A quote

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." --Albert Einstein

Woh log

Sochta hun, dheeme meezaj ke woh bhi kiya log hote hain jo dusron ko asani se maaf ker dene ki quwwat rukhte hain, aur khamoshi aur muskurahat jin ka zewar hota hai. Dukhon ke kese kese duriya unhon ne khud paar kiye honge ke kisi ke dil ko zara koi thes na lug jaaye, is baat ka unhe hur dum khayal rehta hai. Shayed yahi log wali hote hain.

Necessity

There is a saying: "Necessity is mother of invention" (zaroorat eejad ki ma hai). But I think this is a half truth. I think, "Necessity and invention are mother of each other" ! (zaroorat aur ejaad aik dusre ki ma hai). Humans led normal life when there was no electricity and probably were more happy when there was no cell (mobile) phone !!

Ilm

Ilm us mehbooba ki tarah hai jo kubhi aadmi ki nahi ho sakti. Aik lamhe lugta hai ke ab ye ilm mera hai magar dusre hi lamhe woh door khara bewafa mehboob ki tarah mun chira raha hota hai.

Aik Khabar

Following kind of news is common in everyday newspapers of Pakistan and people don't even read them any more...No words.. (Urdu fonts may not be visible properly with all browsers - so I translated below)


غربت سے تنگ آ کر خود کُشی

نواب شاہ (بیورو رپورٹ) کنڈیارو میں بیروزگاری سے تنگ آ کر نوجوان نے خود کو آگ لگا لی، اسے تشویشناک حالت میں نواب شاہ کے اسپتال میں داخل کرایا گیا ہے۔ متاثرہ نوجوان 9 بہن اور بھائیوں میں سب سے بڑا ہے۔ تفصیلات کے مطابق جمعہ کو کنڈیارو کے گاؤں غازی خان گوپانگ میں 24 سالہ سجاد حسین ولد میر محمد گوپانگ نے بیروزگاری سے تنگ آ کر خود پر مٹی کا تیل چھڑکنے کے بعد آگ لگا لی۔ اس نے یہ کارروائی اپنے گھر کے غسل خانے میں کی۔ شور کی آواز سن کر گھر والے پہنچ گئے اور انہوں نے آگ بجھا کر سجاد کو کنڈیارو کے اسپتال پہنچایا جہاں سے اسے حالت زیادہ خراب ہونے کی وجہ سے نواب شاہ میڈیکل کالج و اسپتال منتقل کیا گیا۔ اس سلسلے میں سجاد گوپانگ کے والد اور ریٹائرڈ پرائمری ٹیچر میر محمد گوپانگ نے بتایا کہ ان کے چار بیٹے اور پانچ بیٹیاں ہیں اور سجاد سب سے بڑا ہے۔ وہ آٹھویں جماعت پاس ہے ان کی ریٹائرمنٹ کے بعد خاندان کی ساری ذمہ داری اس کے کاندھوں پر آ گئی تھی کیونکہ پنشن کی رقم سے گزارہ کرنا مشکل ہوگیا، فاقوں کی نوبت آ گئی ہے۔

*

Suicide attempt due to poverty !

Nawabshah (Bureau report): At kandiaro, one young man put himself to fire due to unemployment. He is admitted to NawabShah Hospital in critical condition.Said man was eldest of 9 siblings. Per details, on Friday at Kandiaro’s village Gazi Khan Gopang, 24 year old Sajjad Hussain son of Peer Mohammad attempt to burn himself alive after pouring kerosene oil in bathroom. Family rescued him and was taken to Kandiaro Hospital from where he was transferred to NawabShah Medical College and Hospital due to deteriorating condition. Father Peer Mohammad Gopang is a retired primary school teacher and has 5 daughters and 4 sons and Sajjad was the eldest. He is class 8 pass. After father’s retirement he was responsible for feeding family as pension was not enough to run household and family was facing hunger.

Reshma

(Few days back, koonj did a post secret-lives-of-pakistani-girls. Its a Followup as I revisited that time, era and culture)


"yaar mukhia uncle tumhara phone number maang rahe the, de dun ?"

"Rahim mukhia uncle america aaye huwe hain ?"

"Abe bhai ! peechle 10 baras se woh america main hi hain ?"

"To ab mera phone number kiun dhund rahe hain, kheriat ?"

"Un ki beti Reshma yaad hai tujhe ?-kafi beemar hai"

"Are Reshma ko kaun bhool sakta hai, kia huwa ?".


Reshma hamare school main parhti thi. Hum se aik class peeche thi. Us ke walid Rahim mukhia uncle school ke board member the magar bohut active aadmi the. Hur school activity main moujood hote the. Hum unke naam ka bara mazaq urate the ye kesa naam hai. Phir kisi ne bataya ke gaun main panchayat ke bare ko mukhiya kehte hain aur in ka khandan pusht dur pusht se apne gaun main mukhia hai...kher baat ho rahi thi Reshma ki.

Reshma bari khubsurat lurki thi. Hum sub use dekh ke aahain bhara kerte the. Reshma ka first cousin, farhad hamari class main parhta tha. Bara ajeeb lurka tha. He was a real sex addict. Lurka kia aur lurki kiya. Us ke qisse poore school main mashoor the. Aksar use school ki chat pe dusre lurkon ke saath 'qabile-aetraz' halat main dekha giya. Aur kubhi sunte farhad ne is lurki ko siri per daba diya, us lurki ko peeche se tek diya..wagera wagera... Farhad was protected by bigger kids in school, kiunke woh wahi kuch farhad ke saath kerte.

Jub hum naween (9th class) main paunche to farhad, mujhe aur talal ko claas ki aakhri row main aik hi bench allot hui. Shuru main talal aur main durte the magar jub farhad ko hum tests main cheating kerwa ke paas kerwane lage to phir hume koi khatra nahi raha. Aahista aahista hume bhi maza aane laga jub woh lurke lurkion se apne sexual adventures ke qisse sunata. Aik dafa break main Reshma saamne se guzri tub farhad ne bataya woh kese reshma ko roz uske ghar pe dabata hai. Humne kaha sharam ker. Teri first cousin hai. Teri bahen ke barabar hai. Woh daant nikal ke gadhe ki tarah hasne laga aur gaane laga: 'Reshma jawan ho gai...' Hum ne metric kheriat se ker liya (Talat kehta tha - with virgin ass) aur phir 2/3 saal main kahin farhad se mulaqat ho jaati to ho jaati magar uske sexual adventures ke qisse kahin na kahin se hum tuk paunch hi jaate.

Kher itni tamheed baandhne ka maqsad asal baat ki taraf aana hai ke, Reshma ki shadi ho gai. Bachhe bhi ho gaye. Phir woh america aa gai. Rahim mukhia uncle bhi yahan aa gaye. Reshma bohut bimar thi jub woh mera phone number dhundh rahe the. Reshama was diagnosed with AIDS. Mukhia uncle ko Reshma ne bataya ke ye kaam farhad se hi huwa hoga. Talal america main kisi tarah reshma ke contact main tha. Jub Reshma bimar hui to talal use hospital dekhne gaya. Mukhia uncle ne talal se farhad ki zindagi ke baare main aur kureda. Us ne sub bata diya. Mera naam bhi le liya. Farhad mukhia uncle ke bhai ka beta aur ghar ka hi bachha tha. Unhe yaqeen na aaya. Main ne bhi phone pe talal aur reshma ki baat ki toseeh ker di. Phone pe hi rone lage. Kehne lage Pakistan ja ker pehle to farhad ki biwi ko check kerwaun aur phir us kameene se hisab karun. Allah ka shukar hai reshma ka shoher sensible nikla aur maazi ki saari baat chor ker biwi ke ilaj pe tawajjah di. Shukar hai, na hi use aur na hi dono bachhon main se kisi ko HIV diagnose hui - which is nothing but a miracle.

Us ke baad I lost my telephone diary in move, and eventually lost touch with talal too. Kuch pata nahi aage kiya huwa magar Pakistan ke so called conservative mahol main kese lurkian incest ka shikar hoti hain aur chup chup seh jaati hain, ye us ki misal hai.

Mural Dyslexia

Many times people get stuck into relationship despite clear writing on the wall and can't see that somthing is wrong. Its a big emotional blind spot call - Mural Dyslexia. It can be treated by standing far from the wall for a while and trying to read the writing on the wall. You may not be able to read if you are standing too near to the wall 24/7 of your life.

Z-axis thinking

There are 3 kind of thinkers in this world. Select your axis.

X-axis thinkers: Glass is half empty.

Y-axis thinkers: Glass is half full.

Z-axis thinkers: Actually glass is big.

How many of us can see beyond x and y axes as a full picture.

Aga

Main jub bhi Florida aata hun to Aga se zaroor milta hun.

Aga bhi aik kamal ka lurka hai. Uske sirf 3 shoq hain. Gitar bajana, weekend pe bare aehtamam se, chef cap pahen ker purtakkaluf khana bana ker, doston ki dawat kerna aur teesra photography kerna. Us ki photography kuch alag andaz ki hai. Jin cheezon ko hum nakara samjh ker 'trash' ker dete hain, ya back ally main pari faaltu cheezain ya deewar pe banaye gaye bedhange naqsh - un main woh kuch aesi zindagi bhar deta hai ke aap heran reh jaate hain. Jub bhi florida uske paas aata hun, aik naya album dekhne ko milta hai.

Aga ki zindagi ki kahani bhi kuch ajeeb hai. Aga ko main uski pehli saalgirah se jaanta hun jub amma mujhe uske ghar le gain. Aga mera koi door ka cousin hota hai lekin asli rishta to mujhe bhi nahi maloom. Aga ka baap aik sharabi aadmi tha. Ma ne baap ke asar se bachane ke liye boarding school bhej diya. Aga batata hai ke boarding school main woh kafi bully huwa. Jub matric ker ke ghar aaya to baap ne hyderabad se karachi bhej diya. Yahan taya chacha ke gharon pe dhakke khata raha aur phir uski ma ne mamu ke paas america bhijwane ka bandobast ker diya. Aga jub america aaya to uski umer koi 17/18 baras ki thi. Aga ne mujh se kai baar ye baat kahi ke jis din se us ne america main qadam rukkha, us din se us ne ye than li ke woh doctor bane ga magar tamam ter koshish aur mehnat ke bawajood, he was unable to get in medical school, aur is baat ne use ander se boht tor ke rukh diya. Jub main america aaya to kuch arse Aga ka roommate bhi raha. 1992 ka hurricane andrew hum ne aik chat ke neeche guzara. Us zamane main aga subha sawere 4 baje uth ker dunkin donut main donuts bake kerta aur phir college jaata. Magar shomiye qismat us ko medical school main dakhla na mila. Dusri budnaseebi ye hui ke, use aik gori se mohabbat ho gai. They broke after 3 years of relationship. In saari baton ne use ander se kafi jhanjhor ke rukh diya magar phir woh kehte hain na ke waqt sub se bara marham hota hai.

Aga ko zindagi ne kuch nahi diya magar aaj bhi woh zindagi se utni hi mohabbat kerta hai. Mujhe ye baat samjhne main waqt laga ke kiun Aga ko gitar bajana aur khana banana pasand hai, kiunke ke ye zindagi ki alamatain hain aur kese woh logon ki pehnki hui bejaan naakara cheezon main zindagi ke rung bhar deta hai.

Main jub bhi florida aata hun Aga se zaroor milta hun !

While Browsing

Quote of the day:
"There's no point in making money if you can't eat good food." Taken from blog of Yasmine

Post of the Day:
Post V-thoughts from Baraka's blog Truth & Beauty

New Word of the Day:
S.A.D (Single Awareness Day) from Mezba's blog

On valentine's day

Act one
Year: 1996
Location: Andheri, Bombay

"Abbu main ne aap ko bataye bagair america ka visa apply kiya tha aur mujhe visa mil gaya hai. Aap naraz na ho. Mera ab wese bhi aap logon ko chor ker jaane ka dil nahi ker raha. Main India nahi chorun ga"

"Nahi bete ! Ye to bohut achhi khabar hai. Tum zaroor jao. Tumhe zaroor jana chahiye. Tumhari bahen ki mungni wese hi america ho gai hai. Chota Aziz bhi parhne main theek ja raha hai, woh bhi wahan kisi university main chala jaaye ga. Aur inshallah agar allah ne chaha hum bhi kisi din wahan aa jain ge. Tumhare jaane main humari khushi shamil hai. India main kiya karo ge. Hum middle class walon ki yahan koi pooch nahi. Zaroor chale jao."

***********************************

Act Two
Year: 2001
Location: Miami, Florida

"Abbu ! Aziz kheriat se yahan paunch gaya hai. Dilshad bhi bilkul theek hai. Us ki bachhi ke birthday per hum weekend pe Atlanta jaayain ge. Aap log please america ke visa ki try kijye".

******************************************

Act Three
Year: Fab. 12, 2007
Location: ER, Jackson Memorial Hospital, Miami, Florida

"I am very sick since last 3/4 days. I start having this boil on my ankle a week ago and now whole leg is red".

Diagnosis - Necrotizing Fasciitis.
IV fluid, Clindamycin, STAT labs and CT scan.
Call surgical resident STAT.

"Surgery went fine but he is in severe septic shock. He will die"


******************************************

Act Four
Year: Feb. 13, 2007
Location: US Embassy, Bombay

Parents with visa application and fax letter from hospital in USA to see their dying son.

Visa pending. Further details not known.

******************************************

Act Five
Year: Feb. 14, 2007
Location: Juhu Beach, Bombay

A father sitting quietly watching sunset.
His son's funeral planned for tomorrow morning.

Anjana station

Kiya tum kubhi kisi dost ki khatir, kisi aese station pe utre ho, jo 'in middle of nowhere' ho aur jis ka tumhe kuch pata na ho ke kahan hai ?

Erica

Since I started this job, Erica was always nasty to me. I was a typical pakistani FOB and Erica was a typical american girl. I was unable to figure out, where is the friction. I thought either its my accent or simply her personality or sometime I felt it as pure racism. It took 2 years before small interactions made us friend.

And one day, I was shocked when she said to me in Urdu "Aaj tum ghar se lunch nahi laaye" !

"Excuse me", I said, "Can you speak Urdu ?"

And that sunny day on our lunch break, we sat on the stairs of our office building. Her first sentence was: "I hated you all Desis for long time but now I am coming to the term that all brown skins are not the same". She told me her story," I was 19 when I fall in love with a Pakistani guy from Lahore. He was illegal but it didn't bother me. And one day, he was caught while driving without license and was deported back to his country. I went behind him to Lahore. You will never know what it takes for a sidhi sadhi gori to go against her very conservative christian parents and to go to a country like Pakistan all alone. I married him. I stayed in Lahore for 3 years while I filed his immigration so I can bring him back to USA. I fall in love with spicy food, dresses, wedding and innocent pakistani girls, who I found no different from american girls in heart and I loved learning Urdu. Once things get straight-out, we were back in USA.....And you know what.... that Son of a B**** was just interested in Green Card. After a while, he divorced me and later had a grand wedding with a nice pakistani virgin girl. I could have made him deport again but I didn't do it....And than she said in urdu...tum desi lurke samjhte ho ke sub gori lurkian slut hoti hain, unhe use karo aur phenk do...".

She was busy eating her sandwich. I saw little tears trickling through her eyelashes. I excuss myself to go to restroom as I felt like puking on myself and my fellow Pakistani lurke !

Sir Aleem

Sie Aleem se yun achanak 18 saal baad mulaqat ho gi ye to main soch bhi nahi sakta tha. Sir Aleem mere un chand "teachers" main se the jinhe main kubhi nahi bhool saka. Teacher to woh kehne ko 'islamiyat' ke the magar hamesah class main tie suit pahen ker aate the. Daarhi bhi nahi thi aur angrezi, angrezi ke ustad se bhi achhi bolte the. Un se 'islamiyat' to kher jo sikhi woh sikhi magar un ki sunai hui dev malai kahanian aaj bhi mujhe yaad hain. Kubhi kisi mazhab ki buraii na suni unse. 'Islamiyat' ke period main hindu, yahood, zartoosht aur yunani mazhaib ke ajeeb o gareeb qisse sunate aur hum khuli aankh se saare waaqiat apne saamne chalte dekhte. Aur phir aahista se batate ke kese woh purani rasoomat islam main daakhil huin aur kese un ilhamat ki nai tashreeh naye zamane main hui. Unhon ne bacchon ke liye aik kitab mazahib-o-aqaid ke tassalsul per asan zaban main likh ker "Board of Education" ko urdu aur angrezi main di magar Pakistan jese mulk main woh kisi raddi ki tokri main dub ker reh gai.

Main ne Pakistan chor diya magar kahin na kahin sir aleem ka zikar zaroor aata ya kubhi koi aesi baat sunta jo un se suni thi to bohut yaad aate. Aaj subha se un se suni hui ye baat bohut yaad aa rahi thi ke kese Kalidas aur Shakespeare ke dramon main kai batain mhustarik hain (humain tub to kuch pata na chalta ke kiya bol rahe hain) aur phir batate ke sadion ke faraq ke bawajud ooper waale se ilm usi noiyat se ata hota hai ................

Sham ko mere bachhe ne zid ki ke park jaana hai. Main park main bachhe ko jhule ki taraf le ja raha tha ke aik shaks tie suit pehne pursukoon aik bench pe betha tha. Jis andaaz se us ne apna chashma theek kiya main thora aage gaya aur phir mur ker wapas aaya. Main ne kaha: "Sir Aleem"?. Unhon ne chaunk ke meri taraf dekha, bole: "Haan". Main ne kaha: "Sir mujhe pehchana"?. Gor se dekhne lage. Main ne taaruf karaya to foran pehchan gaye. Hur kisi ka naam le le ker poochne lage. Main ne apne bacche se kaha inhe salam karo, ye mere ustad hain. Main ne kaha: "Sir aap america main"?. Bataya bhai se milne aaya hun. Batane lage ke kese ab bhi woh bachhon ko 'islamiyat' parhate hain. Un ki bataon main aaj bhi wahi conviction tha. Bole ab apni kitab america se chapwaun ga..aur phir na jaane kub baton baton main mere bete ko koi dev malai qissa sunane beth gaye aur use koi baat sikha di. Mujhe hosh aaya to sham dhalne ko aa gai thi. Un ki bhi 'ride' aa gai thi. Chalte huwe apna email diya. Bohut taakid ki ke dusre students ko bhi de dun...

Aur main sochta raha ke - tie suit pahen ker, email kerte, Kalidas aur Shakespeare parhate - kitne teacher honge jinhon ne islam ki asal taalim ko logon ke dil main utara hoga.

Unplanned

We always hear that.......our this child was born unplanned. It was accidental. He/she came out of blue. I was shocked that I am pregnant.... And I always wonder: is it really an accident ? ....or is it that we can't stop the soul already entitled to born in this world ?

eebrat

Allah na kare koi insaan logon ke liye deedaye-eebrat bun jaaye. Insaan ko us waqt se durna chahiye, kahin kisi ki bud-dua hi na lug jaaye ya allah ka qaher toot pare.

(God forbid ! no one becomes sign of misfortune and patheticity for other human beings. A man should fear that moment, if he falls into someone's curse or God's wham).

Khandrat

Kai logon ko khandrat se ishq ho jaata hai, jinhe archaeologists kehte hain.

Kis mimber pe girja tha shahe-hukam pehle,
kis mahel main giri thi deewar pehle,
Kis raani ne hasad ki aag main
kaneez ki gardan ketwaii bekus
Kahan et tu brutus ka saaniha huwa
kahan deewar main chune jaane ka huwa almiyah
Kahan patharron se doodh ki naher nikalne ka maujiza
Kis deewar pe mohenjo-daaro main bana naqsh pehla
Ye gol ghumti sirhian (stairs) ooper ko kahan jaati hain
aur neeche kis teh-khane ka raaz faash kerti hain

In main kubhi hum jese insaan ghuma kerte the
Socha kerte the, bola kerte the, likha kerte the

Aur phir sub pani ka bulbula
A to Z pani ka bulbula*


(This line was written by Amjad Islam Amjad as a rap song in Urdu TV drama 'waris' about 25-30 years ago)

lafz

Hamare mohalle se aik lurke Nauman ne TV per kaafi naam paida kiya aur kai TV serials main hero aata raha aur aaj bhi kaafi masroof adakar hai.

Jub main ne Pakistan chora to Nauman ki umer 17 baras ki hogi. Woh din bhar TV station ke chakkar lagaya kerta aur sham ko mohalle main awara gardi kiya kerta.Us ki harkaton se saara mohalla pareshan tha. Logon ko tang kerna, lurkion ko cherna, logon ke paese cheen lena wagera us ke mashagil main shamil tha.

America aane ke 3/4 baras baad jub main pehli baar Pakistan giya to Nauman ko TV pe kaam milne laga tha aur is wajah se us ka dimag aur bhi kharab ho gaya tha. Us ki harkatain mazeed barh chuki thin. Aik din main rickshaw se utra to rickshaw driver ne kaha: "Shahab main zara hi aage rehta hun. Mujhe ilm hai aap america se aaye hain. Aap mujhe dollar main kiraya de dain". Main ne wallet se 3 dollar nikale. Abhi 3 dollar aadhe mere haat main aur aadhe rikshaw driver ke haat main the ke Nauman ne aake beech se aik dollar khench liya. Main ne dollar uske haat se le ker driver ko de diye.

Main Nauman ke saath aik makan ke chabutre pe beth giya. Main ne use samjhaya: "Dekho tum aik actor bunne ja rahe ho.Tum bohut aage jao ge. Magar aik achha adakar bunne ke liye kirdar ki mazbooti aur khud apne character ki 'maturity' zaroori hai. Jub tuk awargardi ki bajaye kitabain nahi paroge, logon ka dard khud mehsoos nahi karo ge, shayed star to bun jao magar actor nahi bun sako ge".

Mujhe nahi maalum, Nauman ne meri baton ka kitna asar liya. Saalon baad peechle baras main phir Pakistan giya to Nauman badal chuka tha. Us ki adakari main aik phuktagi aa gai hai. Mujh se mila to kafi mature laga. Kafi samjhdari ki batain kerne laga tha. Chalte huwa kehne laga: "aap ne us din samjhaya na hota to kub ka commercial entertainment ki duniya main mur chuka hota. Star to kiya bunta kub ka out ho chuka hota. Cut throat competition main acting ke sahare hi zinda hun".

Kubhi kubhi zindagi main chup rehna galat hota hai. You have to speak up. Ho sakta hai us din Nauman meri baat ka koi asar na leta ya mujh se jhagra hi ho jaata magar kubhi kubhi chand lafz kisi bhi insaan ki zindagi badal sakte hain.

Lafzon ki bari taqat aur hurmat hoti hai.

Aik adhoori Kahani

Kubhi kubhi zindagi main aesa hota hai ke aap koi adhoori kahani sun ke bhool jaate hain aur barson baad khayal aata hai ke aakhir us kahani ka kiya anjaam huwa.

Jese USA main cafes aur starbucks hote hain wese hi karachi main chai khane hote hain jahan shamon ko khub mehfilain sajhti hain. Hamare mohalle se zara aage aik "khan sahab" ka chai khana 'darweshabad hotel' ke naam se tha. Wahin beth ker hum america aane ke khawab dekhte, plans banate, forms bharte, dirty latife chalte, gossips hoti aur zindagi baag-o-bahar rehti. Wahan aksar aik lurka Azhar aaya kerta tha. Azhar kafi suljha huwa lurka tha, use america aane ka koi shoq nahi tha. Waalid ke paas achhi daulat thi. Azhar aur us ke ghar waale 'gulshan' (karachi ka ilaqa gulshane-iqbal) main bunne wale naye naye bunglon main move ho gaye the is liye us ka aana jaana kafi kum ho gaya tha. Naye saal ki pehli shaam thi jub us ne hume apni ye adhoori kahani sunai. Mujhe nahi maaloom phir kiya huwa, is liye khaatir jama rukiye ke kahani ke ikhtatam pe mujhe na kosiye ga ke yunhi waqt barbad kiya. Magar us adhoori kahani ke baare main sochta hun ke... kisi din aap ko ye pata chale ke aap ka koi bhai ya bahen (sibling) hai jis ki aap ko khabar hi na thi, to aap ka kiya jazbati aur nafsiyati 'reaction' hoga. Azhar ne jis din hume ye kahani sunai us ke saath aik 11/12 baras ka lurka bhi tha, jise us ne 'chai biscut' le ker dur bitha diya. Jub hum ne poocha, ye kaun hai to Azhar ne bataya....

"Mere abbu ki ye dusri shadi hai aur meri ammi ki bhi. Meri asal walida mere chote bhai zafar ki paidaish pe hi fot ho gain thi. Tub meri umer 17 baras ki thi. Hum dono ki paidaish main itna waqfa kiun raha ye mere liye bhi raaz hai. Ammi ki wafat ke baad zafar ko paalne ke liye abbu ne dusri shadi ker li. Mere liye nai soteli ma ko qabool kerna koi mushkil kaam na tha. Main college aur apni cricket main mast tha. Lekin khuda jhut na bulwaye, nai ma ne kubhi ye mehsoos na hone diya ke woh soteli ma hai. Us ne zafar ko sagi ma se barh ker paala hai. Ammi ki peechli zindagi ke baare main kuch maalum nahi. Bus suna hai un ka shoher sharabi tha. Marta pitta tha. Is liye talaq ho gai. Hum na to kubhi un ke ghar waalon se mile na kubhi ammi ne kuch bataya. Agar kubhi kisi ne poocha bhi to ammi taal gain. Hum ne to ye bhi suna tha ke abbu ammi ko bhaga ker laye the. Sach jhoot allah jaane.

Ammi aur abbu jitna aik dusre se piyar kerte hain utna hi jhagrte bhi hain. Abbu ke paas paese ki kami nahi is liye aksar hafte do hafte ke liye unka ghar chor jana hamare liye koi nai baat nahi. Abhi aik hafta pehle phir un dono ka jhagra huwa aur abbu bankok chale gaye. Phir phone pe unki baat hui aur new year ke liye ammi aur zafar ko bhi bula liya. 2 din pehle chowkidar bhi chutti le ker gaon chala gaya.

Aaj saal ka pehla din hai. Subha 6 baje ke qareeb ghar main kisi khat khat se meri aankh khuli. Main ne uth ke khirki se bahir sarak pe dekha to police ki mobile khari thi aur naye banne waale bunglon main kaam kerte mazduron se bhatta le rahi thi. Mujhe phir ghar ke ander se ajeeb awazain aain to main pehli manzil pe ammi abbu ke kumre ki taraf giya to ye lurka bag thame ander khara tha. Main samjha koi chor uchakka ghus aaya hai. Main ne daraya ke police bahir hi khari hai abhi unke hawale kerta hun. Is main bala ka confidence hai. Kehne laga tum mujhe yahan se nahi nikal sakte. Mujhe gussa aa gaya. Chor ulta kotwal ko daante wali masal ho gai. Main ise ghaseetta huwa darwaze tuk laya. Darwaza khola to bahir lurke tape ball se cricket shuru ker rahe the. Main ne poocha, bolo ya to police ko de dun ya in lurkon se bhurta bunwaun. Ye girgirane laga. Kehne laga tum meri baat aik baar to suno. Main ne kaha bolo... kehne laga...tumhari ammi meri bhi ammi hai.....main apne abbu ke saath rehta hun...ammi ne sakhti se mana kiya tha ke kubhi un se na milun. Woh chup chup ker mujh se khud milti thin. Unhon ne kaha tha ke tum agar bilkul majboor ho jao bus tub is ghar aana. Kul abbu ne sharab ke nashe main mujhe bohut mara aur ghar se nikal diya.... main ne bohut phone kiye magar ammi ne phone nahi uthaya (Ye un dinon ki baat hai jub mobile phone ya caller IDs nahi hoti thin). Mere paas koi chara na tha..main raat bhar dhundhe dhundhte chal chal ke yahan poncha. Mujhe laga ghar pe koi nahi is liye deewar phalang ke ander aa gaya. Ammi ke aane tuk yahan rehne do.

Azhar ne poocha ..tum sub batao main kiya kerta....main ne muskura ker kaha..ma baap alag alag hain phir bhi shakal to milti hai !, Kisi ne kaha ab bankok se bhi aik bhai aaye ga !! Baat aai gai ho gai. Phir pata nahi aage kiya huwa. Azhar ke abbu ne kese react kiya ? Lurka wahin raha ke phir bhej diya giya...Nahi maalum....Is adhoori kahani pe phir wahi sawal hai ke...... kisi din aap ko ye pata chale ke aap ka koi bhai ya bahen (sibling) hai jis ki aap ko khabar hi na thi, to aap ka kiya jazbati aur nafsiyati 'reaction' hoga. Gussa, khushi, hairat ya sub kuch thora thora ??

Ma

Ye kesi khusbu hai ke aik baccha hazaron ke majme (crowd) main apni ma ko dhundh leta hai.