A diary of a recovered alcoholic

Shared by a close friend.

Four months back, my wife kicked me out of the house after she could not take my habit of binge alcohol drinking. I could not drive far and ended up in a low-level motel. My grown-up kids freaked out, and both came home to check on the situation. I'm not sure what I did at the motel under the influence of alcohol. I just recall doing inappropriate stuff, which could have taken my social prestige. As I recovered to soberness in a couple of days, I made the decision in my heart to quit alcohol cold turkey. I decided not to go to rehab as I didn't want anyone to know my closet's skeleton. The next three months were not easy. It was a roller-coaster. With the help of my wife, a lot of reading on addictions, exercise, good healthy nutrition, vitamins, and keeping myself occupied with work made me recover. 

Great, Right? - not entirely

I don't think I will ever touch alcohol again as now I fully understand the evils and price of alcoholism - but there is a caveat. I should say that there was something very unique in those moments when I was thoroughly messed up, taken over, and deep under the influence of alcohol, which made me happy! I was willing to give up anything for that part of psychological peace!! I can very much see why many people go back to alcohol again and again. There is something profound inside the core of alcoholism that makes you surrender yourself entirely to yourself!!! A sense of liberation and freedom from everything. Don't take me wrong. I am just sharing a truthful evaluation of myself. You may call it a diary of a (recovered) alcoholic.

I guess this is true for any addiction.