Saturday, May 24, 2008

Zaban

Agar aap insaan ki zaban ki anatomy dekhain to sub se aage sweet buds hain, phir salty, peeche sour aur aakhir main bitter buds.

Matlab: Insaan zaban ko hamesah meetha rakhe aur zaroorat pare to hi zaban karwahat ke liye nikale

(Refresh if you don't see pic)



Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Baap ka saaya !

Jub main america main residency dhundh raha tha to aik din aik hospital main mulaqat aik Pakistani lurke aman se hui. Aman us hospital main RT (Respiratory Therapist) tha. Mere pass car nahi thi. Aman mere bare kaam aaya. Woh raat bhar hospital main job kerta aur subha mujhe apni car main le ker mukhtalif hospitals ke chakkar lagata. Yun Aman se meri kafi gheri dosti ho gai. Mera uske ghar aana jana bhi huwa. Aman ka aik beta Jamal tha aur woh hu-bahu Aman ki 'copy' tha. Mujhe aehsas huwa Jamal apne baap se bohut qareeb hai. Kher, waqt guzar gaya. Main kisi aur shahr chala gaya. Main residency main lug gaya. 2/3 baras usse koi ziyada baat nahi hui magar 1996 ke Christmas wale din hum ne 2 ghante khub dil khol ker pakistan ki siyasat se le ker sinfe-nazuk ki nafsiyat per batain ki. Is doran kai dafa usne apne bete Jamal ka zikar kiya !

Aur aik hafte baad 1997 ki new year ki subh main phone ki ghanti se bedaar huwa. Aman ko new year ki night kisi drunk driver ne hit kiya, and he died on the spot. Mayyat (funeral) wagera jese hota hai wese huwa. Jub saare log Aman ko dafna ker chale gaye to main akela kafi der Aman ki qabar ke paas khara agar-batti ka dhunwa dekhta raha. Aik achha insan aik dum se yun chala jaaye aur baqi reh jaaye sirf agar-batti ka dhunwan !! I couldn't decide how to react !!

Jamal ki umer us waqt 8/9 baras rahi hogi. Woh chup tha. Main ne use rote nahi dekha. Aesa lagta tha, jese he didn't know what exactly happen and that his father is gone forever.

Is baat ko 8 baras aur guzar gaye. 2005 ki eid per main florida gaya to Jamal nazar aaya. Yun mehsoos huwa jese Aman saamne khara ho. Aga ne bataya Jamal ko depression ka shadeed marz ho gaya hai. Main ne Jamal se kaha, aao drive ker ke aate hain. Jamal ne mujh se koi baat na ki. Woh sehma sehma passenger seat pe betha raha. Main ne poocha: "Do you drive?" Us ne jawab diya: "No. Cars kill people".....Aur phir usne kaha: "I miss my father" !

'Beloved' baap ka saaya aik dum se uth jaaye to bachhon pe kiya guzarti hai uski misal mere saamne thi. Mujhe yun laga jese Jamal ki zindagi bhi usi lamhe ruk gai thi jis lamhe Aman ki.

Us raat drunk driver ne aik nahi do zindagion ko maut ke ghat utara.

Drive safely !

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Bhootnath

Agar aap ye blog parhte hain to aap ko andaza hoga ke main filmain (movies) bohut dekhta hun. Last I saw was Amitabh's "Bhootnath" !

Zindagi ke kai aese waqiat hote hain jo aap blog pe nahi likhte magar woh puri sachhai se aap ke ander rehte hain.

Meri zindagi main bhi aese (mushkil) lamhat aaye hain jin se mujhe ye yaqeen hai ke, jo log aap se mohabbat kerte hain woh mar ke bhi (after death) aap se qareeb rehte hain. Jub aap pareshan hote hain to unki ruh (soul) bhi pareshan ho jaati hai aur shayed aap ki hifazat ki sa'aie (endeavor) bhi kerti hai.

Any comment?

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Mothers' Day

Allah jhut na bulwaye, sadruddin ko dekh ker kahin se nahi lagta ke woh america main 30 baras se hai. Urdu masal ke mutabiq yun mehsoos hota hai ke "bara baras dilli main rahe aur baar hi jhonka!" Shirt patloon ka wahi andaaz, paoon main BATA ke hawaii chappal, mun main paan, be-dhangi munchain, wahi bikhre bikhre baal, ziyada ter shave bari hui....

Sadruddin, us gas station pe job kerta hai jahan se main ziyada ter gas(petrol) dalwata hun. Peechle sunday main gas bharwane ruka to aik aur employee ne tanzia muskurahat ke saath bataya ke sadruddin ne aaj "mothers' day" pe off liya hai ! Sadruddin aur 'mothers' day' ? - bari hairat hui. Mujhe itna zaroor malum tha ke sadruddin ke waldain Pakistan main rehte hain. Main samjha yunhi chutti ka bahana kiya hoga!

Mera windshield washer khatam huwa to main kul sham phir gas station per ruka, to sadruddin se mulaqat hui. Main ne haste huwe kaha - sunday ko chutti kerni thi to koi 'credible' bahana banate. Mothers' Day pe chutti? Kaun maane ga?

Sadruddin ne mujh se kaha: "Main janta hun log kiya sochte hain magar ye sach hai ke main har mothers' day pe chutti leta hun. Is roz main apni biwi aur 3 bachhon ko le ker bahir ghumne nikalta hun. Hum dinner pe jaate hain, aur main aur bachhe mil ker meri biwi ko Mothers' Day ka gift dete hain. Ab ki baar mere bare bete ne meri biwi ko aik khubsarat khat bhi likha: I promise you mother, I will make you proud of me". Sadruddin ne kaha: "Mera khayal hai, bachhon ko Ma ki respect sikhane ka is se behtar din koi nahi".

Mujhe aesa laga, America se sadruddin ne to bohut kuch sikh liya magar main ne hi ab tuk baar jhonka !!

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Woh 5 minutes

Canada main meri aik rishte ki bahen hai - Nagin. Main jab bhi canada jata hun to 2/3 roz nagin ke ghar therna zaroor hota hai. Nagin ke shohar kaam se raat 12 baje ghar aate hain. Nagin khud bhi job kerti hai magar woh har raat apne shohar ka intezar kerti hai. Main ye silsila peechle 12 baras se dekh raha hun. Aik aesi hi raat Nagin bohut thaki hui lag rahi thi. Main ne usse kaha: "Tum so jao, main bhai ke liye betha hun". Tab Nagin ne mujh se aik baat kahi aur woh main ne aaj tuk kisi kitab main nahi parhi !

Kisi bhi mian biwi ki zindagi main sab se aham (important) - "woh 5 minutes" - hote hain jo sone se pehle woh saath guzarte hain. Zarori nahi ke, us paanch minute main koi physical cheez ho, ya koi gheri baat (discussion) ho. Magar ye 'woh 5 minutes' hote hain jo mian biwi ko jor ke rakhte hain. Jub saath ye '5 minutes' guzarna band ho jain to aahista aahista kai alao (flames) bujh jaate hain !

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Akhtar Bhai ka America

America har kisi ko raas nahi aata. Kubhi kubhi America ki zindagi insaan ka sab kuch barbad bhi ker deti hai. Aese hi aik bad-qismat insaan hain Akhtar Bhai. Jub main america naya naya aaya to Akhtar Bhai se jaan pehchan hui. Kuch arse un se koi rabta nahi raha magar aik hafte pehle, main aik desi restaurant se 'naan' pick kerne gaya to aik table pe akele bethe nazar aaye.

Akhtar Bhai, aaj se koi 20 baras pehle america aaye. Har immigrant ki tarah unhon ne bhi odd jobs ki aur yahan settle hone ki koshish ki. Go gori se green card ke chakkar main shadi ki magar imandari se us rishte ko nibhane ki koshish ki. Un ke 2 bachhe bhi huwe magar bad-bakhti ki dastan aage khud un ki zabani suniye:

"America mere liye baaise-rehmat ki bajaye azab-jaan bun gaya. Shuru shuru main to yahan settle hone ki dhun main kaam kerta gaya, shadi ki aur kuch ziyada pata na chala.Sab theek theek chalta raha magar jub mera lurka school jaane laga to use school walon ne ADHD diagnose kiya. Jo 'medicines' doctor ne likh ker di, us se us ki personality aur change hone lagi. Jub main ne khud us ki medicines rok di to school walon ne 'child protective service' ko report ker di. Qissa mukhtasr, court order ki wajah se ab har 2 weeks pe mujhe, bete ke saath, unke daftar aur doctor ki clinic ja ker hazri deni parti hai aur affidavit sign kerna parta hai. Mera beta jis zehni koft se guzarta hai us ka bayan nahi. Peechle hafte uska utra chehra dekh ker mere aansu nikal aaye. Main ne uske sir per haat pehra aur kaha: 'I am sorry beta!, I never meant things to go this way'.

Kuch mera qasoor tha aur kuch meri biwi ka. Bachhe na to musalman rahe aur na christian. Mulk aur khandan se bhi rishta aahista aahista khatam ho gaya. Mazhab se doori aur 'cultures' ke 'conflicts' ne meri beti ko aik dyfunctional aur confuse teenager bana diya. 'Few days ago I was horrified to learn that she participated in one Jerry springer type show!' Is baat per mera aur meri biwi ka khub jhagra huwa. Kul subha, meri office building ki manager ka mujhe phone aaya ke - 'police constable is here to serve from your wife (divorce)" !!

yeh daagh daagh ujala, yeh shab gazeeda sahar
woh intezaar tha jiska, yeh woh sahar to nahin

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Yaqeen

Bollywood ki nai film release hui hai - "U,me aur Hum"

Despite flaws and masala of commercialism (A-rated), overall its a good movie. I enjoyed it very much. The theme, story line, acting, direction, cinematogaphy and dialogues are of quality.

Film ke aakhiri hisse main, film ke Hero ko, uska dost aik kahani sunata hai:

"aik gaun main akaal (drought) par gaya. Zameenain sukh gain. Jub halat bohut kharab ho gai to gaun walon ne socha - sub aik saath mil ker mandir jaate hain aur bhagwan se baarish ki prathna (prayer) kerte hain. Jub saare log mandir paunche to aik bachha chata (umbrella) le ker aaya tha - kiunke sirf use yaqin tha ke bhagwan se prathna kerne se baarish zaroor hogi."

Monday, May 05, 2008

Schizophrenia

Ye kese ho sakta hai ke tum ne dard se aah bhari ho aur mere kaanoN ne suna na ho !

Sunday, May 04, 2008

Taaziat

"Main tum se phone ker ke kiya kehta. Yahi ke bara afsos huwa ! Aur ye ke tum apni jis biwi se bohut mohabbat kerte the woh mar gai!

Aik shaks pehle hi aik dukh se guzar raha ho, ab us ke dukh ko aur kiya barhana!"

Friday, May 02, 2008

Mohabbat ki Diq

"Hazrat Essa ko unke hawarion ka chor ker chale jana sirf tarikh ka aik waqiya nahi, bulke aese tamam logon ke liye aik ista'ara hai, jinhain insanon se mohabbat kerne ki diq ho jaati hai !"

(Abandonment of Jesus by his disciples is not just an event of history, but an inscribe for all those humans, who develop TB of loving other humans!)