Saturday, December 16, 2017

Beyond 'Cheeni Kum' - 2

(When blog is written over years, it is interesting that many stories come back to haunt. About 3-4 years ago, I blogged a story of my one classmate from UK who married a man 30 years older. Last week, I was in London and leaned second part of her ordeal. You may read previous post here ).

"2 weeks ago, he died!

And now I realize, how rude and nasty my attitude was to him as he struggled to keep himself together. Looking back, I fall in love with him as he was a remarkable accomplished man. He was an extremely literate and an educated man. I fall for his intelligence. But we lived two generations apart.

A woman's tragedy is that she wants a man who is mature like her father but boyish like her brother. And, if she cannot pacify her two poles apart extreme desires - she suffers a life long agony. Trust me doc! most women suffer this agony. It is that some women are just good in hiding it - and some cheat - and some are good in manipulating mens' around. And, I cried in my bedroom. I wish, law prohibit older men to marry a young woman - for their own sake!

Now, as he is gone - and I go over his huge collection of books, his records and fondness of classical Indian music and his writings, and letters of his students, his plaques, his accolades, his awards - I am afraid to think that I expedite his death. A man needs a woman to take care of him from childhood to old age, and she puts price tags on it of her desires. I was so veiled by my own desires that I failed him. I was not even home when he died that evening.  My soul shudders to even think that he died helplessly. We don't even know what killed him? a low blood sugar or a heart attack.

 Doc! A woman is a complicated creature, and  even the most intelligent ones - like him - cannot vibrate with her. A woman with intense emotions is the most lethal one. I advise you to have a relatively simple one!"

Thursday, December 14, 2017

Bystander Effect

I was preparing for FLEX (Federal Licensing Exam) during my residency. In library, I found other residents who were preparing for same exam. We used to go to nearby 'Seattle's Best Coffee" to take our break from tedious medical subjects. We had a one very intelligent resident from Argentina who was full of nationalism and Argentinian pride. I admired his strong association with his culture and country.

One day, we end up talking about the best definition of "humanity". We all had our own ideas. My argentinian friend had the most unique definition. He said: "If you have a capacity to defy bystander effect and can jump to the gun to help another human being, you have a humanitarian trait. Delay due to bystander effect takes away the soul of humanity".

We all looked at his face with same question: "what is bystander effect?"

He explained: "When a person, group, community or a whole country is in crisis, and you delay to initiate your part of help - in the hope/anticipation that someone else will do it - you are having a bystander effect."

It is now almost 20 years to above conversation. Today, when I read newspapers and learn about miseries of people across the world everyday, I question myself - Am I in bystander effect?  - What is my responsibility irrespective of what others do?

Not a easy world to live unless you have a callous apathy toward others.

Thursday, December 07, 2017

Boondi ke laddu

"Tumhari mithai agar gulab jamun hai, to meri boondi ke laddu".

"Boondi ke laddu - naaaa!!  - Boondi ke laddu? seriously?"

" Bhai! hum lyallpur main rehte the. Mere abbu aik mill mazdoor the. Har mahine ki pehli taarikh ko jab abbu ko paise milte to woh aate hue boondi ke laddu le aate. BarsoN ye silsila chalta raha. Hamari zindagioN main boondi ke laddu aur pehli taarikh lazim-o-malzoom ho gaye.

.........Mere liye boondi ke laddu sirf laddu nahi, bulke aik poora maazi hai, khubsurat rishte naatoN ka aur  piyar ka aik silsila hai, baap ki shafqat ki akkasi  hai.

.......Kisi bhi insaan ki aik aam si aadat ke peeche barsoN ka yaadoN ka rela chupa hota hai. 

Doctor! tum itni jaldi judgemental na ho jaaya karo!"

Friday, December 01, 2017

On Bhagavad Gita and Sufism

Received following email on one of our previous post On sufism  (here)

"Aap ka blog kabhi kabhi parhta hun. I am not a very religious person and like to read on various religions. At the end, they all have the same messages and indeed same message of divine light. When I read your post on sufism I recalled our hindu religion's sacred book 'Bhagavad Gita', which is basically a chronicle of teaching, conversation and spiritual experiences of Arjun and his master lord Krishna. He slowly learns to connect our worldly experiences with divinity, and learn to elevate his soul via various meditations and yogas like karma-yoga and dhayan-yoga. 

Bhagavad Gita is divided into eighteen chapters and whole eleventh chapter is dedicated to Arjun's experience of divine light, which you described as happening in 'nanosecond'.

And the final chapter may shock you as it asks for full submission to divine. I found same message in Islam, to submit to the will of God. I think sajda in all prayers of Islam attest to the same philosophy, And as much as I have read, whole sufism revolves around submission (correct me if I am wrong).

Keep writing.


Sunday, November 26, 2017

Urdu ka sab se taweel shyr

I have blogged about my fascination with Urdu classical poet Nazeer Akbarabadi before (here, here). As I wrote before, his poetry is mostly in long 'bahar', he held the privilege of writing the longest urdu shyr. See below. This is only one shyr.

نظیر اکبر آبادی کا ایک شعر... طویل ترین بحر میں

پہلا مصرع
ایک دن باغ میں جا کر، چشم حیرت زدہ وا کر، جامہء صبر قبا کر، طائر ہوش اڑا کر،شوق کو راہ نما کر، مرغ نظارہ اڑا کر...دیکھی رنگت جو چمن کی، خوبی نسرین و سمن کی ،شکل غنچوں کے دہن کی، تازگی لالہ کے تن کی، تازگی گل کے بدن کی...کشت سبزے کی ہری تھی، نہر بھی لہر بھری تھی، ہر خیاباں میں تری تھی، ڈالی ہر گل کی ہری تھی، خوش نسیم سحری تھی... سروشمشاد وصنوبر، سنبل و سوسن وعرعر، نخل میوے سے رہے بھر، نفس بادمعنبر، درو دیوار معطر... کہیں قمری تھی مطوق، کہیں انگور معلق، نالے بلبل کے مدقق،کہیں غوغائ کی بق بق، اس قدر شاد ہوا دل، مثل غنچے کے گیا کھل، غم ہوا کشتہ و بسمل،شادی خاطر سے گئی مل، خرمی ہو گئ حاصل...روح بالیدہ ہو آئی، شان قدرت نے دکھائی، جان سے جان میں آئی،
باغ کیا تھا گویا اللہ نے اس باغ میں جنت کو اتارا
دوسرا مصرع
نا گہاں صحن چمن میں، مجمع سرو و سمن میں، جیسے ہو روح بدن میں، جیسے ہو شمع لگن میں،جیسے خورشید کرن میں، ماہ پرویں وپرن میں... دیکھا اک دل بر رعنا، وطرحدار جفا کار، دل آزارنمودار، نگہ ہمسر شمشیر، مژہ ترکش پر تیر، سر زلف گرہ گیر، دل خلق کی زنجیر، جبیں نور کی تصویر، وہ رخ شمس کی تنویر، زباں شہد بیاں شیر، نظر روح کی اکسیر... دہن غنچہء خاموش، سمن برگ بر دوش، سخن بحر گہر جوش، بدن سرو قبا پوش، چھڑی گل کی ہم آغوش، وفا رحم فراموش، ہر اک آن ستم کوش... عجب حسن دل آرا، نہ کبھی مہر نے دیکھا، نہ کبھی ماہ نے دیکھا، نہ کسی فہم میں آیا، نہ تصور میں سمایا، وہ نظر مجھ کو جو آیا، مجھے حسن اپنا دکھایا، دل نے اک جوش اٹھایا،جی نے سب ہوش اڑایا، سر کو پاؤں پہ جھکایا، اشک آنکھوں سے بہایا، اس نے جب یوں مجھے پایا، یہ سخن ہنس کے سنایا، کہ تو ہے عاشق شیدا، لیکن عاشق نہیں پیدا، ہووے تجھ پریہ ہویدا... کہ اگر ہم کو تو چاہے یا محبت کو نباہے، نہ کبھی غم سے کراہے، نہ کسی غیر کو چاہےنہ کبھی گل کی طرف دیکھ، نہ سنبل کی طرف دیکھ، نہ بلبل کی طرف دیکھ... نہ بستاں پہ نظر کر، نہ گلستاں میں گذر کر، چھوڑدے سب کی مودت، ہم سے رکھ دل کی محبت،ایسے میں ہم بھی تجھے چاہیں، تجھ سے الفت کو نباہیں، ہیں یہی چاہ کی راہیں، گر یہ مقدور تجھے ہو، اور یہ منظور تجھے ہو، تو نظیر آج سے تو چاہنے والا ہے ہمارا

Saturday, November 25, 2017

Apa Shamim ki aik baat

Zindagi main kisi ki kahi - koi choti si baat saari zindagi sahara deti rehti hai

Ye 2005 ki baat thi - Khala ka Pakistan se phone aaya ke baRi pareshan hun, milne aa jao. Unke bete ki tabiyat zaroorat se zyada kharab rehne lagi thi aur ab to rozana hi mirgi ke dore paRte the. Koi dawaii kaam nahi kar rahi thi. Doctors keh rahe the ab aakhri harba dimag ki surgery reh gai hai. Main Pakistan chala gaya. Pehli subah khala se milne pauncha toh khala peeche dewRi main khare ilaqe ke khusre (apa shamim)  se batain ker rahi thi. 

Apa Shamim se meri purani shanashi thi. Jab tak Pakistan main raha, aur jab khala ke ghar jata,  ghanto baith ke apa shamim se batain kerta - woh mujhe Pakistan main transgenders ki zindagi se wabasta nai nai kahaniaN sunati. Unke masail batati. Mere liye woh aik nai duniya thi. Apa shamim mujhe dekh kar bari khush hui, sir pe haath phera, bari duwain di. Phir khala ko dekh kar kaha:

"Achha bibi ab chalti hun. Tum pareshan na ho. Kaun jaane ye zindagi, kisi dusri zindagi ka bas aik khawab hi ho".

Apa shamim chali gai -  magar un ki yeh baat yaad reh gai. Ab bhi zindagi main koi pareshani aati hai to Aap shamim ka jumla sahara ban jaata hai - Apa shamim aaj bhi hayat hain. Ghar wale batate hain ab bhi yaad kerti hain - Sochta hun ke is se pehle ye khawab jesi zindagi tamam ho, aik baar apa shamim se mil aun.

(My cousin Nasru (here) died few months later. His death was a huge jolt to me as it left a guilt that I was unable to pursue him and his family for neurosurgery. My father was very attached to him and firmly believed that his soul frequented our home as he probably committed suicide and those souls stay around - as he always seek refuge in our house if ever disturbed. God bless all souls)

Thursday, November 23, 2017

Fractured souls

 I have seen three versions of the classic of Agatha Christie's "Murder on the Orient Express" and I believe the new release is the best so far.

I don't think all of these quotes are originally present in the book. Some are added in the movie by the script writers. (My favourites from the movie). Last four are original for sure.

 “Wine is where the devil finds his darlings.”

“To a man with only a hammer every problem is a nail.”

 “Crime is an anomaly. Murder is a fracture of the soul.”

 “The scales of justice cannot always be equally weighed.”

“Because it’s how connected we are as human beings, how one horrific event affects many lives.”

"poison of deep grief.”

“I am not one to rely upon the expert procedure. It is the psychology I seek, not the fingerprint or the cigarette ash.”

“The happiness of one man and one woman is the greatest thing in all the world.”

“If you confront anyone who has lied with the truth, he will usually admit it - often out of sheer surprise. It is only necessary to guess right to produce your effect.”

“But I know human nature, my friend, and I tell you that, suddenly confronted with the possibility of being tried for murder, the most innocent person will lose his head and do the most absurd things.”

Trailer here 

Saturday, November 18, 2017

Muhabbat ki galat fehmi

Insaan baRa naadan hai - woh aksar apne piyar ki shiddat se hi apne piyare (loved one) ko nuqsan pauncha raha hota hai - aur woh is gumaan main rehta hai - ke - us ke piyar ki shiddat aik achha jazba hai

Saturday, November 11, 2017

Dr. Jamal ki kahani - Dusra rukh

Koi 6 ya 7 saal pehle main ne apne aik senior, teacher aur bare bhai jese fard 'Dr. Jamal' ki kahani likhi thi (here).

Dr. Jamal kuch arsa pehle intaqal ker gaye. (RIP - ILLWIIR)

Mujhe is baat ka ilm - yani kahani ke dusre rukh ka ilm - un se aakhri mulaqat per huwa - jub woh ICU main admit the. Bohat arse se mujh per ye ikhlaqi farz qarz tha ke unki taraf se bayan ki gai kahani bhi yahan likhun. Merne se 3 din pehle, main un se milne ICU gaya. Un ki kahani un ki zabani suniye

"Saari duniya mujhe juwari samjhti hai - aur theek hi samjhti hai. Tum ise meri "misjudgement" kaho, befawoofi kaho ya kuch aur magar huwa yun - mujhe Pakistan main is baat ka ilm huwa ke Hepatitis C ki wajah se mujeh cirrhosis ho gayi hai. Ye baat main ne sab se chupa ke rakhi. Meri 2 betiyan abhi choti thi. Biwi bachhoN ke ilawa kai aur rishtedaaron ka bojh mujh pe tha. Halanke doctor hone ki wajah se meri aamdni theek thaak thi - magar mujhe andaza ho chala tha ke mai bohat arse zinda nahi rahun ga. --- aese main kisi ne juwe ka raasta dikhaya. Shuru shuru main jitna shuru kiya. Main ne socha marne se pehle itne paise jama ker lun ke biwi bachhon ko mere marne ke baad koi takleef na ho. Magar tum jaante ho. Pakistan se kese bhagna paRa.

Jab America aa ker set ho chuka to aik din mujhe khun ki ulti hui. Andaza huwa ke ab 'esophageal varices' apna kaam dikha rahi hai. Juwa kehlne ka kuch experience tha - yahi soch ke casino jana shuru ker diye.

Kai logoN ke qarz baqi hain mujh per. Kai logon ki bad-duain liye betha hun - magar dimag main yahi aik baat thi ke mere peeche biwi bachhon ko takleef na ho. Liver transplant ke liye reject ho chuka hun. Mujeh maalum hai, bachna mushkil hai. Ab Allah hi hisab kare ga".

Main kuch der unke paas betha. Unke doctors, nurses wagerah se baat ki - wapas chala aaya

3 din baad unko heart attack hua - magar bach na sake - Yun Dr. Jamal ki kahani khatam hui.

Allah unki magfarat kare.

Har kahani ka aik dusra rukh hota hai - hum kaun hote hain faisla kerne wale.

Wednesday, November 08, 2017

On "Friends"

My son asked me: "How to differentiate between a friend and just an acquaintance?"

My reply was: "Any person who goes out of his way, schedule and routine to do something for you is your friend. If someone is willing to spare time for you - and as time is the most precious commodity of any human's possessions -  a person is actually giving a part of his life for your sake. He is your valuable friend. All others are just in 'working relationship' with you."

Whenever and wherever there is a discussion on friendship, I can't stop myself from thinking of Hazrat Ali's quote. "Bad-naseeb hai woh shaks jise achhe dost na milain - magar us se bhi ziyada bad-naseeb hai woh shaks jo achhe doston ko kho de".

Monday, November 06, 2017

On 'Sharp Dressing'

(You may find following post very superficial - but hey! we all have to deal with it).

Alike and typically hailing from a lower middle class of a third world country, almost all my life I carried the flaw of 'not having a good sense of sharp dressing'. I was  well aware of my flaw of not understanding the difference between 'branded products' and regular wear stuff. Never understood the difference between untucked shirt and tucked-in shirt. Always wondered about right shoulder width/length of a men's suit. I had my own share of moments of embarrassment in gatherings. And list goes on with shoes, jeans, sweaters, jackets, perfumes, hair style/gels etc etc. 

- But I never let this to take over my sanity, psych and life. Actually, many times I rudely ignored some advices from friends/cousins even if they were appropriate and right.

All said above, as I grew in my profession, I had to learn right and proper dressing for different occasions. And eventually I had to concur with many of my GQ friend's opinion that 'sharp dressing keep your brain sharp and optimist'. And right or wrong, you may have to give some importance to the myth or social notion that - if person is a shabby dresser, he may also be shabby in his relationships and life goals! (Personally, I think this is a very heavy handed  statement).

Disclaimer: I am neither a metrosexual nor desired to be.

Friday, November 03, 2017

The Rabbit Hole of Red Pill

"It's a term made famous by 'The Matrix,' but almost two decades after the movie's release, 'Red Pill' has been co-opted by internet communities who think everything they've been told about society -- gender, race, politics -- is a lie."

This is one article - showing the dark side of internet/technology - that how it is screwing up many minds! The video and the content in the article may be graphic for some just as like picture below but required to send the full gist of article.

Link to article : Divided We Code   (

Wednesday, November 01, 2017

Kabhi (abhi) hum Khubsurat the (hain)

If you have grown up in 80s of Pakistan, you may know the song: Kabhi hum khubsurat the. It was written by Ahmad Shamim (here), and became a part of Pakistan's culture after rendered for a TV serial, teesrah kinara (Must be around 1976-78 as I was still in school)  by Nayyara Noor. Central theme of drama was taken from Russian-American novelist Ayn Rand’s novel ‘Fountainhead’. (It is said that writing this novel over period of seven years left her insomniac and somewhat psycho?). It was a very literate attempt on PTV part and required literate person like Rahat Kazmi (and his wife Saira Kazmi) to do the project.

Ahmad Faraz wrote a similarly beautiful reply to Ahmad Shamim.

Youtube link:

"ابھی ہم خوبصورت ہیں"
کلام : احمد فراز
ابھی ہم خوبصورت ہیں
ہمارے جسم اوراقِ خزانی ہو گئے ہیں
اور ردائیں زخم سے آراستہ ہیں
پھر بھی دیکھو تو
ہماری خوشنمائی پر کوئی حرف
اور کشیدہ قامتی میں خم نہیں آیا
ہمارے ہونٹ زہریلی رُتوں سے کاسنی ہیں
اور چہرے رتجگوں کی شعلگی سے
آبنوسی ہو چکے ہیں
اور زخمی خواب
نادیدہ جزیروں کی زمیں پر
اس طرح بکھرے پڑے ہیں
جس طرح طوفاں زدہ کشتی کے ٹکڑوں کو
سمندر ساحلوں پر پھینک دیتا ہے
لہو کی بارشیں
یا خودکشی کی خواہشیں تھیں
اس اذیت کے سفر میں
کون سا موسم نہیں آیا
مگر آنکھوں میں نم
لہجے میں سم
ہونٹوں پہ کوئی نغمۂ ماتم نہیں آیا
ابھی تک دل ہمارے
خندۂ طفلاں کی صورت بے کدورت ہیں
ابھی ہم خوبصورت ہیں
زمانے ہو گئے
ہم کوئے جاناں چھوڑ آئے تھے
مگر اب بھی
بہت سے آشنا نا آشنا ہمدم
اور ان کی یاد کے مانوس قاصد
اور ان کی چاہتوں کے ہجر نامے
دور دیسوں سے ہماری اور آتے ہیں
گلابی موسموں کی دُھوپ
جب نو رُستہ سبزے پر قدم رکھتی ہوئی
معمورۂ تن میں در آتی ہے
تو برفانی بدن میں
جوئے خوں آہستگی سے گنگناتی ہے
اُداسی کا پرندہ
چپ کے جنگل میں
سرِ شاخِ نہالِ غم چہکتا ہے
کوئی بھولا ہوا بِسرا ہوا دکھ
آبلہ بن کر تپکتا ہے
تو یوں لگتا ہے
جیسے حرف اپنے
زندہ آوازوں کی صورت ہیں
ابھی ہم خوبصورت ہیں
ہماری خوشنمائی رفِ حق کی رونمائی ہے
اسی خاطر تو ہم آشفتہ جاں
عشّاق کی یادوں میں رہتے ہیں
کہ جہ اُن پر گزرتی ہے وہ کہتے ہیں
ہماری حرف سازی
اب بھی محبوبِ جاں ہے
شاعری شوریدگانِ عشق کے وردِ زباں ہے
اور گلابوں کی طرح شاداب چہرے
لعل و مرجاں کی طرح لب
صندلیں ہاتھوں سے
چاہت اور عقیدت کی بیاضوں پر
ہمارے نام لکھتے ہیں
سبھی درد نا آشنا
ایثار مشرب
ہم نفس اہلِ قفس
جب مقتلوں کی سمت جاتے ہیں
ہمارے بیت گاتے ہیں
ابھی تک ناز کرتے ہیں
سب اہلِ قافلہ
اپنے حدی خوانوں پر آشفتہ کلاموں پر
ابھی ہم دستخط کرتے ہیں اپنے قتل ناموں پر
ابھی ہم آسمانوں کی امانت
اور زمینوں کی ضرورت ہیں
ابھی ہم خوبصورت ہیں

Monday, October 30, 2017

Two contrasting views on work ethics

When we were growing up back home as well as while in residency here, it was strongly infused in us that loyalty to your work place is a remarkable work value. We were taught to grow up with institution, develop deep roots at work place, and it would be ideal to stay life long at one work place/institution.

But as lot of things are changing around us - as bookstores shutting down and e-books are taking their place, cabs have been taken over by an app (uber), hotels are threatened by Airbnb, and several other examples - I have seen a shift in work ethics and human behaviors too.

In the beginning I was taken aback, but I guess, I am accepting it as another opinion rather than an unethical value. Particularly, since tech industry has become main stream, staying at workplace for many many years is not seen as a virtue, rather a weakness. If you are staying more than 4/5 years at one company, you are a dinosaur who can't evolve! If you have worked in three companies over 7/8 years, you may be more valuable as you know how to cash your worth as well as your ability to work in changing/different environments. Company may see you as an adaptable and a courageous 'employee' (just another employee! Ha!!). You may be seen as a person who knows how to negotiate.

Don't feel shocked. I did! but I learned: Right or wrong - this is the reality of today's corporate world.

Saturday, October 28, 2017

Pareshani, Beech raat aur Dua

Zindagi ke aik muqaam per main bohat pareshan tha. Ye meri har 'teenager' ki tarah confusion ke din the.

Aik din dadi ne poocha: "Beta! dekhti hun, tum aaj kal bohat pareshan rehte ho. Sab theek hai?"

Main ne kha: "Dadi! baRi pareshani hai, aadhi aadhi raat ko aankh khul jaati hai. Kiya karun?"

Dadi jahandida thiN. Unhon ne ye nahi poocha ke kiya pareshani hai, bulke kaha: "Dekho beta! agar pareshani se aadhi raat ke beech aankh khul jaaye to beshak pareshani sadiq hai. Aese main apne dil main dua maango -  qarar bhi aa jaaye ga - aur woh zaroor qabool bhi ho gi"

Dadi ka diya nuskha ba-asar tha. Beshak aadhi raat ko pareshani se aank khuli to - us halat main maangi dua se dil ko qarar aa gaya - aur shayed woh qabool bhi hui.

Ab umar ka aik hissa guzarne ke baad bhi koi aesi pareshani la-haq ho - jis pe mera iktiyaar na ho - aur raat ke peechle pahr meri aankh khul jaaye  - to dil main maangi dua se qarar sa aa jaata hai - aur shayed woh qabool bhi ho jaati hai

 - pata nahi ye us lamhe utarti comos waves ka karishma hai - ya dukhte,sachhe dil ki vibration!!

Monday, October 23, 2017

A Urdu writeup

From Shamshi Zia

وہ جب جب ملنے آتی تھی۔۔۔۔
کچھ نہ کچھ بھول کے جاتی تھی۔۔۔۔
میرا کمرا بھرا پڑا اسکی چھوٹی چھوٹی چیزوں سے۔۔۔۔::
یہ ہیئر پنز، بال بندھے تو سزا لگتا تھا اسے۔۔۔۔۔۔۔
یہ انگوٹھی، میں نے کہا تھا کہ۔۔۔۔۔
کیسی بھدی سی ہے، تو یہیں رکھ چھوڑی۔۔۔۔۔۔۔
یہ اوپر سے چبائی پنسل، بھوکی کہیں کی۔۔۔۔۔۔
یہ چھوٹی سی نوٹ بک، بڑے بڑے خواب لکھتی تھی اس میں۔۔۔۔۔۔
یہ ٹوٹی ہوئی چوڑیاں، مجھے مارنے کو اٹھی تھی اور دیوار میں جا لگی۔۔۔۔۔
کیسے بچوں کی طرح پھوٹ پھوٹ کے روئی تھی، توبہ۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔
یہ بانو قدسیہ کا ناول، آدھا پڑھا اور یہاں چھوڑ دیا۔۔۔۔۔۔
اور یہ برسوں پرانی جیکٹ، جانے کیا اچھا لگتا تھا اس میں اسے۔۔۔۔۔۔۔
سانس نہیں لیتی تھی اسکے بغیر۔۔۔۔
اب دیکھو پچھلی سردیوں سے یہیں دھری ہے۔۔۔۔۔۔
پھر یوں ہوا بہت مدت نہیں آئی وہ مجھ سے ملنے۔۔۔۔۔۔
کیسا سناٹا رہا کرتا تھا ان دنوں اس کمرے میں۔۔۔۔۔۔۔
آج آ رہی ہے ملنے مجھ سے، کہتی تھی۔۔۔۔۔
آخری الوداع ضروری ہے۔۔۔۔۔
میں نے بھی کہہ دیا اب کچھ بھول کے مت جانا۔۔۔۔۔۔۔
آئی، کچھ دیر رکی، نہ کوئی بات، نہ چیت۔۔۔۔۔۔۔
چپکے چپکے روتی رہی اور پھر چلی گئی۔۔۔۔۔۔۔
اور یہ دیکھو، پانی کے گلاس پہ چھوڑ دیئے نا اس نے لپ سٹک کے نشان۔۔۔۔۔۔۔
ارے پاگل، میری جان۔۔۔۔۔۔
تو جہاں کہیں بھی رہے لیکن
تھوڑی سی تُو۔۔۔۔۔۔۔
میرے کمرے میں رہتی ہے۔۔۔۔۔۔.

Sunday, October 22, 2017

On men's 'an' years (?myth)

Growing up one of my uncle, used to narrate this myth often
- and interestingly he died in his "an" age too.

(kiya hamari maut ki bazgasht hamari paidaish ke saath hi hamari genes mein likh di jaati hai?)

In certain parts of India, there is a myth that for Men, eight years of "an" are the hardest on him like ikkawan(51), bawan(52), treppan(53), chawwan(54), pachpan(55), chappan(56), sattawan(57) and atthawan(58) - and many can't survive those eight years.

Being a physician, I spoke to many elderly people, and most confess that indeed these were the most stressful time for them. I believe this is due to the fact that men tends to be very egoist.

(mard ki anaa hi us ka sab se mazboot hathyaar, aur us ka sab se kamzor pehlu hai)

It is very hard on men as he travels towards oldhood, and psychologically can't accept himself getting weak and frail, and this is probably one of the reason of his hard hit mid life crisis, popularly known as andropause.

 I guess at some extent it is true for women also with her menopause, but I guess women are more accepting and tend to find solace in people around her.


Saturday, October 21, 2017

Ninth Path (A letter)

I need to confess that I have read many letters in urdu and english literature including master of "Khatoot Nawisi', Mirza Ghalib. But, this one letter literally took my breath away.

Lately, I am more than usual busy in work but thanks to some of my friends who continue to send me literary pieces to keep my soul alive.

Following letter was written by Hunter S. Thompson at the mere age of 20 years. (link to full letter is below the post)

"Dear Hume,

You ask advice: ah, what a very human and very dangerous thing to do! For to give advice to a man who asks what to do with his life implies something very close to egomania. To presume to point a man to the right and ultimate goal—to point with a trembling finger in the RIGHT direction is something only a fool would take upon himself.

I am not a fool, but I respect your sincerity in asking my advice. I ask you though, in listening to what I say, to remember that all advice can only be a product of the man who gives it. What is truth to one may be disaster to another. I do not see life through your eyes, nor you through mine. If I were to attempt to give you specific advice, it would be too much like the blind leading the blind.

"To be, or not to be: that is the question: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles... " 


And indeed, that IS the question: whether to float with the tide, or to swim for a goal. It is a choice we must all make consciously or unconsciously at one time in our lives. So few people understand this! Think of any decision you've ever made which had a bearing on your future: I may be wrong, but I don't see how it could have been anything but a choice however indirect—between the two things I've mentioned: the floating or the swimming.

But why not float if you have no goal? That is another question. It is unquestionably better to enjoy the floating than to swim in uncertainty. So how does a man find a goal? Not a castle in the stars, but a real and tangible thing. How can a man be sure he's not after the "big rock candy mountain," the enticing sugar-candy goal that has little taste and no substance? 

The answer—and, in a sense, the tragedy of life—is that we seek to understand the goal and not the man. We set up a goal which demands of us certain things: and we do these things. We adjust to the demands of a concept which CANNOT be valid. When you were young, let us say that you wanted to be a fireman. I feel reasonably safe in saying that you no longer want to be a fireman. Why? Because your perspective has changed. It's not the fireman who has changed, but you. Every man is the sum total of his reactions to experience. As your experiences differ and multiply, you become a different man, and hence your perspective changes. This goes on and on. Every reaction is a learning process; every significant experience alters your perspective.

So it would seem foolish, would it not, to adjust our lives to the demands of a goal we see from a different angle every day? How could we ever hope to accomplish anything other than galloping neurosis? 


But don't misunderstand me. I don't mean that we can't BE firemen, bankers, or doctors—but that we must make the goal conform to the individual, rather than make the individual conform to the goal. In every man, heredity and environment have combined to produce a creature of certain abilities and desires—including a deeply ingrained need to function in such a way that his life will be MEANINGFUL. A man has to BE something; he has to matter.


Let's assume that you think you have a choice of eight paths to follow (all pre-defined paths, of course). And let's assume that you can't see any real purpose in any of the eight. THEN—and here is the essence of all I've said—you MUST FIND A NINTH PATH.

Naturally, it isn't as easy as it sounds. You've lived a relatively narrow life, a vertical rather than a horizontal existence. So it isn't any too difficult to understand why you seem to feel the way you do. But a man who procrastinates in his CHOOSING will inevitably have his choice made for him by circumstance. 

So if you now number yourself among the disenchanted, then you have no choice but to accept things as they are, or to seriously seek something else. But beware of looking for goals: look for a way of life. Decide how you want to live and then see what you can do to make a living WITHIN that way of life. But you say, "I don't know where to look; I don't know what to look for."

And there's the crux. Is it worth giving up what I have to look for something better? I don't know—is it? Who can make that decision but you? But even by DECIDING TO LOOK, you go a long way toward making the choice.


And that's it for now. Until I hear from you again, I remain,

your friend ...

Link here

Friday, October 20, 2017

A quote

You act like mortals in all that you fear, and like immortals in all that you desire. 

as said by great roman Seneca

Thursday, October 19, 2017

Wapas na aane wale naraz log

(aik conversation)

"Agar koi zindagi se naraz ho kar chala jaaye, aur wapas na aye  - kabhi mulaqat na ho - to kaise pata chale ke woh ab bhi naraz hai ya nahi?"

"Jab ruthne wale khud nahi mil sakte to - kabhi kahin saloN ya mahino main - khawab main aa ker - apni muskurahat bikhar jaate hain. Aisa ho to samjho ab woh naraz nahi".


"bilkul sach"!