Helping while people are alive

 

Reflection on the Psychology of C***old Fantasy

 The following post is highly rated - You are free to ignore it.

It has been a long time since I stopped hanging out with friends at bars for happy hours. Last weekend, I was for a 'boys night out'. As Saadat Hasan Manto said:

Our conversation moved to sexual kinks, adventures, and fantasies. We were all shocked when one of the friends acknowledged his cuckold fantasy. He is a huge 6'2 guy with heavy muscles, and we have heard of a long list of girls having a crush on him. That's how he explained:

I’ve spent a long time trying to understand why the cuckold dynamic pulls at me the way it does, and what it’s actually trying to resolve inside me. It’s easy for people to write it off as humiliation or insecurity, but that’s surface-level thinking. The reality is more layered, more personal, and honestly, more revealing than anyone wants to admit.

For me, the core of it isn’t about another man at all.

It’s about confronting the parts of myself I don’t show openly — desire, vulnerability, jealousy, ego, devotion, fear, trust — all in one place. Strangely, the fantasy becomes a mirror. It reflects back things I’ve pushed down, ignored, or never had the space to acknowledge. Part of me wants to feel undone a little, like I’m peeling away the performance of masculinity I’ve worn for years. Another part wants to test myself, to stand in the middle of emotions most people won’t even let themselves name. The jealousy, the surrender, the intensity of wanting someone so much that I’m willing to feel uncomfortable — that says more about me than the fantasy itself.

And there’s the truth nobody talks about: It makes me confront my values. Not in a way that diminishes me, but in a way that forces me to separate worth from control. It pushes me to ask:

Do I love for possession or for connection?
Is my desire rooted in ego or in vulnerability?
Can I handle seeing my partner fully chosen by someone else, even if just in my mind?
What happens to me emotionally when I’m no longer the center?

There’s a strange kind of honesty in facing those questions. A peculiar kind of freedom, too. And deep down, I think the fantasy attempts to resolve one central tension inside me: I want to love without holding on so tightly that I crush the thing I’m trying to keep. It’s not about watching. It’s about facing who I am when I’m stripped of control, ego, and assumption. That’s the part that hits hardest. That’s the part the fetish is trying to reach. And maybe… resolve.

Wow! Loved this!

 

True Friends

 

Human psychology on life and death

 

Blessings!

 

Carl Sagan on Government's responsibilities and societies

 

Rekha and her Urdu

 

Theaters

 Netflix didn't kill movie theaters. $25 popcorn did, and $12 soda did. (Read on Facebook)

I used to be a movie junkie. Get tired of their manipulations..

Plague

I love the videos from this talented man, named Varun Grover

 

Why do I blog

 In 2006, an English teacher asked her high school students to write letters to famous authors. Only one replied: Kurt Vonnegut, then 84 years old.

He could have just thanked them politely. Instead, he gave them one of the most powerful lessons of his life:

“Practice any art… no matter how well or badly. Not to get money or fame, but to experience becoming, to find out what’s inside you, to make your soul grow.”

He urged them to dance, sing, draw, make faces in mashed potatoes—anything that brought life alive. Then he gave them an assignment: write a six-line poem, make it as good as possible, and then tear it up. The reward, he explained, was not in showing it to anyone, but in having created it at all.

Vonnegut died the following year, but his message remains timeless: the value of art is not in recognition, but in the simple, joyful act of making something—for your soul.

An alternate view on health and wealth

(A text from a friend: though not entirely agree, but makes sense up to a certain level)

I believe that the old saying "health is wealth" exists mainly to keep the less fortunate content with their circumstances. I argue the opposite, that wealth is health. With wealth comes the means to live a longer, more fulfilling life, which is why people in North America, Europe, Japan, Denmark, and Australia enjoy greater longevity and well-being.

An African Proverb

 If you see a rat dancing in front of a cat, know that there's a hole nearby.

African proverb

Darde Dil

“عبادت فرشتہ تو بنا سکتی ہے، لیکن انسان نہیں بنا سکتی۔انسان تو درد سے بنتا ہے

”۔واصف علی واصف 

Dog's love

 Having a dog as a pet has been universal among humans for ages. This is probably due to the unconditional love dogs show.

Last week, one of my colleagues' dogs died. Someone offered an interesting console.

"It is said that 7 years of a human life is equivalent to one year of a dog's life. This is because dogs have 7 times as much love in their hearts as humans. Humans need seven times as many dogs as a pet to understand one dog's love! If your dog has died, let's get another dog so you continue to appreciate the beauty of love; dogs are trying to teach us."

One marker of raising good kids

 I think this is an interesting perspective on raising good children, particularly in the Western world.

"If your child calls, texts, or reaches out to his grandparents - without your advice - to convey happy birthday or congratulations or any other sentiments - be assured you have raised a good kid."

One Sane Advice

اچھی سگریٹ پیئں، خاموشی کو اپنائیں، مولویوں کے باتوں میں نہ آئیں۔ اچھا سا میوزک سنئیے، لوگوں کو سنجیدگی سے نہ لیں،

 اپنے جذبات کو بڑھا چڑھا کر پیش نہ کریں، پرسکون رہیں۔

اگر کسی کا کوا سفید ہے تو اسے سفید ہی رہنے دیں کالا ثابت کرنے کی کوشش نہ کریں، اگر کوئی یہ تسلیم کرچکا ھے کہ ہاتھی درخت پر بیٹھا ہے تو اس کے ہاتھی کو نیچے اتارنے میں اپنا وقت، جذبات اور اپنے الفاظ ضائع نہ کریں۔

اپنی مرضی کے خلاف کسی کو خوش نہ کریں، آپ کی ایک ہی زندگی ہے جو بہت قیمتی ہے اسے سستے لوگوں کے لیے ضائع نہ کریں۔

اپنے آپ کو خوش رکھیں، اپنا خیال رکھیں، آپ خود کے لیے بہت ضروری ہیں، اپنے آپ کے لیے خود کو بہت اہم رکھیں، اپنی پہلی ترجیح اپنا آپ رکھیں اور آزادانہ زندگی گزاریں۔ 

A beautiful Shyr

مجھے رکھ گرفت فریب میں

تیرا جھوٹ بھی مجھے راس ہے

'Disappointing’ those closest to us

Charlie Sheen is getting candid about the turning point that led to his sobriety and the moment he knew he had to change. The actor, once known for his heavy drug and alcohol use, has been sober nearly eight years. After years of addiction and public turmoil, Sheen said he got sober after realizing the impact his lifestyle was having on both his health and those around him. 

In recent years, he’s spoken about the shame he associates with those years of his life and about turning his life around since getting sober in 2017. A large part of that, he said, was rebuilding relationships with those closest to him. 

 "I didn’t feel that I was available to the people that count on me the most and available in a way that they came to rely on, but then had to make adjustments based on my choices," he said.

Full Link:

https://www.foxnews.com/media/charlie-sheen-gets-brutally-honest-about-moment-he-got-sober-after-disappointing-those-closest-him 

The death of Art!