Love and Responsibilty

When it comes to taking care of people, loved ones, things, or any other stuff in life: it requires both love and a sense of responsibility. Ideally, they should be proportionate, but I will put responsibility above love if the situation comes.

A mistake of all generations

 Every generation has made the same mistake. They try to see their forefathers' lives with present-day values. It's all contemporary.

Dilkash Aurat

 (A conversation)

"Tum jaante ho sab se ziyada dilkash aurat kaunsi hoti hai?"

"Jo shadi ke baad nikharti hai"

Life after night...

(remarked by a friend on our discussion on prostitution)

"Zaindagi ki asal surat dekhna chahte ho to - raat ki agli subah - aa ker woh gali, makaan aur us ke makeeN dekho jo bazzare husn main raat dhalne ke baad aati hai"

Life

One of my uncles died last week. He was 92 years old. We made him hospice and let him go peacefully in his bed. One of my cousins said something, which makes sense:

"He lived with grace and died with dignity. Nothing else matters in life".

So true!

Seeker and doubts

 

The Road Not Taken

 What a remarkable poem by Frost. I am constantly encouraging my kids to go far for work, travel unseen places, and spent time in uncomfortable zones. I guess, this what makes all the difference.

  

The Road Not Taken - Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

Dilip Sahab

 It's not only Dilip Kumar who died. I think Bollywood died.

If you ever get the chance, watch his dialogue in the movie Devdas: "Kaun Kambakht hai jo bardasht krne ke liye peeta hai" - and right after watch SRK or any other actor delivering that dialogue - you will know the whole difference.

What a unique man he was - one of the finest human beings sub-continent produced. He aligned literature, human emotions, and expressions so effortlessly.

RIP

On Dressing

 

The bright side of pessimism

 

From the sharp pen of Majeed Lahori

عہدہ و منصب دلا جمہوریت کے نام پر

تخت پر مجھ کو بٹھا جمہوریت کے نام پر

’آیت الکرسی‘ کا کرتا ہوں وظیفہ رات دن

بخش کرسی اے خدا جمہوریت کے نام پر

فاقہ کش لٹتے رہیں، پِٹتے رہیں، مٹتے رہیں

مجھ کو ڈکٹیٹر بنا جمہوریت کے نام پر

بھولی بھالی قوم کوئی اور مل سکتی نہیں

قوم کو الّو بنا جمہوریت کے نام پر

Two philosophies of life

 I have two extreme of friends, and not sure which one is on the right philosophy.

One is like my friend KT - who we popularly call - Abu dada. He is a strict dieter and an exercise freak. He has not eaten rice in two years, walks two miles every day besides an hour in Gym. My this group of friend takes life very seriously and believes healthy body leads to a healthy mind. Most of them are intellectuals or at least pseudo-intellectuals.

The second is like Sohail and Abhijeet. They love food. They don't care about weight gain. One has two stents in his heart and the second travel exclusively for the sake of good food.  Both have a wobbly belly. They believe it does not matter, you live 50 years or 100 years. Die early but enjoy fully.

I, personally and periodically oscillate between two philosophies. 

A second chance to say Good bye

 I don't want to make it dramatic, but this is an interesting article today on CNN. This is not the first time, this is talked about, but this may be interesting in wake of the COVID pandemic.

"And whenever there is a massive tragedy such as a pandemic, a war or a natural disaster, there is a corresponding surge in reports of people seeing the dead or trying to contact them. The 1918 influenza epidemic sparked a "spiritualism craze" as Americans turned to seances and Ouija boards to contact departed loved ones. After the 9/11 terrorist attacks came a wave of people reporting sightings of and even conversations with those who had been snatched from their lives. When a tsunami struck Japan in 2011, killing at least 20,000 people, so many inhabitants of Ishinomaki reported seeing their loved ones appear that a book and a documentary were made about this city of wandering ghosts."

Article link: https://www.cnn.com/2021/06/20/health/supernatural-encounters-pandemic-loved-ones-blake/index.html

Doll

 One of my nephews has a 3 years old girl. They visited my place just for a couple of hours while they were in my city around eight months ago. The little girl left her doll at my home. Later that night, her mother called to inquire about the doll as the girl kept crying on the airplane. I got the baby girl on facetime and promised her that I would find her doll. .... I took it for granted - and completely forgot. We all forgot. 

A week ago I was visiting them. As soon as I entered the house, the first thing little girl asked: "Did you find my doll?"

At least to say I was ashamed, I was embarrassed, and I was apologetic.

When I flew back, the first thing I did, look for her doll. I found it. I FedEx it. She finally got her doll today :)

As someone said: "Every child you encounter is a divine appointment.”

companion

 

On Fear and Death

 

Under the Radar

 Jab "under the radar" hamari medical class main hamare saath admit hua to usko dekh ker hansi nikal jaati thi. Us ka qad 4 feet 10 inch tha aur jism bilkul patla dubla. Magar jald hi college main mashoor ho gaya. Agle 5 saal woh college ka pride performer raha. Us ne running aur swimming ke saare muqabloN main har level pe college ko gold medalist rakkha. 1988 main Olympic team main select ho gaya magar aakhri moqe per kisi "fauji gernel kernel" ke bhatije ko select ker ke is ko nikal diya gaya. Is waqiye ke kuch dino baad college ke 'tuk shop' pe betha mere saath chai pi raha that. Main ne poocha:

"Yaar Khairuddin, ye tera naam - under the radar - kese paR gaya?"

Us ne bataya: "Meri umar 8/9 baras thi. Aik din ghar pe bhai ne mere chote qad aur duble jism ka bohat mazaq uRaya. Main gusse main ghar se nikal ker bhaga -poori taqat se bhaga - aur paRos gaon main chacha ke ghar paunch gaya. Chacha mujhe dekh ke hairan huwe. Kehne lage: abhi tere baap ka phone aaya tha. Keh raha tha tu ghar se bhaga hai. Magar itni jaldi kese paunch gaya? Main ne bataya: Bohat gusse se race lagaii hai. Chacha fauj main the. Unhon ne meri training shuru ker di. Unhon ne hi ye naam rakha -kiunke sab mujeh darkinar samjhte aur main race jeet leta -. Athelet basis pe cadet college main admission huwa. Qad chota reh gaya. Aage na ja sakta tha. Medical college aa gaya. Bus ye naam kuch doston ke saath saath chal paRa. Pehle chote qad pe bohat rona aata tha. Phir saari energy runner aur swimmer bunne pe laga di".

Apni khaami ko khubi main badalne ka jo rang - under the radar - ne dikhaya, us ne saari zindagi mujhe guide kiya. Ab bhi Pakistan main hai. Pediatrician hota hai. Koi bata raha tha, sadre-Pakistan ne is saal koi qaumi aezaz bhi diya hai. Us ne duniya bhar ki marathon races main doR lagaii. 

Us se aakhri mulaqat 2017 main hui thi jub New York marathon doRne aaya tha. Mujhe us ne kaha tha: "Pediatrician to log samjhte hain. Asal main coach hun. Kamzor bachhon ko seekhata hun ke - zindagi ki race main - under the radar - hona khami nahi, khasoosiat (virtue) hai. Is ka khub faida uthao. Kisi obese bachhe ko wrestling pe, kisi dil ke mareez bachhe ko shatranj pe aur kisi duble bachhe ko 100 meters pe laga deta hun".

That one haunted house

It is said that (at least in the USA) a person lives in 11 houses in his lifetime. There is always a place - which haunts a human for the rest of his/her life.

As we five friends discussed the above scenario, all of them believed that it is probably true.

In my case, I have a place I lived for three years, well inside woods and mountains in the far land of Northwest USA (now feels like my previous life) - periodically still haunts me. Nothing happened while I lived there, but it is almost 25 years since I wake up with either a nightmare or "not a good feeling." It includes a feeling of drowning, fear, or evil personalities around.

One of my medical school friends, who stayed back in Pakistan and now practices surgery in Islamabad, lived at many places while his father was posted at various places as an army commando. He still periodically wakes up with nightmares and beaten-up feelings inside one house in the remote mountain of the afghan area. Interestingly, he wakes up with bruises all over his body. Multiple times, all blood workups, including coagulation profile, etc., etc., turned out to be completely normal.

(Interestingly, as I was writing this post, his text messages appeared on my phone)

Any thoughts? Anyone?

Life and it's colors

زندگی تصویر وی اے ، تے تقدیر وی اے

 من چاھے رَنگاں نال بن جائے ، تے تصویر

 تے اَن چاھے رنگاں نال بنے ، تاں تقدیر

 ”اَمرتا پریتم“

Life is a painting as well as a circumstance

If colors are of choice, its a portrait

If colors are of unlike, it's a fate

                                                           ~ Amrita Pritam

Saying NO

 Meri umar 17 ya 19 baras rahi hogi. Ilhaad (atheism) ke saare falsafe mere sir pe chaRh ke bol rahe the. Abbu ne raat poocha: "Kal Eid ki namaz pe saath chalo ge? ya khud jao ge?" Mera jawab tha: "sath."

Abbu fajar ke baad pehli jamat main namaz ada kerte. Meri wajah se 10 baje wali aakhri jamat tak ruk gaye. Abbu Nazimabad ke idgah maidan barsoN se jaate the, wahin purane doston se bhi mulaqat ker lete. Meri wajah se ye sab kuch miss kiya. Shayed unhe mere khayalat ka andaza tha. Chahte the ke main mazhab ki taraf raagib rahun.

9.00 baje main ne abbu se khaha: "Aap bhai ke saath chale jaayain. Main ne koi namaz wamaz nahi paRhni".

Abbu us waqt to chal diye magar sham unhoN ne aik baat kahi jo ab tak yaad hai. 

"Zindagi main musbat haan aur na bohat zaroori hai. Aaj to aesa nahi huwa magar aksar logon ki zindagiyan, khushiyan, zaroori plans hamari haan aor na se bante aur bigaRte hain. Na kehne main koi muzaiqa nahi magar us se bhi ziyada khatanaak cheez hai taal matol. Zindagi main musbat naa kehna sikh lo werna kai rishton se haat dho betho ge."

(It's important in life to say clear YES or NO. It didn't happen today but many times people's lives, happiness, major plans depend on our yes or no. There is no harm in saying NO but even more dangerous is to be ambiguous. Learn to say 'Absolute No' in life, otherwise, you may lose many relationships).