Gone with the wind

 

Oedipus Rex

 

Ego and Pattern

In the last few years, I attended a few commencement ceremonies for family kids who have since graduated. I always pay attention to the commencement speakers' experiences, though 80 percent of the time they were generic, redundant, or not very worthwhile; for example, I was very disappointed by Google's Sundar Pichai's commencement speech at Stanford.

A couple of pieces of advice I found interesting came from an optometrist at a local college's commencement. He gave two pragmatic tips.

1. Remember, you are now going to make your living as a responsible and decent citizen. Keep your ego in check. If you can do that, you will continue to find stability.

2. People will either trust or not trust your words depending on your consistent pattern. Be consistent, punctual, and true in your pattern.

2:155

(A tale as a friend visits over the long weekend)

Yahan bhi wahi huwa jo har jagah hota hai. Jab thoRe paise jama huwe to aas paas paise udhar maangne or 'investment offers' dene walon ka jhamgatta lag gaya.

Wese to koi 200, 400, 1000 ya 2000 le gaya aur na kabhi wapas kiye or no muR ke phone kiya. Na main ne kabhi aese chote nuqsan ki parwah ki

Magar 3 aese log, jin pe apni zaat se ziyada aitabar tha, bari 'raqam' hathya gaye. Main bohut kurtha tha. Aik raat isi tension mein raat 3 baje aankh khuli, be-dhiyani main phone uthaya. Tik tok ki pehli video ye qurani ayat thi. Pehle to hairan hua ke main to kabhi 'religious videos' scroll nahi kerta magar jab ayat pari to jawab mil gaya, sukoon aa gaya

"We will certainly test you with a touch of fear and famine and loss of property, life, and fruits. Give good news to those who patiently endure" (2:155)

Waham

 

The Brother Karamazov in 3 minutes

 

We should not be afraid of AI - rather embrace it

 

ode on a grecian urn

 

Arriving early!

 میرے ابو ہر تقریب، ہر جنازے اور ہر موقع پہ آدھا گھنٹہ پہلے پہنچ جاتے تھے.. ہم سمجھتے رہے ابا وقت کے بہت پابند ہیں ۔ لیکن حقیقت کچھ اور تھی 

میرے ابا کبھی دیر سے نہیں پہنچے۔

نہ کسی شادی میں۔

نہ کسی جنازے میں۔

نہ کسی ہسپتال میں۔

نہ کسی سکول کی تقریب میں۔

ہماری پوری زندگی میں ایک بات ہمیشہ یقینی رہی:

اگر تقریب پانچ بجے ہے تو ابا ساڑھے چار بجے وہاں موجود ہوں گے۔

ہم سب اُن کی اس عادت پر ہنستے تھے۔

امی کہا کرتی تھیں:

"تمہارے ابا نے شاید گھڑی بھی اپنے وقت کی الگ رکھی ہوئی ہوگی"..

ہم بھی یہی سمجھتے رہے کہ وہ بس ضرورت سے زیادہ وقت کے پابند ہیں۔

مگر پچھلے مہینے، جب میں اُنہیں ڈاکٹر کے پاس لے جا رہی تھی، نہ جانے کیوں میرے منہ سے نکل گیا:

"ابا، آپ ہر جگہ اتنی جلدی کیوں پہنچتے ہیں؟"

وہ خاموش ہو گئے۔

کافی دیر گاڑی کی کھڑکی سے باہر دیکھتے رہے۔

پھر آہستہ سے بولے:

"تمہیں واقعی جاننا ہے؟"

میں نے مسکرا کر کہا:

"جی۔"

انہوں نے ایک لمبی سانس لی۔

اور ایک ایسی بات بتائی جس نے میری پوری زندگی بدل دی۔

انہوں نے کہا:

"چالیس سال پہلے میں ایک نوکری کے انٹرویو کیلئے آدھا گھنٹہ پہلے پہنچ گیا تھا۔"

انتظار گاہ میں ایک اور آدمی بیٹھا تھا۔

بہت گھبرایا ہوا۔

بار بار اپنے ہاتھ رگڑ رہا تھا۔

بار بار پانی پی رہا تھا۔

ابا نے اُس سے بات شروع کر دی۔

موسم کی۔

عمارت کی۔

اور اُس عجیب سے پنکھے کی جو ہر پانچ منٹ بعد چرچراتا تھا۔

تھوڑی دیر بعد اُس آدمی کی گھبراہٹ کم ہو گئی۔

اُس کا نام پکارا گیا۔

وہ اندر چلا گیا۔

ابا بھی گئے۔

شام تک نتیجہ آ گیا۔

نوکری اُس آدمی کو مل گئی۔

ابا کو نہیں۔

میں نے پوچھا:

"پھر؟"

ابا مسکرائے۔

"گھر آتے ہوئے پہلی بار مجھے احساس ہوا کہ نوکری ملنے یا نہ ملنے سے زیادہ اہم ایک اور چیز تھی۔"

"وہ آدھا گھنٹہ۔"

میں خاموشی سے سنتی رہی۔

وہ بولتے گئے:

"بیٹا، اصل ضرورت تقریب کے بعد نہیں ہوتی۔"

"اصل ضرورت اُس سے پہلے ہوتی ہے۔"

"آپریشن سے پہلے۔"

"امتحان سے پہلے۔"

"جنازے سے پہلے۔"

"عدالت میں گواہی دینے سے پہلے۔"

"کسی مشکل گفتگو سے پہلے۔"

"اُس وقت انسان سب سے زیادہ تنہا ہوتا ہے۔"

"شاید کسی کو میری ضرورت ہو۔"

اچانک مجھے اپنی پوری زندگی یاد آنے لگی۔

دادی کے آپریشن سے پہلے ابا ہسپتال کے باہر کسی اجنبی کے ساتھ بیٹھے ہوئے تھے۔

محلے کے جنازوں میں وہ سب سے پہلے پہنچتے تھے۔

میرے سکول کے فنکشن میں بھی وہ ہمیشہ وقت سے پہلے موجود ہوتے تھے۔

میں سمجھتی تھی وہ بور ہو رہے ہوں گے۔

مگر حقیقت میں وہ کسی نہ کسی کے ساتھ بیٹھے ہوتے تھے۔

کسی پریشان باپ کے ساتھ۔

کسی گھبرائے ہوئے بچے کے ساتھ۔

کسی ایسی ماں کے ساتھ جس کا دل خوف سے بھر چکا ہوتا تھا۔

ابا بولتے رہے:

"آدھا گھنٹہ پہلے لوگ ابھی کردار ادا نہیں کر رہے ہوتے۔"

"اُس وقت وہ ویسے ہی ہوتے ہیں جیسے حقیقت میں ہوتے ہیں۔"

"اور اکثر انہیں صرف ایک انسان کی ضرورت ہوتی ہے جو اُن کے پاس بیٹھ جائے۔"

Kapil Dev

(Anil Sachdev)

 Yesterday I changed flights from Delhi to Chennai and was allotted a seat next to the great Kapil Dev.

I was going to Chennai for a workshop for a client and for the launch of my book!

He was going for the launch of Shyam Srinivasan ‘s book ‘Better Never Stops’ !

I listened to him for over two hours and this is what I am moved to share:

What struck me was not just his achievements, but the simplicity and wisdom of his life lessons.

Some insights that stayed with me:

• Passion gives life meaning.

Whether it was playing marbles as a child, flying kites, excelling in sports, playing cricket, taking up golf, or now helping set up hospitals, passion has been the driving force throughout his life.

“The day you no longer have passion for a cause, you are not truly alive.”

• Stay curious.

His habit of constantly asking questions helped him learn and also helped his coach learn. Curiosity creates growth for everyone involved.

• Wise people listen more than they speak.

Intelligent conversation is valuable, but wisdom often comes from listening deeply.

• Learning comes from meeting new people.

Every interaction is an opportunity to learn.

• You can learn from anyone.

Never underestimate the insights that can come from unexpected sources.

• Contentment is essential.

Success without contentment is an endless race.

• Seek balanced perspectives.

Do not dismiss people who disagree with you. Different viewpoints enrich our understanding.

• Leadership is about the team, not the ego.

As captain, he faced the media when the team lost, taking responsibility himself. When the team won, he put the players in front to receive the applause.

• Give your best, then move on.

Do not overstay your time in any role or cling to what once was.

• Never live in past glory.

Celebrate achievements, but keep looking ahead.

A masterclass in leadership, humility, and living with purpose.

He also shared how he requested the producer and Director of the movie on the 1983 World Cup win to talk to every member of the winning team to get their perspective- true team project!

They still meet twice a year!!

Values

 

Heart of Medicine

There is a reason this painting still works.

The doctor is not doing anything dramatic.

He is not performing a procedure.
He is not speaking.
He is not surrounded by machines.

He is watching.
Sitting in that uncomfortable space between uncertainty and responsibility.

That may be one of the oldest truths in medicine.
Before medicine was data-rich, it was attention-rich.

A physician noticed the small change.
The altered breathing.
The color that was not quite right.
The silence in the room.
The look on a family member’s face.

AI will change medicine in extraordinary ways.
I hope it does.

It may help us find information faster, recognize patterns earlier, draft notes more cleanly, and support decisions with more evidence than any one person could hold alone.

But medicine is not only a knowledge problem.
It is also a discipline of presence.

The question is not whether AI can help us think.
It can.

The deeper question is whether, as the tools get faster, we preserve the part of medicine that stays close enough to the human consequence to notice what still does not fit.

The room still matters.

So does the person willing to sit in it.

So True - as Joan Aliya said

 

Woman!

 

Love persists!

سچائ یہ ہے کے

 نا تو ظلیخا پر مرنے والا مر چکا اور نا ظلیخا کی بڑھتی عمر اور کمر میں کوئ کمی آئ 

Filling up the horizon of the minds of the masses

“Heavy physical work, the care of home and children, petty quarrels with neighbors, films, football, beer, and above all, gambling filled up the horizon of their minds. To keep them in control was not difficult…. All that was required of them was a primitive patriotism which could be appealed to whenever it was necessary to make them accept longer working hours or shorter rations. And when they become discontented, as they sometimes did, their discontentment led nowhere, because being without general ideas, they could only focus it on petty specific grievances.”

– George Orwell, Nineteen Eighty-Four 

Is this not the current reality that we are living every day

Crime and Punishment in 3 minutes!

 

On French etiquette of diet

(Stealing from a friend)

Today I had dinner at Entre Nous, a beautiful and classy French bistro. We were lucky to get a reservation, so I went in with a very clear and noble mission:

Grass-fed steak, French butter melting on top, and greens to my heart’s desire.

Of course, since I don’t drink alcohol, the waiter politely offered us French wine, especially Merlot. Very elegant. Very French. Very tempting for people who drink. We smiled and asked for our usual high-society beverage:

Diet Coke.

The waiter looked at us like we had asked him to microwave a croissant.

He said, very politely but firmly,

“We don’t serve Diet Coke.”

Then, before we could recover from this emotional trauma, the real French owner appeared. Heavy French accent. Serious face. Full culinary authority. The man looked like he had personally drafted the constitution of French food.

He said:

“Monsieur, we do not serve artificial drinks, chemicals, Diet Coke, or decaf drinks. Everything here must be natural. Whole milk. Real cheese. Real butter. Real ingredients. This is what I learned in France, and this is what I practice here.”

At that moment, I realized this was not just a restaurant.

This was a French nutritional courtroom, and Diet Coke had just been sentenced to life imprisonment.

No Diet Coke.

No decaf.

No fake cheese.

No chemical shortcuts.

No nonsense.

Only real food, real butter, real cream, real cheese, real coffee, and real attitude.

And suddenly, I thought of my visits to France.

Beautiful surroundings, clean air, greenery, parks, walkable streets, and a healthier lifestyle are wonderful goals. But the real question is:

Can we also build healthier eating habits?

Because healthy citizens are not created by parks alone. They are created by daily discipline: real food, smaller portions, walking, clean habits, and less dependence on fake, processed, chemical-loaded items.

Whenever I visit France, I’m amazed. You can walk through entire streets and barely see obesity. If I do see one or two obese people, I quietly think:

“These are probably tourists. The real French are inside, eating butter with dignity and still staying thin.”

That is the French mystery.

They eat butter, cheese, bread, cream, steak, and dessert — yet somehow they don’t expand like a Pakistani wedding buffet line.

Their secret is simple:

Real food. Small portions. Slow eating. Lots of walking. No fake chemicals. No emotional relationship with unlimited refills.

The lesson from tonight was clear:

A healthy society needs green spaces, clean air, walkable neighborhoods, and beautiful homes.

But it also needs a culture of wholesome food, disciplined portions, and respect for the body.

The French may have their Merlot.

Though I must admit, my Diet Coke is still in mourning!

Les Misérables in 3 minutes

 

khas!