Monday, July 30, 2018

Motherhood in the Age of Fear

Very interesting point of view, published in the New York Times. It explains a lot about our own follies, insecurities and no common sense.

 - What a beautiful article.

"We now live in a country where it is seen as abnormal, or even criminal, to allow children to be away from direct adult supervision, even for a second. We read, in the news or on social media, about children who have been kidnapped, raped and killed, about children forgotten for hours in broiling cars. We do not think about the statistical probabilities or compare the likelihood of such events with far more present dangers, like increasing rates of childhood diabetes or depression. 

.... And so now children do not walk to school or play in a park on their own. They do not wait in cars. They do not take long walks through the woods or ride bikes along paths or build secret forts while we are inside working or cooking or leading our lives.

.....As one mother put it to me, “I don’t know if I’m afraid for my kids, or if I’m afraid other people will be afraid and will judge me for my lack of fear.” In other words, risk assessment and moral judgment are intertwined....."


Read the full article here https://nyti.ms/2mSuGF6

Sunday, July 29, 2018

Calinda

As two nights ago lunar eclipse was all over the news and I recently blogged about Pablo, (our janitor in Chicago apartments) - I recalled another episode.

It was supposed to be my first Eid in Chicago and I planned to go to McCormick center for prayers, and intend to invite a few Muslim friends at my place. As I told him about the use of the possible parking spaces - he was surprised to hear that I am not sure about the actual day of the event as it all depends on the sighting of the moon.

He said: "The word calendar came from the Mexican old culture word Calinda which means moon. If the first calendar can be created based on moon cycle, three thousand years ago, why can't Muslims have their own calendar based on the moon in this scientific age?"

I didn't have an answer to Pablo.

Saturday, July 28, 2018

A note on Sanju

This is little late as a movie was released a few weeks ago, and I think this was an attempt to damage control, fix the image, took the terrorist label off and portray Sanjay Dutt's personality in a positive way. I will not be surprised if he himself paid for this movie or director did this out of friendship.

Above said, in the end, this movie turned out to be more of a tribute to his father Sunil Dutt who despite against all odds of life, stayed firm in his character. Fighting life with son turned into a drug addict, wife dying of cancer, taking flakes for supporting and protecting minoriy as a city leader after Mumbai blasts, getting called a hidden Muslim as he was born in Pakistan, before partition. {This was actually a payback as Dutt's family was saved by a Muslim friend during 1947 migration}.

Though it was not mentioned in the movie Nargis fall in love with him and remained his true love till the end as he saved her from a raging fire broke out during the making of the film 'Mother India', another aspect of his brave character.

I had a discussion about his strong character with one of my friends. Sunil Dutt was born and raised as a farmer near Jhelum, Pakistan. Is this true that people who are more near to soil have more strength to their character in contrast to urbanites/city dwellers? 

Thursday, July 26, 2018

Green (and Pakistan)

Jab pehli dafa Pakistan se America ke liye rawana huwa - aur sab ne gaari main bitha ke fi-aman-illah kiya to main ne dekha mera 7 baras ka chota bhanja gaari ke peeche bhagta chala aa raha hai. Main ne dost se kaha gaari roko. Mere bhanje ke haat main Pakistan ka aik chota sa parcham tha. Us ne apni totli si zaban main kaha: "Mamu! ye sab se ziyada kaam ki cheez reh gai. Ise sambhal ke rakhiye ga". Baik-waqt meri aankhoN main aansu anr honton pe hasi aa gai. Main ne us se wada ker liya ke - "Yaara! teri qasam, hamesah ise sambhal ke rakhun ga - wada - pakka wada". Aur main ne us ka maatha chum ke usey wapas rawana ker diya.

America main koi 22/23 baras ho gaye - mujh main se poora ka poora Pakistan nikal gaya - magar main ne apna wada nibhaya (ab bhi woh chota sa parcham meri library ke shelf pe lehrata hai).

Jab Chicago main tha to hamare apartments ka janitor 'Pablo' maxican tha. Tab internet nahi aaya tha. Pablo hume mexico ke qisse sunata aur hum use Pakistan ke. Aik din Pakistan ka parcham dekh ke kehne laga: "Hamare Mexico ke parcham main bhi hara (green) rang hai. Tum jaante ho na green colour ka kiya matlab hai?" Main ne bachpan se rata-rataya jawab de diya: "Khush-haali". Pablo ne hame bataya:

"Hamari dev-maalaai (mythological) kahanion main kaha jaata hai ke - jab aasmaan pe khuda raazi hota hai to woh us qaum ko hara rang ataa kerta hai. Suraj ka peela rang aur samandar ka neela rang jab aik saath markooz hote hain to un dono rang ki aamezish se wahan khuda ki muqaddas aur zarkhez zameen ubhar aati hai aur insaaniyat khub abad hoti hai".

Jab bhi Pakistan ke parcham pe nazar paRti hai - dil kehta hai - kaash pablo ki baat sach ho.




(Pakistan ke halya election ke pas manzar main likha gaya)- 

Saturday, July 14, 2018

Kafka and the Doll story

The following story is attributed to German short story writer Franz Kafka (here) - who died young at the age of 39 but left deep marks on modern story writing with amalgams of abstract and realities.
The punch line of the following story is very remarkable.
Franz Kafka, the story goes, encountered a little girl in the park where he went walking daily. She was crying. She had lost her doll and was desolate.
Kafka offered to help her look for the doll and arranged to meet her the next day at the same spot. Unable to find the doll he composed a letter from the doll and read it to her when they met.
“Please do not mourn me, I have gone on a trip to see the world. I will write you of my adventures.” This was the beginning of many letters. When he and the little girl met he read her from these carefully composed letters the imagined adventures of the beloved doll. The little girl was comforted.
When the meetings came to an end Kafka presented her with a doll. She obviously looked different from the original doll. An attached letter explained: “my travels have changed me... “
Many years later, the now grown girl found a letter stuffed into an unnoticed crevice in the cherished replacement doll. In summary it said: “every thing that you love, you will eventually lose, but in the end, love will return in a different form.”

Friday, July 13, 2018

Second Innings - 2

For some reason, discussion on 'second innings' (here here) took its own life among our friends. One colleague sends the following to me which is worth sharing.


Beautiful poem by Mario de Andrade (San Paolo 1893-1945) 
Poet, novelist, essayist, and musicologist.
One of the founders of Brazilian modernism.
__________________________

MY SOUL HAS A  HAT (also known as THE VALUABLE TIME OF MATURITY) - Translation from original version

"I counted my years and discovered that I have fewer years left to live compared to the time I have lived until now.

I feel like a boy who won a package of treats.

The first he eats with pleasure, but when he realizes that there are a few left, he then starts to contemplate upon them.

I no longer have time for endless meetings that achieve nothing as statuses, rules, procedures and regulations are discussed.

Neither do I have time to give encouragement to absurd people who, despite their age, have not grown up.

I don't have time to deal with mediocrity.

I don't want to be in meetings where egos parade.

I won't tolerate manipulators and opportunists.

I am bothered by envious people, seeking to discredit the able ones, to usurp their places, talents and accomplishments.

I hate to witness the ill effects, generated by the struggle for a better job, among ambitious people.
I detest people who do not argue about content but titles. My time is too precious to discuss titles.
I want the essence, my soul is in a hurry. Not many treats are left in the packet.

I want to live among human people, very human. People, who can laugh at their mistakes.
Who do not become full of themselves because of their triumphs.
Who do not consider themselves elite, before they have really become one.
Who do not run away from their responsibilities.
Who defend human dignity.
Who do not want anything else but to walk along with truth, righteousness, honesty and integrity.

The essential thing is what makes life worthwhile.

I want to surround myself with people who can touch the hearts of others.
People who despite the hard knockouts of life, grew up with a soft touch in their soul.

Yes, I am in a hurry. So that I can live with the intensity, which only maturity can give me.

I intend not to waste any of the treats I have left. I am sure they will be more exquisite compared to the ones I have eaten so far.

My goal is to reach the end satisfied and at peace with my loved ones and my conscience.

I hope yours is the same, because the end will come anyway..."

Thursday, July 12, 2018

Mari Khala aur shukrane ki nafal namazain

Mari khala ka asli naam shayed kisi ko nahi malum magar hamare saare mohalle main isi naam se jaani jaati thin.

Allah jhoot na bulwaye, mari apa ki 4 betian - aur sab ki sab shuru se hi shakal-o-surat se gai guzri thiN. Aik to shakal surat kum uper se maali halat bhi naped. Mari khala ke mian domicile office ke bahir typing ka kaam kerte the. Mari khala ko is ka aehsaas bohat achhi tarah se tha, isi liye pehli beti abhi solah baras ki bhi nahi hui ke us ke liye rishte dhundhne shuru ker diye. 

Phir aaye din ye sab sunne main aata ke - aaj laRki ko koi  paan wala dekhne aaya magar mana ker ke chala gaya. Kabhi kisi cycle wale ki to kabhi kisi doodh dahi ki  dukan wale ki khabar aati.

Betion ko bhi is baat ka aehsaas tha. Unon ne saari tawajah taalim ki taraf laga di. Aur mohalle main kabhi apne kirdar pe bhi koi harf naa aane diya. 

Jab bhi betion ka koi rishta pakka nahi hota, mari khala shukrane ki 2 nafal namaz parh leti. Aik din main ne amma se poocha ye kiya maajra hai. Rishta to pakka nahi huwa, phir shukraane ki namaz kiun? Amma batati, mari khala kehti hain: mere khuda ka koi bhed ho ga, us ki khushi main meri khushi - is niyyat se rab ka shukar ada kerti hain ke us na shayed betion ko kisi azab se bacha liya. 

Hum mulhid type insaan the: sir jhatak ke aage barh jaate.

Main America aane se 10 baras pehle tak ye silsila dekhta raha. 

Peechle hafte mera Pakistani doctors (APPNA) ki meeting ke liye Dallas jaana huwa to wahan un ki dusri beti nuzhat aik doctor sahab ki biwi ke tor pe mili. Us ne bataya saari bahanain aik se barh ker aik jagah biah di gai hain. Jab charon betioN ki shadi ho gai to mari khala aur un ke shohar shukraane ke tor per haj bhi ker aaye. 

Namaz to main aaj bhi nahi paRta - bus shumaila (here) ki di hui jaa'namaz ko  saath saath liye phirta hun. Jab Dallas se wapasi ke liye jahaz main betha to bohat der tak Mari khala aur un ki shukranye ki nafal namazoN ke baare main sochta raha - ke ya Allah! - kiya yahi woh tere gaazi aur pur-asraar bande hain - jin ka maujizaa saamne to rehta hai per nazar nahi aata!


On a side note: Indian flick Sanju (here) is a well-made movie 10/10

Sunday, July 08, 2018

Fruits of marriage

"Does marriage really help?"
"Only those get the fruits of marriage who hang to it till old age".

Thursday, July 05, 2018

Interesting statement

I am not sure if the following is from Banu apa or not but given our culture seems like a right advice:




Tuesday, July 03, 2018

On 'Jurassic Park'

Though I wanted to watch Sanju but my daughter took me to watch 'Jurassic Park'.

Main ne jab bhi 'Jurassic Park' ka koi naya sequel dekha, aik sabaq hamesah tazah huwa ke :: "Zindagi apna raasta khud dhundh leti hai"

'Jurassic Park' ka naya sequel 'Fallen Kingdom' - woh baat to na thi jo har 'Jurassic Park' main hoti hai  (fell short of expectations),  - but the punch line was extremely interesting.

"Animals of natural habitat do not need need us. Actually, what they need is our absence!"

Trailer here: https://youtu.be/vn9mMeWcgoM