Kintsugi

 

Life!

 

حاصل زندگی حسرت کے سوا کچھ بھی نہی 

یہ کیا نہیںُ وہ ہوا نہیں یہ ملا نہیں وہ رہا نہیں

Mirza Ghalib ka ghar

 

Money vs Relationships

One lesson I learned—and advised children in the family to understand—is that sooner or later in life, they will be presented with situations where they must choose between salvaging a relationship or walking away with (some) money. It sounds strange, but it is true.

It may be a friendship, marriage, or another relationship.

Alas! I have seen people fight for money at the expense of relationships. Siblings not talking to each other for decades, getting divorced, blocking friends - It's all not worth it. Even if you have to sustain some loss, take it. 

It is absolutely not worth going to the extreme stage on the pretext that he said this, she said this, He did this, she did this.

Even if you have to give up on your rightful stand, do so. Let things go. Move on.

Later, as years go by, you will learn that money vanishes, good jobs end, cars get depreciated, and houses get sold - but heartache and memories stay.

*

Urdu (and Luckhnow)

 

On Pakistan

I landed at NY JFK airport on April 13. That day, I was full of Pakistaniat. As I get boiled in the melting pot of humanity in the USA, it still sometimes hurts me to see my previous homeland not doing well.

 

 

Paranoid

 As I work at a quarternary medical center, we get the sickest of sickest patients transferred from outside hospitals. A wrong clinical judgment in that split of a second can kill a patient. I have a very close friend who is a very senior physician and a mentor for me. He reviews cases of bad or unexpected outcomes. The following conversation occurred two days ago.

(phone rang)

"What did I do wrong this time?"

"Nothing! I called to check on your shenanigans outside of work."

"I am now getting paranoid whenever you call."

"I am glad. We need to be paranoid. We deal with human lives. It is a prerequisite. Have a good day."

(Call ended)

On Eid

‏عیدگاہِ ما غریباں کوئے تو

‏ایں بہ ساعت عید، دیدن روئے تو

Your street is Eid-gaah for us poors 

The glimpse of your face is the moment of Eid 

 - Amir Khusrau

عیدگاه ما غریبا‌ں کوئے تو

ایں بہ ساعت عید، دیدن روئے تو 

کعبۂ من، قبلۂ من روئے تو

سجدہ گاہ عاشقاں ابروئے تو 

صد ہزارا‌ٓں عید قربانت کنم 

اے ہلالِ ما، خم ابروئے تو 

دست بکشا جانب زنبیل ما 

آفریں بر ہمت بازوئے تو 

یا نظام الدین محبوبِ خدا 

جملہ محبوبان غلام روئے تو

(کلام حضرت امیر خسرو)

On Journey (of life)

 

How to play the Game of Life

Cricket is the game of life. Cricket teaches you how to play the game of life. In this regard, my most profound teaching came from legendary Clive Lloyd, who won two first consecutive world cups for the West Indies and groomed many giants of Cricket, including Andy Roberts, Micheal Holding, Malcolm Marshall, and bigger-than-life Sir Alexander Vivian (the King) Richard. He once described his attitude toward playing Cricket in the following words (not exact words, though).

"Once we make the strategy for the match against a particular team, I usually stay in the dressing room, either taking a nap or doing other things. When it's my turn to bat, I walk into the field. First, I look at the weather and the wind to know how the ball may swing. Then, I look at the scoreboard. Knowing this, I play each ball to its merit. This attitude never deceived me."

Approaching every event, issue, action, and problem in life to its merit keeps a person going. It's not worth worrying too much about success or failure.

Be awaz laathi

 Kehte hain khuda ki lathi be awaz hai - magar jab us ki samjh aati hai to insaan itni zor se bilbilata hai ke woh laathi be awaz nahi rehti.

* Somebody cheated me with 35 K US$ almost 15 years ago. I moved on as I had no other choice. Recently, I learned that the person lost 70K in the same business for which I was cheated. The business was flooded in extreme rain, and the whole inventory was lost. As Desis do, no flood insurance was purchased. I was sent an apology as a makafate amal. I stayed quiet. Such an apology means nothing anymore.

Query

 Kiya sach hai ke ma-baap ki naikiaN aur budiaN - aulad ko bhugtni paRti hain?

ButaaN e Wahm o GumaaN

 

Insaan

 

From Ocean 11 - A woman's perspective

 

Nostalgic shyr

The below shyr, though out of meter (wazan)- still gives goosebumps. Years ago, it was said by a girl I promised to revisit but ended up cancelling my trip to Pakistan with a petty excuse.

 

 

An approach to life

 

Anticipation

 

Life from wrong end of telescope

 

Mirza Ghalib on Fasting

"دھوپ بہت تیز ہے۔ روزہ رکھتا ہوں مگر روزے کو بہلاتا رہتا ہوں۔ کبھی پانی پی لیا، کبھی حقہ پی لیا، کبھی کوئی روٹی کا ٹکڑا کھا لیا۔ یہاں کے لوگ عجب فہم رکھتے ہیں۔ میں تو روزہ بہلاتا ہوں اور یہ صاحب فرماتے ہیں کہ تُو روزہ نہیں رکھتا۔ یہ نہیں سمجھتے کہ روزہ نہ رکھنا اور چیز ہے اور روزہ بہلانا اور بات ہے

مرزا غالب کے ایک خط سے اقتباس 

Returning car

 I was always told that if you borrow a car from someone, the right etiquette is to always return it with a full tank.

Yesterday, somebody went a step further, and added: "If you borrow a car for more than two days, always return it with a full tank and a carwash."

Community

 A female colleague made an interesting comment interestingly about the desi community (at least here in the USA). It was about another female colleague desperate to get her daughter married on the pretext that "umar nikalti ja rahi hai, log kiya kahain gey."

I don't agree completely, but it makes sense on many levels, at least for women in the community.

Yeah community!… gelee lakrioun ki tarahn hootay hein. Qarib aou to koi garmi nahi, aur dour sey sulagta hua dhuwan!  

Kask

 Zindagi ke kai sawal aese hote hain, kai kasak aesi hoti hain -

barson lag jaate hain 

       - unka jawab milne main

       - woh kasak, woh khalish mitne main

~ Shayed yahi bohat hai ke maut se pehle saare hisab saaf ho jaain

Lakshmi and Owl

 As we were casually talking about the extravaganza, display of wealth, and waste of money in Ambani's recent wedding event, one of my Indian friends (whose father still runs a small kiryana shop in Gujrat) commented:

"In Hindu mythology, the goddess of wealth - Lakshmi, usually arrives on the owl. Although owl means wisdom - in India, an owl is generally referred to as an idiot. So go figure."

Love to House

 Jab Amma abba pehli baar Canada aaye - tabhi, bahen aur behnoii ne Toronto main naya makan khareeda.

Abba ne tab un se kaha tha:

"Makan ko bhi wahi piyar dena jo aulad ko dete ho. Makan ka khayal rakho ge to yahi makan saalon bulke buRhape tak apni chaaun dega."

Shayed unhon ne abba ki is baat pe lafz b lafz amal kiya.

Is baat ko 30 baras beet gaye. bachhe baRe ho gaye. BetioN ki shadiyan ho gai. Kal raat jab un ke sath beth ker sakoon se chai pi to abba ki ye baat bohat yaad aayi...

... na jaane kese log apna makan kiraye pe de dete hain. Kabhi koi aulad ke saath bhi aese kerta hai!!

DINK

 I was disturbed by a new phenomenon my students have told me: a widespread trend in new generations, irrespective of their cultural origin in developed countries, is to be married but stay DINK (Dual Income, No Kids).

Very disturbing.

Puzzle of Life

Classic of Irrfan Khan

 

 

Petty Cash

 While in medical school, I was part of a friend group active in the student union, particularly in arranging social events, including debates, musahiyra, get-togethers, etc. Student unions allocate a particular amount of funds for such events. Said that it was a public (government) medical college and allocated funds were minimal. We primarily relied on money from advertisements, commercial banners, and pharmaceutical companies. One of the tricks I learned from seniors during those days was called “petty cash.”

What ‘petty cash’ meant was that we had a secret account for money saved from previous events to use if we ran short for subsequent events. We used to keep a balance of around 3000 rupees in that free-flowing, non-audited account. Interestingly, we kept that money in a box hidden somewhere in the student union office, and we call it petty, as in Urdu. (Trust me, in those days, 3000 rupees was a good amount for poor students.)

“Petty cash” always stayed with me. When I came to this country and slowly started settling down, it brought more and more responsibilities on my shoulders. It also meant taking care of more bills–and often unexpected expenses. My ‘petty cash’ amount was $25 monthly when I finished residency. I also learned that “petty cash” is a classic example of ‘life balance.’ Sometimes, you may lose money somewhere, but on the same token, you also get money from unexpected sources.

Going forward, this amount gradually increased. As my two children are in college, I have two cars for personal use and travel extensively; my current “petty cash” value is $1000.

If I lose up to $1000, I don’t sweat; money will be recovered somewhere down the lane. To give you an example, I recently had to cancel an international flight, and I lost about $1100 (it hurts – I know), but next week, I learned one of the locum companies I worked previously paid my license and DEA fees (almost equivalent to $1500) for one of the states as a good gesture. Simultaneously, American Airlines deposited 11K miles in my account for a mistake on their side a year ago. Every other week, I encounter such examples.

That’s how life is with its pleasures and sorrows. Life is full of ‘petty cash’. Usually, it’s not worth being unhappy about small losses, as money is bound to come from unexpected sources. As Rohinton Mistry says about life, it is a fine balance.

Please continue to tip servers and drivers appropriately, and don’t be unhappy if you lose petty cash here and there. Decide on a petty cash value at which you will shrug your shoulder and move on—maybe $5 extra on your cable bill or $50 more on your car insurance.

Life goes on!

*

Vadh

 While on the way from a long transcontinental flight, I watched the Indian art movie "Vadh."

Vadh (Sanskrit) is translated as 'to kill.' - mind it, not murder. 

We often make impulsive decisions when we are under undue pressure in life. Conventional wisdom says that impulsive decisions are usually wrong, but the movie argues against this!

The story revolves around a poor schoolteacher who lives alone with his wife after getting a huge loan to send his son abroad. Now, the son is not interested in his parents, and the teacher is continuously threatened by the land mafia. In between, a local low-level goon is also making his life miserable. While the plot moves slowly, this low-level criminal offers him money to sleep with one of his teenage students (who was like a daughter to this couple). In rage, he kills him. Was he wrong?

The movie has no BS, and it is very nicely made. In the end, leave an audience with the same question to answer. Was his decision to kill when the whole system is corrupt was right?

*

Youtube link: https://youtu.be/O5EkZtIXb1Q?si=7Z4lLfTaDyTozxWy

bright thing in the sky today

 I met an elderly man in the elevator. Suddenly, he said what is that bright thing in the sky today. I started thinking, seriously, did I miss something while driving? Something serious? Then he said something we had not seen for a long time. I started laughing as I got it he was referring to the Sun. I said I missed the sun too. 

Amazing guy with a sense of humor.

In My Defense!

 

On Fear

 ‏❞ایک دن خوف نے دروازے پر دستک دی، جرات اٹھی، دروازہ کھولا تو دیکھا کہ باہر کو ئی نہیں تھا

‏~مارٹن لوتھر کنگ

Absolutely Genius Cartoon

 

Chandan ka darakht

 

There is no such thing as failure

 

Nahi to! - Murshid JA

 

cup and emptiness

 

Maula Jatt - 2

An Interesting comment was made on my previous post. Maula Jatt has always stayed close to my heart. In my medical school days, to take refuge from hot summer days in Karachi, my cousin and I frequently went to cinemas. We laughed at dialogues, camera stunts, love scenes, and other nonsense in movies. We also contemplated ordinary men's love for Maula Jatt in the background of Zia's Martial Law and typical rural aristocratic agricultural society, particularly in southern Panjab. We talked about people's inner psychologies, fantasies, and wishes to overcome the system's unfairness. I was so intrigued with this Robinhood-type saga that a couple of years ago, while in inner Lahore, I went to see the original den where the man who inspired the character of Noori Nath lived (reportedly killed in a police encounter with his son Zafri in 2014).

The comment and my response below on the previous post:

"The original statement you mentioned definitely has some depth, but your English translation left some confusion, so I think it’s more like Maula (the guy Maula Jatt) will only die if Maula (Allah) kills him … like Allah allows him to live or die kinda way :) However, it reflects a layered interpretation:

1. **Divine Will Interpretation**:
- In this view, **Maula Jatt** (the character) will only meet his end if **Maula** (Allah) decrees it. It implies that the ultimate authority lies with Allah, and Maula Jatt's fate is entirely in His hands.
- It's akin to saying that Allah has the power to allow or disallow Maula Jatt's death. The character's life and death are subject to divine intervention.

2. **Self-Inflicted Interpretation**:
- Alternatively, the statement could be understood as Maula Jatt taking matters into his own hands. He might intentionally cause his own demise (suicide).
- This interpretation emphasizes human agency and personal choice. It suggests that Maula Jatt's actions directly lead to his death.

The depth lies in the tension between these two perspectives. Is it a matter of divine will or individual agency? The statement leaves room for ambiguity, allowing us to contemplate the interplay between fate, free will, and the human condition. What’s your take on it?

My response:

"wow... you put a lot of thought into it. I am pleasantly surprised, intrigued, and amused! And I need to agree with you. My take on your question is: "I don't know. I am in quest and alive in search of the same question."

Maula Jatt

One dialogue of Maula Jat is bigger than his own whole saga. Too deep!

“Maulay nu Maula na maray, tay Maula naee marda,” 

~Maula won't die unless Maula himself kills Maula

Paradox, Humor and Change

 

Kisi ka bura chahna

 Kal kisi ne bohat achhi baat kahi:

"Insaan ka bura sirf kisi ka bura kerne se nahi hota, bulke kisi ka bura chahne se bhi us ka bura ho jaata hai"

- Even thinking of evil for others may bring evil to you. The biggest evil is to feel happy by seeing another human in trouble - it doesn't matter if they are your enemy.

What went wrong in US healthcare

 Norma retired from our hospital after 52 years as a nursing educator. She started as a junior nurse and eventually became a full professor. In the last few years, we worked together on many projects due to my involvement in education.

When everyone left after the retirement party, I asked Norma: "What do you think went wrong in US healthcare?"

She said: "At some point, we start failing to convey to our patients that we care for them. Instead, we start to bully what we know! They know we know! Our white coats do not capture their hearts; our attitude does. We, as educators, failed to instill that value in the new generation. We taught them books, websites, procedures, writing notes, and articles, but somewhere down the line - we failed to teach them that 'human touch to another human is the most profound art of healing."

Ghalib says

‏

We are mosaics

 

Second face

 

Another classic of Faraz - in his own voice

 

Seven stages of love

I didn't find it very literary but still, its worth watching.

 

One of Faraz's classics - In his own voice

 

Sugar is like love

A whatsapp forward

مجھے لگتا ہے کہ چائے کے اندر ڈالی ہوئی چینی کا بھی دل ہوتا ہے اس کی بھی سیلف ریسپیکٹ ہوتی ہے

اگر آپ اس کے ہوتے ہوئے کسی دوسری مٹھی چیز کو کھائیں تو وہ چپ چاپ اپنا ذائقہ لے کر کہیں چلی جاتی ہے اور اس کے بعد سب کچھ پھیکا پھیکا لگنے لگتا ہے

یہی حساب محبت کا بھی ہے

 

A Russian Painting

 One of the best paintings in the world is priceless... Why?!

A painting by the Russian artist Fedor Reshetnikov, which he painted in 1952, entitled “Low Marks Again.”

It is about a boy returning from school who failed the exam, and how the family looks at him with blame, and his brother looks at him with gloating... The artist says to them: “Treat him as a dog treats him, he loves him whether he passes or fails, he loves him for himself.” 

Dr Mubarak Ali on India's Muslim History

Dr. Mubark Ali is one of the most distinguished teachers of history in Pakistan, who knows how to read and teach lessons from history from an unbiased view.

‏ہندوستان میں مسلمانوں کی تاریخ دراصل حکمران شاہی خاندانوں کی تاریخ ہے

‏اگر تاریخ خاندانوں کے نام سے موسوم رہتی تو بادشاہ فاتح منتظم اور بڑے بڑے منصب دارو جاگیر دار تاریخ کا کردار ہوتے اور اس حیثیت سے ان پر تنقید کی جا سکتی تھی

‏اور تجزیے کے بعد تاریخی حقائق کو بیان کیا جا سکتا تھا

‏اس صورت میں محمدبن قاسم، محمود غزنوی اور معزالدین غوری تاریخ کی تنقید کی زد میں آ سکتے تھے

‏مگر ایک مرتبہ جب انہیں تاریخ سے نکال کر مذہب کے دائرے میں لے جایا گیا تو پھر ان پر تنقید کرنا ممکن نہیں رہا

‏کیونکہ اب عقیدت نے ان کے گرد تقدس کا ہالہ بنا دیا اور اسلامی تاریخ عقیدت کا شکار ہو کر اپنا تاریخی کردار کھو بیٹھی-

‏برصغیر میں مسلمان معاشرہ کا المیہ

‏ڈاکٹر مبارک علی

How you create Abdul Sattar Edhis

 ‏جب میں چھوٹا تھا میری ماں مجھے 2 روپے دیتی تھی ایک میرے لئے ایک کسی اور پر خرچ کرنے کےلئے 

‏عبدالستار_ایدھی

Self Pardon

Zindagi main ye bhi zaroori hai ke insaan apne aap ko bhi kabhi kabhi muaf ker de

A wish

 

On Faith

I agree to disagree with his opinion - but indeed a strong argument against religions and faiths fron a scientific mind.

 

A poem of Zelda Mishkovsky

شاعرہ: زیلڈا مشکووسکی

ہم میں سے ہر ایک کا ایک نام ہے

خدا کا دیا ہوا

اور ہمارے والدین کا دیا ہوا

ہم میں سے ہر ایک کا ایک نام ہے

ہماری قامت اور ہماری مسکراہٹ کا دیا ہوا

اور ہمارے لباس کا دیا ہوا

ہم میں سے ہر ایک کا ایک نام ہے

پہاڑوں کا دیا ہوا

اور ہماری دیواروں کا دیا ہوا

ہم میں سے ہر ایک کا ایک نام ہے

ستاروں کا دیا ہوا

اور ہمارے ہمسایوں کا دیا ہوا

ہم میں سے ہر ایک کا ایک نام ہے

ہمارے گناہوں کا دیا ہوا

اور ہماری خواہشوں کا دیا ہوا

ہم میں سے ہر ایک کا ایک نام ہے

ہمارے دشمنوں کا دیا ہوا

اور ہمارے محبوب کا دیا ہوا

ہم میں سے ہر ایک کا ایک نام ہے

ہماری خوشیوں کا دیا ہوا

اور ہمارے پیشے کا دیا ہوا

ہم میں سے ہر ایک کا ایک نام ہے

موسموں کا دیا ہوا

اور ہماری نابینائی کا دیا ہوا

ہم میں سے ہر ایک کا ایک نام ہے

سمندر کا دیا ہوا

اور ہماری موت کا دیا ہوا

ترجمہ: مبشر علی زیدی 

An opinion

 I don't agree with the following but indeed pondered on it for a while

Bachpan

 

January 1