Rishte, zarooratain aur umeedain

 Sifawaye ma baap ke saare rishte zarooratoN aur UmeedoN ke mohtaj hote hain

Jab rishtoN se zarooratoN ki khu kam ho jaati hai, aur umeedoN ki lo madham paR jaati hai, to rishte bhi amar-des sadhaar jaate hain

I don't know (either)

 

Pretty Accurate

 

Well Painted!

 

I Miss You - in French

 

'Disappointing’ those closest to us

Charlie Sheen is getting candid about the turning point that led to his sobriety and the moment he knew he had to change. The actor, once known for his heavy drug and alcohol use, has been sober nearly eight years. After years of addiction and public turmoil, Sheen said he got sober after realizing the impact his lifestyle was having on both his health and those around him. 

In recent years, he’s spoken about the shame he associates with those years of his life and about turning his life around since getting sober in 2017. A large part of that, he said, was rebuilding relationships with those closest to him. 

 "I didn’t feel that I was available to the people that count on me the most and available in a way that they came to rely on, but then had to make adjustments based on my choices," he said.

Full Link:

https://www.foxnews.com/media/charlie-sheen-gets-brutally-honest-about-moment-he-got-sober-after-disappointing-those-closest-him 

Eyes!

 

Muhabbat ka hisaar

 Suna hai,, bohat ziyada mohabbat bhi saamne wali ki jaan le leti hai

Aadmi kisi ke gird muhabbat ka hisaar zaroor rakhe, magar itna bhi obsessive na ho jayye ke agle ka dum ghut jaaye..

On Men, Women, Love, Lust, and Relationship

(Someone wrote on Quora)

 Whereas there will be a gap between the two sexual intercourses of the male...

He will jerk away from the female after the first mating.

And it is his nature to want to sleep.

Whereas the female nature is entirely opposite.

She is eager to hear those words from his mouth immediately after intercourse that will tickle her...

She doesn't know that a man cannot love after love

He may yearn for love after the war.

He basically plays the role of hunter?

Yes, in civilized society, this tendency is covered in beautiful clothes.

Hitler, the world's greatest dictator, used to kill five hundred men every day and write love songs with his head in his girlfriend's lap.

His cheeks would get wet while describing the past moments of separation from her.

Enraged by the carnage in the Kalinga war, Ashoka yearned for love...

He incorporated Buddhist philosophy into himself in this way

Today, Ashoka and Buddhist philosophy cannot be separated.

Even Napoleon Bonaparte used to take off his armor and immerse himself in love; he was so romantic and dedicated to his beloved.

At this time, no poet or even a man with an innocent heart can be so dedicated.

He will play for some ten minutes.

Which will not satisfy him in any way...

To get this satisfaction, he may be eager to change his partner.

Wherever social bonds are weak, this change occurs within about six months.

But these changes neither change the situation nor his mentality...

That means he fails to love in getting love.

If it becomes an outlet for the wildness of man

So he can love, he can receive, he can give...

This is one reason the female always leans towards the unruly male rather than the socially civilized one.

This is why spoiled guys get devoted girlfriends.

Let the boys get the tag of being socially civilized...

Stones and snakes of relationship

 The following picture is a great metaphor for any disturbed human relationship, particularly a man and a woman.

Often, a man can't see a snake holding a woman to go up on the cliff, making the man confused as to why she is not coming up, though I am holding her hand. And, many times, a woman can't appreciate the weight of the stone a man carries on his back, thinking why he is not making a full effort to pull me up the cliff.

Think of stones and snakes around you!!

Coffee and relationships

And you became like coffee,

in the deliciousness,

and the bitterness,

and the addiction.”

- Mahmoud Darwish

Money vs Relationships

One lesson I learned—and advised children in the family to understand—is that sooner or later in life, they will be presented with situations where they must choose between salvaging a relationship or walking away with (some) money. It sounds strange, but it is true.

It may be a friendship, marriage, or another relationship.

Alas! I have seen people fight for money at the expense of relationships. Siblings not talking to each other for decades, getting divorced, blocking friends - It's all not worth it. Even if you have to sustain some loss, take it. 

It is absolutely not worth going to the extreme stage on the pretext that he said this, she said this, He did this, she did this.

Even if you have to give up on your rightful stand, do so. Let things go. Move on.

Later, as years go by, you will learn that money vanishes, good jobs end, cars get depreciated, and houses get sold - but heartache and memories stay.

*

Hamsafar

 

Give and Take of Marriage

 Hamare Muhalle main aik sahab apni biwi ko khub pitte the, aur aksar ghar se bahir nikal ke pitte the. Aik din main muhalle pe paan wale ki dukan se apni gold leaf khareed raha tha to aik buzurg ne un sahab se kaha;

"Bhai jawani main biwi pe rahem karo, woh burhape main tum pe rahem kare gi"

Defining moment

Pandemic has caused domestic fights to go up. I am not surprised. One of my close friends called me to go out with him as he had a huge argument with his son who is finishing college, has no job but needs to stay home. His son left the house to stay with other friends. We went out. I listened to his part of the story and his venting. In such a situation I try to use the middle ground of being a charasaz and being a naseh. During our conversation, he said a beautiful thing.

"Every relationship has a defining moment, and I don't want this fight to be a defining moment of our relationship. I didn't want to be a spineless father who tolerates bad habits - but at the same time, I don't want this fight to be the turning point of our relationship. It just doesn't worth."

Affected-Connected

Empty nest (yes again)

This is the time of the year (August - October) when I hear a lot of crying, vent., experiences of my friends who see-off their kids to college. The USA is a huge country and most of the time children go far away to other states. This is particularly hard when daughters have to go away, knowing our desi culture. One of my friends who sent his daughter to the east coast this year made an interesting comment. Mind it he and his wife watch a lot of Urdu dramas :)

This tells us how the human mind tries different rationalizations to cope with grief in life.

"Pehle hum bachhon ki shadiaN kerte the. Beti susral chali jaati thi to us se - dil maar ker - rishta kam rakhte the ke susraal ko apna ghar samjhe. Ab un ko college bhejte hain - aur dil maar ker baar baar text nahi kerte ke - ab woh nai zindagi main set ho jaaye.  Bachhe baRe ho jaayain to chale hi jaate hain - bus peeche yaadain reh jaati hain. Zindagi ke atthara baras pal main guzar jaate hain".

Horse Whisperer

There was a long period of time in history where horses continued to be considered an integral part of human living. Not only they were the fastest mode of transportation and communication, but they were also used as a weapon in wars, loyal companions as friends, and source of highest pride. It was considered art to handle them. (if you ever get chance, watch Robert Redford's movie horse whisperer -  here)

This was an interesting article came out 2 weeks ago:

"There was real fear, real danger and real potential for consequences," Beckerman said. "Grant (owner of the ranch) showed the power of love and kindness, of trust and establishing boundaries. The experience reinforced my beliefs about the downside of anger, confrontation and aggression."

Link: What executives can learn from a horse

Url: https://www.cnn.com/2019/08/29/success/executives-horses/index.html

Guman aur Galat-fehmi

Zindagi main main ne seekha hai ke - hamare ziyada ter rishte sirf is liye toot jaate hain kiun ke hum apne dil main koi guman paida ker lete hain.

Main ne bachpan ka aik dost sirf is liye kho diya tha, kiun ke woh mere purane cell number pe text kerta raha - aur main us ke purane number per. Dono ne aik dusre ke liye dil main aik guman paida ker liya.

Aakhir kaar - aik mushtarka 'forward group email' se phir baat hui - to muamla saaf huwa.

Gar dono main se koi aik - text message ka jawab na milne se - call ya email ker leta to ye badgumani kabhi paida na hoti - na rishte tootne ki nobat aati.

Is bhagti zindagi main halaat ye ho gaye hain ke:

"Glance at the screen, if it does not feel right, swipe right and move on"

Woman and her men

From around Jesus era, murals were found in Latin America known as Murales de Los Bebedores. One of the murals which depicted the myth that every woman in this world may pretend or be married to a man but has a secret lover in her heart which she fed her actual juice of love. People have inference their own opinions like it is not a secret lover but her God with who she shares her inner secrets. In any case....