Non-surprises!

"Zindagi main kubhi kubhi 'surprises' se ziyada 'non-surprises' achhe lagte hain. Apka 'partner' subah subah kitna 'cranky' hoga. Jali hui 'chai' pe khud kitna jala huwa hoga. Subha jaate hue jo 'forehead' pe aik 'kiss' ki adat si ho jaati hai. Jub aap ki dawwiyaN aap ko koi aur yaad dilata hai. Jub aap ki khoi hui cheezain kisi aur ko mil jaati haiN. Jub saare ghar main har taraf kitabaiN bikhri pari hoti haiN. Jub saalon baad bhi toothpaste ke dhakkan kho jaate hain...aur bus aese hi bohat si batain....

..........kuch non-surprises aese ho jaate hain jese saans lene ki adat."

24 years prison!

"I was in federal prison, serving the seventh year of a 24-year sentence for a first-time nonviolent crack cocaine offense...Many things have changed in the last decade. I graduated from college, attended law school, got married, raised my son who was born while I was incarcerated and gave birth to a daughter. I also established my own foundation to give hope to children of incarcerated parents."

Interesting real life story of Kemba Smith Pradia here

Aurat ka Kaaba

"Aurat ki sab se bari 'problem' ye hai ke - us ka kaaba sirf apni zaat hoti hai"

Daddy's Girl

"I always wanted to be my Daddy's little girl. We were 5 sisters but I always felt that my father keep distance from me - up to the point that I start thinking that - I am not her real daughter. As I grew up I made connection to him and we start communicating - but I still feel that empty space which was left vacant when I was 6-7-8-9-10 years old"

Muhabbat ki Zaban

Hamari 'maid' spanish bolti hai aur use urdu/angrezi ka aik lafz nahi aata. Aur udhar hamari Amma ko spanish ka aik lafz nahi aata. Magar phir bhi dono ghantoN saath guzar leti hain. Dono aksar saath shopping kerne jaati hain! Ye kaunsi zaban hai jo do insaan bagair bole aik dusre se bol lete hain.

Kaun Sahi, Kaun Galat?

(Shared on dinner table)

Mere Abbu aik 'self made' insaan the. Mere dada ke paas bari daulat thi magar abbu ne un ka aik paisa nahi liya aur khali haat Pakistan hijrat ker gaye. Unhon ne Pakistan main apni zindagi phir se shuru ki, shadi ki aur hum 6 bhai bahen paida huwe. Abbu ne sadar main aik choti si dukan shuru ki. Mehnat aur lagan se use parwan charhaya. Jub bhai ne hum sab ko Canada ke liye 'sponsor' kiya to abbu makhmase (confusion) main par gaye ke 40 saal purani dukan ka kiya karain? Yun to woh dukan kiraye pe thi magar uski pagri (Goodwill) kum az kum 50-70 lakh hogi. Abbu ke liye woh Dukan bechna yun tha jese aulad ko bechna. Hum sab ke mashware pe abbu ne beech ka raasta akhtiyar kiya. Unhon ne Dukan apne 28 saal purane mulazim - Jamil Chacha - ko chalane de di. Waada ye tha ke agar kubhi abbu wapas aana chahain to dukan unhe mil jaaye. Aur har mahine Jamil Chacha 3000 rupe abbu ki mad main jama kerte jaayain. Baqi ooper jo kamai ho woh Jamil Chacha ki. 

Jamil Chacha ke kehne pe abbu ne maalik makan se keh ker Dukan ki 'lease' apne naam se Jamil Chacha ke naam 'transfer' ker di. Do saal baad abbu Pakistan gaye to Jamil Chacha ne paise dene to darkinar bulke abbu se ye keh diya - ab ye dukan meri hai - raat gayi baat gayi. Abbu wapas Canada aa gaye. PaisoN ka to koi gum nahi tha magar Aulad jesi Dukan khone ka gum unhe ander hi ander se khaye jaata tha aur usi gum main woh fot ho gaye. Kubhi khud hi kehte the: 'Jamil ki baat bhi theek hai' - phir khud hi kehte the: 'magar dukan to meri thi'....Aur phir aah bhar ker khud hi kehte the: 'Allah hi Qayamat ke roz faisla ker de ga'..... Aur mujh jesa bin-mazhab aadmi dil hi dil main Mirza Ghalib ka ye sher parhta hai:

jate hue kahte ho qayamat ko milenge
kya khub! qayamat ka hai goya koi din aur

Book

(Found on Facebook - author unknown)

"There comes a time when you have to choose between turning the Page or closing the Book!"

16 Jyotsna

I bumped this young man's blog on net. His name is Rohit and he is from Mumbai. I liked his few short stories as I think I can relate to them from my Karachi background. Here is one I really enjoyed. His last line is a superb punch!

"My experiences with Mumbai are always analyzed and debated upon with self, sitting in that narrow kitchen window of my apartment; we now famously call as 16 Jyotsna........." Read full story here.

hat lady

I am blogging now almost for 6 years and I consistently follow very few blogs. Out of all bloggers - I found 2 boys very distinct in their outlook and perspective on life. Very intelligent chaps. One is Nabeel (I think he is in Chicago) and other is Adnan (I guess he is in Canada).

Adnan has rare quality of expressing things in few words. He is a master of one liner. He can see things which we can't! With his permission I am putting his latest post here.

"The wind caught the tip of her hat. The hat danced on her head for a mere second before flying off with the wind. The distance grew further and further between the hat and her outstretched arms. The look on her face was as if a part of her had died. We are still not sure which part."

Stuff! - A note from life

I lost couple of my bags and about 10 boxes during move about 15 months ago. Somehow they came back. Interestingly though I was very attached to them I realized I never needed them (at all)! And actually I threw half of the stuff in trash........HAHAHAHA. We all are collection masters and we carry stuff around...jese gadhe ki peeth pe bojh.

Sab thath para reh jawe ga jub laad chale ga banjara

Guilt!

(A true instance from my early days in USA)

I was on 15 hours bus ride on Grayhound going from Detroit to NY. I had 5 bucks left in my pocket. I didn't know what I would do if a person in Manhattan refuse to give me space. I had to save my bucks for subway rides in NY. It was Youngstown, Ohio where I could not take my hunger anymore and decide to spend  2 dollars to get a sandwich from a vending machine. As bus departs - I was shocked to see - by mistake I got Ham sandwich. Tears rolled over my eyes. I struggled for next 2/3 hours to debate should I eat pork. Finally I could not take it anymore and ate sandwich but that guilt haunted me for years till I develop intellectual strength to see I was right that day.

Andekhi quwatoN ke ghere main
InsaaN phir bhi kathere maiN

Births

"Do you think woman who gives natural birth to a child loves her kid more than the woman who goes through C-section because she never experienced that pain and climax of pregnancy?"

Gussa

Apni residency ke baad main ne yahan blog pe apni pehli job ke 2/3 'interesting' logoN ka zikar kiya hai (Rick Osman, Velona, Behroz etc.) Unhi dinoN meri mulaqat aik Indian sahab Mr. Anil se hui. Naam bhi Anil tha aur shakal bhi Anil kapoor jesi thi. Umer koi 50-55 ke aas paas hogi.

Anil sahab apni mun boli beti ko hospital se pick aur drop kerne aate the. Woh hamare hospital main clinical rotation ker rahi thi. Unki kahani unki zabani suniye:

"America aa ke jub kuch paise jama huwe to main ne aik chota sa 'steak house' restaurant kharida. Meri biwi ne mera poora saath diya. Hamara restaurant khub chalne laga. Main kafi khushal zindagi guzarne laga. Rupe paisoN ko koi kami na rahi. Meri do betiyaN thi. Mera bara shoq tha ke dono betiyon ko doctor banauN. Meri betiyan parhai main kamzor thiN is liye yahan US main admission nahi mil raha tha. Kisi ke mashware pe main ne un dono ko caribbean ke aik medical school main daakhil kerwa diya. Yun to main america main rehta tha magar 'indian values' ke muamle main bohat 'conservative' the. Aik saal ke baad jub meri aik beti ki birthday thi to hum ne unhe 'surprise' dene ka faisla kiya. Apni beti ke ghar ki aik chaabi (key) main ne 'as a precaution' apne paas rakh li thi. Jub wahan paunche to - "I was shattered to see my one daughter sleeping with a black guy (kala meri beti ke saath soye - yahi mere liye kaafi tha). I also found drugs on table. I crossed red line in my head.....Main gusse main wehshi aur junooni ho gaya. Jo haat main aaya us se beti ko peetna shuru ker diya. Police aa gai....I was thrown in jail....But the sadest part is that my daughter died after few days in hospital. I was jailed for 10 years. Making long story short my other daughter came back to USA. I, my wife and my other daughter went through extensive psychotherapy. Jo nuqsan hona tha woh to ho gaya magar main ne faisla kiya jub tuk mere paas daulat hai - har saal aik indian larki jo khud doctor banna chahe ko doctor banuN ga - shayed meri mari hui beti mujeh muaf ker sake."

Is kahani ke kai pehlu hain - zabardasti apni marzi aulad pe thopna, caribbean medical schools itself (?), reacting to teenagers mistake, racism toward blacks........

Gussa bari bhyanak shey hai. Jitni kahaniyaN likho kum hai.

ilme-riyazi ke sawalon ki tarah tha

Beauty of internet is that you meet people with talents all the time! I recently bumped Rida's poetry on blogs. I found following very interesting.

خوابوں کی طرح تھا نہ خیالوں کی طرح تھا

وہ علمِ ریاضی کے سوالوں کی طرح تھا

اُلجھا ہوا اتنا کہ کبھی کُھل نہیں پایا

سُلجھا ہوا ایسا کہ مثالوں کی طرح تھا

(He was neither like dreams nor like thoughts
He was like equations of maths
complicated as so - hard to solve
complete as so - ideal to cite)
 
You can read her blog here

127 hours (and others)

On this blog, I frequently comment on "zara hat ke" movies (off beat/art movies) as I believe they truly portray Zindagi Ki Diary!

I went to see new Hollywood flick "127 hours". It is a true story (book = Between a Rock and a Hard Place) of an avid but little careless (la-ubali) hiker. The incident happened in April 2003 in mountains of Utah when his right arm gets stuck/crush between 2 rocks. In the next 127 hours while fighting to save his life with one packet of snack and only 400 ml of water he re-examines his life. Near death his biggest regret is ignoring his loved ones on small matters like not returning his mom phone calls, not telling anyone where he is going, fighting with his girlfriend, escaping his sister's wedding. Also, he cherishes small moments he spent with his family and friends. It gives us a message that - in the end, nothing matters except moments spend with loved ones! On a side note, this movie is produced by famous British director Donny Boyle of Slumdog Millionaire fame. And so music is by AR Rehman.  

OTHERS:

1. If you are still young (in the heart) and like a light romantic comedy - don't miss "love and other drugs". Full paisa wasool film. (Caution - huge sexual content/nudity). 

2. Another comedy "Due Date" is also great! Just fun! Robert Downey Jr. is probably the sexiest actor in Hollywood right now! 

3. Bollywood's "Guzarish" is a little off beat movie - but famous director Sanjay Leela Bhansali failed to create a climax and emotional drama associated with the issue of euthanasia. Hirthik Roshan is a bad pick for this movie. He failed miserably. Shah Rukh would have done much better. But Ashwariya Rai is prettier than before and did awesome acting. She looks so graceful and its worth to spend money because of her. 

Najmul Hasan

Najmul Hasan mere paros ki 'building' main rehta tha. Uska taaluq Bangladesh se tha. Main ne Chicago main pehli dafa gaari kharidi to jese mujhe par mil gaye. Main har sham 'Michigan Lake' ki drive pe nikalta. Koi saath aaye na aaye Najmul Hasan mere saath ho leta. Dhimi tabiyat ka aadmi tha. Hum kehte - ya saala jawani main hi buddha ho gaya hai. Jub Najmul Hasan ne bhi gaari kharidi to sab ne sir pakar liye. Hum kehte - ise kisi din slow driving kerne pe ticket mile ga. Mere jub 2/4 accident huwe to mujhe samjhata ke - tezraftari se tumhari hi nahi bulke dusroN ki jaanoN ko bhi khatra hota hai. Gaari ahtiyat se chalaya karo...main uski suni ansuni ker deta.

Chicago chorne ke kuch arse baad aik roz - New York ki parhioN main - aik 'turn' lete huwe meri gaari ulat gai. Gaari ka haal dekh ker koi ye nahi keh sakta tha ke jaan bachi ho gi. Magar Allah ki qasam - aik kharash tuk na aai. Us din Najmul Hasan bohat yaad aaya jo hur 'turn' pe apne makhsoos bengali lehje main kehta - 'seeloww'!

Zindagi chalti rahi. Sab dost idhar udhar ho gaye. Kuch saalon pehle pata chala Najmul Hasan Arkansas ke kisi bohat hi chote town main reh raha hai. Hum ne kaha - wahin theek hai!

Peechle hafte mujh pe ye khabar kisi bijli se kum na thi ke - saal pehle Najmul Hasan ka aik chote se signal pe accident ho gaya. Magar aesa bhayanak accident ke Najmul Hasan ki aik taang kaatni pari. "Severe intracranial bleed" ki wajah se mahinoN hospital aur Rehab main raha. Uski biwi use phir Bangladesh le gai hai jahan physical therapy hoti hai magar saari zindagi kaam kaaj kerne se maazoor ho gaya hai.

Ye Zindagi saali bari harami hai. Jo is ki toqeer kare, aksar use hi zillat ka tauq pehna deti hai.

P Power!

(From one woman)

If woman knows how to hang between man's leg - man will give-up 'anything' for her - kids, career, wife, family, hobby - you name it!

Insaan bara kamina hai!

Insaan bara kamina hai!

Main poora din par ke sota raha. Shaam 'eid milan' party main khush-gupiaN kerta raha aur raat ko mehfil-musiqi main saroor ke maze lotta raha.

'Aankh tub khuli' jub Amma ne dusre din poocha: "Beta! kul tumhare Abbu ki barsi thi - umeed hai tum ne sadqa de ker nafal ki do namzain parh li hongi"!

Mere baap ko mare abhi 7 baras bhi nahi huwe magar unki yaad duniya-daari ke meloN aur jameloN main kahiN aese mehv ho ker reh gai ke main unhe bhool hi gaya. Insaan bara kamina hai. Apne baap ko bhi bhul jaata hai!

(I regret it more than anything as I failed to convey an important lesson of relationship to my own kids).

Parenthood

People who experience parenthood are different than who never experienced it. It change a person forever and I think it is one of the most essential experience to attain in life.

Why Amitabh become an Indian icon

Following is not my observation. I read it somewhere (I wish I had remembered). I think this is a very important observation about the pivot role of cinema in modern societies.

After 2 wars with Pakistan India was passing through a very rough state of affairs in the early and mid-1970s. Poverty was at a peak, the population was exploding, people were literally living on streets, alcoholism and prostitution were at rampage, basic necessities of life were counted as luxury and corruption was a way of life. For poor men cinema was the only cheap entertainment but it was all glossy with romance. Amitabh came on screen as a rebellious young angry man who defies all norms of society and fights against injustice. His movies Zanjeer, Sholay, Deewar, Don etc were prime examples. Indian society instantly identified its hidden frustration on the cinema screen. They found Amitabh as a reflection of their fantasies. His long stature, deep voice and expressive angry face were in perfect coordination with inner desires of people.

Mid-life crisis

What destroyed our marriage was a mid-life crisis. Exactly the day he turned 48, he bought a new BMW. A few days later, he purchased a red sofa in the house. He went for a hair transplant. But I didn't expect that he would divorce me! We were raising four kids together like the Brady bunch. He found a young girlfriend and became a sugar daddy. He started dressing more like Elvis, and it was apparent that he was working hard to enjoy life. I was devastated. He stuck around for a couple of years visiting kids but then vanished completely. I went into depression, hit with a couple of bad accidents under the influence of all crazy anti-psychotics. It was a hard time. Eventually, kids grew out and moved on with their life. I learned to live my life by finding hobbies of dancing and knitting. I tried to date 2/3 times but found the same shade in those men. Sixteen years passed by. I didn't see my ex ever in those years.

And yesterday, suddenly, we bumped into one community fair. I didn't recognize at first glance. My ex was bald again and appeared very old. Tons of wrinkles on the face. He was walking with a cane. I guess he developed a terrible hip. I called his name. He looked at me. Tears came to his eyes. He put his hands on my shoulder. He tried to say something but then walked off without words. He looks pretty alone. I wish he would have talked to me. I wanted to tell him that I still value our ten years of marriage more than anything, but words have lost meaning. I came back to a lonely house.

So watch yourself! And don't let any young chick at the strip club or Craiglist plunge you into a deep ditch of a mid-life crisis. It kills people and their loved ones from the inside.

*

15 baras

Main 'Markham' main rehti thi. Woh 'Brampton' main rehta tha. Main 2 jobs kerne ke baad TTC main dhakke kha ker us ke ghar jaati. Uske bartan dhoti, us ke kupre saaf kerti, khana banati. Meri saari zindagi us ke gird ghumti. Main us ke 'bills' bhi 'pay' ker deti - bulke uski 'fees' pay kerne ke liye amma ke diye kai zewar bhi bech diye. Amma ne lakh samjahaya. Abbu ne bhi kaha: "beta! tum dono ka mazhab alag hai, tum dono ki shadi bohat aage nahi jaaye gi". Magar main ishq main gum satwain aasman pe thi. Sab galat the - bus meri mohabbat theek thi.

Aur phir aik din woh aik dum se gaaib ho gaya. Zameen nigal gayi ya asmaan kha gaya. Khuch dinoN baad pata laga us ne Pakistan ja ker apni cousin se shaadi racha li. Main baawli si ho gi. Aik roz backpack le ker ghar se nikal gai. VIA Rail main beth gai. Train chalti rahi. Vancouver paunch gai magar dil wahiN Toronto main reh gaya.

15 baras ho gaye magar ab tuk us 'shock' se bahir nahi aayi. Ab bhi Toronto ka naam sun ker dar jaati hun. Tum jaante ho 15 baras aik aik pal kisi ki yaad se bhagna kiya hota hai. Tum mard ho. Tum kiya jaano tum mardoN ki bewafaii kese aurat ko botal main jin ki tarah band ker deti hai.

15 saal! uf khudaya! ab to aaine main apna chehra dekhne se bhi dar lagta hai....aik aik shikan pe uska naam likha hai.

Lambi Judai - Reshma

I love flute in this song. What a classic of Reshma!

Tute zamaane tere haat nigore

jin se dilon ke tu ne sheeshe tore


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-PiLICADb0

Love and Hate!

Golf and Cricket!

So you need to know the difference between Cricket and Golf!

"In Cricket you try to hit ball as hard as you can but in Golf you need to hit it only right! Are you following me?"

Do the dead greet the dying?

Following article caught my eye as I wondered about same phenomenon for years. When my father (here) died he provided the similar vision of his mother (my dadi).

"Throughout my years of working with the dying and the bereaved, I have noticed commonly shared experiences that remain beyond our ability to explain and fully understand. The first are visions.

As the dying see less of this world, some people appear to begin looking into the world to come. It’s not unusual for the dying to have visions, often of someone who has already passed on. Your loved one may tell you that his deceased father visited him last night, or your loved one might speak to his mom as if she were there in the room at that time..."

Read full article of David Kessler here.  (David Kessler is a leading and well-known expert on dying process after Elisabeth Kübler-Ross)

Aik zillat ka qissa

(One of my friend just returned from Pakistan's flood relief work)

There is a flood relief camp set up at Sohrab Goth near Karachi for people displaced from interior Sindh. That day they were distributing food cans in line. There was a girl of about 24 years age standing in line to get food for her small kid in lap. Policeman who was distributing food - without any shame - first played with her breasts and than hand over food. She walked away quietly with food!

Desires

(Shared by a fellow passenger when flight was cancelled and we were stuck at airport for 8 hours)

I am from Nigeria. My parents divorced when I was 18 or 19. That divorce did not only teach me that how men and women are different but also taught me that human relationships, desires and emotions are so complex that its not easy to blame one person.

My father was a hard working man. We were a middle class people living in a one bedroom apartment. My mother was way younger than my dad. She was an attractive woman with long silky black hair. She always thought that she is married to a wrong person. She thought herself of a princess. Her desires were forever. She craved for big house, servants, good clothings and of luxuries. She never cheated on my father. She took care of all household but she was not happy. On the other hand my father was a pragmatic man burned by harsh realities of life. Romance was dead in his heart and he had lost his softer and touchy inner self. He was unable to see woman's heart!

At one time my father was out of town for 3 weeks. I was away to college. One of our old neighbors had a big ancestral house little away at beach. My mom went there for 18 days. She felt like princess there in a big house with servants and furniture full castle. She came back. When my father returned and he came to know of her adventure - they had a huge fight. My father divorced her.

Life moved on but even now when I look back - I don't know whom to blame?

Iqra!

"Jub Mohammad se kaha gaya ke: 'Iqra' to is ka matlab ye nahi tha ke - naha dho ke, musalla bicha ke, topi pahen ke, feroz sons ka chapa koi sipara nikal ke - tote ki tarah far far parhna shuru ker do. Bulke iska matlab ye tha ka zindagi main jub kahin koi musibat aaye to sachhe dil se ooper wale ki hidayat ki tamanna karo. Zindagi ka har waqiya aik paigam maloom hoga"

Sir Aleem (here, here) ki ye baat jitni asan lagti hai - utni hi mushkil hai

Ye raaz kisi ko nahi maalum ke momin

qaari nazar aata hai, haqiqat main hai quran (iqbal)

(Sir Aleem recently died of cancer)

Zindagi hairan hun main!

Peechle do din main 2 khabrain aesi parhne ko miliN ke dimag sun hai

1. A Pakistani father killed his 3 kids over divorce custody battle (here)

2. A Pakistani couple killed in road accident leaving behind 2 kids (here)

Tujh se naraz nahi zindagi hairan hun main

Danaai aur Piyaas

"Registan main hum log dhoop se chamakti ret ko paani samjh ke dorte hain. Mugalta khate hain, tarpte hain. Log kehte hain ret ret hai paani nahi bun sakti. Aur kuch dana log is ret ko paani samjhne ki galti nahi kerte. Woh log dana hon ge, lekin main kehta hun, jo log ret ko paani samjhne ki galti nahi kerte - unki piyaas main zaroor koi kasar ho gi!"...

(From Amrita pritam book "Raseedi Ticket" describing a persian poem)

2 purani nasihataiN

Pehle zamane main jub lurki bihai jaati thi to use ghar wale do batain kehte the (filmoN main bhi ye jumle bohat sune).

Aik to ye ke: "Ab susral se tumhari laash hi nikalni chahiye"! (wow)
Dusri ye ke: "Mehka aur susral 2 band mutthioN ki tarah hai - dono alag hi rahain to behtar hai"

Aur main sochta tha kiya bakwas hai!

Lekin ab lagta hai buzurg itne galat bhi nahi the. Pehli baat ye ke aesa nahi tha ke unhe apni beti se muhabbat nahi hoti thi magar 'message' ye tha ke susral main 'issues' hote hain magar har baat pe ruth ke mehke aa jaana aqalmandi nahi. Dusri baat ye thi ke mehke aake susral ki burai kerna bhi koi achhi baat nahi.

Ali Haider

This blog is about how people reacts differently to events of life. Its about human relationships and stories from everyday life. It was little shocking when I came to know that Ali Haider (whose songs purani jeans, khushi aai bare din baad etc were my favorites) - has quit music and became a maulvi!

I think it was all his psychological reaction to one distressing event of life but should I be judgemental? 

The American

As I am on my spell of watching movies, I went to see "The American" - only because it stars George Clooney despite negative reviews.

No doubt it is a very slow movie. Its a drag and not a movie to watch on weekend night! - but theme is very interesting. It reminded me of Urdu short story writer Ghulam Abbas!

George Clooney (Jack) is a professional gunman who makes/delivers customised sharp shooters' guns. He has many enemies. Inside he is himself not very happy with his work but his life is like a butterfly taking him from one place to another place. Somewhere along the way he falls in love with a prostitute! and finally decides to settle down at one place with one woman leaving his criminal world - But if one's fate is to be butterfly - Alas! you can't get away from destiny - doesn't matter how smarter you are than enemy.

See trailer here.

Get low

If you like off beat movies and if you have time - go and see "Get Low". (BTW: I was the only person in whole theatre)

It is a love story but with different beat. It is a story of a man who banished himself from life for 40 years - little away from his own home town. But twist is - he is still little okha (stubborn) and still as smart as before. Town is full of creepy stories about him. Finally he decide to listen to all those gossips about himself but in a strange away. He invites people to his own funeral. But in actuality he wants to put his heart out to tell people a dark secret he is carrying inside and to tell why he self exiled himself from life.

Watch trailer here

Year's End by Jhumpa Lahiri

Jhumpa Lahiri remained one of my most favourite short story writer from second generation American-Indians. When I started reading her last collection of short stories "Unaccustomed Earth" I felt like she has lost touch but when I reached her story "Year's End" I found same old Jhumpa Lahiri who touches the depth of human emotions and psychology. What attached me to her writings are her characters of Desi Origin. I see my kids growing up in this country. I see myself in her stories.

"Year's End" is a story of a young semi-ABCD Bengali boy named Kaushik. His mother died of breast cancer and he internalized that sorrow. Now his father gets married to another woman, brought from back home and he suddenly end up in a house with 2 step-sisters. His hidden anger towards his father and her new mother but simultaneously his affection towards 2 girls is well described. Suddenly he blew out one evening and left home - that night change him forever and how he remained lost till his death (which is actually in another story).

With his father: "We were stating facts and at the same time arguing, an argument whose depths only he and I could fully comprehend"

With Girls: "I sensed that they needed me to guard them, as I needed them, from the growing, incontrovertible fact that Chitra and my father now formed a couple. My presence was proof that my mother had once existed, just as they represented the physical legacy of their dead father.......They never spoke of their own father, but one night I woke up to the sound of Piu
screaming, locked inside a nightmare, asking for her Baba again and again".

At the end when he had last meaningful conversation with his father (like losing his father too): "And without our having to say it, I knew we were both thankful to Chitra for chafing under whatever lingered of my mother's spirit in the place she has last called home and for forcing us to shut its doors".

Raj Kapoor or Dilip Kumar?

Bollywood remained divided on the claim that in the immediate post-independence era - who was the better actor? - Dilip or Raj Kapoor. For a long time, I remained convinced that Raj Kapoor was better than Dilip, but as I continue to mature in life, I can see why Dilip is heralded as a bigger actor. See the following clip - Dilip has 'control' that all other actors lack in Bollywood, including Raj Kapoor, Amitabh, or today's SRK (he is dying to get it). The only person who comes close in today's Bollywood for this quality is Ajay Devgan (though not very good looking he survived on this quality).

 

Lurki aur khamoshi

Hamari bari Apa (my first cousin) apne abbu ki ikloti thiN is liye sir charhi thiN. Hamari Dadi unhe aksar nasihat kiya kartin ke: "Lurki ka sab se bara gun uski khamoshi hota hai" (Girl's biggest virtue is her silence).

Main apne aap ko bara 'liberal' samjhta tha aur buzurgoN ki aesi baton ko daqyanusi samjhta tha magar ab aadhi zindagi guzarne ke baad lagta hai ke dadi sahi kehti thiN.

2 inner wolves

(I have posted this before on blog 2/3 years ago. But I think this is an important lesson in life to get reminded again and again).


One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son, the battle is between 2 wolves inside us all."

"One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego."

"The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather Which wolf wins?

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

Aulad se mohabbat - aik sawal

Kiya ye sach hai ke - insaan 'adopted kids' se woh mohabbat kubhi bhi nahi ker sakta jo use apne batan se paida hone wali aulad se hoti hai?

(Mujeh to aesa nahi lagta magar log yahi kehte hain)

Bura Waqt

Har insaan ki zindagi main achhe bure dinoN ka 'roller coaster' chalta rehta hai. Achha waqt to asani se kut jaata hai magar bure waqt ka aik aik lamha giraN hota hai - Magar jis bure waqt ki tapish se insaan main sach bolne ki quwwat na aaye woh waqt siwaye bojh dhaane aur mazdoori ke kuch nahi!

Ajeeb apni ye zindagi hai!

I am putting this song on this blog as it coincides with theme of this blog. It is sung by a relatively new artist from Karachi named Javeria (for a TV serial I guess) but I think poetry, music and her voice impressed me (and its not easy to impress me!)

Ajeeb apni ye zindagi hai -
sameto jitna, bikhar rahi hai
hum aik pal ko bhi jee na paye
(aur) ye lamha lamha guzar rahi hai

Predictably Irrational

I wanted to write this post for a while. I was lucky to get introduced to this book: "Predictably Irrational" by Dan Ariely. This is one of the most interesting books I have read so far and finished almost in one sitting.

This book talks about how psychology plays part in carving human economy, not only at personal level but at corporate as well as global level. How everything including emotions are relative to each other. How advertisements fool our brian. Why its easty to buy $3000 TV but hard to pay $2 on item at store! What's wrong with whole idea of demand and supply. One interesting chapter is all about power of "zero". How human brain get deceive by concept of free. Why people get intimidate by hard cash.

How social relationships get screwed when money finds it way into it. He says: we like to believe and behave like social but caring animals but how our inside animal comes out when things go on sale! How our decision power changes when we are 'high'! Why 'procrastination' soothes human mind. How we value our belongings more than it deserve in market ("Virtual Ownership") and play havoc with us!

Why keeping options open is not a great idea. How it hurts when we don't decide and let life take with us. It talks about power of expectations and price. Why restaurants price one dish so expensive knowing nobody gonna order it (because people will order second most expensive with psychology of having best but not wanting to pay too much...lol)

It tells us how corruption at individual level effects whole system. Why we feel comfortable getting free stuff from work. How it hurts when people return stuff in departmental store unethically. It teaches us trust, power of distrust and honesty.

I granted Dan Ariely the rutba of babaji!

Cash!

Cash is the most popular religion. (annonymous)

Sufi Baba Warren Buffett's says

Babaji Warren Buffett says:

The power of unconditional love. I mean, there is no power on earth like unconditional love. And I think that if you offered that to your child, I mean you’re 90 percent of the way home. There may be days when you don’t feel like it, it’s not uncritical love, that’s a different animal, but to know you can always come back, that is huge in life. That takes you a long, long way. And I would say that every parent out there that can extend that to their child at an early age, it’s going to make for a better human being.

Read full story here

lost

Tum mujh se poochte ho na ke main shadi kiun nahi kerti to sun lo - meri kahani sirf aik 'line' ki hai.

"Main aath(8) baras ki thi. Aik din mere abbu kaam se ghar wapas nahi aaye. Us din se mujeh rishtoN ki sabati pe aitabar nahi raha!"

The Thorn Birds

Few novels have changed my perception or understanding of the intrigue of human relationships and life. "The Thorn Birds" is one of them. It took a while to finish this book as I was simultaneously watching a TV serial made out of it (said to be the most popular TV serial after 'Roots').

The plot revolves around a life of a girl called Meggie who falls in love with a much older person who is a handsome priest and is not allowed to marry a woman. The basic theme of the novel revolves around human's constant fight with God and the pain of losing loved ones and trying to figure out - Why me? Is God merciful? It is a story of human integrity, ambitions, the power of religion, love, lust, triangles of relationships, realizations, and accepting life as it is. It is a tale of how a woman never forgets her first love and sometimes suffers forever, how a boy cannot accept a stepfather, and how a mother loves one child more than another and creates a rebellious teen. And, How a man's ambitions can't see eye to eye with a woman's desire.

Just putting two quotes here:

1) Ralph de Bricassart (Priest): [telling the legend of the thorn bird to Meggie] There's a story... a legend, about a bird that sings just once in its life. From the moment it leaves its nest, it searches for a thorn tree... and never rests until it's found one. And then it sings... more sweetly than any other creature on the face of the earth. And singing, it impales itself on the longest, sharpest thorn. But, as it dies, it rises above its own agony, to outsing the lark and the nightingale. The thorn bird pays its life for just one song, but the whole world stills listen, and God in his heaven smiles.

Young Meggie Cleary: What does it mean, Father?

Ralph de Bricassart: That the best... is bought only at the cost of great pain.

2) After the big fire at Drogheda, which kills Maggie's father and brother

Grown-up Meggie Cleary: That dear and gentle God who has taken from me everyone that I've loved most in the world. One by one. Frank, and Hal... and Stuie... and my father. And you, of course. Always you. If God is merciful... left me no one else to grieve.

Ralph de Bricassart: He is merciful, I know you can't see that now, but he is. He spared the rose. He sent the rain.

Meggie Cleary: (Sarcasm) Oh Ralph... who sent the fire?

Wikipedia link

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7 sisters, A bhai and Greek mythology - 2

"Will you believe if I tell you I am pregnant despite being on birth control. I believe I am getting my brother back"!

Tu Shia Main Sunni

(one true incident from a life of a person)

"...I may never forget the incident while I was a kid...... an eleven or twelve years old. We were trapped in a relatives house when violence erupted in one part of the Karachi..We were total 7 kids(I was the eldest one) & five ladies inside the house...the youngest one was only few months old.The smoke from the teargas shell was all over the place & all of us had wet towels in our hands. Then suddenly we heard people climbing on the rooftopย yelling " Shia ka gher hay aag laga do".

They did not even realized that victims were few innocent children & women. They started throwing stones inside the house. Our mom, grandmother & aunt put their hands on the mouth of all the children. Our eyes were burning & we were like dead corpse.... nobody was crying; not even my infant brother. There was pin drop silence, then we heard someone saying "lagta hay ghar ke under koi nahee hay, aag lagana beykaar hay".

They stayed on the roof for sometime.....then we heard a police van & some firing in the air & all of them vanished. We remained inside the house for many hours & then police helped us to get out of the affected area.."

7 sisters, A bhai and Greek mythology

(An email reply I received after a 29 year old brother of my colleague died in a car accident. He was youngest of seven sisters).

"I am a very christian person. I go and take my kids to church every Sunday. I asked, cried and protested to God without any answer. They say Greeks have a word for everything, and there is no human situation the Greeks didn't describe.The Greeks say it's a sin against the Gods to love something beyond all reason. Our love killed him. We are seven sisters and he was our only brother. And when someone is loved so, the Gods become jealous, and strike the object down in the very fullness of its flower. There's a lesson in it. Its profane to love too much..."

Lower Middle Class

Zindagi main kum hi baap apni aulad ka haat tham ke rote honge or maafi mangte honge. Hum Karachi ke aik neechle mutawassat (lower middle class) ilaqe main reehaish-pazeer hain. Abbu ki bank main aik naukri hai. Hum 4 bhai-bahen hain - sub parhte hain. Bari mushkil se sufed-poshi ka bharam qaaim hai. Abbu hum logon ko rozana choti choti khushioN ke liye tarasta dekhte hain. Aik sham hamari sab se choti laadli ne pizza hut jaane ki zid ki.. Hum sab 'living room' main bethe the. Abbu ka dil bhar aaya. Abbu bilak bilak ke rone lage. Abbu ne mera haat thama aur kehne lage:

"Aesa nahi ke mujeh tum logoN ki khushioN ka aehsas nahi.. Jaanta hun tum sab ka bhi dil kerta hai ke mobile phone hoN. Naye computer hoN. Pizza hut, McDonald jao. Baqi logoN ki tarah achhe kupre pehno. Meri betiyoN ko rozana subah bus stop pe jin nazroN ka samna kerna parta hai uska bhi aehsas hai magar kiya karun. Woh himmat kahan se laaun jis se log haram ka paisa kama lete hain. Mere bachhon mujeh maaf ker do ke main is mehngai aur zaalim zamane main tum logon ke liye kuch nahi ker sakta...."

Aik choti se prem kahani

(Shared by an old friend. We met after many years and spend hours catching up)

"Main pakistan se F1 visa pe aya. Student life ka zamana bahut mushkil tha. Aik waqt woh bhi tha jub bread ke saath ketchup sandwich bananae ke liye ketchup McDonald se free uthaya kerta. Pehli baar jub meri biwi ko main khana khilane le gaya (before marriage) to - I told her: 'Look! I have only 5 dollars so we need to be selective in menu'.

Shadi ki 15th anniversary pe main ne apni biwi ko 50,000 dollars ki ring gift ki. Yes I have made tons of money later in real estate business. Main ne apni biwi se poocha" 'Lunch pe kahan chalo gi?' She said: 'Usi jagah jahan pehli dafa 5 dollars ki date ki thi'!

Spiritual teaching and life

Yaad nahi parta ke is blog pe ye baat kubhi likhi ya nahi magar jawani main jub apne daheriye (atheist) khayalat ke baad main sufism ki taraf maail hua (kher ab to us ka bhi shaibaa kum ho chuka) - to aik baat sikhi aur zindagi ke kai mor pe woh baat sach saabit hui ke:

"Zindagi main pehle ilm naazil hota hai, phir tajarba warid hota hai aur phir dubara ilm aata hai us ki toseeh kerne"

"In Spriritual teaching of life first knowledge gets revealed to a man, than comes experience from events and than comes knowledge again to attest it"

(Spooky..weird..confusing..??)

Kupre

Daro us mard se jise kupre pahenne ka aur us aurat se jise kupre utarne ka shoq lug jaaye!

MohabbatoN ka safar

"Jitni muhabbat ma baap aulad se kerte hain, utni mohabbat aulad kubhi bhi ma baap se nahi ker sakti. Aesa kiun hota hai?"

"Kiun ke qudrat ke kaarkhane main har cheez aage chalti hai. Afaq ki is kaar-gahe sheesha-gari main jahan chand, taare, suraj, sayyare sab aik hisab se hain wahin insaani rishtoN main jazbaat ki tapish ko bhi aik khas andaze se gondha gaya hai! Waaldain ka aehtraam aur burhape main unka khayal laazim hai magar mohabbat ki aag agar ulti chal parti to shayed is kaainaat main kun faya kun ki jo saadain aa rahi hain woh tham si jaatiN. Ooper wale ke har amal main koi hikmat pinha hai aur us ke kaam bare nirale hain".

What a happy man!

Somebody posted this desi video on youtube. There is something magical about this video. This old man has a simple bicycle somewhere (or nowhere) in the fields of India or Pakistan. But he sounds so content without money singing this classic old Indian song.

Saima ke Sawal

Saima hum se poochti hai ke use kiya kerna chahiye? - koi batlaye ke ham batlaiN kiya?

Saima ke sawal mukhtasar zaroor hain magar mushkil hain. Saima jub America aai to sirf 5 baras ki thi. Yahin ke ma'hol main rach bas gai. Jub 17 baras ki thi to uski zindagi main aik chota sa waqiya huwa. Aik 'saturday night' night club ke baad woh aik Pakistani ke ghar ther gai aur ha'amila (pregnant) ho gai. 

- It was a one night stand which turned into a nightmare. 

Us ne 'abortion' kerwane se inkaar ker diya. Ghar walon ne us waqt ki choti si 'Pakistani community' main izzat bachane ke liye use LA se Florida bhej diya. Wahan aik hospital main aik khubsurat bachhi ko janam dene ke baad usne bachhi ko adoption main de diya. Jis OB/Gyn ne use treat kiya usi ne bachhi ko adopt ker liya. Bachhi ke behtar mustaqbil ki khatir us ne ye karwa ghunt pi liya - and she moved on with her life. Is baat ko 22 baras guzar gaye.

Now she has a prosperous life with a loving husband and 2 nice kids. She has a beautiful house in the suburb with Lexus RX 470 and Audi 6 in driveway.

Saima mujh se 2 sawal poochti hai. Pehle sawal ka jawab to mere paas hai magar dusre ka nahi. Pehla sawal ye hai ke kiya ab use apni beti se 'contact' kerna chahiye? Saima beti ke qahar se darti hai magar mera khayal hai ke use phir bhi apni bachhi se zaroor 'contact' kerna chahiye.

Dusre sawal ka jawab mere paas nahi hai. Woh ab bhi us shaks ko jaanti hai jis ke nutfe se uski beti ne janam liya. Kiya use us shaks ko batana chahiye ke uski koi aik beti bhi hai. Us shaks ki apni aik aasuda zindagi hai. Aesa kerne se 2 abad khandan barbad ho sakte haiN. Saima kehti hai mera shohar mujh se bohat mohabbat kerta hai magar ander se woh bhi tumhari tarah aik kamina Pakistani mard hai!

kisi ki aankh agar jo num nahi hai
ye na samjho ke usko gum nahi hai

Dollar vs Rupee

Jub main naya naya America aaya to NY main aik hyderabadi Indian family ke saath PG (Paying Guest) rehta tha. Bare nafees aur piyar kerne waale log the. Mujh main us zanmane main "Pakistaniat" kut kut ke bhari hui thi. Aap use "black Patriotism" keh sakte hain. Basheer Bhai Indra Gandhi ke fan the. Hamari khub bahes hoti magar un ke piyar main zara farq na aata. Hamare saath aik aur hyderabadi larka - Ashok rehta tha. Har raat sone se pehle apne bache kuche paise (change) khirki ke paas chor deta - jo ya to basheer bhai ki beti school jaate le jati ya phir dinoN wahin pare rehte. Main Pakistan se naya naya aaya tha - aur din main jub ghar pe koi nahi hota - un paisoN ko gin ker sochta - Pakistani rupoN main kitne banaiN ge? Aur hairat se sochta: "Itne paise aese kiun chor dena?"

Aik din main ne Ashok se kaha: "Tum agar ye paise jor ke rakho to India/Pakistan ke mahine ke koi 1000/2000 rupe ho jaayain".

Meri baat sun ke Ashok zor zor se hasne laga. Kehne laga: "Yaar paisoN se, aur woh bhi khulle paison se itna piyar nahi kerte. Tum barsoN is mulk main raho ge. Meri aadat daal lo, zindagi asan ho jaaye gi".

Main ne Poocha: "Kesi adat?"

Kehne laga: "Dollar ko dollar ki jagah rupe bolte raho. Kharch kerna asan ho jaaye ga. Aur Nuqsan se takleef bhi kum ho gi"

Yaqeen kijye - woh din aur aaj ka din - main ab bhi dollar ko rupe/paise keh ker bulata hun. Aur mere liye zindagi kafi sahel ho gai hai. Main ab 2.99 aur 3.99 ka ziyada hisab nahi kerta! Aur 499 ka iPad khareed ke ziyada takleef nahi hoti!

3 AdalataiN

Is Duniya main 3 tarah ki adalatain hoti hain.

Aik to woh jahan court kacheriaN sajti hain. WakeeloN ki bahes hoti hai. Jhoote sachhe gawah pesh hote haiN. Kubhi begunah ko phansi bhi lag jaati hai. Jahan "sood-o-ziaN" ka karobar hota hai.

Dusri adalat woh hai jo kehte hain ooper wale ki hai. Mujh jese daheriye ke liye to pata nahi hoti bhi ya nahi - ya kubhi hogi bhi ke nahi. Aese faisloN ka koi kiya kare jub chirya chuk gai khet. Allah mian bhi naa....

Magar aik adalat aesi hai jo hum insaanoN ke beech hoti hai. Jahan darguzar ka qanoon chalta hai. Jahan jeetne ki khuwahish nahi hoti. Jahan kamine dil ka raj chalta hai. Jahan baqol faiz: "Jese bimar ko bewajah qarar aa jaye" ki mantiq chalti hai. Is adalat main nuqsan paane se ziyada kisi aur ko nuqsan na paunchaane ka andesah khayye jaata hai.....

Rub hi jaane - insaani rishtoN ki is khencha taani main kaun si adalat hum jese insaaon ke naqsh ki shokhiye tehreer hai!

Humeesha

Some people continue to amaze you. I know Suroor for about 4 years now as a prolific English writer but when she send me following in Urdu 'rasmul-khat' I was amazed. Unfortunately I was unable to get Urdu fonts. Interestingly, she can write with similar flow in Arabic. I guess! few people are just God gifted!


Humeesha

Zindagi ke dhool paRhe kuch panne palaTte huay
Kal ek jagah par meri ungliyaan thum si gaeen

Ek waqt se peeley huay panne par
Tumhara naam kabhi naKHoon se khooda hua tha

Kab, Kiyoon, kahaan? Yeh to yaad nahin
Aur yaad karne ki ab ijazat bhi nahin

Bohat bar chahaa ke tanhai ke andheroon mein
Main apne he nakhoonoon se tumhare naam ko khurach Daloon

Magar phir Khoon se bhare naKHoon goud mein rakh kar
Main rukh jaya karti hoon

Kiya yehi meri Kismat hai, keh tum humeesha
Meri zindagi ka ek dard or khoon se bhara hissa bane raho ge?

2 tarah ke insaan

Duniya main 2 tarah ke inssan hote hain. Aik woh jinhe is baat main 'interest' hota hai ke woh logoN se kiya le sakte hain. Dusre woh - jinhe is baat main 'interest' hota hai ke woh logoN ko kiya de sakte hain.

Meri Dua hai - tum dusri tarah ke insaan bano!

Shagoon

Kiya tum "shagoon" (omens) ko maante ho?

Hame to yaqeen nahi aata tha magar ab lagta hai - jub hamare buzurgh kehte the ke "Naik shagoon ya bud-shagoon" (Good or bad omen) to woh sirf purane ya daqyanusi khayalat nahi hote the magar un main kuch na kuch haqeeqat zaroor hoti thi.

Fariya

"Tum kitne kutte ho na" !

Jub woh mujh se ye jumla kehti thi to us ke laboN main dabi dabi muskurahat bari piyari lagti thi aur mujeh bhi hasi aa jati thi. Fariya se meri mulaqat pehli baar 'MD Anderson' main hui thi. Main Residency ka elective kerne Chicago se Houston gaya tha. Fariya wahan ke coffee shop main kaam kerti thi. Woh India se aai thi. Main 2 mahine wahan raha. Fariya se roz mulaqat hoti. Roz main use chehrne ke liye kehta - 'Aaj bhi coffee main taste nahi hai' aur woh mujh se kehti: "tum kitne kutte ho na"! Aur hum dono has dete..

Fariya ki kahani bari mukhtasar thi. Use America aane ka shoq tha. India se aik din bhag ke yahan aa gai. Ghar walo ne rishta tor liya. Yahan rishtedaroN ne mun mor liya. Ab akeli thi. Womens' hostel main rehti thi aur akele akele job kerti thi. Kehti thi paise jama ker rahi hun. Kuch paise ho jaain to college jaun gi. Magar mujeh us ki kahani main koi interest na tha. Aesi kahanian un dinoN roz hi America main sunne milti thi. Mujeh to us ki bus muskurahat bari piyari lagti thi. Jis chahat se coffee banati aur jis piyar se woh logoN ko 'serve' kerti - cancer ke dardnak marz main mubtla mareezoN ko jese nai zindagi de deti.

2 mahine baad main Chicago aa gaya. Us zamane main cell phone to hote nahi the. Chicago se nikalte huwe apni land line main ne disconnect kerwa di thi. Main ne Fariya ko apne hospital ka pager # de diya tha. Is baat ko koi saal guzar gaya aur phir 'from nowhere' Fariya ne mujeh page kiya. Fariya ki awaz bari kamzor thi. Fariya ko renal cell carcinoma ho gaya tha aur usi MD Anderson main ilaj kerwa rahi thi. Kehne lagi: 'Agar zinda na rahun to meri aik amanat kisi ko paunchani hai'. Pehli baar usne apne womens' hostel ka room # mujeh bataya. Meri ICU ki rotation chal rahi thi. Mujeh Houston jaane main mahina lag giya.

Main womens' hostel pauncha to pata chala Fariya hospital main admit hai. Us ne mazeed ilaj kerwane se inkar ker diya tha aur hospice main admit thi. Sir ke baal utar chuke the. Gaalon ki hadiyan bahir nikal aayi thi. Jub main ne use pehli baar dekha to mera dimag sun ho gaya. Ye woh Fariya nahi thi jise main chor ke gaya tha. Saath kursi pe betha to usne apni bag se aik khat nikala. Kehne lagi: "ye khat meri maut ke baad mere parents ko mail ker dena. Andar kuch nahi, muaafi ke do lafz hain". Us ne mujh se poocha: "Main har sunday tumhe phone karungi. Jis sunday mera phone na aaye, samjh lena main ab nahi rahi. Mera ye kaam karoge na?" Main ne kaha: "Nahi". Kehne lagi: "Tum kitne kutte ho na"!

Main ne chalte huwe use bataye bagair nursing station pe apna contact chor diya. Mere Chicago aane ke aik mahine baad Fariya is jahane Fani se kuch ker gai. Main family emergency ka bahana ker ke Houston aaya. Hospice walon ne khud hi funeral ka bandobast ker liya. Paise 'pay' huwe ya nahi maalum nahi - magar Fariya ke funeral main main wahid aadmi tha. Usne kisi rishtedar ya dost ka koi contact nahi chora tha. Shayed woh to sirf muskurahat bantna janti thi dukh nahi. Jub Fariya ko qabar main utar rahe the to mujeh laga uski muskurahat wapas aa gai ho aur mujh se keh rahi ho: "Tum kitne kutte hona. Yahan bhi aa gaye"!

Main ne Fariya ka khat aik choti si tehreer ke saath India mail ker diya. Aaj Fariya ki 15th death anniversary hai. Fariya ki kahani kahin nahi likhi jaaye gi magar jo muskurahat woh logoN ko baantti thi uski khusbu hamesah logoN ke diloN ko mehkati rahe gi.

Yes Fariya I miss you sometimes and yes I do miss your coffee!

Sex and Marriage

If sex is good, marriage is 10% good. If sex is bad 90% of marriage is ruined.

(Read somewhere)

Time - Linear or circular?

Jub hum barwihN jamat (grade 12) main the to hamara aik mazmoon huwa kerta tha - 'Modern physics'. Hamare Physics ke ustad kehte the:

"Hum sochte hain ke 'waqt' sirf aage chalta hai magar is qaainat main 'waqt' dusri tawaniyoN ki tarah har taraf pehla huwa hai. 'Waqt' ka aik daira hai jo 'infinite' hai. Hum sab is 'waqt' main beh rahe hain. Hum aik hi saath - guzri sadioN main bhi rehte hain aur mustaqbil main bhi. Hame is ka aehsas nahi hota magar waqt ke is dhare main - na to hum aage hain aur na hi peeche!"

??

Dil to bachha hai ji

If you like good quality movies - don't miss "Ishqiya" of Naseeruddin Shah, Vidiya Balan and Arshad Warsi (all my 3 favorites are together). Lyrics are from Gulzar. I loved 2 songs from that movie - one "Ibne Batuta - bagal main juta". Listen this other song "Dil to bachha hai" (sung by a Pakistani singer Rahat Fateh Ali Khan)

Chloe

Once I was addicted to movies but than - karobare-zindagi ne fursat kum ker di. But still if I get chance I go and see movies. This weekend I had a cousin visiting and we went to see sexually charged canadian thriller "Chloe" (Warning: It has lesbian content too). But once you get over with sexual parts - underlying few themes of movie are very strong and very life related.

Mid life crisis is a very real thing and it may strike you very hard - doesn't matter how successful you are in worldly matters. Secondly, spousal relationship is based more on communication than anything. Once communication starts evaporating, trust and love goes out fast AND when both of these strike together - human mind end up doing bizarre thing like a very normal human being end up sleeping with her/his own gender!

Another theme touched very subtly in this movie reminded me of a sufism - ishq ki inteha chahta hun. Chloe end up sleeping with her lover's son because his eyes and lips reminded her of lover.....

chloe trailer

P.S: If you like psychological thrillers - than don't miss Shutter Island - Its a must see

Laaii Hayat Aaye Qaza le chali chale

One of my all time breathtaking ghazal of Ustad Ibrahim Zauq sung so well by Bhupinder Singh. It has real human psychological reaction towards death. One shair of this ghazal is my favorite which is not in video

Kum honge is bisat pe hum jese bud-qimar

jo chaal hum chale so nihayat buri chale

What not to do

Zindagi main aksar "Kiya kerna chahiye" se ziyada ye janna zaroori hai ke "kiya nahi kerna chahiye"

(Sometime in life its more important to know "What not to do" than to know "What to do").

Troubles of Muslims

On troubles of muslims I think this is the best quote I ever heard:

"Hamara har safar madine ki taraf shuru hota hai aur hum har dafa kufe ki taraf ja nikalte hain" - Urdu short story writer Intizar Hussain

7 uncles, liver failure and 'Mayyat ki izzat'

On Medicine, Cultural barriers and Ethics.

"My last uncle (mamu) died today. I had 7 uncles (Mamus). My first uncle died at age of 42 when I was 7 years old and than later one by one each died every 5 to 7 years in line. One of my uncle was computer engineer and he moved to USA years ago. He was diagnosed of liver failure when he died. Later in Pakistan 3 uncles died of same diagnosis. None were alcoholic and interestingly all workup turned negative on youngest uncle but he died today with same diagnosis. He complained of fever, headache and not feeling well for few days. Thats it! On his death I suggested taking his liver out and send to Pathology. If we get diagnosis we may save a whole lot of people in next generation. For me it was a no brainer but elders in family refused on the ground that "Bhai hum mayyat ki behurmati nahi kerwa sakte" .

Children of a lesser God

Life is not fair. This blog is about how life presents differently to different people. Following is taken from internet. Without comment.

" I am the oldest of five children by four different fathers. My mother emotionally and physically abused all of us, but I received special attention. She told me how worthless I was and how much she hated me. When I was 12, my mother put the two youngest children up for adoption. I was placed in foster care and have had little contact with the family. I'm now happily married and have a successful career and caring friends. Through much introspection and the assistance of a good therapist, I have been at peace for many years—until recently. The two siblings who were placed for adoption found me a few months ago through a social-networking Web site. It turns out they have been in constant communication with my mother for several years. Neither of them recalls their early life, and I am hesitant to talk about it. I haven't heard much from the brother, but the sister calls frequently. She desperately wants us to be one big happy family. I have repeatedly told her that can't happen. Conversations with her leave me depressed, and I've started avoiding her calls. Childhood memories have resurfaced. I find myself caught up in that "worthless loop," and then I feel guilty for not being able to let bygones be bygones. The siblings and I don't have anything in common besides blood. What do I owe them? How do I handle this?

—Not in the Family Way"

Source: here

3 Rules

I am lucky in the sense that I met many interesting people in life (or probably I have this psychological dyslexia of noticing them more). When we were in grade 6, we had a relatively young teacher. On first day he told his 3 rules in class......

Rule no. 1 - "I Rule"
Rule no. 2 - "When I speak, no one else speak"
Rule no. 3 - "When you speak, only you speak"

(Is class main sirf mera qanoon chale ga. Jub main bolunga to sirf main bolun ga magar jub aap bolain ge tub sirf aap bolain ge)

tazad!

Ye bhi aik ajeeb baat hai. Aik hi ghar main rehne wale do bachhe - aik hi school, aik hi ustad, aik hi waaldain, aik hi bhai bahen, aik hi mohalla, aik hi yaar dost, aik hi mahol - magar aik bachha bara ho ker Daheriya (atheist) ho jaata hai aur dusre ko mazhab ka heza ho jaata hai.

What kind of difference have I made!

One of my all time favorite movie: "About Schmidt". Following scene of Jack Nicholson has been regarded as one of his best work done. Indeed it is worth listening!




"Dear Ndugu,- you'll be glad to know that Jeannie's wedding came off without a hitch. Right now, she and Randall are on their way to sunny Orlando,- on my nickle, of course. As for me, I'm headed back to Omaha. I'm driving straight through this time, and I've made only one stop. The impressive new archer over the interstate in Corney, Nebraska. An arch that commemorates the courage and determination of - the pioneers who cross the state on their way west. You've really got to see it to believe it. And it... kind of got me thinking, - looking at all that history and, reflecting on the achievement - of people long ago kind of...put things into perspective. My trip to Denver, for instance is so insignificant compared to - the journeys that others have taken, - the bravery that they have shown, - the hardships they've endured. I know we are all pretty small in the big scheme of things. And I supposed the most you can hope for - is to make some kind of difference. What... what kind of difference have I made? What in the world is better because of me? When I was out in Denver, I tried to do the right thing,- tried to convince Jeannie, she was...making a big mistake but...I failed. Now she is married to that lincoln poop and there is nothing I can do about it. I am... weak. And I am a failure. There is just no getting around it. Relatively soon, I will die. Maybe in 20 years... maybe tomorrow...It doesn't matter. Once I am dead, and everyone who knew me dies too, a little - be as though I never even existed. What difference is my life made to anyone ? None that I can think of. None... at all. Hope things are fine with you. Yours truly... Warren Schmidt.

Master Ayub!

The ability to say No!

I took my son for Karate class. As they finished their class they all have free packets of juice. My son bypassed the table to exit. I ask him to get juice box. He said: "No!'. I insisted again: "Take it beta! its free". He again said: "No!". His karate teacher was standing there. He interjected: "Its good. He knows to say No!"

survivor

Fareed Khan se meri mulaqat Chicago main hui. Koi 3 baras meri Fareed Khan se salam dua rahi. Ajeeb hi rang ka aadmi tha.

Kubhi T shirt pahen ke Chicago ki sardi main nikal parta. Bus na aati to paidal hi meeloN chal leta. Gas station ki naukri chuti to 'cab' chalani shuru ker di. Kuch dinoN baad kisi posh restaurant main 'bartender' ho gaya. Jitni sharab pila do hawas gum nahi hota. Ji kerta to charas (weed) bhi pi leta. Magar saath hi kisi roz masjeed main imamat kerne wala na milta to ye bhi ker deta. Angrezi bolta to pata na lagta ke peshawar se aaya hai. Aap ne idhar challenge kiya aur dusre roz lurki uske saath coffee pi rahi hai.

Aik din kafi lurke saath jama ho gaye aur raat sone ki jagah na mili to kitchen ke farsh pe aaram se so gaya. Aik din shor macha diya ke 'Ab sab bahir niklo bhook lagi hai'. Hum McDonald se drive thru le ker nikle to apna bag homeless ko thama diya aur phir poore din shikayat na ki ke bhook lagi hai.....Hum se aksar kehta: Is bhook, piyas, sardi, garmi, bimari wagera pe ziyada dhiyan nahi dena chahiye zindagi ka maza kharab ho jaata hai!

Zindagi main yahi hasrat rahi ke kisi roz phir mulaqat ho to us se poochun ke Zindagi main aese kis kare waqt se guzra - ke ab use koi mushkil - mushkil nahi lagti - bulke use zindagi aik khel lagti thi. Baqol Ghalib

Ranj se khugar hua insaN to mit jata hai ranj
mushkileiN mujh par pari itni ke asaN ho gain

Security

I gave a bedtime story to my daughter of pretty princess taken away by evil and dragons to 'Koh-Qaff' and rescued by a good hearted magician. I thought she is sleeping. But after 30 minutes I saw her eyes wide open and she is starring at wall. Here is the conversation:

"Gurya! you didn't sleep?"
"Can I ask you something"
"Sure, anything for my princess"
"Am I pretty?"
"Of course! you are the most pretty girl"
"So I will be taken away by evil and dragons?"
"Hmmmm. Even if evil and dragons come to get you, Daddy will always be there to protect you..."
"Promise?"
"Pakka promise. 100%"

There was a sense of relief on her face and I found her sleeping in 2 minutes.....

Sab se bara dukh?

Hum sab dost jub is 'saturday night' saath mil bethe to guftagu is sawal pe chal nikli ke, 'duniya ka sab se bara dukh kiya hai?'

Main ne kaha - Aulad ki bimari ya aulad ke mar jaane ka dukh,
kisi ne kaha - Ma baap ki bimari ka dukh,
kisi ne kaha - apne apahaj (handicap) ho jaane ka dukh,
Kisi ne kaha - apne hi burhape ka dukh,
kisi ne kaha - tanhaii ka gum
kisi ne kaha - ishq ka dukh

raat 2 baje tuk sab par ke so rahe magar koi faisla na huwa....

Asim Butt - 2

(From Ahsan Butt)

We are working to document and catalogue Asim’s work and require the help of his friends and all those who communicated with, loved and respected him. Please share whatever you can about him and his work, specifically communication you had with him including letters and emails no matter how trivial, pictures, notes, description of his work which you own, and any other information which would help us in putting together a comprehensive account of his life and work. We realise many might not feel comfortable sharing personal communications if they contain personal references, but any such correspondence is not for publication or dissemination and will only be used, if necessary, to derive an idea of the thinking which went into the making of his art. To ensure Asim is accorded his rightful place in the pantheon of Pakistani artists, and to show just how much we all loved him, please help us in preserving his memory for posterity.

Ali Dayan Hasan
ali.asimicus@gmail.com

Arif Pervaiz
arifpervaiz@gmail.com

kashtiyaN

Mujeh ye baat samjhne main bohat waqt laga ke kiun Tariq bin Ziyad ne apni saari kashtiyaN jala di thi!

On Husband Wife 'laraii'

Hamara bachpun kuch yun guzra ke saara khandan saath aik haveli main rahta. Bare Chacha aur Bari Chachi ki khub laraii hoti. Jub bhi unki laraii hoti Dadi hame le ker ghar ke aangan main aa bethti aur hame kahaniyan sunane lagti. Abba ya Amma main se koi kehta ke: "Amma aap hi in donoN ko samjhayain", to dadi jawab deti:

"Jub do mian biwi ki laraii ho rahi ho to sab se bari kher yahi hai ke un dono ko akela chor do ke ye muamla kisi ke bhi fahem se balatar hai" .