Saturday, December 04, 2010

Guilt!

(A true instance from my early days in USA)

I was on 15 hours bus ride on Grayhound going from Detroit to NY. I had 5 bucks left in my pocket. I didn't know what I would do if a person in Manhattan refuse to give me space. I had to save my bucks for subway rides in NY. It was Youngstown, Ohio where I could not take my hunger anymore and decide to spend  2 dollars to get a sandwich from a vending machine. As bus departs - I was shocked to see - by mistake I got Ham sandwich. Tears rolled over my eyes. I struggled for next 2/3 hours to debate should I eat pork. Finally I could not take it anymore and ate sandwich but that guilt haunted me for years till I develop intellectual strength to see I was right that day.

Andekhi quwatoN ke ghere main
InsaaN phir bhi kathere maiN

2 comments:

Rida said...

if u have some feelings of repentance on wat u did that day and u never tried to touch haraam again then have faith in ALLAH... he is the most gracious and most mecifull.

bsc said...

Yes you are right. That is the exact situation that is depicted in that Aya (or part of it) in S. Almaeda
"........but if any is forced by hunger, with no inclination to transgression, Allah is indeed oft-forgiving, most merciful"