A note on Sanju

This is little late as a movie was released a few weeks ago, and I think this was an attempt to damage control, fix the image, took the terrorist label off and portray Sanjay Dutt's personality in a positive way. I will not be surprised if he himself paid for this movie or director did this out of friendship.

Above said, in the end, this movie turned out to be more of a tribute to his father Sunil Dutt who despite against all odds of life, stayed firm in his character. Fighting life with son turned into a drug addict, wife dying of cancer, taking flakes for supporting and protecting minoriy as a city leader after Mumbai blasts, getting called a hidden Muslim as he was born in Pakistan, before partition. {This was actually a payback as Dutt's family was saved by a Muslim friend during 1947 migration}.

Though it was not mentioned in the movie Nargis fall in love with him and remained his true love till the end as he saved her from a raging fire broke out during the making of the film 'Mother India', another aspect of his brave character.

I had a discussion about his strong character with one of my friends. Sunil Dutt was born and raised as a farmer near Jhelum, Pakistan. Is this true that people who are more near to soil have more strength to their character in contrast to urbanites/city dwellers? 

How To Do Arranged Marriage Wrong (Especially Girls)

This is a cross-post.

 Mezba is originally from Bangladesh but now a hardcore Canadian. When I started doing blog in 2005, we informally had a group of desi bloggers and Mezba was one of my must-reads. Over the time, we all moved out in different directions with our blogs and lives, but still, I on and off go back and read his blog. Frequently, I don't agree with him but without any doubt, I enjoy his writings and perspectives. Following is one of his post, which you may find controversial but well written.

Read the whole post at the link. Here is just a gist.

"More and more it seems arranged marriages in the South Asian diaspora are becoming a type of "last resort". The boy has played the field and now wants some "domesticated girl" so turns to his mother for help. The girl has been with a boyfriend for so long but suddenly the mother of the said boyfriend decided her "golden boy" would be better off with someone she chose, and the boyfriend is too spineless to say otherwise, so now the girl is left looking for a poor sucker who has no idea where she has been before.

Now these people are in the same 'market' as the boy and girl who has kept away from any physical relationships, kept themselves pure and looking to get married, but finding it extremely difficult to do so."

Link: http://mezba.blogspot.com/2018/01/how-to-do-arranged-marriage-wrong.html

DODA

Recommended by Books and Stiletto on our previous post on 'street smartness'. Too good!!

Watched twice. This is where you say "LOL".

Youtube link: https://youtu.be/0qOBK1uD-1A

 

On "Street Smartness"

When we were growing up in Pak-land, we frequently heard that; it's not important to be 'book smart', it is important to be 'street smart'. I wondered about that for many years!

Now my take is that: There is no such thing as 'book smart' or 'street smart', but it is important to be 'ethics smart'. It does not matter what you read or what you do in life - it is important, you don't hurt any other human being or do things by unethical means.

I am very afraid that when people try to say, 'be street smart', it means 'JugaaR', '2 number kaam', 'patli gali'  etc etc. I lived, breath and moved in Pakistan, first 25 years of my life - and was known to all these very intimately (see Salahuddin). Unfortunately, 'street smart' is mostly a surrogate to 'unethical means'.

Abovesaid, It's good to be emotionally and intellectually wise to make proper inferences and decisions - and be smart to change/carve once path to have a happy life - but I get very wary when people use the term - 'street smart'. You can call it my psychological knot!

"Dukhi log"

Main ne duniya main do tarah ke dukhi log dekhe hain

Maana ke dukh bari zaalim cheez hai
 - Aulad ka dukh, ishq ka dukh, rozgaar ka dukh, hijrat ka dukh, apnoN se beechaR jaane ka duk, bimari ka dukh - aur aese laataadad dukh

Ye bhi maana - jese 'First Urdu Original Hippie Poet" (chacha Ghalib) ne kaha:

dil hī to hai na sañg-o-ḳhisht - dard se bhar na aaye kyuuñ 
roeñge ham hazaār baar - koī hameñ satāye  kyuuñ

Magar kuch log woh hote hain jo dukh pe ya to ro lete hain - ya use jazb ker lete hain - ya kahin andar baandh rakhte hain - magar chal paRte hain (move on ho jaate hain). In ka ziyada tar wateerah ye hota hai - dusron ko dukhi nahi dekh paate - kisi charity main lag jaate hain - kisi ke kaam aate rehte hain - ke - 

- andar ke dukh ka marham 
- bahir kisi ka chaara-saaz hona hai

Ibne maryam huwa kare koi

Magar dukh  jhelne waloN ki dusri type bari pareshan kerne wali hai - Ye woh hote hain - jinhe apne dukh se milne wali 'sympathies' ko jama kerne ki adat paR jaati hai - Inhe apne ishtahari "Victim Card" ka maza lene ka chaska paR jaata hai - Aur ye baRa addictive hota hai

Bus insaan ki koshish rahe - woh kabhi dusri type na bane

On 'Sharp Dressing'

(You may find the following post very superficial - but hey! We all have to deal with it).

Typically hailing from a lower middle class in a third-world country, almost all my life, I carried the flaw of 'not having a good sense of sharp dressing.' I was aware of my fault for not understanding the difference between 'branded products' and regular wear stuff. I never understood the difference between an untucked shirt and a tucked-in shirt. I always wondered about a men's suit's right shoulder width/length. I had my share of moments of embarrassment in gatherings. And the list goes on with shoes, jeans, sweaters, jackets, perfumes, hairstyles/gels etc. 

- But I never let this take over my sanity, psych, and life. I often rudely ignored some advice from friends/cousins even if they were appropriate and suitable.

As I grew in my profession, I had to learn the proper dress for different occasions. Eventually, I had to concur with many of my GQ friends' opinion that 'sharp dressing keeps your brain sharp and optimist.' And right or wrong, you may have to give some importance to the myth or social notion that - if a person is a shabby dresser, he may also be shabby in his relationships and life goals! (I think this is a hefty-handed statement).

Disclaimer: I am neither a metrosexual nor desire to be.

*

Two contrasting views on work ethics

When we were growing up back home as well as while in residency here, it was strongly infused in us that loyalty to your work place is a remarkable work value. We were taught to grow up with institution, develop deep roots at work place, and it would be ideal to stay life long at one work place/institution.

But as lot of things are changing around us - as bookstores shutting down and e-books are taking their place, cabs have been taken over by an app (uber), hotels are threatened by Airbnb, and several other examples - I have seen a shift in work ethics and human behaviors too.

In the beginning I was taken aback, but I guess, I am accepting it as another opinion rather than an unethical value. Particularly, since tech industry has become main stream, staying at workplace for many many years is not seen as a virtue, rather a weakness. If you are staying more than 4/5 years at one company, you are a dinosaur who can't evolve! If you have worked in three companies over 7/8 years, you may be more valuable as you know how to cash your worth as well as your ability to work in changing/different environments. Company may see you as an adaptable and a courageous 'employee' (just another employee! Ha!!). You may be seen as a person who knows how to negotiate.

Don't feel shocked. I did! but I learned: Right or wrong - this is the reality of today's corporate world.

Dunkirk

I watched this second world war movie Dunkirk. In childhood, I was a huge fan of second world war movies (naturally the favorite is 'Where Eagles Dare'). After long time I watched a 2nd WW flick, and it led me to think that, how a war changes a human at personal level. As at one point in the movie, a rescuer said to his son about a survivor: "He is not himself,  and will never be the same". While working in USA, I have met many war veterans, and trust me, many though came back alive but their souls were lost.

This movie is unique in the sense that instead of glorifying win on forefronts, it portrays the agony and pain of a struggling force. I doubt, war ever brings prosperity to either side.

Sahir Ludhianvi famously said in his poem (full poem in Roman and Nastaliq here)

جنگ تو خود ہی ايک مسئلہ ہے
جنگ کيا مسئلوں کا حل دے گی

Good night!

Trailer  https://youtu.be/F-eMt3SrfFU

On "The Upside of Addiction"

Few months ago, one of my (lost!) friend made an interesting comment that: "For manic depressive people, sometime mania is mentally so pleasurable that they are willing to take bouts of depression, instead of taking medicines which keep them always numb"!

In same regards, few weeks back I had an interesting argument with a colleague on Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's character Sherlock Holmes who was addicted to intravenous cocaine, and probably performed well due to it.

Though definition of addiction is relative, but it can be anything - golf, online games, alcohol, gambling, pornography, diet coke, shopping etc. etc. etc. - and right or wrong - some people thrive on it and their brilliance only shine due to it - as it energizes their mental activity. They feel dead without it.

Now I am way less judgemental for people who have any such weird habit.

As Shakeel Badayuni said

nashe main hun lakin mujeh ye khabar hai, 
ke is zindagi main sabhi pii rahe hain
Kisi ko mile hain chalakte piyale, 
kisi ko nazar se pilayi gai hai

Kisi ko nasha hai jahan main khushi ka, 
kisi ko nasha hai gam e zindagi ka
 koi pi raha hai lahu aadmi ka
har aik dil main masti rachaii gai hai

Kaare jahaan daraaz hai (On Travel Ban)

Main hawaii jahaz main pehli baar us waqt betha jab America aa raha tha - uski rudaad aik baar likhi thi (here) - uske baad kuch aesa huwa ke - zindagi 'safar dar safar' ban ke reh gai. Kuch gardish e doraN - aur  - Baqol Munir Niazi -  kujh sanoo maran da shoq vee see.

Uske baad idhar udhar is blog pe apne safar ki kuch posts bhi likhi (like here)

Jab peechle dino, USA main 'Travel Ban' ka shor-o-goga huwa to mujhe apne jahaz ka aik safar bohat aaya. Main Buenos Aires, Argentina ja raha tha. Flight ne subah subah utarna tha magar 'fog' is qadar thi ke jahaz ko qareebi shar 'Cardoba' utaar diya gaya. Hum waiting lounge main chale gaye.

Waqt guzaari ke liye - anjaane musaafir - batain kerne lage. Ab logoN ke safar ki wajoohaat suniye -

- Aik aurat, jis ki umar ab pachas ke aas paas hogi, koi 30 baras pehle shadi ker ke Buenos Aires gai thi - magar wahan us ki shadi chal nahi saki - woh phir USA aa gai - magar us relationship ki chubhan ab tak dil main baqi thi - keh rahi thi: "I want to clean my memories by revisting'!

- Aik shaks jis ki umar 65 ke lag bhag ho gi - Tango dance ka koi aesa show dekne ja raha tha jo saal main sirf aik hi baar us shahr main hota hai

- Aik PhD student thi jo 'Evita' pe maqala likhne ja rahi thi

- Aik aur larki thi jo Saint Felicita ki dukh bari kahani pe documentary banana chahti thi

- Aik buRha shaks tha - jis ki beti ne marte huwe us se kaha tha ke 'Liliana Crociati de Szaszak' ki qabar pe meri taraf se phool charRha dena 

- Aik joshila naujawan tha jo political science ka student tha aur Argentinian aur American siyasat ke mawazne pe kaam ker raha tha

- Aik soccer ka player tha jo 'La Boca' ka stadium dekhna chahta tha

Main ye sab chup chaap sun raha tha aur soch raha tha: " kiya koi beRi (travel ban) Khuld se nikle insaan ki bechain ruh ko safar se rok sakti hai? Iqbal ne isi liye to kaha tha:

baġh-e-bahisht se mujhe hukm-e-safar diyā thā kyuuN
kaar-e-jahaaN    daraaz hai    ab  meraa      intizaar kar

On "overrated inspiration"

When Saugoree uncle left comment on my post quoting Khushwant Singh (here), I recalled 2 things for which I always remember Khushwant Singh. Although I have read his writings here and there for many years, his one article is always near and dear to me ( How To Live and Die - here). Another thing is his advice to writers that: "You should write everyday as writing everyday will make you a better writer (than others)".

It took me to Argentinian artist Milo Lockett. When I first read his interview, I was little jolted on his initial statement that: "Inspiration is Utopian". But as he further explained: "What you need is to do your work everyday. Some days you will be less passionate. You may make more mistakes, but mistakes will make you a better person. Key is to do your work everyday".

I was lucky to have good teachers and seniors during my training. I was given one advice which worked like a magic for me. I was told to read every day no matter what - Christmas, New year, birthday, sad day, someone's funeral or vacation - READ EVERYDAY - anything related to subject - 5 minutes, 10 minutes or 15 minutes. I have done that for last many many years and I can assure you, it did not only make me a better physician but a better human being.

As they say: Inspiration is 1% and perspiration is 99%.

Last, but not the least. In cricket's history, Pakistan's Wasim Akram was one of the real legendary bowler. I honestly believe, no one ever came close to him in swing, line-n-length, yorker and varieties. Not Imran Khan, Dennis Lillee, any West Indian furious  or even Sir Richard Hadlee. Wasim said a beautiful thing: "In life, luck will just open the door for you but rest of the journey is all your hard work and practice everyday".

On "Altered Minds, Dreams, Drugs, Intellect and Spiritualism"

For a long time, it amazes me that how many spiritual experiences described, great poetic and literary works created and many scientific discoveries were made when human mind was not at its normal baseline.

From alcohol, weed, bhang, charas and other mind altering drugs etc. to high fever, seizures, dreams and people with schizophrenia, autism and asperger syndrome have more than normal association with things which altered human history.

As ibne-seena once said: "Sharab aaqil ke liye aqal aur Jahil ke liye jahal hai" (Alcohol is wisdom for wise and idiocy for an idiot).

Ghalib created most of his verses under influences of sharab and said: Ghalib sareere khama nawaye sarosh hai (Ghalib! noise of (my) pen is actually an angel's voice). Similarly, most of Allama Iqbal mystical poetry is created under the influence of alcohol (or some said under a different state of mind describes by his friends as haal)

Fyodor Dostoyevsky, the said Godfather of modern literature, was famously known to have seizures.

Einstein was a classic example of high IQ Asperger Syndrome.

My most favorite is of creation of sewing machine story (here)

Darwin though traveled, collected specimens from islands across the globe, but was never able to connect the dots of evolution. It was his colleague H.G Wells who one day while sick with high fever questioned himself that why nature wants us to die - and boom - he came up with the answer: "Nature select the fittest and weed out the weakest" (later said to be adaptable to the changed environment).

Probably human mind shows its full potential (Good or bad) while uninhibited or not under the control of self!