Thursday, January 25, 2018

How To Do Arranged Marriage Wrong (Especially Girls)

This is a cross-post.

 Mezba is originally from Bangladesh but now a hardcore Canadian. When I started doing blog in 2005, we informally had a group of desi bloggers and Mezba was one of my must-reads. Over the time, we all moved out in different directions with our blogs and lives, but still, I on and off go back and read his blog. Frequently, I don't agree with him but without any doubt, I enjoy his writings and perspectives. Following is one of his post, which you may find controversial but well written.

Read the whole post at the link. Here is just a gist.

"More and more it seems arranged marriages in the South Asian diaspora are becoming a type of "last resort". The boy has played the field and now wants some "domesticated girl" so turns to his mother for help. The girl has been with a boyfriend for so long but suddenly the mother of the said boyfriend decided her "golden boy" would be better off with someone she chose, and the boyfriend is too spineless to say otherwise, so now the girl is left looking for a poor sucker who has no idea where she has been before.

Now these people are in the same 'market' as the boy and girl who has kept away from any physical relationships, kept themselves pure and looking to get married, but finding it extremely difficult to do so."


4 comments:

Anony said...

... This hits close to home. I am about to get (arranged) married within few months.

Last year while looking for suitable match, I was scared for this very reason. What if the girl had 'history,' what if she had personality disorder (Borderline, ...) Or maybe I'm myself insufferable. ... have seen things gone really bad with few of my friends.

Anyways now I just tell myself: "whatever happens, happens for the good" :D

Mystic said...

Anony: All marriages act, behave, look and become same after 3/4 years. It is just like taking different ramps for the same highway. Life is all about acceptance. Marriage works better if a friendship exists rather than love. Marriage is not an easy thing. It is a difficult task. At the end, marriage makes you a better human being. And, the most profound experience of the life is parenthood.

bsc said...

Agree Mystic and yes, arranged or love marriage known before wedding or complete strangers--- make no difference what makes a marriage work is how they remain friends to maintain that "love" and respect which would be unique to that couple only

Anony said...

Thanks for your posts Mystic and Uncle ji! I have learnt many things from your blog!! :-)