(Shared by a fellow passenger when flight was cancelled and we were stuck at airport for 8 hours)
I am from Nigeria. My parents divorced when I was 18 or 19. That divorce did not only teach me that how men and women are different but also taught me that human relationships, desires and emotions are so complex that its not easy to blame one person.
My father was a hard working man. We were a middle class people living in a one bedroom apartment. My mother was way younger than my dad. She was an attractive woman with long silky black hair. She always thought that she is married to a wrong person. She thought herself of a princess. Her desires were forever. She craved for big house, servants, good clothings and of luxuries. She never cheated on my father. She took care of all household but she was not happy. On the other hand my father was a pragmatic man burned by harsh realities of life. Romance was dead in his heart and he had lost his softer and touchy inner self. He was unable to see woman's heart!
At one time my father was out of town for 3 weeks. I was away to college. One of our old neighbors had a big ancestral house little away at beach. My mom went there for 18 days. She felt like princess there in a big house with servants and furniture full castle. She came back. When my father returned and he came to know of her adventure - they had a huge fight. My father divorced her.
Life moved on but even now when I look back - I don't know whom to blame?
2 comments:
Long time ago I read somewhere about this aspect of human relationship that as a husband I will have a picture or expected picture of my wife. For example what she would be like what would she do for me or how she will function as my wife.
Then a wife will also construct a similar 'series of expectations' of her husband.
When they actually unite together in the matrimonial bond they start with the reality and actuality but see each other from those angles that had developed from cultural, family and such other teachings and experiences.
How much is matching and how much is not eventually determines the extent of "happiness' or whatever you call it.
Thinking about the story above, it seems there are obvious "mis-matching' things but should that lead to divorce?
That is another question.
Incidentaly I am writing on my blog about divorce (in Islam) and you can read my first Qist written yesterday
Uncle, I don't think one episode leads to Divorce but its a boiling pot of frustations over years.
(I am reading your series)
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