Cassie

Cassie was my patient. Cassie died after a year in hospice.

I was holding her hands when she breathed last. This is the moment I crave to have but pray not to have!! - as it is incredibly overwhelming.

I have been to such moments when my Nana, dadi, and father died.

But Cassie was young.

As I held Cassie's hand, she opened her eyes and looked at me but decided not to say a word. I neither had the courage nor knew what to say.

I have always wondered about the last few words in Tolostoy's "The Death of Ivan Ilyich."

He wanted to say that but was unable to bring it out. 

"Anyhow, why speak? I must act," he thought.

I guess it's better to avoid talking to have a peaceful death.