Abbu

 A text from a friend - his father died, and he has to carry the body to the ancestral village in an ambulance.

"Despite efforts not to recall it, I repeatedly get images of his last moments. I put my phone next to his right ear for him to listen to 20 min recital of surah Yaseen. Then me going back, and my son repeated the ritual. We just took 20 min break as his vitals were improving. BP became 110/ 60.previously, it was on the lower side. We thought he would linger on till morning for my brother to arrive. I don't know how I dozed off. I woke up on hearing a knock .got up and opened the door. The Guard of the ICU was at the door,"Sir, aap ko icu mein bula rhy hain." I ran to icu. 

Entered and asked," kya hua ?" The attendant said," ap k father foat ho gy hain !!" I couldn't believe what I had heard. Then I looked at abbu's bed. He was lying there, and there was a straight line on the monitor. I ran to his side. Put my ear on his chest, my hands on his pulse. There was no sign of life. Then reality hit me, and I started sobbing. I had lost him forever. I feel guilty that I was not there when he breathed his last. I see him dead whenever I close my eyes. This is killing me. 

I accompany abbu to the village in the ambulance. I kept my hand on his hand. It was as if he was sleeping, and I was sitting on his side. Yesterday I had a thought. When I was born, abbu received me and signed my birth certificate. When abbu left this world, I received his body and signed his death certificate. How ironic."