Money vs Relationships

One lesson I learned—and advised children in the family to understand—is that sooner or later in life, they will be presented with situations where they must choose between salvaging a relationship or walking away with (some) money. It sounds strange, but it is true.

It may be a friendship, marriage, or another relationship.

Alas! I have seen people fight for money at the expense of relationships. Siblings not talking to each other for decades, getting divorced, blocking friends - It's all not worth it. Even if you have to sustain some loss, take it. 

It is absolutely not worth going to the extreme stage on the pretext that he said this, she said this, He did this, she did this.

Even if you have to give up on your rightful stand, do so. Let things go. Move on.

Later, as years go by, you will learn that money vanishes, good jobs end, cars get depreciated, and houses get sold - but heartache and memories stay.

*

Urdu (and Luckhnow)

 

On Pakistan

I landed at NY JFK airport on April 13. That day, I was full of Pakistaniat. As I get boiled in the melting pot of humanity in the USA, it still sometimes hurts me to see my previous homeland not doing well.

 

 

Paranoid

 As I work at a quarternary medical center, we get the sickest of sickest patients transferred from outside hospitals. A wrong clinical judgment in that split of a second can kill a patient. I have a very close friend who is a very senior physician and a mentor for me. He reviews cases of bad or unexpected outcomes. The following conversation occurred two days ago.

(phone rang)

"What did I do wrong this time?"

"Nothing! I called to check on your shenanigans outside of work."

"I am now getting paranoid whenever you call."

"I am glad. We need to be paranoid. We deal with human lives. It is a prerequisite. Have a good day."

(Call ended)

On Eid

‏عیدگاہِ ما غریباں کوئے تو

‏ایں بہ ساعت عید، دیدن روئے تو

Your street is Eid-gaah for us poors 

The glimpse of your face is the moment of Eid 

 - Amir Khusrau

عیدگاه ما غریبا‌ں کوئے تو

ایں بہ ساعت عید، دیدن روئے تو 

کعبۂ من، قبلۂ من روئے تو

سجدہ گاہ عاشقاں ابروئے تو 

صد ہزارا‌ٓں عید قربانت کنم 

اے ہلالِ ما، خم ابروئے تو 

دست بکشا جانب زنبیل ما 

آفریں بر ہمت بازوئے تو 

یا نظام الدین محبوبِ خدا 

جملہ محبوبان غلام روئے تو

(کلام حضرت امیر خسرو)

On Journey (of life)

 

How to play the Game of Life

Cricket is the game of life. Cricket teaches you how to play the game of life. In this regard, my most profound teaching came from legendary Clive Lloyd, who won two first consecutive world cups for the West Indies and groomed many giants of Cricket, including Andy Roberts, Micheal Holding, Malcolm Marshall, and bigger-than-life Sir Alexander Vivian (the King) Richard. He once described his attitude toward playing Cricket in the following words (not exact words, though).

"Once we make the strategy for the match against a particular team, I usually stay in the dressing room, either taking a nap or doing other things. When it's my turn to bat, I walk into the field. First, I look at the weather and the wind to know how the ball may swing. Then, I look at the scoreboard. Knowing this, I play each ball to its merit. This attitude never deceived me."

Approaching every event, issue, action, and problem in life to its merit keeps a person going. It's not worth worrying too much about success or failure.

Be awaz laathi

 Kehte hain khuda ki lathi be awaz hai - magar jab us ki samjh aati hai to insaan itni zor se bilbilata hai ke woh laathi be awaz nahi rehti.

* Somebody cheated me with 35 K US$ almost 15 years ago. I moved on as I had no other choice. Recently, I learned that the person lost 70K in the same business for which I was cheated. The business was flooded in extreme rain, and the whole inventory was lost. As Desis do, no flood insurance was purchased. I was sent an apology as a makafate amal. I stayed quiet. Such an apology means nothing anymore.

Query

 Kiya sach hai ke ma-baap ki naikiaN aur budiaN - aulad ko bhugtni paRti hain?

ButaaN e Wahm o GumaaN

 

Insaan

 

From Ocean 11 - A woman's perspective

 

Nostalgic shyr

The below shyr, though out of meter (wazan)- still gives goosebumps. Years ago, it was said by a girl I promised to revisit but ended up cancelling my trip to Pakistan with a petty excuse.

 

 

An approach to life

 

Anticipation

 

Life from wrong end of telescope

 

Mirza Ghalib on Fasting

"دھوپ بہت تیز ہے۔ روزہ رکھتا ہوں مگر روزے کو بہلاتا رہتا ہوں۔ کبھی پانی پی لیا، کبھی حقہ پی لیا، کبھی کوئی روٹی کا ٹکڑا کھا لیا۔ یہاں کے لوگ عجب فہم رکھتے ہیں۔ میں تو روزہ بہلاتا ہوں اور یہ صاحب فرماتے ہیں کہ تُو روزہ نہیں رکھتا۔ یہ نہیں سمجھتے کہ روزہ نہ رکھنا اور چیز ہے اور روزہ بہلانا اور بات ہے

مرزا غالب کے ایک خط سے اقتباس 

Returning car

 I was always told that if you borrow a car from someone, the right etiquette is to always return it with a full tank.

Yesterday, somebody went a step further, and added: "If you borrow a car for more than two days, always return it with a full tank and a carwash."

Community

 A female colleague made an interesting comment interestingly about the desi community (at least here in the USA). It was about another female colleague desperate to get her daughter married on the pretext that "umar nikalti ja rahi hai, log kiya kahain gey."

I don't agree completely, but it makes sense on many levels, at least for women in the community.

Yeah community!… gelee lakrioun ki tarahn hootay hein. Qarib aou to koi garmi nahi, aur dour sey sulagta hua dhuwan!  

Kask

 Zindagi ke kai sawal aese hote hain, kai kasak aesi hoti hain -

barson lag jaate hain 

       - unka jawab milne main

       - woh kasak, woh khalish mitne main

~ Shayed yahi bohat hai ke maut se pehle saare hisab saaf ho jaain