Friday, April 01, 2016

"Desi Parents"

(Following was shared as discussion turned towards "success vs happiness" as goal of parenting)

"I was a typical hovering desi mother. I loved to brag on facebook and home parties about my children's achievements. 100 percent scores, music class, gym class, spelling bees, history projects, science fairs, state tests and all those competitions were must for my children to participate and win. Hell NO to Public schools!!!!!! They were not allowed to think lesser than Harvard, MIT, Stanford or McGill.

It was one regular afternoon. My son didn't come back from school!!!

He was in ninth grade by that time. When he didn't come home in the private ride we hired for him, I called his cell phone. It was off. I called his friends and classmates. He was in school until last minute - but didn't get into the van. I drove to school. It was 5 PM. The school was empty. He was quietly sitting on the side of a bench. As soon as I tapped on his shoulder, he saw me and screamed with fear. He was shaking. He started running as fast as he can from me. Not mentioning the whole drama, he was afraid as he didn't have A grade in his Art class. We came home quietly.

On that day, I canceled my facebook account".


bsc said...

A lesson well-learned.I always told my wife to refrain from "bragging about children's achievements' and she did to a certain extent
It plays so much on the psychological development of the child But parental "expectations" of the child's scholastic performance by itself has its own effect and I am well aware of it, having talked to my children long afterwards. I hide behind the "excuse" of being a neurologist and wife being a psychiatrist ('dangerous' combination for the child)

Beyond said...

This is a scary scenario. I am the polar opposite. I tend to be very uninterested in bragging about my kids' achievements. That is if they have any. My husband on the other hand gets really worked up if the kids do not perform well in any field. I hate it with gusto. Neither attitude is right. Parenting is never easy anyway.