Sunday, May 28, 2017

"Settle all marital arguments ......"

Friends many times ask me how I keep up with contemporary news in this era of fast changing world, beside heavy professional responsibilities and other hobbies. What I do, while driving back from work, I religiously listen NPR for 30 to 40 minutes - and while at home I let run Ted talks on one of the device. Accidentally, I run into this talk from Maureen McGrath on "No Sex Marriage – Masturbation, Loneliness, Cheating and Shame".

You can read transcript here  and listen here (3.5 million views)

Whole talk is interesting but she had a standing ovation at the closing remarks: "Settle all marital arguments in the bedroom - naked".


bsc said...

I know this is Ramzan but I did read this. However it is difficult to comment upon It is not uncommon to see the discrepency of sexi-ness in couples. I tried to find a satisfactory answer in Islamic teachings but am not satisfied excpet that in the end self-control is the answer to "keep" the marriage so to say
Prophet SAWS said (not exact quote) when you feel attracted on seeing a woman come home and had sex with your wife
For non-marries his advice is fasting (which does teach self control undoubtedly) but it may not suffice to some What about women who are "over sexy" I have attended as panel in some ISNA conferences and Have been asked questions about oral sex etc. Now I am not a Scholar so I cant give a "correct" answer Sura al-Mominoon, Ayat 5,6 and 7 Say, :"Who abstain from sex, except from those joined to them in marriage bond or (the captives) whom their right hand possess, for (in their case) they are free from blame but those who desires exceed those limits, are transgressors"
This clearly places a Muslim in fair understanding but the interpretation of the last part made by all Mufassirs is that any other way of sexual satisfaction is not allowed including masterbation. I did not find any Hadeeth of the prophet SAWS clearly forbidding masterbation (nor coitus interruptus) One might say When the ayah is there why seek hadeeth but aya does not say masterbation and should we include as the Mufassireen Ulama say? I remember my teacher saying, 99% of men masterbate and the one percent tell a lie"
I dont know if anybody will make comment but I do not see these sex teachrs giving all answers Among the LGBTQ it is suggested to include "non-sex people also as yes there is a group of men and women who have by birth no interest in sex Sorry but I hesitated so many days because this is also my summarization though amy seem lengthy. I also think Ramzan shareef is a good time to discuss this but if you do not agree I understand: just ignore me

mystic-soul said...

Uncle:: Sorry for delayed reply. I have been to one such session in Chicago few years back where there were lot of question from youngsters about sex. Most of the answers I hear are well summarised by you. Personally, I am of the opinion that as far as husband/wife are happy doing anything, should be OK (but that's my personal view). As far as masturbation is concerned, it is so natural - I find it hard to digest, as Islam as I found is a very natural religion! .. At the end, I think, it is between a person and his God.