12, 16 and 20

Fort william College ke zamane ki urdu ki aik kahawat hai:
"Bare Budh, Solhe Saan, Weehe Waan - aawi to aawi nai to gai"

means

"If you don't get wisdom by age 12, beauty by age 16 and grace (or personality) by age 20, you will never have it in life"


(What you think?)

Bara aadmi ya achha aadmi?

Kehte hain cricket aur acting main sub se ziyada zaroori cheez 'timing' hai. Agar shot ki 'timing' theek ho to ball boundry ke par jaati hai aur dialogue delivery ki 'timing' theek ho to woh barson yaad rehta hai. Pakistan ke aik bohut achhe adakar the (? hain) - Ali Ejaz. Suna hai dialogue delivery main un jesi timing kisi aur ke paas nahi thi. Unka aik dialogue aaj bhi mujhe yaad aata hai, jisme unhon ne aik dadaji ka kirdar ada kiya tha aur nasihat kerte hain:

"Apne bachhe ko bara aadmi na banana, bulke koshish kerna woh achha aadmi bane"

Aese hi aik aur dialogue - jo ata-ul-haq qasmi ne likha tha Ke: "Insaan duniya main rahe, duniya usme na rahe"

Hamari zindagion ka bas yahi almiya hai.

Saturday Miscellaneous

Read today: "In this era of google, it is not important to know how to access information but the more required skill is to know how to manage the information".


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Heard in lecture: "It is not healthy to have only one child. If you can procreate, have atleast 2, preferably 3 children. A single child has to succumb life long to you-are-the-only-hope pressure of parents and parents themselves direct all their overdue positive and negative attention to one single child".


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Read in a blog (not putting link to protect privacy): "We often say at the time of passing of parents that: "sir say sayah uth giya" (urdu). That is the 'saya' of prayers, for that is the 'protection' they provide for us".

The Soul of Mercy

(originally posted at Darvish )

It is related that after the death of the great Sufi Master al-Shibli, a friend saw him in a dream. The friend asked him what God had done with him, to which al-Shibli replied, “God placed me before Him and asked if I knew why He had forgiven my sins. I said that it might be because of the good works I had done, the prayers I had performed, my fasting and pilgrimage, my having associated with pious people and my journeying in search of knowledge. God replied, “O Shibli, these were not the reasons. Do you remember when you were walking in the lanes of Baghdad and you found a small cat made weak by the cold and ice, and out of pity you took it and put in inside a fur you were wearing so as to protect it from the pains of the cold? Because of the mercy you showed that cat, I have had mercy on you.”

- Excerpt adapted from Sufis and Saints’ Bodies: Mysticism, Corporeality & Sacred Power in Islam by Scott Kugle.

Kaun bikta nahi zamane main

Ab ye baat kiya chupana ke jub main Karachi main hota tha to hum dost aksar Gulshan-e-Iqbal pe gana sunne jaya kerte the. Wahan nachne wali aik larki kub mujh pe aashiq ho gai ye to mujhe pata na chala. America aane se pehle jub main aakhri baar us se milne gaya aur use bataya ke main america ja raha hun to mera haat pakar ke rone lagi. Kehne lagi: "Mujhe bhi saath le chalo". Main ne bagair soche samjhe kaha: "wahan sub kuch itna khulla hai ke tumhare gulshan ka karobaar wahan chale ga nahi". Meri ye baat churi ki tarah us ke dil pe lagi. Mujhe bolne ke baad apni bakwas ka andaaza huwa. Kehne lagi: "Tum bhi to america goron ko apna zahen bachne ja rahe ho".Us din us ne mujhe jo geet sunaya woh Runa laila ka geet, 'Aap farmayain kiya kharidain ge' tha. Us gaane ke kuch alfaz aaj bhi mujhe usi churi se katte hain jo us din us ke dil pe lagi thi

Is jahan, is nigar-khane main
kaun bikta nahi zamane main
Mal-o-daulat ka hai aseer koi
Zahen beche koi, zameer koi

Log kehte hain bewafa humko
aur humi se wafa kharidain ge

Aftab Khan of Lahore

Jub peter mera intern bun ker aaya to pehle hafte jese mujhe woh nazar hi nahi aata tha. Magar kaam bhi saare ho jaate the. Labs bhi check ho jaati, consultants bhi notify ho jaate, progress notes bhi likhe hote the aur patients discharge bhi timely ho jaate - magar peter jese wahan huwe bagair kaam kerta tha. Peter ne mujhe lahore ke Aftab khan ki yaad dila di.

Aftab Khan bhi shayed sulemani topi pehnta tha !

Jub main ne America main residency shuru ki to Aftab Khan mera senior resident tha, magar shuru ke 2 ya 3 mahine main ne use dekha hi nahi tha sirf naam suna tha. Aftab Khan nazar nahi aata tha magar us ka zikar hur jaga hota tha. Pehli baar main ne Aftab Khan ko CT scan main aik patient ka code blue run kerte huwe dekha. Code blue ke baad us ne chief resident se koi baat ki aur phir aik mahina nazar nahi aaya. Aahista aahista mujh pe Aftab Khan ki khubian khulna shuru huin. Aftab ka taaluq lahore se tha aur us ka dil bhi lahori tha. Doston ka dost tha. Jub meri medical floor pe uske saath rotation hui aur main ne as a intern koi blunder ker diya to subha Aftab ne sara ilzam apne sir le liya magar allah ne use baat kerne ka aesa dhang diya tha ke kubhi koi attending us se naraz na huwa bulke program director ke chahiton main shamil tha !

Aik din main ne aftab se poocha, "tumhari is perfect PR (personal relationship) technique ka kiya raaz hai".

Us ne kaha: "Hamare punjab ki kahawat hai ke - maalik ki agari aur ghore ki peechari se bacho. Mutlab bar bar boss ke saamne jake ya logon ke around jaake oversmart na bano. Either boss will dislike you aur people will start throwing you down from their back. Professional world main kamyabi ka ye asool yaad rakho. Keep low level. Don't make waves. Avoid gossips. Just finish and fulfill your responsibility".

Jo sabaq hum hard way sikhte hain, Aftab Khan ne asani se lahore se chalte kisi buzurg se sun ke saath bandh liya. Buzurgon ki hulki phulki kahawaton main hi zindagi ki dor bandhi hoti hai.

Aftab Khan shayed aaj bhi sulemani topi pehnta hoga !!

Diary of 1987

Apne peechle post main, main ne jis diary ka zikar kiya tha - us ki kahani bhi sun lijye.

Jab aadmi jawani main qadam rakhta hai to samjhta hai ke,duniya ko badal sakta hai. Main medical college main naya naya daakhil huwa tha. Mohallae ke hum 5/6 doston ne jo professional colleges main the apne mohalle se aage kachhi basti main aik chota sa primary school shuru kiya. Aahista aahista purane log Pakistan chor ker america jaane lage magar naye log aate gaye (woh bachhe jo is school se paas hote, hamare saath lag jaate aur karwan barhta jaata). Qanoon ye tha ke sab se senior aadmi ko administrator ya headmaster bana dete. Jab main school ka incharge bana to aik din mere paas, bilqis apa aain. Bilqis apa ko main pehle se jaanta tha. Woh hamare mohalle main rehti thin aur kisi aur school main parhati thin. Un ke mian ko depression ka shadeed marz tha (Pakistan main psychological bimarian bohut ziyada hain aut ilaj ka koi ziyada intizam bhi nahi - it is still a taboo). Bilqis Apa ne kaha: "Mere ghar ka guzara muskil hota hai. Meri akele ki salary se 3 bachhon ko kese parhaun. Apni 2 Lurkion ko kachhi basti tuk bhejne ka dil nahi maanta magar mere bete ko agar aap apne school main parha dain to mera bojh hulka ho jaaye ga". Main ne kaha, "koi baat nahi hai, hamara school to hai hi free aur sab ke liye hai. Aap asif (un ke bete ka naam) ko hamare paas bhej dain". Asif turned out to be an extremely smart kid. Aur phir ghar pe bhi taalim ka intizam tha.

Phir main America aa gaya. Peeche se maalum huwa ke Bilqis apa ko visa mil gaya aur woh akele hi america aa gain. Kabhi kabhi amma se pata lugta unka. Dono bachhion ki shadian ker di. Shohar ka bhi ilaj kerwana shuru kiya aur asif bhi parhai main aage jaate jaate university main paunch gaya. Bus gum yahi tha ke Bilqis apa bachhon se aur bachhe maa se dur rahe. Bilqis apa ne baap ki zimedari bhi nibah di.

2 baras pehle main Pakistan gaya to socha school dekh aaun. School ab metric tak ho gaya tha. Imarat bhi khubsurat bun gai hai. Glasses se bana khubsurat sa office hai. Jo poda hum ne 20/25 baras pehle lagaya tha woh ab tanawar darkhat bun chuka tha. Main school ki office gaya to saare log badal gaye the magar office ke peon baba wahi the. Unhon ne mujhe pechan liye. Kehne lage achha huwa aap aa gaye. Aap ki aik amanat kab se pari hai. Mujhe to kuch yaad na aaya. Kahin se aik box le aaye. Bole: "Aap america jaate huwe ye kuch cheezain chor gaye the. Aap ke baad main ne Madad Ali babu se poocha kiya karun to bole kahin rukh do, aain ge to de dain ge. Aap ne to barson laga diye, ab apni amanat rakhain". Main ne dabba khola to mere aansun bhar aaye. Ander mere Reebok ke woh shoes the jo main ne paisa paisa jor ke khareeda tha. Meri diary thi jis main, main kabhi kabhi kuch likh ke dil halka ker leta tha (jese Karachi wali nazam). Sure Yaseen ki woh kitab, diary ke ander thi jo kisi student ne mujhe gift di thi. Aur sone ki woh choti si anghuti jo meri saatwin (7th) saalgirah pe amma ne mujhe di. Allah jaane main kiun school le gaya tha aur phir wahin kisi daraz main reh gai. Aur kuch puaarane kagaz, ballpens, purani tasveeerain, aik do chasme wagera nikle. Main har cheez ko dekhta aur har cheez se yaadon ka aik toofan jura tha.

Main ne diary aur sure yassen ke ilawa saari cheezain peon baba ko de din ke zaaya ker dain ya rakh lain. Unhon ne anghuti lene se inkaar ker diya. Main ne kaha, school ke fund main jama kara dain. Bahir aaya to aik khubsurat se naujawan ne mujhe dekha, salam kiya. Main to na pechana magar usne kaha."Sir, main asif hun. Bilqis apa ka beta"..

"Arey !, mashallah, jawan ho gaye ho. Kiya kerte ho".

Us ne jawab diya: "Sir! university main genetics main M.Sc ker raha hun".

"Achha ! Pakistan main iska scope hai ? Genetics choose kerne se pehle tum ne job market to dekhi hogi"

Asif ne kaha: "Nahi sir bus jaanna chahta hum, hamare ander ye sub kuch kahan se aata hai aur kahan jaata hai". Main chonk giya. 

Main ne kaha: "Samjhdar ho gaye ho". 

Mai ne use Banu Qudsiya ki "Raja Gidh" parhne ka mashwara diya.

Phir asif ne aahista se poocha: "Sir ! america main ammi mili kabhi aap ko. Kesi hain woh?. Bohut yaad aati hai".

Main ne kaha: "Mujh se to mulaqat nahi hui kabhi".

Main apna contact de ker wahan se chal para. Mere aansu ke band tootne waale the. Main sochta raha: "Insaan kisi bhi umar ka ho, ma ki zaroorat hamesah rehti hai". Mujhe amma ki di hui anghuti yaad aa gai, magar ab peon baba se kese wapas maangta. Diary aur sure yassen aaj bhi mere paas hai.

Yahi woh diary thi jis se main ne Karachi wali nazam naqal ki magar us diary ke har safhe se jhuri yaadain yaad aati hain !!

(Listen this beautiful song )

Karachi

(Ye nazam main ne 20 baras pehle likhi thi magar 12 may ko karachi main jo kuch huwa aur jab main ne raza rumi ki nazam parhi - it made me pull my diary and read this poem again. It was written as perody of Maulana Altaf Hussain Hali's Musaddase Mad-o-jazar Islam )


Karachi jis ka charcha hai ye kuch woh kiya hai
Pakistan se alag aik jungle-numa hai

fasanon se bharpur jis ki qabaa hai
na khaufe saza hai, na zoqe wafa hai

sabar o thammul ka is per para hai na saaya
sultane-jamhoor ka yaan qadam tuk na aaya



na police na deegar hain aese zameer perwar
Alif laila agar phir paida hon Iqbal aur Johar

na kuch aese intizam hain yahan mayassar
mujrim jis se pakre jaayain sub ke barabar

na bijli hai, nalkon main paida na paani
faqat load shedding pe hai zindagani


kaam hamare jitne hain sub rishwatana
hur aik loot aur maar main yagana

curfew main kutta hai hamara zamana
Nahi hai koi firing ka tazyaana

hum hain qatal-o-garat main chalak aese
dareende hon jungle main be-baak jese



kahin pehle jhanda lagane pe jhagra
kahin aage jalsa barhane pe jhagra

lub-e-shugal kahin banner lagane pe jhagra
kahin mini bus ke jalne jalane pe jhagra

yunhi roz laraii hai be-khauf hum main
yunhi roz chalti hai kalashnikov hum main



pathrao hamari din raat ki dil-lagi hai
pistol hamari ghutti main goya pari hai

sifarish hai, zalalat hai, begaangi hai
garz hur tarah hum main jahalat bhari hai

bahut khun ki hum ne bahai hai nadyan
kub nekiun pe chaii chatain gi ye badian

On "Manipulative Woman"

Agar aap log ye blog parhte rahe hain to shayed aap logon ko yaad ho ke main ne apne cousin aur dost Aga ki kahani likhi thi....To jub main Aga se milne ab ki baar florida gaya to Aga ne kaha: "Aaj ki sham yaadgar banai jaaye gi. Pehle 'dirty martini' ke saath steak khain ge, phir film dekhain ge, us ke baad night club main sharab-o-shabab hoga aur phir ghar aake hukke, pakistani chai aur lata ji ke gaane sunte huwe raat der tak khub gup-shap lage gi"....

Aga ki jahan main ne bohut si batain likhi thi, us main aik baat reh gai thi ke apni mohabbat main nakami ke baad 'as a reaction' woh bohut bara playboy bun gaya (jo adat ab qadre dafa ho chuki hai). America main basne waali shayed hi koi qaumiat ki aesi lurki hogi, jis ka Aga ko tajarba na raha ho. Main ne Aga se poocha: "Tumhe duniya ki hur mazhab, nasal aur qaum ki lurki ka tajarba hai. Tumhe sab se ziyada kaunsi larki handle kerna mushkil lagi ya kaunsi larki aaj bhi tumhe dhoka de sakti hai - smart, khubsurat, intellectual, academic, professional, hijabi, gheralu, desi, hispanic, white, kaali, gori, hindu, chapti, angry, shy, bold ya koi aur ? "

Aga ne apni 'dirty martini' se aik bara sip liya, kuch der sochta raha aur phir bola - "Aurat pe habit, habitat, rang, nasal, mazhab aur taalim ka sirf rang choona hota hai. At the bottom, all women are same. At the end, main ne har aurat ko aik jesa hi paaya magar aaj bhi aesi aurat se durta hun jo 'cunning aur deceiving' ho. Insaan har tarah ki aurat ko handle ker sakta hai magar agar aurat makkari pe utar aaye to mard ka sara ilm aur tajarba bhi uske aage par nahi maar sakta" !

Cheezain

"Khoi hui cheezon ka gum nahi kerte aur unhe dhundhe main ziyada waqt nahi lagate. Jo cheezain aape-hi-aap kho jaati hain, woh aape-hi-aap mil bhi jaati hain - aur agar nahi milti to nayi cheezain unki jaga le leti hain"

Gur (Trick)

Aaj main tumhe ameer (rich) banne ka gur batata hun!

"Kubhi kisi ko diye huwe paise wapas na maango"!

Shabana

Kuch logon main bala ka "sense of humor" hota hai. Main jub Karachi main house job ker raha tha to mere saath aik bohut hi zinda dil lurki kaam kerti thi, Dr. Shabana. Shabana un lurkion main se thi jis se kai larke shaadi kerna chahte hain aur kai mardon ko Shabana jesi larki se shadi na hone ka kafi sara afsos kafi arse tak rehta hai !!

Shabana ziyada tar raat ki shift kerti thi. Aik din main ne us se kaha, "ye achha hai, tumhara naam bhi shabana hai aur tum kaam bhi raat ko kerti ho". Hasne lagi. Usne apne walkman ka headphone utara (us zamane main i-pod ijaad nahi huwa tha) aur kehne lagi, "dekho main kiya sun rahi hun". Main ne uska headphone apne kaanoN se lagaya to madam noorjahan ga rahi thiN:

Mere soz main tabassum, meri aah main tarannum
Main chirage shame gum hun, mera naam hai Shabana

Key to happiness

The happiest people in the world are not those who have no problems, but those who learn to live with things that are less than perfect.

Samjhaute ki chadar

Sometimes we get 'connected' to someone up to the level where we share very personal things with them. It's just a matter of trust. That's how Jim and I were connected. When I saw Jim in the breakroom one Monday morning, he appeared a little upset. I asked:

"What's going on, man? You don't seem right. Is everything ok? How was your trip to see your daughter". Jim has one daughter who went to college last year somewhere in California. He and his wife used to make frequent trips to see her.

"It was not a great trip but made it easy for me to decide to have divorced after 20 years and start a new life".

I knew Jim had a bad marriage, marked by frequent fights. He and his wife were very incompatible by nature. The only reason he stayed in marriage as he was afraid of losing his daughter, and more than that, he never wanted her to have psychological trauma of a broken home and visitation fights. Still, things got skewed once his daughter went to college.

"Is everything ok?" I asked again.

"On the last day, as we were walking down the college's hill towards the parking lot, I again pleaded with my daughter to get in college somewhere here in our state to see her more often. Between all this, I was fighting with my wife about driving our new SUV. Yes! When you have a bad marriage, you fight like kids. Our daughter was listening to our conversation. As we reached the car, I threw keys on the car, which infuriated my wife more. As I kissed my daughter on her forehead and asked her again to move back home, she said: "Daddy, I don't want to hurt you, but truly speaking, I miss mummy more, but she wanted me to stay here." My wife teased me, saying: "She is always mummy's girl. She loves mummy more. She will do as mummy says". I was hurt for a while. I gave my life for her, and it was hard to listen to this. But you know, parents love kids unconditionally. I kissed my daughter on the forehead. I said, "Do what you think is right for you." ...I handed the keys of our SUV to my wife, who graciously went to the driving seat. When you have a terrible marriage, being in the driving seat is like, I am the boss, won the argument, or am in command. It was again an endless and mindless game of arguments, fights, etc."

I just shook my head. Jim was a classic example of compromised marriage. Compromised marriage is like an exit of American highways, which often has no quick U-turn. I recalled the poem by Zehra Nigah.

Mulayam garm samjhaute ki chadar
Yeh chadar mein ne barson mein buni hai
Kahin bhi sach ke gul boote nahi hai
Kissi bhi jhooth ka taanka nahin hai
Issi se main bhi tan dhak loongi apna
Issi se tum bhi aasooda rahoge
Na khush hoge, na pashmarda hoge

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