(I found the following statement from Dr. Steve Stephens (here).
"Porn is a serious danger to most men, implanting unrealistic visual and sexual expectations; romance novels and some movies and TV shows can also be risky for many women, implanting unrealistic romantic expectations." (From his book 'Lost in Translation')
Related post: Divorcing on 5th Anniversary
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Sunday, May 29, 2011
On 'Mental Discipline'
Dan Ariely is one of my favorite read (here). He is a behavioral economist. In his work one theme is consistent - We humans are irrational and we consistently make silly stupid mistakes but discipline, hard work and endeavour to reform pays off. I love his first part and always find solace after making mistakes but can't keep up with second part. Saari zindagi guzar jaati hai magar amal raasikh nahi hota.
Mental discipline - hardest horizon to reach!
Mental discipline - hardest horizon to reach!
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Qanaat!
Over upcoming long weekend I am planning to visit my Godmother. I called her before hand to ask if I should bring anything specific or desi, as she now lives in a "non-desi" rural town. Her instant answer was a lesson for me: "Beta! zaroorat to kisi bhi cheez ki nahi hai wagerna poora shahr bhi le aao to kum hai".
Saturday, May 21, 2011
"Everything Must Go"
Interesting new Hollywood movie came out - “Everything must go”. It’s a very simple, low budget, bitter sweet, sad but a funny movie. It’s a story of one good but alcoholic man - though he is constantly trying to get over with his problem.
…..And ‘one bad day’ he gets fired from his job. As he reaches home, he comes to know that not only his wife has left him but has changed locks of house, took her stuff and threw all his stuff in front lawn. She has cancelled all credit cards, cell phone service and has stopped all bank accounts. His car from company has taken back in which he has all his good clothing. So, in a day – he is homeless in front yard of his house. Movie is all about – how he dealt with this situation – simultaneously fighting with his alcohol issue.
City allows him only 5 days to have stuff at front yard with the loop of making Garage Sale. This garage sale part is most funny and makes you laugh. In any case, in his new circumstances, he makes new friends. His discussion about “being normal” with one friend is interesting! He realizes that stuff we collect as possessions - souvenir, books, records etc. - and even bad memories should let go. He recalls forgotten good friends.
He gifts a lot of his precious collections to people who need it. Despite in the midst of all this madness he never let go his inner good self and at the end, he founds a fortune cookie saying: “All is not lost yet”!
See trailer here
On lighter note, Bridesmaids is another funny movie after heavy workday (here)
…..And ‘one bad day’ he gets fired from his job. As he reaches home, he comes to know that not only his wife has left him but has changed locks of house, took her stuff and threw all his stuff in front lawn. She has cancelled all credit cards, cell phone service and has stopped all bank accounts. His car from company has taken back in which he has all his good clothing. So, in a day – he is homeless in front yard of his house. Movie is all about – how he dealt with this situation – simultaneously fighting with his alcohol issue.
City allows him only 5 days to have stuff at front yard with the loop of making Garage Sale. This garage sale part is most funny and makes you laugh. In any case, in his new circumstances, he makes new friends. His discussion about “being normal” with one friend is interesting! He realizes that stuff we collect as possessions - souvenir, books, records etc. - and even bad memories should let go. He recalls forgotten good friends.
He gifts a lot of his precious collections to people who need it. Despite in the midst of all this madness he never let go his inner good self and at the end, he founds a fortune cookie saying: “All is not lost yet”!
See trailer here
On lighter note, Bridesmaids is another funny movie after heavy workday (here)
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Mardam Gazeedah - Iqbal Hasan Azad
Maulana Rumi kehte hain: "Kitab insaan ko khud dhund leti hai". Aesa hi aik waqiya peechle dinoN kuch hamare saath ho gaya.
As I was coming out of our city library, I saw an Urdu book in 'new arrivals' section. First I found it to be strange at 'Gora's' library but checked it out. It was a collection of short stories by someone Iqbal Hasan Azad. I never heard or read this name before. I tried 'googling' but didn't find much info. I checked library's catalog and found that he hailed from a small town in Bihar, India called Jamalpur. He is an Urdu teacher there. He is 55 years old and have published only 2 collections of short stories so far. When I read his stories, I just loved them. He writes very short stories (22 stories in 148 pages). His language is simple and sweet. Stories have been taken from everyday life and climax usually comes in last 3/4 lines which tells a lot more about his intelligence. I will just write 2 lines on his 10 selected stories to convey post's message.
Mardam gazeedah (means bitten by men) is a story of man who gets attacked by wild dogs. Bystanders watch him like its a regular event. A common scene back home in by lanes!
Chandi ke Taar is a story of a man who remained busy in outside world without realizing that his daughters are getting old beyond getting married and needs attention of his fatherly obligations.
Bus yaheen tuk ...is a story of 'makafate-amal'. How life comes back to bite us of our wrong deeds!
Rone wale is an interesting story of just died man who along with angel of death attends his own last rites and is watching his family and friends' reaction after his death.
Nahi Mummy, Nahi.... is a conversation between a pregnant woman and his unborn child to convince him that why he needs to be born in this world!
Ticket is a story of an old man who refuse to lose his dignity in face of changing children's attitude.
Zindagi, Is pal - is a sweet tale of how nothing matters if at the end of the day, loving spouse is there to take you in her arms.
Dushman describes us that enemies of nation are not at borders but are actual ills of society.
Dubta Ubharta aadmi - is a tell of a good man whose character finally gives up to corruption and lust.
La-Makaan is only a 2 page tell of newly wed couple who could not decide where to put their sacred religious book in house!
As I was coming out of our city library, I saw an Urdu book in 'new arrivals' section. First I found it to be strange at 'Gora's' library but checked it out. It was a collection of short stories by someone Iqbal Hasan Azad. I never heard or read this name before. I tried 'googling' but didn't find much info. I checked library's catalog and found that he hailed from a small town in Bihar, India called Jamalpur. He is an Urdu teacher there. He is 55 years old and have published only 2 collections of short stories so far. When I read his stories, I just loved them. He writes very short stories (22 stories in 148 pages). His language is simple and sweet. Stories have been taken from everyday life and climax usually comes in last 3/4 lines which tells a lot more about his intelligence. I will just write 2 lines on his 10 selected stories to convey post's message.
Mardam gazeedah (means bitten by men) is a story of man who gets attacked by wild dogs. Bystanders watch him like its a regular event. A common scene back home in by lanes!
Chandi ke Taar is a story of a man who remained busy in outside world without realizing that his daughters are getting old beyond getting married and needs attention of his fatherly obligations.
Bus yaheen tuk ...is a story of 'makafate-amal'. How life comes back to bite us of our wrong deeds!
Rone wale is an interesting story of just died man who along with angel of death attends his own last rites and is watching his family and friends' reaction after his death.
Nahi Mummy, Nahi.... is a conversation between a pregnant woman and his unborn child to convince him that why he needs to be born in this world!
Ticket is a story of an old man who refuse to lose his dignity in face of changing children's attitude.
Zindagi, Is pal - is a sweet tale of how nothing matters if at the end of the day, loving spouse is there to take you in her arms.
Dushman describes us that enemies of nation are not at borders but are actual ills of society.
Dubta Ubharta aadmi - is a tell of a good man whose character finally gives up to corruption and lust.
La-Makaan is only a 2 page tell of newly wed couple who could not decide where to put their sacred religious book in house!
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Basode Ki Maryam
All my life I get inspired by this piece written by Asad Mohammad Khan (here). I found this as one of the few greatest human profiles written in Urdu literature. It is the story of innocence of human heart, love, and sacrifices - where human love wins above men's all other convictions. Zia Mohiuddin made it immortal with his voice.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
"Wet Place" !
When I first eye balled this story I felt - its stupid! but after reading whole story I have different thoughts. What make sense in it - is providing a death with dignity - in bed - for those who were unable to rise against many odds of life. Its just that we are more blessed, nothing else. Click on story.
Monday, May 09, 2011
Aik Pakistani aurat, 3 betian aur woh kala shaks!
"Main achhe gharane se thi aur shadi bhi bare paise wale gharane main hui magar Pakistan main rupe ki rel pel ne mere shohar ko sharabi bana diya. Main kiya ker sakti thi. Yake baad degre 3 betian paida ho gain. Main unhe bara kerne main lug gai. Magar jub sharabi shohar ke sharabi doston ki pehle nazrain, aur phir daraz haat, jawan hoti betioN pe parne lage to main kisi tarah visa le ker America aa gai.
Jese tese ker ke yahan aik naukri mili. Naukri dene wale ne 'Green card' ka lalach de ker khub 'abuse' kiya. Main ne poore 4 baras, aik chutti kiye bagair, aik desi restaurant main 12 12 ghante lagatar kaam kiya. 4 baras baad pata laga sab jhut tha. Immigration ka kubhi koi case file hi nahi huwa tha. Peeche se shohar ne talaq bhijwa di. Ooper se internet aa gaya. Mere bahir rehne ke baais betian poora poora din chatting pe guzarne lagiN, 'boys' ke saath 'hang out' kerne lagin....... Ajeeb kash-makash main thi. Naukri chorun to ghar kese chalaun. Naukri pe rahun to jin jawan betioN ke liye des chora wahi bigri jaayain. 9/11 ka waqiya ho gaya. Immigration na-mumkin ho gai. Employer ke tevar aur char gaye.
Aur phir aik Allah ka farishta aaya.
Hamare restaurant pe aik 70-75 baras ka homeless "kalla" har subh coffee peene aata tha. Use Pancreatic cancer tha. 9/11 ke waqiye ke baad har koi immigration ka sawal poochta. Aik din main ne use apni bipta sunai. Us "kalle" ne kaha: 'main to kuch dinoN main mar jaunga, tum mujh se shadi ker lo'. Hum dono ne chupke se 'court marriage' ker li. Main ne use ghar main aik kamra de diya. Main ne dusre din hi 'papers' file ker diye. Woh subah sawere ghar se nikal jaata aur raat mere ghar aane ke baad lautta ke use maalum tha mujeh jawan betioN ki fiqar rahe gi. Khud hi ja ker apni 'chemotherapy' kerwata, hospital main admit ho jaata ya discharge ho jaata. American immigration ne har tarah se kureda magar us shaks ne mera saath na chora. Us ne badle main na to kubhi kuch manga aur na hi kubhi mujeh chune ki kisi khawish ka izhar kiya.(Haan albatta apartment building main muqeem dusre desioN ne jeena dobhar ker diya). ....Hum sab ko bil-aakhir green card mil gaya. 4 mahine baad woh faut ho gaya. Hum hi ne church main uski aakhri rasoomat ka bandobast kiya.
Waqt guzarta gaya. Betian khairiat se bari ho gain, 2 ki shahdi achhi jagah ho chuki hai. Mera ghar bun gaya, apna restaurant ho gaya. Salam is mulk ko aur shukar Allah ka ke din pher diye. Magar aaj bhi us shaks ki tasveer mere bedroom ke sarahne rakhi hai. Har saal main us ki qabar pe aik diya jalati hun. Jub tuk is mulk main meri auladain abad rahain gi us ka jalaya diya jalta rahe ga.
Jub apne saare saath chor gaye, aik homeless "kalla" kaam aaya - jinhe hum sub ko haqarat se dekhne ki adat ho gai hai.
You may hear above story below
Jese tese ker ke yahan aik naukri mili. Naukri dene wale ne 'Green card' ka lalach de ker khub 'abuse' kiya. Main ne poore 4 baras, aik chutti kiye bagair, aik desi restaurant main 12 12 ghante lagatar kaam kiya. 4 baras baad pata laga sab jhut tha. Immigration ka kubhi koi case file hi nahi huwa tha. Peeche se shohar ne talaq bhijwa di. Ooper se internet aa gaya. Mere bahir rehne ke baais betian poora poora din chatting pe guzarne lagiN, 'boys' ke saath 'hang out' kerne lagin....... Ajeeb kash-makash main thi. Naukri chorun to ghar kese chalaun. Naukri pe rahun to jin jawan betioN ke liye des chora wahi bigri jaayain. 9/11 ka waqiya ho gaya. Immigration na-mumkin ho gai. Employer ke tevar aur char gaye.
Aur phir aik Allah ka farishta aaya.
Hamare restaurant pe aik 70-75 baras ka homeless "kalla" har subh coffee peene aata tha. Use Pancreatic cancer tha. 9/11 ke waqiye ke baad har koi immigration ka sawal poochta. Aik din main ne use apni bipta sunai. Us "kalle" ne kaha: 'main to kuch dinoN main mar jaunga, tum mujh se shadi ker lo'. Hum dono ne chupke se 'court marriage' ker li. Main ne use ghar main aik kamra de diya. Main ne dusre din hi 'papers' file ker diye. Woh subah sawere ghar se nikal jaata aur raat mere ghar aane ke baad lautta ke use maalum tha mujeh jawan betioN ki fiqar rahe gi. Khud hi ja ker apni 'chemotherapy' kerwata, hospital main admit ho jaata ya discharge ho jaata. American immigration ne har tarah se kureda magar us shaks ne mera saath na chora. Us ne badle main na to kubhi kuch manga aur na hi kubhi mujeh chune ki kisi khawish ka izhar kiya.(Haan albatta apartment building main muqeem dusre desioN ne jeena dobhar ker diya). ....Hum sab ko bil-aakhir green card mil gaya. 4 mahine baad woh faut ho gaya. Hum hi ne church main uski aakhri rasoomat ka bandobast kiya.
Waqt guzarta gaya. Betian khairiat se bari ho gain, 2 ki shahdi achhi jagah ho chuki hai. Mera ghar bun gaya, apna restaurant ho gaya. Salam is mulk ko aur shukar Allah ka ke din pher diye. Magar aaj bhi us shaks ki tasveer mere bedroom ke sarahne rakhi hai. Har saal main us ki qabar pe aik diya jalati hun. Jub tuk is mulk main meri auladain abad rahain gi us ka jalaya diya jalta rahe ga.
Jub apne saare saath chor gaye, aik homeless "kalla" kaam aaya - jinhe hum sub ko haqarat se dekhne ki adat ho gai hai.
You may hear above story below
Saturday, May 07, 2011
Manzil
(Taken from facebook)
Zindagi ki sachai aik Qabaristan k bahar likhi thi:
"Manzil To Meri Yehi Thi . . . Bas Zindagi Guzar Gayi Yahan Aate Aate !"
Zindagi ki sachai aik Qabaristan k bahar likhi thi:
"Manzil To Meri Yehi Thi . . . Bas Zindagi Guzar Gayi Yahan Aate Aate !"
Thursday, May 05, 2011
On 'Negative Pacifism'
"Those were rainy days. As I was walking on muddy path while trying to save myself from bushes and dirt on both sides, I saw a black cow coming from other side. Her eyes were bright and horns were long and sharp. I thought in my heart that I should not get afraid from a cow. Cow is a very passive animal and have even read in books that cow is like a mother. But that was just my wish. As I saw her coming towards me I gave her way but rather than going straight she changed her direction towards me and before I do anything, she attacked my chest with her sharp horns and I fall all flat in dirt over the bushes. After completely throwing me down, like she achieved her goal, she went forward on muddy path.
That day I had a big experience of life. Sign of non-violence (pacifism) may bring violence itself. and - what is visible from outside not necessary to be same from inside. So self protection is a rule which should never be forgotten."
(Translated from a short story "Giraft" of Iqbal Hasan Azad. He is a Urdu teacher in one small town call Jamalpur in Bihar, India. He is even hard to find on google but I found his writings swift and of par excellence. I wish if he had hailed from a bigger city. Hopefully will write a full post on him. He deserves all praise.)
That day I had a big experience of life. Sign of non-violence (pacifism) may bring violence itself. and - what is visible from outside not necessary to be same from inside. So self protection is a rule which should never be forgotten."
(Translated from a short story "Giraft" of Iqbal Hasan Azad. He is a Urdu teacher in one small town call Jamalpur in Bihar, India. He is even hard to find on google but I found his writings swift and of par excellence. I wish if he had hailed from a bigger city. Hopefully will write a full post on him. He deserves all praise.)
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