Irfan Khan says..

In various ways, Irfan Khan (diagnosed with a high-grade neuroendocrine tumor) is one of my idols. He is one of my favorite people. He is a big actor as he is a well-read, an intelligent and a deep person. When 'anony' posted this article in comments from Times of India, it took me various days to absorb the depth of it. I was saddened for few days, then astonished and eventually, I was more humble. Irfan Khan said:

"In this chaos, shocked, afraid and in panic, while on one of the terrifying hospital visits, I blabber to my son, “The only thing I expect from ME is not to face this crisis in this present state. I desperately need my feet. Fear and panic should not overrule me and make me miserable.”

"As I was entering the hospital, drained, exhausted, listless, I hardly realised my hospital was on the opposite side of Lord’s, the stadium. The Mecca of my childhood dream. Amidst the pain, I saw a poster of a smiling Vivian Richards..... Once, while standing on the balcony of my hospital room, the peculiarity jolted me. Between the game of life and the game of death, there is just a road. On one side, a hospital, on the other, a stadium. As if one isn’t part of anything which might claim certainty – neither the hospital, nor the stadium. That hit me hard."

"I was left with this immense effect of the enormous power and intelligence of the cosmos... For the first time, I felt what 'freedom' truly means. It felt like an accomplishment. As if I was tasting life for the first time, the magical side of it. My confidence in the intelligence of the cosmos became absolute. I feel as if it has entered every cell of mine."


You can read the full article: https://bit.ly/2yoXz4A

Aik line ka woh khat

Medical College ker ke hum saare dost apni apni zindagi ki bhag doR main juth gaye. Hamare clinical group ka aik laRka Rehan (Renu) sab se alag apne doctor mamu ke haan East Africa chala gaya. Renu aur meri aik alag munfarad 'connection' thi. Use achuti kahanian, novels, mazamin aur latife paRhne ka shoq tha - aur mera bhi kuch aesa hi haal tha. Sab se pehle hum aesi koi cheez aik dusre se sab se pehle share kerte. 

Aik roz America main residency ke second year - mujhe aik khat mila: 
Poora warq khali tha: Sirf darmiyan main likha tha:

"Haramzade bohat yaad aate ho"

 Aaj bhi jab koi dost zindagi se dur nikal jaata hai, dil main chupke se, akele main usey yaad ker ke kehta hun: 'Haramzade/zadi bohat yaad aate(i) ho'

(Is email ne khat likhne ki saari khubsurat yaadoN ko mita diya).

Rat Race

Zindagi main seekha hua koi sabaq barson yaad rehta hai
- aur uski qeemat ka andaza bohat der chalne ke baad hota hai

Jab America ke liye residency kerne ke liye rawana ho raha tha to main apne kuch close teachers se milne gaya - UK se aaye hamare aik teacher ne naseehat ki ke:

"Wahan aik 'rat race' ho gi - magar yaad rakhna :: neither you are a rat nor you are in a race - agar ye yaad rakho ge to sab kuch theek theek chalta rahe ga"

Aaj America main 25 baras guzarne ke baad sochta hun, is se ziyada sach baat koi na thi.

Sikandare-Azam

(I wrote the following post about 25 years ago after graduating from M.B., B.S.  Few days back as I decided to shred many of my old writings, I found the following. I kept it to post for today)

Koi 5 baras rozana - hum medical college ke darwaze pe us buRhe ghoR-gaaRi wale ko us laRki ko utaarte dekha kerte. Maile kuchele kapRe hote - magar aankhoN main aik chamak

Woh laRki ko utaar ker - us waqt tak intazar kiya kerta - jab tak laRki college ke andar nahi paunch jaati. 

Kuch laRke us pe ghatya qism ke jumle bhi kas dete - magar woh darguzar ker ke guzar jaata.

Isi tarah ka silsila sham ko bhi chalta.

Graduation wale din pata laga - woh koi aur nahi, us laRki ka baap tha 

Us laRki ne 4 subjects main gold medal liye - 

Jab stage pe woh gold medal le rahi thi - main babaji ko dekh raha tha - us ki aankhon ki chamak das guna barh chuki thi - aur honton pe sikandere azam jesi faatihana muskurahat thi

 - aur main dil main sochta raha: Zindagi ka asal sikandere azam ye buRha shaks hai jis ne din raat haq halal ki paaii paii jama ker ke aulad ko yahan paunchaya.

Note: There was no father's day on those days. But I guess this post deserves to be saved.  

RIP Anthony Bourdain

"Perhaps wisdom, at least for me, means realizing how small I am, and unwise, and how far I have yet to go....The more places I see and experience, the bigger I realize the world to be. The more I become aware of, the more I realize how relatively little I know of it, how many places I have still to go, how much more there is to learn. Maybe that’s enlightenment enough -- to know that there is no final resting place of the mind, no moment of smug clarity. 

 I grew up in the leafy green bedroom community of Leonia, New Jersey. I did not want for love or attention. My parents loved me. Neither of them drank to excess. Nobody beat me. God was never mentioned -- so I was annoyed by neither religion nor church nor any notions of sin or damnation..

I used to believe that the human race as a whole was basically a few steps above wolves. ... I have since come to believe -- after many meals with many different people in many, many different places -- that though there is no shortage of people who would do us harm, we are essentially good. That the world is, in fact, filled with mostly good and decent people who are simply doing the best they can. Everybody, it turns out, is proud of their food (when they have it). They enjoy sharing it with others (if they can). They love their children. They like a good joke. Sitting at the table has allowed me a privileged perspective and access that others, looking principally for "the story," do not, I believe, always get. … People, wherever they live, are not statistics. They are not abstractions".

A quote

It took me a while to understand the depth of this quote but when I did - it hit me hard.

"Once I get convinced that sooner or later, eventually I will die, everything became secondary" ~ Anonymous

A Slap Which Was Worth Millions

(As told)

I was nine years old when I had a school final results function. I stood first in the class and expected my father to show up that day. I told my mother: 'Dad is so stupid.' When those words came out of my mouth, my mother slapped me very hard. She said: "Did you ever notice that all the other kids in your class have a box of colored pencils with only 12 colors, but you have a box with 24 colored pencils? This is all because your father works in a factory all day".

Italian culture was similar to your Pakistani culture. It was a society where men were supposed to be the breadwinner of the house. My father was a poor but very hardworking man. As a child, I saw my father waking up at 4 in the morning, doing his college assignment, which he attended on Sundays, and going out of the house at 6 in the morning to be a factory worker all day long.

That slap was worth millions.

As I am now a grown-up married woman with two kids, I know when my husband is home after all day of work, he is out there to provide for us. He is not very romantic, but it does not bother me. No! he does not bring flowers and cards for me. He seldom says: I love you. But I know he perspires sweat and blood to keep our household happy.

I needed that slap!

^

Siyām (Fasting)

If you remember few time back, I did one post on "root-of-word-ramadhan" (here). So as our guide Professor Ramadhan explain to us the root meaning of word "ramadhan", he also went on talking on word: "Sawm" (صَوْم)  or plural Siyām (صِيَام). The 3 letters root of word "sawm" in Arabic is "Swad-Waw-Meem" (ص‬ و‬ م‬).

He said, everybody knows that 'Sawm' means to 'stay away' but according to him this is the partial meaning of sawm. Actually, sawm is an extreme word and full implied meaning is "absolutely stay away and flee from". It argues that not only to stay away from bad deeds but trying to move away from them, so you don't do it later when fasting month is over.

Later as internet took off, I found people doing 100s of explanations from extreme orthodox to extreme liberal. But I though it would be nice to share his argument as I didn't see this meaning anywhere else.

First Innings

(After posting my sentiments about second innings - previous post - I expressed the same sentiments in a small iftar party, as coincidently our host was an Ob/Gyn from Pakistan who had to give up her profession after migration and became a housewife. One mutual family friend broke down with tears in eyes and told her story. Luckily, her spouse was not present).

"Aap second innings ki baat ker rahe hain, yahan to first innings hi hamari zaat ko kha gai. Main 'imported bride' hun. Main apne shohar ki dusri biwi hun. Unhon ne yahan pehli shadi green card ke liye ki, bachhe bhi huwe aur phir talaq hui. Woh Pakistan aaye dusri shadi kerne. Hum Panjab ki aik choti si tehsil liaqatpur main rehte the. Pakistan ke south panjab main gurbaat ka aaj bhi wesa hi raaj hai. Hum das bhai bhen, 4 behnain thin. Rishta aaya to ghar walon ne jhat pat biah diya. Yahan aayi to sab kuch tha. Behtreen ghar, mahengi gaari aur har weekend pe doctors ki dawatain. Aap mujeh 'trophy wife' keh sakte hain. DawatoN main, facebook pe aur baatoN main sab kuch achha nazar aata hai - Magar band darwazoN ke peeche main 20 baras se aik ghulam ki zindagi guzar rahi hun. Main kahan, kab aur kis se baat karun gi, kese kapre pehnun gi, kis store tak jaun gi - ye sab unhoN ne decide kerna hai. Har raat mera mobile phone check hota hai. Aulad paida kerne ki ijazat nahi mili. Shohar ko meri aur mere khandan ki saari kamzorion ka ilm hai, is liye kuch keh bhi nahi sakti. - Magar ye sab kuch gawara tha - ke chalo har shadi main koi na koi baat aage peeche hoti hai. Magar main us waqt toot gai - jab mere walid beemar paRe the. Main ghar main sab se choti  beti aur walid ki jaan thi. Woh paigam bhijwate rahe ke aik dafa aa ker hamare marne se pehle surat dikha jao. Main apne shohar se Pakistan jaane ke liye haat joRti rahi magar unhon ne ijazat nahi di. Walid chale gaye phir walida bhi isi tarah guzar gain. Ab to dukh bhi nahi hota. Khushian bhi dam toR gai hain. Umar guzar gai hai. Bas kabhi dil bhar aata hai to ghar ke aangan main khari ho kar aasman ki taraf dekhti hun - to do sitare saath saath nazar aate hain - apne waldain se yun batain ker ke dil halka ker leti hun. Ab to second innings ki bhi koi aas nahi - aur aarzoo bhi nahi".