Aurat aur baap

 Medical college ka shayed 4th year tha. Karachi ki aik suhani raat thi. Bijli gaayeb thi. Aur hum chandni raat main hostel ke bahir manji daal ke cigarette phoonk rahe the.

Main ne us se poocha: "tumhe chor ke us ne us buddhe professor se shadi ker li. Koi to wajah rahi ho gi?"

Us ne cigarette  ka aik kash lagaya aur bola: "Aurat saari zindagi baap hi dhundhti rehti hai."

ﻟﭩﮑﺘﯽ ﺗﺨﺘﯽ

اﯾﮏ ﮐﻮﭨﮭﮯ کی 

ﺗﮩﺬﯾﺐ ﯾﺎﻓﺘﮧ ﻃﻮﺍﺋﻒ ﻧﮯ

ﺩﺭﻭﺍﺯﮮ ﮐﮯ ﺑﺎﮨﺮ

ﻟﭩﮑﺘﯽ ﺗﺨﺘﯽ ﭘﺮ ﻟﮑﮭﻮﺍﯾﺎ

ﻋﺰﺕ ﺑﺮﺍﺋﮯ ﻓﺮﻭﺧﺖ ﮨﮯ

ﻣﮩﺬﺏ ﺣﻀﺮﺍﺕ

ﺁﻧﮯ ﺳﮯ ﭘﮩﻠﮯ

ﺍﭼﮭﺎ ﻏﺴﻞ ﻓﺮﻣﺎ ﻟﯿﮟ

ﺍﻭﺭ ﺟﯿﺒﻮﮞ ﻣﯿﮟ

ﺍﺷﺮﻓﯿﻮﮞ ﮐﻮ ﺍُﻭﻥ ﮐﯽ

ﺗﮭﯿﻠﯽ ﻣﯿﮟ ﮈﺍﻝ ﮐﺮ ﻻﺋﯿﮟ

ﻟﮩﺠﻮﮞ ﮐﻮ ﻧﺮﻡ ﺍﻭﺭ

ﺟﺬﺑﺎﺕ ﮐﻮ ﮔﺮﻡ ﺭﮐﮭﯿﮟ

ﺍﻭﺭ ﺧﯿﺎﻝ ﮐﺮ ﮐﮯ

ﭼﭙﻠﻮﮞ ﻣﯿﮟ ﻟﮕﺎ ﮐﯿﭽﮍ

ﺻﺎﻑ ﮐﺮﮐﮯ ﺁﺋﯿﮟ

ﮨﻤﺎﺭﺍ ﻓﺮﺵ

ﮨﻤﯿﮟ ﺭﺯﻕ ﺩﯾﺘﺎ ﮨﮯ

ﺍﺳﮑﯽ ﺑﮯ ﺣﺮﻣﺘﯽ ﻗﺎﺑﻞِ ﻗﺒﻮﻝ ﻧﮩﯿﮟ

شراب ﮐﻮﭨﮭﮯ ﻣﯿﮟ

ﻭﺍﻓر ﻣﻘﺪﺍﺭ ﻣﯿﮟ ﻣﻮﺟﻮﺩ ﮨﮯ

ﺑﺎﮨﺮ ﺳﮯ ﺧﺮﯾﺪ ﮐﺮ

ﻭﻗﺖ ﮐﺎ ﺿﯿﺎﻉ ﻧﮧ ﮐﺮﯾﮟ

ﺍﻭﺭ ﺩﻻﻝ ﮐﻮ ﺣﺮﺍﻡ

ﺍﯾﮏ ﭘﺎﺋﯽ ﺍﺩﺍ ﻧﮧ ﮐﺮﯾﮟ

ﺍﺳﮯ ﻣﻌﻘﻮﻝ مُعفضہ ﻣﻠﺘﺎ ﮨﮯ

ﺍﻟﺒﺘﮧ ﺑﺎﮨﺮ ﺭﮐﮭﮯ ﮔﺌﮯ

ﭼﻨﺪﮮ ﮐﮯ ﮈﺑﮯ ﻣﯿﮟ

ﺩﻝ ﮐﮭﻮﻝ ﮐﺮ ﭘﯿﺴﮧ ﮈﺍﻟﯿﮟ

ﺁﭘﮑﺎ عطیہ مفلس لوگوں کے  

گھر کی عزاتوں کو طوائف

بننے سے بچانے پر ﺧﺮﭺ ﮐﯿﺎ ﺟﺎﺗﺎ ﮨﮯ

ﺍﻭﺭ ﻣﮩﺮﺑﺎﻧﯽ ﮐﺮﮐﮯ

ﺭﺍﺕ ﮐﮯ ﺁﺧﺮﯼ ﭘﮩﺮ ﻣﯿﮟ

ﮐﻮﭨﮭﮧ ﺧﺎﻟﯽ ﮐﺮﺩﯾﺎ ﺟﺎﺋﮯ

ﮐﯿﻮﮞ ﮐﮧ ﻓﺮﺵ ﮐﯽ

ﺩﮬﻼﺋﯽ ﮐﮯ ﺑﻌﺪ

ﺗﮩﺠﺪ ﮐﯽ ﻧﻤﺎﺯ ﺍﺩﺍ ﮐﯽ ﺟﺎﺗﯽ ﮨﮯ___

On Today's Pakistani Women

At one point I stopped reading Pakistani newspapers as the standard of journalism was getting so gutted. But I have to acknowledge that Daily Dawn has made a comeback. Personally, I believe this is the only newspaper in Pakistan which comes near to the standard journalism. Following article from Rafia Zakaria is an interesting one. She compared the psych of pre-partition Indian women (taken from Ismat Chughtai's character) and evolving psyche of today's Pakistani society (portrayed in TV dramas).

"....These, however, are different sorts of women altogether from the Shama of Chughtai’s time. Instead of being rebels or presenting an alternative to the predominant mores of the moment, they represent regression. The women err and suffer and present cautionary tales of what happens to women who do not at all times worship traditional morality. 

Religion looms large and the woman’s weakness is often a failure to follow it in letter and spirit. The first wife who does not allow her husband to take a second wife is not a normal human being but deficient in her devotion, unable to adequately embrace the tenets of her faith and causing innumerable suffering to all others in her orbit....."

Link: https://www.dawn.com/news/1459274/propaganda-for-the-patriarchy

Aurat ka banna sanwarna

Ye mard ka waham aur sirf us ka ibhaam hi hai ke aurat uske liye banti sanwarti hai. 

Aurat ki zindagi main koi mard na bhi ho to banna sanwarna us ki sarshat main shamil hai.

Aurat sirf apne liye banti sanwarti hai, kiunke usey ye bohat achha lagta hai.

On "A Woman at Age 60"

F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote in 'The Curious Case of Benjamin Button' that: "...Twenty-five is too worldly-wise; thirty is apt to be pale from overwork; forty is the age of long stories that take a whole cigar to tell; sixty is - oh, sixty is too near seventy; but fifty is the mellow age. I love fifty. "

Here is another opinion. - As described by a woman.

I think 60 is the best age for a woman. It is a balanced age for libido, calmness, experiences, health, and emotional intelligence. 

I had my menarche at age 13 and my first kiss at age 14. Yes! Girls are stupid to remember that. I lost my virginity to the first man I truly loved at age 17, and I have no regret for it. For a brief period, I experimented with drugs, sex, tobacco, and binge drinking at the dorm. I had my share of heartbreaks, relationship setbacks, crying spells, and divorce due to physical abuse. I married again to another good man. I raised three children like a typical suburban momma!

But as I continued to age, I slowly became a spectator to life events. I start enjoying my time with myself. 

Though on the way, menopause was a big bummer. For a while, I lost myself. I felt useless. Kids were grown and gone. My husband had lost interest in me and was in his mid-life crisis. I felt like a useless thrown-away tampoon. It took not months but years before the dust settled down. As I recovered, I started enjoying my time reading, shopping, classes at the gym, dinner, and a fine glass of wine with friends, book club, playing bridge, and caring for the house and my health. Now, I keep all my appointments with my doctor and dentist. I still call my relatives and send them cards. But I don't need or expect the same in return.

Please don't take me wrong. I still love and value my husband. We travel together, and I genuinely enjoy it. But now I feel I don't need him. Kids may call or may not call. Thanksgiving and Christmas' are just dates on a calendar. If they visit, I adore their visits and love hugging my grandchildren. I do enjoy their pictures on Facebook and answer their texts. I still sleep in the same bed as my husband. But I don't need any of them anymore.

At age 60, a woman achieves a kind of grace and calmness and enjoys a strange drunkenness. She is very happy and very content. 

I doubt poor men enjoy the same bliss.

*

On "Hijab"

"Mera Shohar kehta hai: Agar main ne hijab nahi pehna to woh mujeh choR dega. Mujhe kiya kerna chahiye? Mere 2 chote bachhe hain. Main kahan jaun gi?"

"Wese to hijab tumhara aur tumhare khuda ke beech ka muamla hai. Par agar tum apne ghar ko pamaali se bachaane ke liye hijab pahen leti ho to mere khayal main, ye amal khuda ki nazar main, hijab pahenne ki har dusri illat se afzal-tar hoga."

On "sorrows of a widow"

"Don't you know that widows or divorced women often have children by the new husband, which resemble the old one?"

A powerful line from 'He Who  Gets Slapped" - a  classic century old American drama and film, actually an adaptation from Russian literature.

On Feminism

For a long time, I wanted to write about Feminism. When I read following interview/article: I think author said all:

"In terms of gender equality, I'm a fully signed-up member. Yet modern feminism is a litany of complaint, fueled by observing the world through a feminist prism—and that I struggle with. It's also dominated by middle-class elitism where a small number of women obsess over the things that really matter most to a small number of elitist women. Ideology demands that women are portrayed as victims at every opportunity. They are always forced, pressured, or coerced. Women, according to feminists, are incapable of rational thought or objective decision making. And where female victims don't exist, feminists go out and manufacture them. I can't help comparing young women who support real causes—like Malala Yousafzai with girls' education in Pakistan, or Fahma Mohamed, with female genital mutilation—with feminists who campaign over getting a woman's face on a bank note or getting tits out of magazines. I'm quite clear about which ones are trying to make the world a better place. There's also that insane group who parade statements such as "Prostitution is violence against women," and "Prostitution is an expression of pure hatred of women." This stuff is rabid, toxic nonsense. Apart from expressing how strongly some women feel about prostitution, those statements don't make any literal sense."

Read full article : http://www.vice.com/read/amsterdam-prostitute-diary

'Written in the Stars' by Ayesha Saeed

What one thing I would have done different! I would have killed Saif and Naila.

I am sure author would have pondered about killing them while writing the manuscript but at last she decided to make it a happily ever after ending. In real world, family would have killed both of them in Land of Pure. Irrespective of ending, its a beautiful novel. Its a simple and a straightforward story but a very powerful one. I had to close the book and take a deep breath when Amin forcefully consummate his marriage with Naila (marital rape).

'Written in the Stars' is a novel about 'kidnapped brides' from western countries to back home for the sake of family's false value of honor! Its about a very very common and under reported problem encountered by desi girls in USA and Europe. Environment in Pakistan was described with so much authenticity that I was wondering, if author travelled to rural Pakistan while writing novel?

What I really liked about this novel is the description of the role of parents and elders of family played in 'kidnapped brides'. Author didn't go any diplomatic and she is telling the truth on the face!

At the end of the novel, links/resources are provided for girls if they fell prey to such circumstances.

(I wish Imran - brother - had larger character in novel)

(link http://www.aishasaeed.com/p/main-page.html )