Faiz on Dhaka

Negotiation

The whole material life is a negotiation, and the real trick is "to know what's going on in the other's mind" or, on the flip side, "to make sure the other side doesn't know what's going on in your mind."

Three basic principles of the above trick:

1. To know the level of your strengths and weaknesses compared to other people in the market OR what extra you can offer that no other can offer.

2. To know how desperate the other side is OR what is at stake for the other side.

3. To know how far you can stretch the other mind psychologically OR to know where is the breaking point.

A good negotiator is a master of creating certainty and uncertainty together and benefiting as much from others' offerings in that environment.

Good luck !!

(Addendum after many years: I have been working at the present job for now about 17 years. This post was written as advice while I was negotiating a contract before joining)

Driving

Life is a lot like driving. Sometimes you need to follow a dumpster truck with no end in sight. 

Shoe Size

"Put yourself in my shoes before you criticize me."

"I can try ! but the size of your shoes is too small to accommodate me"!

Crash

Discrimination is everywhere. It is not a question of white to black or black to white, rich to poor or poor to rich, Mississippi to Texas or Texas to Mississippi, native to outsider or outsider to native, gender to gender, straight to gay or gay to straight. In any form, it is all about insecurity at the bottom of psychology.

Woh paros ki do aurtain hameN subha se dhamkiaN de rahi thiN. Woh hamare kagzaat dekhna chahti thiN ke hum bahir se aaye haiN. Raat hui to woh hamare ghar ghus aaiN. Hum ne madad ke liye police ko phone kiya to unhon ne ye keh ke maazrat ker li ke ab unke paas bhejne ko mazeed force nahi. Shahyed poore shehar main aag lagi thi. Mujhe apne biwi bachhon ki fiqar thi. Wahan se jo bhage to maalum nahi ab peeche woh makan hai bhi ke nahi.

* (Post is named after the movie Crash)

aurat

Woh mumbai ke chopatty beach ke aik dhabe pe kaam kerta tha. Kurel jawan tha. Lambe gile baal aur hulki darhi us pe khub sajhti thi. samandar kinare aksar khule badan rehta. Lurkian dekhte hi fida ho jaatin. Paas hi nuns ka aik hostel tha jis main rehne waali nun students se aksar uska silsila chalta rehta.

Aik roz us hostel ki umer-zada mother us ke dhabe aai aur boli mere saath chaloge. Dil phenk aadmi tha. Baqol ghalib socha, muft haat aaye to bura kia hai, use dhabe ke pachware le aaya. Mother apne ghutnoN beth gai aur is ne patloon ki zip khol patloon neeche ker di. Ab mother ne is ke azue-tanasul ko jo daanton se nochna shuru kiya to is ki cheekh nikal gai. Mother ne use poori tarah cheel ke rukh diya. Ab is ki samjh aaya mother apni students ke saath hone waali harkatoN ki saza dene aayi hai. Jub mother chali gai to kehne laga: "Sala sex ke chakkar main aake bhool gaya nun hai to kiya huwa, aurat bunke intiqaam lene aai thi" !!

kamzor

Aur jub us ne apni kamzor awaz main aadhi raat ko mere kaan main aa ker kaha: "I don't know how to get out of this" - to usne mujhe aik baar phir kamzor ker diya.

Ugliness

If you are born or raised with it or when you live long with it - ugliness disappears.

Chalne do

Main us aurat ko bura kese keh sakta hun jis ne mujh se kaha: "apne bete ko god main na uthao, use chalne do" !

Kirne

Agar Shafiqur-Rehman apna afsana 'KirneN' na likhte to urdu adab main insaan ke lateef jazbaat ki aik teh hamesah kum rehti.

sitare

Sach bolo!! 

Kiya khule aasman ke neeche taron bhare badal ko dekh ker tumhe kuch nahi hota? Tumhe aesa nahi lugta tum kisi bohut bari kaainat ka hissa ho?

Power of unreasonable man

"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore 'all progress' depends on the unreasonable man"!! -

George Bernard Shaw

Key to successful marriage

Is there a key to a guaranteed success of a long and happy marriage?

"No matter what" - commitment to having sexual intercourse at least two times per week.

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Roof

Agar ghar ki tutti chat (roof) ka shuru main bandobast ker liya jaaye to baad main bohut si qimti cheezain burbad hone se bach jaati hain !!

clap

You can tell a lot about a person by how he claps!

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Jesus

Aur Chicago ki Lakeshore drive ki fullerton exit ke aage us ke chote se apartment ki deewar pe 'yasu maseeh' aur 'saleeb' ka nishan laga rehta tha.

Log us se poochte: "tum to musalman ho phir ye kiun?"

Woh Jawab deta: "ye shaks dusre insaanon ke liye suli char gaya tha, main nahi char sakta - bus isi liye" !

Religious inspiration

If one person's religious inspiration becomes perspiration for another, you must question that inspiration.

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Dost

Ye itminan bhi kafi hai ke zindagi main aik dost aesa hai jis ke darwaaze pe, aadmi poora lut luta ker, sarak pe aake, paunchega to woh use usi khushdili se apne ghar jagah de dega.

Two thoughts

Two thoughts after one semi-sleep dream.

1. It was a dream; he was coming to touch me, and then he felt me, but that outer natural touch mingled in my dream. Now the Q? Did my brain sense someone coming to touch me? (Make sense? weird thought?)

2. As outer sensations of light, touch, smell, etc. mingle in our dreams' stories, I am thinking, does cosmic, magnetic, and all different unseen waves from the universe intermingle and mold our thought processes?

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2 things

Two things bring happiness to anyone's life:

1. If you have one person in life to whom you can be devout completely, share anything and vibrate with him without saying a word or even though he or she is 1000 miles away. You are double lucky if that person is your spouse.

2. You enjoy every moment of your work. (In my book, full-time stay-home moms and housewives are working women).

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