Rick Osman aur Data darbar

Rick Osman asal main Riaz Usman hain, ye baat mujhe 2 saal baad pata lagi.

After residency when I started my first job, 'Rick Osman' was our hospital pharmacist. His accent was 100% american. He was tall white, more like a Texan, as well his wife whom I saw once in parking lot was also white. He never gave me any clue that he is from Pakistan.

Jub october 2005 main Pakistan main zalzala aaya to aik roz breakfast ki line main khare unhon ne urdu main kaha: "Kiya azab aaya hai" ! Aahista Aahista unse baat hone lagi to pata laga ke, ......he is from lahore but now in USA for 4 decades. Last time he went to Pakistan 23 years ago but now has no link attached to Pakistan. He named his kids american and feel relieve that he is no more Pakistani. He prefer not to keep in touch with Pakistani people and community.

Aik din main subha hospital pauncha to pata laga ke raat Riaz shahab ki 17 saala beti ko "drug overdose" ke saath ICU main admit kiya gaya hai. She had a good down time with asystole and we were very concerned about anoxic encephelopathy. Riaz shahab bohut pareshan nazar aaye. Everyone in hospital was around and was on top of things......magar unki beti ki halat theek nahi ho rahi thi.

Aik sham mujhe hospital se nikalte der ho gai. Darwaze se bahir Riaz shahab pareshani ke alam main cigarette pi rahe the. Aankhen num thi. Shave barhi hui thi. Main un ke saath khara ho gaya. Bole: "She was such a bright kid. High SAT score. No clue where things went wrong?" Main khamosh raha. Kafi der chup rahe. Parking lot main bethe kabootron ko dekhte rahe. Phir bole: "Main aik bar bachpun main bohut bimar ho gaya tha. Mere bachne ki koi umeed nahi thi. Mere walid ne data darbar (Hazarat Data Gunj Bakhsh) ja ker ro ro ke bohut dua ki aur phir meri halat sambhal gai. Jub tuk lahore main raha, data darbar ki niyaz deta raha."....

Phir mere kaandhe pe haath rukh ker bole: "Aaj Lahore aur data darbar bohut yaad aa raha hai. Tumhe koi local masjid maalum hai. Pehle hi bohut der ho chuki hai".

Sultan and Margret - 2

Agar aap ko Sultan aur Margret ki kahani yaad ho, jis ki punch line sultan ka ye jumla tha ke: "Zindagi main tum dekhna woh aurat hamesha apne mard pe raaj kerti hai jis main sense of humor ho. Jo hur baat pe muskurati ho. Kiunke mard aik aesi tapish hai jeese hur waqt chaun chaiye. Aurat ki muskurahat uska secret comfort zone hai" !

Meri un se mulaqaton ke doran Margret ki kahi hui aik baat reh gai thi..yaad aai hai to likhta chalun. Margret ne un dinon aik bari khubsurat baat kahi thi ke:

"Kuch mard to hote hi kamine hain magar ziyada tar mard qaabile qabool hote hain. Aurat ka problem ye hai ke woh ideal mard ki khawish kerti  rehti hai aur bhool jaati hai ke agar aurat jawani main mard ko apna na bana sake, to us ka burhapa bara mushkil ho jaata hai. Mard phir kubhi uska nahi ho sakta."

Maushami

Agar aap ne Jhumpa Lahiri ka novel 'namesake' parha ho, to us main aik larki ka kirdar hai, Maushami (jise badqismati se director mira nair film main durust tarah se portray kerne main, buri tarah se nakam rahi hain). .....Maushami is a screwed but a very sad character.

Jub larki jawan ho rahi ho aur agar us pe larkon ki nazrain na pare, ya log us ki khubsurti ki daad na de, ya us ke jazbat ander hi ander dahakte rahain, ya agar woh khubsurat na ho, to kabhi kabhar, ye lawa kisi roz itni zor se pahtta hai ke woh har mard ki nazre-altafa'at chahna shuru ker deti hai. Use mardon ke saath sone ki adat ho jaati. Woh hur lamhe 'rebellious acknowledgement' chahti hai. Maushami ki shadi aik achhe insaan Gogol se ho jaati hai magar shadi ke baad bhi woh dusre mardon ki adat nahi chor sakti.

Bachpan ka ghao saari zindagi nasoor bun ker behta rehta hai.

Aik ka sawa lakh

Babu prasad singh yahan america main mere parosi hain. Un ke 6 bachhe hain. 3 idhar america main aur 3 udhar Bombay main. Babu parsad singh kabhi yahan aur kabhi wahan rehte hain, ghumte phirte hain aur khub maze kerte hain. Aaj subha sunday ko main bhi un ke saath mandir chal para. 20 acre pe naya naya bana mandir kafi 'impressive' aur khubsurat hai. Woh ooper apni puja path kerte rahe aur main ghum ghum ke mandir ki sair kerta raha. Saath neeche utre to wahan mandir ke neeche aik choti si desi grocery store hai, jis se babu prasad singh ne bahut sara saman kharida. Jab hum car main bethe to main ne kaha: "Bapu ! itna sara saman - kiya karo ge aap ?"

Babu ne kaha: "ye grocery store aik widhwa (widow) ka hai. Aaj kal log mandir kum aate hain isi liye bechari ka store bhi nahi chalta, isi liye yunhi saman kharid leta hun".

Phir kuch der chup rahe aur bole: "aaj se 30 baras pehle meri bhi Mumbai main aik choti si karyane ki dukan thi. Bari mushkil se mera guzara hota tha. Mera bal bal qarze main duba tha. Meri dukan pe aese hi aik widhwa aurat chawal daal kharidne aati thi. Us ke 5 bachhe the. Main kabhi us se paise na leta tha. Woh mujhe hamesah dua deti ke, tu mere bachhon ka pet bharta hai, bhagwan tere bachhon aur un ke bachhon ka pet bhara rakhe. Aaj mere 6 ke 6 bachhe khub khushal hain. Rupe paise ki koi kami nahi. Mera dil kehta hai, ye usi aurat ki duwaon ka kerna hai. Bus isi liye is aurat ki grocery store se bhi bewajah cheezain le leta hun......Yaqin mano, achhi niyyat se diya kabhi bekaar nahi jaata. Aik ka sawa lakh wapas milta hai"

Burhapa

"Be nice to your kids, they will choose your nursing home" - A bumper sticker


Jub hum chote chote bachhe the to hamari dadi taaron bhare aasman ke neeche, ghar ki chat (roof) pe, gadda, takya laga ke kahanian sunaya kerti thin. Meri umer koi 7/8 baras rahi hogi magar us umer main bhi hum un ki god pe sir rakh ke jin, dev, pari aur hur mafuqul-fitrat makhluq ko haqiqat samjhte. Lekin kabhi kabhi woh hame 'real' zindagi ki kahanian bhi suna detin. Bachpan ki suni un hikayaton main se aik kahani aaj kul america kiya bulke pakistan main bhi burhe logon ko dekh ker bohut yaad aati hai.

Kisi gaun main aik burhi amma rehti thi. Us ke paas aik bari bhari bharkam peti thi, jis pe aik bara sa taala para rehta. Hur roz woh chupke chupke us peti ko dekha kerti aur zor se taala bajati. Hur koi samjhta ke burhia ne ander kafi daulat jama ker ke rakhi hai. us ke chaar bete aur bahu the. Har koi us pe beecha beecha jata. Har koi us ki aao bhagat kerta. Aur phir aik din burhia fot ho gai. Abhi burhia ke qabar ki mitti sukhi bhi na hogi ke sab ne us peti ka taala tora. Ander sirf bhari bhari pathar bhare the aur aik parchi thi, jis pe likha tha: "agar ye na kerti to burhape main tum log mera khayal na rukhte".

Agar burhape main insaan ki maali halat theek na ho to guzara muskil ho jata hai. Allah jane aulad kitni kaam aati hai. Aap ne amitabh ki film 'baghban' to dekhi ho. Aur aap ko Ajmal Shahab ki babasi bhi yaad ho gi.

Life

Puzzle of life -

May be simple for some but complicated for others !

My 2 friends and Pakistan

Shahzeb don't want to go back to Pakistan because - he is from high elite class of Pakistan and did most of his school and college in Europe and USA and 'prefer' to stay in his comfort zone.

Aqeel don't want to go back to Pakistan because - he is from lower middle class of Pakistan, raised in slums of Karachi and 'prefer' not to go back to same poverty stricken land.

Rishte

Ye un dinon ki baat hai jub main medical school ke shayed 3rd ya 4th year main tha. Hum ne Sindhi Medicos Association ke saath tharparkar, Sindh ke ilaqe main medical camp lagaya tha. Aik roz hamare camp main 10/11 aurton ka aik group aaya - kisi ko khansi thi to kisi ko skin ka koi infection. Us group main 60/65 baras ki amma bhi thi. Us ka chehra aaj bhi mujhe hu-bahu yaad hai. Balon main safedi thi. Mere saath aik sindhi volunteer mujhe 'translation' main help ker raha tha. Neeche likhi saari guftago sindhi main hui magar main urdu ka sahara le raha hun:

" amma ! kupre aur chehre se na to tu 'bheel' lagti hai aur na 'kholi' bulke tum to tharparkar ki hi nahi lagti ho?" (Bheels and kholis are 2 different kind of cultural inhabitants there)

"Main to udhar ooper khairpur se bhi aage aik goth (village) se aai hun"

"Khairpur se ho to yahan Chahro main kiya ker rahi ho, aur aage kahan ja rahi ho"

"Aage 'kutch' tak jaana hai"

"Udhar shehra (desert) main kiya dhundne ja rahi ho?"

"munjho ghar-walo utte aa (mera ghar wala udhar hai), uke talpur ja manhu uthai wiya hain, (use talpur ke aadmi utha ke le gaye hain)"

"Cha thio (what happen) ?"

Baat ye thi ke - us amma ke shohar ne kisi talpur se paisa qarz liya tha, wapas na ker saka to woh use utha ke kahin 'kutch' main le gaye the. Suna hai, wahan unhe india ke ilaqe se hone wali smuggling main begaar ke tor pe istamaal kerte the. Ab ye burhi amma use dhundne us taraf ja rahi thi.

Mere saath ke aadmi ne kaha: "teri aik aurat ki kaun sunega. Tere ghar-wale ke saath tujhe bhi rakh lain ge ya tujhe zabardasti wapas bhej dain ge... Phir chakkar kate gi. ...Meri maan to wapas khairpur chali ja. Khud hi kuch dinon main tere ghar wale ko talpur wapas bhej dain ge. Woh aese hi darate hain. Ja wapas chali ja"

Us aurat ka jawab aaj bhi mujhe yaad hai: " Je ho te ho per munjha gharwale te ie itminan to hundo ke ma unh laaye aai hui (jo ho so ho, per mere ghar waale ko ye to itminan ho ga ke main peeche se dhundhne aai thi)".

Sochta hun, insaani rishte sirf 'trust' pe palte hain aur kabhi kabhi us trust ko nibhana kitna mushkil ho jaata hai. 

Gaun ki woh aurat, jise hum anparh, jaahil aur ganwar kehte hain mujhe saari zindagi rishte nibhane ka sabaq sikha gai.

Anger

Gussa aag ki ruhani shakal hai, jo qaboo main rahe to roti bana ke khorak mauhiyya kerti hai aur be-qaboo ho jaaye to ghar ko jala deti hai !!

But read this interesting story

"Despite its reputation as an impetus to rash behavior, anger actually seems to help people make better choices—even aiding those who are usually very poor at thinking rationally. This could be because angry people base their decisions on the cues that "really matter" rather than things that can be called irrelevant or a distraction. .......So Wesley Moons, a psychologist at the University of California at Santa Barbara, and his colleague Diana Mackie designed three experiments to determine how anger influences thinking—whether it makes people more analytical or careful about their decisions, or whether it leads people to make faster, rasher decisions."

Anger fuels better decisions (click)

Addicted to Kaaba

Aslam se, bulke Dr. Aslam se main bohut saalon baad mila. College ke zamane main mere khayalat kafi "progressive" the isilye sare daherye, leftist, azad khayal aur new age type log mere dost the. Aslam nazaryati tor pe poora athesit tha. Main ne MBBS ker ke Pakistan chor diya magar Aslam wahin reh gaya. Aslam jab america ghumne aaya aur us ne mujhe call ki to mera weekend off tha. Hum ne poora din saath guzara. Agli, pichli kai batain huin. Un baaton main se aik baat mujhe yaad reh gai.

Hum aik desi restaurant main beth ker khana kha rahe the aur peeche Mohd. Rafi ka ye gana baj raha tha "...kisi ko nasha ha jahan main khushi ka, kisi ko nasha hai game-zindagi ka....." Is se hamari baton ka silsila 'addiction' ke mozun per nikal chala.

Main ne Aslam se poocha: "Tumhe kubhi koi addiction laga?"

Aslam ne kaha: "Mujhe aik baar kaabe ka addiction ho gaya tha"

Aslam jese daherye (atheist) se ye baat sun ke mujhe bahut ajeeb laga. Main ne hairat se poocha: "you mean khana-e-kaaba ka addiction?"

Us ne bataya: "Tum to jaante ho main to sirf naam ka musalman tha. Aik baar Haj ke liye doctron ki team ko bhi bheja ja raha tha. Mera naam bhi nikal aaya. Main ne kaha chalo free main saudi arab ghum aaun. Jese hi hum Mecca paunche, saare log haram ki ziyarat ke liye chal pare. Marta kiya na kerta main bhi sath chal para. Magar yaqeen karo, na jaane us imarat main kiya baat thi ke, I could not keep my eyes off that black box. Jub tak hum Haram main rahe, main ghanton khara khanae-kaba ko takta rehta. Na mujhe khane ka hosh rehta na peene ka. Main mecca ki un galion main pheera jahan kubhi huzur phira kerte the. Gaare Hira dekhne gaya. Jannatul Baqeeh ke kabrastan gaya magar kaaba mujhe har lamhe magnet ki tarah khencha kerta. Main madina gaya magar mecca ke liye dil tarapta raha. Mere zahen ki saari taqat mafqood ho jaati thi. Koi cheez aankhon ke saamne chalti rehti. Agar mere biwi bachhe peeche na hote to main wahin ruk jaata. Pakistan wapas aaya to raaton ko uth ker rone lagta. Dil kerta ke uR ker mecca paunch jaun. Mujhe kisi ne tableeg nahi ki. Na mera Islam ko gale lagane ka koi irada tha. Main america, europe ke kai shehron main ghuma aur bari bari imaratain dekhi magar us imarat ki maqnateesiat mujhe le dubi..."

Main sunta raha aur sochta raha - kiya yahi woh man-o-salwa hai jo aasman se utarta hai !!

Personality and Profession

I don't know, is this the personality which chooses profession or is it the profession which changes people's' personality?

Let me explain

Being a physician, I have to dealt with various kind of physicians. Neurologists are dry, Surgeons are blunt and ruthless, Anesthesiologists are irritated, Ophthalmologists are mysterious... (I understand it's a generalization and a stereotyping)

Is it type of residency which change them or they choose specific speciality?..... anyway

And in real life, I found accountants - barren, businessmen - devoid of depth and computer geeks - too much of questioning....anyway

(I sincerely apologize if this post offended anyone...anyway)

Wa Tuizzu man tasah, wah tuzillu man tasah

Agar meri tamam tar koshish aur nek-niyyati ke bawajood mere kaam nahi huwe, to Quran ki jo ayat (3:26) mujhe bohut yaad aai


"Say O Allah. Lord of Power (And Rule), Thou givest power to whom Thou pleasest, and Thou strippest off power from whom Thou pleasest: Thou enduest with honour whom Thou pleasest, and Thou bringest low whom Thou pleasest: In Thy hand is all good. Verily, over all things Thou hast power.

Us ke baad ki aayat bhi kamal ki hai, jis main hamari is "complaint" ka jawab hai ke "kese keson ko diya hai, aese weson ko diya hai",

"......wa Tarzuqu man tasha bigaire hisab" (3:27)
".....and Thou givest sustenance to whom Thou pleasest, without measure."

Stock market and women

The stock market is unpredictable like women. 

(Said to me by my financial advisor).

What not to do

Learning is a life long process:
from "what to do" to "what not to do" !

Kiya kerne se ziyada ye janna zarori hai, ke kiya nahi kerna !!

Musabbab al-asbab

Khuda ka aik naam hai - Musabbab al-asbab. Mutlab woh reasons ko paida kerne waala hai (or in other words he creates the causes).

Allah taala hamari zindagion main aasman se utar ker nahi aata magar aese halat paida ker deta hai ke, hamara kaam ho jaate hain (ya kabhi kabhi kaam nahi bhi hote). Woh reason itna sada, itna aasan, ya aesa unexpected hota hai ke aadmi kehta hai: "ye to socha bhi na tha". Kabhi koi farishta bun ker aa jata hai, kabhi bewaqt Baarish aa jaati hai, traffic jam main phans ke crash hone waali flight miss ho jaati hai ya..... we end up at right place for all unknown reasons....

Jab hum medical college main daakhil huwe to hamare saath aik lurka tha Nasir. Nasir was from a well to do family. Woh defence (karachi) ke posh tareen ilaqe main rehta tha. Allah ne uski shakshiat ko bari wajahat ata ki thi. Kirdar bhi achha tha. Goya allah ki har rehmat maujud thi bus aik gam-e-ashiqi tha. Jawani main qadam rakhte hi Nasir ko apne mohalle main aik larki se ishq ho gaya (jese hum sub ko ye bimari niklti hai). Larki bhi nasir ko dil de bethi. Hum ye qissa sunte sunte 4th year tak paunch gaye. Kisi wajah se Nasir aur larki ke baap main dushmani chali aa rahi thi aur nasir ka baap kisi tor shadi ke liye raazi na hota tha. Ab ye koi  film to thi nahi ke larki bhag jaati, bulke sidha sadha (us waqt ka) pakistani muaashra tha.

Aik roz Nasir ke waalid Tariq road se aik car dealership se nikal ker pedal gari ki taraf ja rahe the unpe heart attack ka dora para. Us din Nasir ki maashuqa ka driver jalse juloos ki wajah se raasta bhatak gaya ...... and end up at the same moment in same 'gali' where nasir's father was getting dizzy. To make long story short, she realized that its a heart attack and wisely asked her driver to take car directly to Jinnah hospital (remember there were no cell phones in that time and there were only one or 2 cardiac centers in karachi). He got timely care, which required bypass surgery and got new life. This changed his heart and kids were finally married when we were in final year. I remember they had huge celebration in Holiday inn (now marriott) hotel. Now they have 2 grownup kids and living happily in california.

.....To allah bara musabbab al-asbab hai. Wahi raaaste banata hai. Aap ne Quran ki surah-e-feel to parhi hogi!

Monogamous

Maria ko main koi 8 baras se jaanta hun. Ye koi chothi (4th) baar us ne apni gaari badli hai. Magar har baar woh aik hi model ki (lexus RX) aur aik hi rang ki (black) gaari upgrade kerti hai. Main ne us se kaha: "yaar tum itne paise barbad kerti ho, koi naya model try karo aur kuch nahi to kum az kum rang hi badal lo". Us ne mujhe muskura ke deka aur boli: "You know, by nature women are monogamous" !

Things are things... replaceable

Since I start reading and later doing my own blog, one person always remained on top of my blogroll and that person is Aisha. Anyone can blog but very few do with quality. Aisha has amazing combination of style, command, language, precision, genuine thoughts, emotions and humor.

In one of her recent blog, she described her family's ordeal during (in)famous Hurricane Andrew which struck florida in 1992.....

"...I remember stepping out after Hurricane Andrew swirled over our heads as we hovered in a barricaded hallway and carefully stepping over shards of glass and sifting through the debris for something, anything, that could be salvaged. As tears welled up, my father softly said "all these things are things... replaceable... as long as we have each other everything will be okay" This has remained my one truth. True relationships are worth more than all the gold in the world. Gold can't hug you when you had a bad day, nor does money drop by with cake when they heard your good news. Material things can fill certain voids but not the ones nestled deepest within our hearts..."