"Everything in life is about perception"
"Sachchai pani ki tarah hai jo har kisi ko uske apne piyale main milti hai. Zaroori nahi, tumhara sach mera bhi sach ho aur mera jhoot tumhara bhi jhoot ho"
Monday, July 28, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
Hafeez Bhai
Hafeez Bhai mere sab se bare cousin ke dost the aur hamare makan pe aksar aana jaana tha. Naam to unka kuch aur tha magar chunke hafize-Quran the is liye naam bigarte bigarte hafeez ho gaya. Hafeez Bhai kamal ki cricket khelte the. Ye woh daur tha jub Javed Miandad ne Karachi se Cricket ki duniya main tehlka machaya huwa tha aur Karachi ki har gali, mohalle aur maidan main har koi Javed Miandad banne ka khawab dekh raha tha. Hum chote the magar bhaiyon ke saath hafeez bhai ke match dekhne national stadium, eidgah maidan aur gali kuchon main jaya kerte. Bari raunaq lagti. Kubhi night match hote to kubhi tape ball tournament. Hum ne Hafeez Bhai ke hawale se kai cricketers se autograph liye. (Allah jaane woh kitab kahan gai jis main Javed Miandad, Aftab Baluch, Wasim Raja, Haroon Rasheed, Salim Yusuf aur aese kai logon ke autograph the). Hafeez Bhai hame bara piyar kerte. Un dinon Karachi main Ramzan ke mahine main "Super cup" hota tha. Poora shahr ikkhta hota. Hafeez Bhai final khel rahe the. Hum paunche to Hafeez bhai boundary pe fielding ker rahe the. Hume dekha to aese tension main bhi apni jeb main 'fanta toffee' lana nahi bhule the.
Phir aik din Hafeez bhai ki shadi ho gai. Hamare haan aana jana kum ho gaya. Mujhe zindagi main cricket se ziyada dusri cheezon se dilchaspi paida ho gai. Ab kubhi saal do saal main hafeez bhai eid eid pe milte.
Phir main america aa gaya. Barson guzar gaye. Main to hafeez bhai ko bhool bhi gaya. Aik din ye khabar mili ke hafeez bhai ki biwi unke dono bachhon ko le ker america aa gayi hai. Main ye baat bhi bhool gaya. Ab ki baar Pakistan ja raha tha to bare cousin ne hafeez bhai ke liye kuch saman diya. Main jub unhe saman dene nazimabad ki gol market gaya to hafeez bhai bohut umer raseedah nazar aaye. Magar usi piyar se mile. Unhon ne apni choti si kahani sunai.
"Log kehte hain Pakistan main mard aurton pe zulm kerte hain. Meri biwi ke dimag pe daulat sawar thi. Pakistan ko woh jahaanum samjhti thi. Pehle din se woh america jana chahti thi. Use lagta tha ke aik maulvi se us ki shadi ne uski zindagi barbad ker di hai. Talaq le ker pehle chali jaati to dil na bethta magar jub gai to mere dono bachhon ko bhi le gai. Roz jeeta hun aur roz marta hun. Har namaz ke baad yahi dua mangta hun, Ya Allah aik dafa aulad se mila de. Ab to uska pata bhi nahi ke kahan hai".
Hafiz Bhai jese piyare, bachhon ke saath itni shafqat rakhne wale insaan ke saath aesa zulm ho jaaye......Pakistan main aurton pe zulm ki sterotyping main hafeez bhai pees gaye. Allah unki dua qabool farmaye.
Phir aik din Hafeez bhai ki shadi ho gai. Hamare haan aana jana kum ho gaya. Mujhe zindagi main cricket se ziyada dusri cheezon se dilchaspi paida ho gai. Ab kubhi saal do saal main hafeez bhai eid eid pe milte.
Phir main america aa gaya. Barson guzar gaye. Main to hafeez bhai ko bhool bhi gaya. Aik din ye khabar mili ke hafeez bhai ki biwi unke dono bachhon ko le ker america aa gayi hai. Main ye baat bhi bhool gaya. Ab ki baar Pakistan ja raha tha to bare cousin ne hafeez bhai ke liye kuch saman diya. Main jub unhe saman dene nazimabad ki gol market gaya to hafeez bhai bohut umer raseedah nazar aaye. Magar usi piyar se mile. Unhon ne apni choti si kahani sunai.
"Log kehte hain Pakistan main mard aurton pe zulm kerte hain. Meri biwi ke dimag pe daulat sawar thi. Pakistan ko woh jahaanum samjhti thi. Pehle din se woh america jana chahti thi. Use lagta tha ke aik maulvi se us ki shadi ne uski zindagi barbad ker di hai. Talaq le ker pehle chali jaati to dil na bethta magar jub gai to mere dono bachhon ko bhi le gai. Roz jeeta hun aur roz marta hun. Har namaz ke baad yahi dua mangta hun, Ya Allah aik dafa aulad se mila de. Ab to uska pata bhi nahi ke kahan hai".
Hafiz Bhai jese piyare, bachhon ke saath itni shafqat rakhne wale insaan ke saath aesa zulm ho jaaye......Pakistan main aurton pe zulm ki sterotyping main hafeez bhai pees gaye. Allah unki dua qabool farmaye.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Fish and pond
I always wondered: Is it good to be a small fish in a big pond or a big fish in a small pond?
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Kalla !!
Is blog pe aap ko yaad ho to main ne aik post ajmal sahab ki bebasi ke hawale se likhi thi, Usi waqt ka aik aur waqiya jo mujhe yaad reh gaya, woh bhi tawajjah ka talib hai.
Meri wahi geriatric rotation jis 'skilled nursing facility' main thi, us ke aik secutity guard "desi" hazrat the. Ab naam yaad nahi magar unka taaluq jalandhar, punjab se tha aur unki wahan bhi india/pakistan ke bank security guards ki tarah 'aye bari bari dhashatnak munchain' thi.
Main subah walk ker ke aqab ke darwaze se 'nursing facility' main daakhil hota tha. Aik subah, darwaze pe food services ki gaari thi aur woh security guard saman utarwane main masroof the. Darwaza khula tha. Main apne doctors' coat main tha aur ab tuk meri un se baat-cheet ho chali thi. Main darwaze se daakhil hone laga to mere saath hi aik "Afro-american" bhi dhakil ho gaya. Main ne to koi ziyada dhiyan nahi diya magar jab woh 'black' building main daakhil hone laga to security guard ki us per nazar pari aur woh uske peeche bhage magar tub tuk - that black was gone in elevator. Security guard ne mujhe se urdu/hindi main kaha: "sala kalla ! ander ghus gaya. Ye itna saman dekh ke chori ke liye hi ghusa hoga". Main chup raha. Sach kahun, to shayed aik lamhe ko main bhi unki baat ka qaa'il ho gaya.
Main apne floor pe pauncha to woh "kalla" apni burhi ma ko dekhne aaya tha.
Hum sab khud kitne racist aur sterotyped hain. Mujhe khud bohut sharam aayi.
Meri wahi geriatric rotation jis 'skilled nursing facility' main thi, us ke aik secutity guard "desi" hazrat the. Ab naam yaad nahi magar unka taaluq jalandhar, punjab se tha aur unki wahan bhi india/pakistan ke bank security guards ki tarah 'aye bari bari dhashatnak munchain' thi.
Main subah walk ker ke aqab ke darwaze se 'nursing facility' main daakhil hota tha. Aik subah, darwaze pe food services ki gaari thi aur woh security guard saman utarwane main masroof the. Darwaza khula tha. Main apne doctors' coat main tha aur ab tuk meri un se baat-cheet ho chali thi. Main darwaze se daakhil hone laga to mere saath hi aik "Afro-american" bhi dhakil ho gaya. Main ne to koi ziyada dhiyan nahi diya magar jab woh 'black' building main daakhil hone laga to security guard ki us per nazar pari aur woh uske peeche bhage magar tub tuk - that black was gone in elevator. Security guard ne mujhe se urdu/hindi main kaha: "sala kalla ! ander ghus gaya. Ye itna saman dekh ke chori ke liye hi ghusa hoga". Main chup raha. Sach kahun, to shayed aik lamhe ko main bhi unki baat ka qaa'il ho gaya.
Main apne floor pe pauncha to woh "kalla" apni burhi ma ko dekhne aaya tha.
Hum sab khud kitne racist aur sterotyped hain. Mujhe khud bohut sharam aayi.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Khushnaseeb Insaan
Kisi mard ke liye 'unemployed' ho jana aik bara nafsiyati 'shock' hota hai.
Prakash uncle ki mere ghar ke qareeb 'postal services and mail boxes' ki aik choti si shop hai. By profession he is an engineer. Main aksar unki shop pe jata rehta hun. Unse suni aik baat ne mujhe zindagi main bohut kuch sikhaya hai.
"Main 1972 main america aaya. Tub se aik hi company main engineer tha. 5 baras pehle aik din main aik dum se layoff ho gaya. It was like an electric shock. I lost my ego, pride, self esteem and self respect in a flash. I was devastated. Main Ghar aa ker sir pakar ker sofe pe beth gaya. Itni himmat bhi nahi hoti thi ke biwi se kahun ke - naukri chut gai hai. Jub darte darte main ne apni biwi ko bataya ke, main layoff ho gaya hun to us ne jawab diya: "Good! ye to bohut achha huwa. Tumhari roz aik hi aik kahani sun ke main bore ho gai thi. Ab kuch din aram karo phir dekhainge kiya kerna hai. Meanwhile if needed, I will do some job"
Prakash uncle kehte hain, us din se mere dil se ye dar nikal gaya ke 'kul kiya hoga'. Mujhe us din pata laga ke 'jise bure waqt main saath nibhane wali biwi mil jaaye wahi khushnaseeb insaan hai'.
(I wrote above post solely from man mindset with apologies to other gender)
Prakash uncle ki mere ghar ke qareeb 'postal services and mail boxes' ki aik choti si shop hai. By profession he is an engineer. Main aksar unki shop pe jata rehta hun. Unse suni aik baat ne mujhe zindagi main bohut kuch sikhaya hai.
"Main 1972 main america aaya. Tub se aik hi company main engineer tha. 5 baras pehle aik din main aik dum se layoff ho gaya. It was like an electric shock. I lost my ego, pride, self esteem and self respect in a flash. I was devastated. Main Ghar aa ker sir pakar ker sofe pe beth gaya. Itni himmat bhi nahi hoti thi ke biwi se kahun ke - naukri chut gai hai. Jub darte darte main ne apni biwi ko bataya ke, main layoff ho gaya hun to us ne jawab diya: "Good! ye to bohut achha huwa. Tumhari roz aik hi aik kahani sun ke main bore ho gai thi. Ab kuch din aram karo phir dekhainge kiya kerna hai. Meanwhile if needed, I will do some job"
Prakash uncle kehte hain, us din se mere dil se ye dar nikal gaya ke 'kul kiya hoga'. Mujhe us din pata laga ke 'jise bure waqt main saath nibhane wali biwi mil jaaye wahi khushnaseeb insaan hai'.
(I wrote above post solely from man mindset with apologies to other gender)
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
3 Pardeh
Jub main Pakistan chor ker pehli dafa America aa raha tha to amma ne naseehat ki: "Beta! 3 cheezon ka pardah rakhna - aurat ka, daulat ka aur apne dastarkhawan ka".
Ye naseehat samjhne main mujhe 15 baras lag gaye. Matlab tha ke
1) be-hayai se bachna
2)Paison ki numaish na kerna aur
3) jo rizq mile sabar-o-shukar se kha lena
Ye naseehat samjhne main mujhe 15 baras lag gaye. Matlab tha ke
1) be-hayai se bachna
2)Paison ki numaish na kerna aur
3) jo rizq mile sabar-o-shukar se kha lena
Friday, July 11, 2008
Woh aik khawab !
Aaj subah kagaz pe taarikh daalte mera haat 2 seconds ke liye ruk gaya. Aaj july ki 11 tarikh hai. Is din mujhe Ahsan Ali bohat yaad aata hai. Ahsan Ali mere liye sage bhaion ki tarah tha.
Ab yaad nahi ke kiun ye taarikh hamare beech aik bandhan bun gai - shayed ye woh taarikh thi jub main ne residency ke bad Chicago chora aur Ahsan Ali mujh se aakhri baar mila. Aahista aahista hamara taaluq kum hota gaya magar har saal is taarikh ko uska voicemail pe aik chota sa message zaroor hota ke: " Aese hi phone kia tha, call me if you get time". Aur call back na kerne ka jo ranj mujhe saari zindagi rahe ga us ka zikar pehle (here) ker chuka hun.
Uski maut se koi darh saal pehle ki baat hai. Mujhe khawab (dream) aaya ke main pareshani ke alam main 'dizzy' ho ke girne wale Ahsan Ali ko, us ke ghar se ghasit ke nikalta hun aur deewar se laga ker, pehle bahen ki aur phir ma ki gali de ker kehta hun ke - "agar tu ne talaq nahi li to is gum ko le ker do saal main hi mar jaaye ga". Ahsan Ali ko galion se shadeed nafrat thi aur use koi baat zabardasti samjhani ho to hi main mun se gaali nikalta tha. Pehle din mujhe khayal aaya ke Ahsan Ali ko phone karun. Mujhe Ahsan ali ki 'azwaji nachakion' (Marital problems) ka koi ilm nahi tha. Phir main ne ise sirf aik 'dream' samjh ke jaane diya. Aur Ahsan Ali sach much 2 saal ke andar Allah ko piyara ho gaya. Inna lillahi wa inna ilahi rajeun !
Bandhan ki manfi tapish ("Relatioship's negative energy" ) bohut barh jaaye to uski jhankar dur tuk jati hai aur aksar bandhe insaanon ki jaan bhi le leti hai.
Kubhi khayal aata hai - kiun us se koi baat nahi ki phir sochta hun agar ye waqiah aaj hota to main kiya kerta? Shayed wahi kerta jo tub kiya tha. Aadmi kese kisi se keh de ke talaq le le, woh bhi sirf aik khawab ki bunyad pe? Ashfaq Ahmad Ka kehna hai ke keh dene wali sharmindagi, us ahsase nadamat (guilt) se behtar hai jo saari zindagi saath rehti hai. Baqol Munir Niazi
madad kerni ho us ki, yaar ki dharas bandhana ho
bahut derena raston pe kisi se milne jaana ho
kisi ko maut se pehle, kisi gum se bachana ho
Hamesah der ker deta hun main , hur kaam kerne main
Ab yaad nahi ke kiun ye taarikh hamare beech aik bandhan bun gai - shayed ye woh taarikh thi jub main ne residency ke bad Chicago chora aur Ahsan Ali mujh se aakhri baar mila. Aahista aahista hamara taaluq kum hota gaya magar har saal is taarikh ko uska voicemail pe aik chota sa message zaroor hota ke: " Aese hi phone kia tha, call me if you get time". Aur call back na kerne ka jo ranj mujhe saari zindagi rahe ga us ka zikar pehle (here) ker chuka hun.
Uski maut se koi darh saal pehle ki baat hai. Mujhe khawab (dream) aaya ke main pareshani ke alam main 'dizzy' ho ke girne wale Ahsan Ali ko, us ke ghar se ghasit ke nikalta hun aur deewar se laga ker, pehle bahen ki aur phir ma ki gali de ker kehta hun ke - "agar tu ne talaq nahi li to is gum ko le ker do saal main hi mar jaaye ga". Ahsan Ali ko galion se shadeed nafrat thi aur use koi baat zabardasti samjhani ho to hi main mun se gaali nikalta tha. Pehle din mujhe khayal aaya ke Ahsan Ali ko phone karun. Mujhe Ahsan ali ki 'azwaji nachakion' (Marital problems) ka koi ilm nahi tha. Phir main ne ise sirf aik 'dream' samjh ke jaane diya. Aur Ahsan Ali sach much 2 saal ke andar Allah ko piyara ho gaya. Inna lillahi wa inna ilahi rajeun !
Bandhan ki manfi tapish ("Relatioship's negative energy" ) bohut barh jaaye to uski jhankar dur tuk jati hai aur aksar bandhe insaanon ki jaan bhi le leti hai.
Kubhi khayal aata hai - kiun us se koi baat nahi ki phir sochta hun agar ye waqiah aaj hota to main kiya kerta? Shayed wahi kerta jo tub kiya tha. Aadmi kese kisi se keh de ke talaq le le, woh bhi sirf aik khawab ki bunyad pe? Ashfaq Ahmad Ka kehna hai ke keh dene wali sharmindagi, us ahsase nadamat (guilt) se behtar hai jo saari zindagi saath rehti hai. Baqol Munir Niazi
madad kerni ho us ki, yaar ki dharas bandhana ho
bahut derena raston pe kisi se milne jaana ho
kisi ko maut se pehle, kisi gum se bachana ho
Hamesah der ker deta hun main , hur kaam kerne main
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
On people watching, perceptions, and reality
An immensely intelligent post from Aisha (with her permission). I loved her take at the end of post from this small observation in life.
"Suddenly we were startled by a loud screech. A young man in a pale blue Rolls Royce convertible pulled up to parallel park in front of us. Three cars could comfortable fit in the space he now struggled to park in. Twice he nearly slammed his car into the Volkswagen behind him. So the rich don't need to learn how to park? I thought. Two men, clearly homeless, approached the car. Loudly, jumping up down and waving their hands, they tried helping him back in. As he parked more men began surrounding his car. The sun was quickly setting and I grew alarmed. As I pressed my hand against my phone, one man with tattered khakis and a flannel shirt reached into the car. He pulled out a walker and placed it on the sidewalk; another opened the car door and a third helped him onto the curb. They promised to watch his car until he returned. The man smiled with a hint of sadness, and then with trembling legs, crossed the street."
Read full post here
"Suddenly we were startled by a loud screech. A young man in a pale blue Rolls Royce convertible pulled up to parallel park in front of us. Three cars could comfortable fit in the space he now struggled to park in. Twice he nearly slammed his car into the Volkswagen behind him. So the rich don't need to learn how to park? I thought. Two men, clearly homeless, approached the car. Loudly, jumping up down and waving their hands, they tried helping him back in. As he parked more men began surrounding his car. The sun was quickly setting and I grew alarmed. As I pressed my hand against my phone, one man with tattered khakis and a flannel shirt reached into the car. He pulled out a walker and placed it on the sidewalk; another opened the car door and a third helped him onto the curb. They promised to watch his car until he returned. The man smiled with a hint of sadness, and then with trembling legs, crossed the street."
Read full post here
Friday, July 04, 2008
Rebecca
Rebecca se meri shadi main mazhab sub se bari ruqawat bun gaya, kiunke woh yahudi (jew) thi. Rebecca mere saath 'transitional resident' thi. Usne aage opthalmology ki residency kerni thi. Rebecca yun to aik aam si american larki thi magar uski jo baat mujhe attract kerti thi, woh uski sach bolne ki taqat thi. Jese Jese hamari dosti barhti gai, main zindagi ki choti choti baton se le ker zindagi ke bare bare 'issues' per, uske 'brutal' sach ko sun ker hairan reh jata tha. Lijye main yahan aap ke liye, apni May 25, 1996 ki diary naqal kerta hun:
"Rebecca kese itni asani se sach bol leti hai? Agar mujhe saari zindagi ki riyazat ke baad bhi Rebecca ki tarah (thora sa) sach bolna aa jaye to main samjhun ga (ke) meri zindagi 'worth' hai"
Jub main pehli baar Pakistan gaya to Rebecca ne poocha mere liye Karachi se kiya laoge. Main ne kaha, 'tum batao'. Boli, 'koi aesi cheez jise pahen ke main Pakistani nazar aaun'. Main uske liye aik bohut hi khubsurat sa shalwar kameez le ker aaya. Apni graduation wale din, usne mujh se poocha, 'tum kiya pahno ge?', Main ne kaha: "shalwar kameez". Usne apni graduation pe mera laya huwa shalwar kameez pahen ker mujhe kiya, sub hi ko hairan ker diya. Rebecca ke waldain bohut ameer the. Kehne ko to woh residency ker rahi thi, magar Chicago ki Michigan lake ke 'most expensive' condomium main rehti thi. Uske ghar main intihayi aala paye ka furniture saliqe se laga tha aur deewaron pe us ki ma ki banaii huwi khubsurat paintings aawezan thi. Ye woh sham thi jub hum dono ne kai ghante saath beth ke batain ki ....
Uske baad ki chand mulaqaton main aik waqt aesa aaya jub hum shadi pe baat kerne lage. Ye baat bhi nikli ke bachhon ka kiya 'religion' hoga? Main ne mun se to koi jawab nahi diya magar chehre se saaf zahir tha ke - 'bachhe to musalman honge'. Agar main sach bol deta to shayed use bura nahi lagta magar meri bahane-baazi use bohut buri lagi. Us ne phir aik sach bola jo mujhe shayed hazam nahi huwa: "You are a nice muslim pakistani boy. But I don't think, you have guts to speak truth" !! Us din ke baad hum kubhi nahi mile...
Aur phir aik din Rebecca Chicago chor ker chali gai. Aik sham main ghar wapas aaya to mere roommate ne mujhe woh lifafa diya jo Rebecca jaate de gai thi. Lifafe main woh shalwar kameez aur dupatta tha jo amma karachi main anar-kali bazaar se le ker aai thin !!
Aaj bhi jub kubhi khud ko koi jhut bolte pata hun to Rebecca ka chehra saamne aa jata hai. 12 baras baad bhi mere dimag main yahi sawal utthta hai ke Rebecca kese itni asani se sach bol leti thi?
Rebecca yahudi thi magar mujh jese musalman se kai gunah behtar thi......
"Rebecca kese itni asani se sach bol leti hai? Agar mujhe saari zindagi ki riyazat ke baad bhi Rebecca ki tarah (thora sa) sach bolna aa jaye to main samjhun ga (ke) meri zindagi 'worth' hai"
Jub main pehli baar Pakistan gaya to Rebecca ne poocha mere liye Karachi se kiya laoge. Main ne kaha, 'tum batao'. Boli, 'koi aesi cheez jise pahen ke main Pakistani nazar aaun'. Main uske liye aik bohut hi khubsurat sa shalwar kameez le ker aaya. Apni graduation wale din, usne mujh se poocha, 'tum kiya pahno ge?', Main ne kaha: "shalwar kameez". Usne apni graduation pe mera laya huwa shalwar kameez pahen ker mujhe kiya, sub hi ko hairan ker diya. Rebecca ke waldain bohut ameer the. Kehne ko to woh residency ker rahi thi, magar Chicago ki Michigan lake ke 'most expensive' condomium main rehti thi. Uske ghar main intihayi aala paye ka furniture saliqe se laga tha aur deewaron pe us ki ma ki banaii huwi khubsurat paintings aawezan thi. Ye woh sham thi jub hum dono ne kai ghante saath beth ke batain ki ....
Uske baad ki chand mulaqaton main aik waqt aesa aaya jub hum shadi pe baat kerne lage. Ye baat bhi nikli ke bachhon ka kiya 'religion' hoga? Main ne mun se to koi jawab nahi diya magar chehre se saaf zahir tha ke - 'bachhe to musalman honge'. Agar main sach bol deta to shayed use bura nahi lagta magar meri bahane-baazi use bohut buri lagi. Us ne phir aik sach bola jo mujhe shayed hazam nahi huwa: "You are a nice muslim pakistani boy. But I don't think, you have guts to speak truth" !! Us din ke baad hum kubhi nahi mile...
Aur phir aik din Rebecca Chicago chor ker chali gai. Aik sham main ghar wapas aaya to mere roommate ne mujhe woh lifafa diya jo Rebecca jaate de gai thi. Lifafe main woh shalwar kameez aur dupatta tha jo amma karachi main anar-kali bazaar se le ker aai thin !!
Aaj bhi jub kubhi khud ko koi jhut bolte pata hun to Rebecca ka chehra saamne aa jata hai. 12 baras baad bhi mere dimag main yahi sawal utthta hai ke Rebecca kese itni asani se sach bol leti thi?
Rebecca yahudi thi magar mujh jese musalman se kai gunah behtar thi......
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Fortune Cookie
I never believed in Fortune Cookies but I have to admit that lately in many instances, I have found very appropriate messages inside cookies and sometime I even felt like finding an answer to my querry. Do you believe in fortune cookie?
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