Destiny

Amma aksar rawani main aik baat kehti hain - kitni sach hai:
"Aap aulad ko janam de sakte hain karam nahi"

(you can give birth to your kids but not destiny)

Ishq ka ghao

Tum kiya jano ishq ka ghao kiya hota hai.

Hamara kunba kattar ahle-tashee tha. Muharram ke mahine main ghar pe matam aur noha-khawani hona, bahir sabeel lagana, shame gareebaN ki majlis main jana aur taziye sajana - jub se aankh khuli yahi dekha tha.

Aur phir mujhe aik naujawan se mohabbat ho gai. Wahi meri zindagi ho gaya. Wahi mera orhna bichona ban gaya. Usi ke dam se har chiragaN tha. Use bhi shayed mujh se itni hi mohabbat thi. Pehle chup chup ke chitthi ke zariye ishq hua, phir mulaqataiN hone lagi. Ghar walon ko pata laga to pehle shamat aayi magar abba ne halat ki naazuki ko jana aur usse se kaha, hamare ghar rishta bhej de. Woh rishta le ker aaye, baat pakki ho gayi. Tayyariyan hone lagi, 'card' bat gaye. Main aroosi jore ke khawab bunne lagi. Main saatwaiN aasman pe thi. Duniya mere peroN tale thi. Lagta tha sab kuch mil gaya.

Shadi ko 7 roz baqi the ke meri hone wali saas ne mujhe ghar bulaya aur kaha: "Is ghar main bahu ban ke aana hai to - apna maslak chorna hoga, tumhe sunni banna pare ga". Meri aankoN tale andhera aa gaya. Larka bhi 'Summun Bukmun Umyun' ho gaya. Main ishq aur iman ke beech phans gai. Main ne Iman ko chun liya. Maslak chorne se inkar ker diya. Baat barh gai. Abba bhi bharak gaye. Shadi toot gayi. Woh gusse main America chala gaya.

Main aadhi pagal ho gayi. Soch soch ker mera blood pressure itna barha ke 'stroke' ho gaya. Socho 23 baras ki lurki ko 'stroke' ho jaaye. Us se bachi to saare baal sufed hona shuru ho gaye. Doctors ne test kiye to bataya koi 'auto-immune disease' hai. "Steroid" se itni moti ho gai ke ab khud ko aaine main dekhti hun to ghin aati hai. Ye baalon pe khizab laga hai. Ye jild ki mulayimat masnooyi hai (softness of skin is fake).......

Ab bhi poora din bank main kaam ker ke jub ghar aati hun aur thake haare aankh band ker ke takiye pe sir rakhti hun to lagta hai jese uske qadmoN ki aahat hui hai......Tum dekhna aik din isi 'insomnia' se mar jaaun gi..

Mere bhole doctor - Tum kiya jano ishq ka ghao kiya hota hai.

Aag

"Main ne to zindagi main kubhi tassawur bhi nahi kiya tha ke meri talaq hogi. Mera baap aik gareeb dukandar tha jiski gulberg main aik choti si parchoon ki dukan thi. Hum saat bahenain (seven sisters) thiN. Hame maaloom tha ke jahan bhi shaadi ho wahan kuch bhi ho jaaye nibah kerna pare ga. Jub gurbat itni ziyada ho to 'domestic violence' aur 'shohar ki berahravi' (infidelity) wagera jesi cheezain sab be-maani ho jaati hain.

Mere liye jab America ke lurke ka rishta aaya to Amma Abba ne kuch soche samjhe bagair biyah diya. Mera kiya tha - pehle hi zindagi kaunsi jahannam se kum thi....

Bachpun se mujhe aik khawab aata tha ke darya kinare mera aik makan hai - aur phir ghar ke peeche sabzazar (backyard) main aag lagti hai aur mere poore makan ko lapet main le leti hai. Main mushkil se jaan bachati hun. Main ne is khawab ko kubhi koi ahemiat nahi di....

Shaadi ker ke main florida aayi. Darya kinare khubsurat house tha. Phir aahista aahista shohar ki asliat zahir hona shuru hui. Aaye din maar khana, Us ka din raat drunk hona, Marital (a***) rape kerna, strip dancers ke saath uska dinon gaib ho jana - mere liye maamul ban gaya. Sab sehti rehi ke peeche amma abba aur baqi behenain pareshan hongi. Phir 2 betiyan ho gayi to unka khayal aata. Sochti chalo 'financial' aasudgi to hai...Bachhiyan achhi taalim to paa rahin hai.... Main samjh lungi ke kisi kothe pe tawaif bethi hun.

Magar us khawab ne peecha na chora.

Phir hamre peeche ke house main aik Pakistani family aa ker abad hui. Mere shohar ka unki aik lurki se chakkar chal gaya. Us pe mere shohar ne khub paise lutane shuru ker diye. Aur phir aik din usne mujhe talaq ka kagaz pakra diya.

Salam kerti hun is mulk ke nizam ko, jis ne mujhe mera haq dilwaya - aur itna kuch mila ke main aur betiyan mehfooz hain aur izzat se sufed-poshi ka bharam qaaim hai.

Socha na tha ke woh khawab sachha hoga. Shayed bohut kuch pehle se hamari qismat ki kitab main likh diya jaata hai. Woh aag aik aurat thi, jis ne darya kinare wala mera makan jala diya."

Baat Go Zara Si Hai

Amjad Islam Amjad ki aik khubsurat nazam

Zindagi Kay Melay MeiN
KhwahishooN Kay Railay MeiN
Tum Se Kiya KahaiN JanaaN
Es Qadar Jhamailay MeiN

Waqt Ki Ravaani Hai
Bakht Ki Girani Hai
Sakht Bay-Zameeni Hay
Sakht La-makani Hai

Hijr Kay Samandar MeiN
Takht Aur Takhtay Ki
Ek Hi Kahani Hai
Tum Ko Jo Sunani Hai

Baat Go Zara Si Hai
Baat Umr Bhar Ki Hai

Umr Bhar Ki BaataiN Kab
Do Ghari MeiN Hoti HeiN
Dard Kay Samandar MeiN
Un-Ginat Jazeeray HeiN
Bayshumaar Moti HeiN

Aankh Kay Jazeeray MeiN
Tum Ne Jo Sajaya Tha
Baat Us Diyay Ki Hai
Baat Us Gilay Ki Hai

Jo Lahoo Ki Khilvat MeiN
Chor Ban Kay Aata Hai
Lafz Ki FaseelooN Par
Toot Toot Jaata Hai

Zindagi Se Lambi Hai
Baat Takhliyay Ki Hai

Takhliyay Ki BaatoN MeiN
Guftagoo Izaafi Hai
Piyar Karnay WalooN Ko
Ek Nigah Hi Kafi Hai

Ho Sakay To Sun Ja'oo
Ek Din Akailay MeiN
Tum Se Kiya KahaiN JannaN
Es Qadar Jamailay MeiN!

Usre Yusra

I didn't blog much in last one week, as I was trying to overcome the shock of death of one of my very good friend. Imagine a friend, who you meet everyday - who is always smiling, helping and ready to give fair advise - who you talk to in the morning and in the evening you get news that he is shot dead during house robbery, leaving behind a 2 year old and a pregnant wife!

It took me sometime to overcome the grief. I tried to find solace in books, movies, internet and may-o-meena-o-ayag but without any help. I can't explain but what bring some relief to my heart were 2 small ayats from Quran. Actually, the same thing is said twice - telling me how important is this message of life:

F'inna-m'a'l-usre-yusra. Inna m'a'l-usre-yusra (94:5-6)
(So verily, with every difficulty, there is relief:
Verily, with every difficulty there is relief)

It took me back 16 years ago, when we all friends were going through little tough time trying to find residency spot in USA. One of my friend received news of having baby back home in Pakistan. He jumped with joy in Chicago's lincoln park and named his daughter Yusra. Indeed! he was smart and was able to connect the dots of this universal mystic web.

Allah hum sab ko asani de aur asani taqseem kerne ka sharf de (Ashfaq Ahmad)

Mr. Singh ki kahani

"Mr. Singh, the widower, grew up in a boisterous Indian household with 14 family members. In Fremont (california), he moved in with his son’s family and devoted himself to his grandchildren, picking them up from school and ferrying them to soccer practice. Then his son and daughter-in-law decided “they wanted their privacy,” said Mr. Singh, an undertone of sadness in his voice. He reluctantly concluded he should move out. So when he leaves the Hub, dead leaves swirling around its fake cobblestones, Mr. Singh drives to the rented room in a house he found on Craigslist. His could be a dorm room, except for the arthritis heat wraps packed neatly in plastic bins.

“In India there is a favorable bias toward the elders,” Mr. Singh said, sitting amid Hindu religious posters and a photograph of his late wife. “Here people think about what is convenient and inconvenient for them.”

Read full story here from NYtimes