7 uncles, liver failure and 'Mayyat ki izzat'

On Medicine, Cultural barriers and Ethics.

"My last uncle (mamu) died today. I had 7 uncles (Mamus). My first uncle died at age of 42 when I was 7 years old and than later one by one each died every 5 to 7 years in line. One of my uncle was computer engineer and he moved to USA years ago. He was diagnosed of liver failure when he died. Later in Pakistan 3 uncles died of same diagnosis. None were alcoholic and interestingly all workup turned negative on youngest uncle but he died today with same diagnosis. He complained of fever, headache and not feeling well for few days. Thats it! On his death I suggested taking his liver out and send to Pathology. If we get diagnosis we may save a whole lot of people in next generation. For me it was a no brainer but elders in family refused on the ground that "Bhai hum mayyat ki behurmati nahi kerwa sakte" .

Children of a lesser God

Life is not fair. This blog is about how life presents differently to different people. Following is taken from internet. Without comment.

" I am the oldest of five children by four different fathers. My mother emotionally and physically abused all of us, but I received special attention. She told me how worthless I was and how much she hated me. When I was 12, my mother put the two youngest children up for adoption. I was placed in foster care and have had little contact with the family. I'm now happily married and have a successful career and caring friends. Through much introspection and the assistance of a good therapist, I have been at peace for many years—until recently. The two siblings who were placed for adoption found me a few months ago through a social-networking Web site. It turns out they have been in constant communication with my mother for several years. Neither of them recalls their early life, and I am hesitant to talk about it. I haven't heard much from the brother, but the sister calls frequently. She desperately wants us to be one big happy family. I have repeatedly told her that can't happen. Conversations with her leave me depressed, and I've started avoiding her calls. Childhood memories have resurfaced. I find myself caught up in that "worthless loop," and then I feel guilty for not being able to let bygones be bygones. The siblings and I don't have anything in common besides blood. What do I owe them? How do I handle this?

—Not in the Family Way"

Source: here

3 Rules

I am lucky in the sense that I met many interesting people in life (or probably I have this psychological dyslexia of noticing them more). When we were in grade 6, we had a relatively young teacher. On first day he told his 3 rules in class......

Rule no. 1 - "I Rule"
Rule no. 2 - "When I speak, no one else speak"
Rule no. 3 - "When you speak, only you speak"

(Is class main sirf mera qanoon chale ga. Jub main bolunga to sirf main bolun ga magar jub aap bolain ge tub sirf aap bolain ge)

tazad!

Ye bhi aik ajeeb baat hai. Aik hi ghar main rehne wale do bachhe - aik hi school, aik hi ustad, aik hi waaldain, aik hi bhai bahen, aik hi mohalla, aik hi yaar dost, aik hi mahol - magar aik bachha bara ho ker Daheriya (atheist) ho jaata hai aur dusre ko mazhab ka heza ho jaata hai.

What kind of difference have I made!

One of my all time favorite movie: "About Schmidt". Following scene of Jack Nicholson has been regarded as one of his best work done. Indeed it is worth listening!




"Dear Ndugu,- you'll be glad to know that Jeannie's wedding came off without a hitch. Right now, she and Randall are on their way to sunny Orlando,- on my nickle, of course. As for me, I'm headed back to Omaha. I'm driving straight through this time, and I've made only one stop. The impressive new archer over the interstate in Corney, Nebraska. An arch that commemorates the courage and determination of - the pioneers who cross the state on their way west. You've really got to see it to believe it. And it... kind of got me thinking, - looking at all that history and, reflecting on the achievement - of people long ago kind of...put things into perspective. My trip to Denver, for instance is so insignificant compared to - the journeys that others have taken, - the bravery that they have shown, - the hardships they've endured. I know we are all pretty small in the big scheme of things. And I supposed the most you can hope for - is to make some kind of difference. What... what kind of difference have I made? What in the world is better because of me? When I was out in Denver, I tried to do the right thing,- tried to convince Jeannie, she was...making a big mistake but...I failed. Now she is married to that lincoln poop and there is nothing I can do about it. I am... weak. And I am a failure. There is just no getting around it. Relatively soon, I will die. Maybe in 20 years... maybe tomorrow...It doesn't matter. Once I am dead, and everyone who knew me dies too, a little - be as though I never even existed. What difference is my life made to anyone ? None that I can think of. None... at all. Hope things are fine with you. Yours truly... Warren Schmidt.

Master Ayub!

The ability to say No!

I took my son for Karate class. As they finished their class they all have free packets of juice. My son bypassed the table to exit. I ask him to get juice box. He said: "No!'. I insisted again: "Take it beta! its free". He again said: "No!". His karate teacher was standing there. He interjected: "Its good. He knows to say No!"

survivor

Fareed Khan se meri mulaqat Chicago main hui. Koi 3 baras meri Fareed Khan se salam dua rahi. Ajeeb hi rang ka aadmi tha.

Kubhi T shirt pahen ke Chicago ki sardi main nikal parta. Bus na aati to paidal hi meeloN chal leta. Gas station ki naukri chuti to 'cab' chalani shuru ker di. Kuch dinoN baad kisi posh restaurant main 'bartender' ho gaya. Jitni sharab pila do hawas gum nahi hota. Ji kerta to charas (weed) bhi pi leta. Magar saath hi kisi roz masjeed main imamat kerne wala na milta to ye bhi ker deta. Angrezi bolta to pata na lagta ke peshawar se aaya hai. Aap ne idhar challenge kiya aur dusre roz lurki uske saath coffee pi rahi hai.

Aik din kafi lurke saath jama ho gaye aur raat sone ki jagah na mili to kitchen ke farsh pe aaram se so gaya. Aik din shor macha diya ke 'Ab sab bahir niklo bhook lagi hai'. Hum McDonald se drive thru le ker nikle to apna bag homeless ko thama diya aur phir poore din shikayat na ki ke bhook lagi hai.....Hum se aksar kehta: Is bhook, piyas, sardi, garmi, bimari wagera pe ziyada dhiyan nahi dena chahiye zindagi ka maza kharab ho jaata hai!

Zindagi main yahi hasrat rahi ke kisi roz phir mulaqat ho to us se poochun ke Zindagi main aese kis kare waqt se guzra - ke ab use koi mushkil - mushkil nahi lagti - bulke use zindagi aik khel lagti thi. Baqol Ghalib

Ranj se khugar hua insaN to mit jata hai ranj
mushkileiN mujh par pari itni ke asaN ho gain

Security

I gave a bedtime story to my daughter of pretty princess taken away by evil and dragons to 'Koh-Qaff' and rescued by a good hearted magician. I thought she is sleeping. But after 30 minutes I saw her eyes wide open and she is starring at wall. Here is the conversation:

"Gurya! you didn't sleep?"
"Can I ask you something"
"Sure, anything for my princess"
"Am I pretty?"
"Of course! you are the most pretty girl"
"So I will be taken away by evil and dragons?"
"Hmmmm. Even if evil and dragons come to get you, Daddy will always be there to protect you..."
"Promise?"
"Pakka promise. 100%"

There was a sense of relief on her face and I found her sleeping in 2 minutes.....