Wednesday, April 13, 2011

On raising a handicap child!

(God give special kids only to special people)

"Pehloti ki aulad wese hi Ma ko bohat piyari hoti hai. Jub meri pehli beti paida hui to bus woh meri zindagi ho gai. 3 baras ki na hui ke main ne school main daal diya ke parha likha ke tum jesa doctor banun gi! - magar school wale kehte - bachhi dimagi tor pe kamzor hai. Main ne 6 baras main 6 school badle....lekin aakhir tasleem kerna para ke meri bachhi 'mentally challanged' hai. Is aehsas main takleef  bhi thi, be-yaqeeni ki keffiat bhi thi aur guusa bhi tha. Har raat khuda se poochti: 'Main kiyun?' Aur har din meri jinjhalat ka saara baar us bachhi pe girta..... Woh mehmanoN ke saamne khana gira de to sharmindagi mujeh hoti. Woh mehfil main koi na-zeba harkat ker jaaye to mera paara charh jaata..... aur phir jub woh apna sir meri god main rakh ke - apni totli zaban main kehti: 'torry (sorry) mamma' - to khud akele main beth ke khub roti - aur Allah se shikwa kerti: 'Main kiun?' .

Jin waaldain ke bachhe 'handicap' hote hain wahi jaante hain aulad ka dukh.

Main kahan kahan na phiri. Meri 'correspondence ki file' dekh ker America walon ne bhi visa de diya. Main ne America main 12 12 ghante odd jobs ki aur bachhi ki har 'special needs' ki 'therapy' kerwai magar meri apni treatment kaun kerta!

Ye 2004 ki baat hai main Pakistan gai. Jis sawal ka jawab mujeh Boston, LA aur Houston ke bare bare MD, Ph.D na de paaye woh 'ghotki, sindh' ki aik choti si dargah pe aik be-naam baba se mil gaya. Hum to picnic manane gaye the. Wapsi pe yunhi ruk gaye. Huwa kuch yun ke usne wahan bhook piyas se aesa rona shuru kiya ke dua maangne wallon ne ghooom ghoom ke dekhna shuru ker diya. Main jhinjhala gai aur use thappar raseed ker diya ke badbakht kahin theek nahi chalti. Baba ne mera haat pakar ke kaha: : 'O munjhi deeh! (O meri beti) - Sab se ooper wale aasmaan ke maalik ne zameen pe tujeh is ka waali banaya hai. O pagal! apni khushnaseebi ko samjah. Gussa na ker aur bus is baat ko maan le ke rab ne mushkil kaam ke liye tujeh chun liya. Is ke liye paani le aa phir dekh ooper wala tere liye kese baarish barsata hai'  - 'Acceptance' ka jo daras baba se mila main ne baandh liya. Meri bacchi ko main ne sirf piyar dena shuru kiya. Main ne 'embarrass' hona chor diya. Har jagah ab woh mere saath phirti. Meri zindagi yun badli ke bayan nahi ker sakti. Rehmat ki aesi baarish barsi ke meri beti normal to na hui magar us ke chehre ki saari khushian yun jagmagane lagi ke ab mujeh uske bagair aik minute chain nahi aata...She became my best friend"

'Handicap' bachhe ko paalne ka bus yahi gur hai - maan lo, aankhain band karo, gussa pi jao aur bus piyar karo. Itni choti si baat samjhne main barsoN lag gaye.

'Handicap' aulad se wabastagi ka ye piyar dusri aulad se itna mukhtalif hai ke lafzon main bayan nahi ho sakta - jo mehsoos hota hai woh wahi waldain jaante hain - jin ke dil is piyar ke noor se jagmate hain.....................

Choro mere giyani doctor - tum apna 'cheesecake' khao aur meri baaton main sir na khapao!!..."


4 comments:

Rida said...

beautiful post...

bsc said...

Yes beautiful post.
I have more than one experiences in this regard as my own youngest sister was mentally challenged and have seen other examples that I refrain from telling but enough to say that the love for such children is different and is more evidently observed. The other thing, such children respond with their love back which is sweeter than anything. Physicians are aware of some of that love in the trisomy 21 children. O! I have so much I can write. My eyes were wet by the time I was in the middle of reading

mystic said...

Thanks Rida!

Dear Uncle - its just so different and personally I feel I am not capable of dealing such emotional trial and always admire such people who give their love fully to thier handicup child!

Anonymous said...

As they say: "God give special kids only to special people"