Loneliness....

(The day when Theodore Roosevelt's wife died, he wrote in his diary that: "The light has gone out of my life.")


Aisha Iqbal was the first blogger I read and since than she remained my favorite blogger, for almost 7 years now!  Another classic post from her...

"................I lived in Peachree Battle until my wife died, he suddenly looked astonished his eyes seeming to no longer see us, she died fifteen years ago. My, has it been that long? How could that much time have passed?He shook his head and paused again before clearing his throat and looking at us, the smile back in his eyes as he told us the benefits of the community and the distance to local shops. We watched him as he walked away. ...................that one flash moment which lasted a scarce few seconds when I looked into his eyes and saw a blinding flash of pain and loss and loneliness and then-- a smile.  It's about the full realization yet again of how many of us live each day with so much pain buried just beneath the surface and how despite soul crushing tragedies we get out of bed, we brush our teeth, we put on a face to greet the world. The ability to love, grieve, and to live in spite of it is the part of our humanity that leaves me most speechless."


Read full post here: Just beneath the surface! 

Suzanne aur Sureh Naas!

Ye in dino ki baat hai jub main Chicago main tha. Mere hi floor pe aik larki Suzanne raha kerti thi. Uski umar koi 27/28 baras rahi hogi. Meri bhi yahi umar thi. Gore rang ka taqaza tha! is liye meri usse dosti zaroori thi! Suzanne khud ko 'born again christian' kehti thi. Mujeh is baat se koi garaz nahi thi ke woh kiya kehti hai - Mera to sirf aik hi maqsad tha ke: "Ven a mi cama!" 


Chicago ki aik barfani raat thi. Suzanne mere apartment main thi. Woh mujh se koi kitab lene aayi thi aur phir hum batain kerne lage. Main ne aahista aahista us se 'intimate' hone ki koshish shuru ki! Suzanne ko mere iradoN ka pata tha aur kai baar woh mujeh dabe lafzon main manah ker chuki thi, magar main bhi iradoN ka pakka tha! 


Mera apartment kiya tha bus aik studio tha. Hum bed pe bethe the. Room ki light off thi. Kitchen ki light ki halki si roshni thi. Khirki se khubsurat 'snow' chandni main damak rahi thi. Shayed romanvi mahol ka asar tha ke Suzanne kuch kuch bahekne lagi. Us ne mujh se kaha: "I think, its time to say Sureh Naas!" 


Suzanne ki zaban se 'Sureh Naaas' ke alfaz sun ker mujeh jese 'electric shock' laga. Main ne us se poocha: "How you know about Sureh Naas?" Woh zor zor se hasne lagi. Usne mujhe bataya ke jab us ne University of Chicago main research shuru ki to us ka pehla preceptor muslman tha! aur us ne kaha tha ke jab koi tumhe behkaye to Sureh Naas ka ye angrezi tarjumah dil main parh lo..... 


Magar main kahaN rukne wala tha. Suzanne ne Sureh Naas ka dil main wird kiya ya nahi magar woh ab poori tarah bahek chuki thi aur woh meri bahoN main mom ho chuki thi. 


Magar is se pehle ke main kuch shuru kerne ki koshish kerta, darwaze pe ahat si hui! Meri aik rishte ki khala Chicago main rehti thiN. Amma ki hidayat ke mutabiq unke paas mere apartment ki duplicate key rehti thi ke woh aa ker safaii ker detiN, khana paka jaatiN. Us din woh bagair bataye tapak pari, ya phir shayed main ne knock ka jawab nahi diya to woh andar aa gain. Saath unke bachhe bhi the. Suzanne ko dekh ker unho ne kuch kaha to nahi magar sab surate-haal bhaanp gaye. ......Suzanne chali gai..... 


Dusre din Suzanne mujhe elevator main mili to kehne lagi: "I guess Sureh naas perfectly works"! - 
Kambakht maari mujh se ziyada muslman nikli!!

On Hunting!

 Faiz sahab (Faiz Ahmad Faiz)  se meri zindagi main aik hi baar mulaqat hui. Meri umar bohat choti thi is liye unki ziyada tar batain mere faham se bala'tar thiN - magar unka sunaya huwa aik waqiya yaad reh gaya.....Baat khane se shuru hui. Kisi ne kaha ye shikar kiya huwa gosht hai. Faiz sahab 'sensitive' aadmi the. Shayed har achha aadmi hota hai.  Faiz sahab kehne lage:


"Jawani main insaan ajeeb tarang main hota hai. Hum apne shikari kuttoN ke saath khargosh ka shikar kerne gaye. Hamare kutte 2 khargosh pakar laye. Aik Khargosh ko zibah kiya to pata laga woh hamila (pregnant) hai aur andar 2 bachhe the.....saari zindagi ye aehsase-khauf raha ke 2 bachhoN ki ma ko zibah ker dala..........insan kabhi nahi chahta - magar phir bhi kisi ko dukh pauncha hi deta hai"!


Pata nahi kiun itne barsoN baad ye baat yaad aai to socha likhta chalun....

One strange phone call

I received a very strange phone call from only daughter of one of my very good old friend. She is 21. To give a little perspective - my friend and her family are very conservative in terms of religious practices. But despite my liberal and mostly outrageous views, we get along well.

Daughter has received a 'rishta' from a Muslim boy. 'Larka' is a lawyer and frequently deals with family and criminal cases. Girl's father is refusing rishta on the ground that - he may be carrying a lot of burden of bud-dua from people and eventually it will either corrupt or harm his daughter.

Being an obedient daughter, she doesn't want to go against father's wishes but she likes boy too!

I haven't decided yet what to do!!

Battle of Uhad!

March 19 would always be a black day in Muslim history.

March 19, 625 AD was the day when Battle of Uhud was fought. Muslims were attacked by Meccans. Muslims gained in fight and Meccans start running away leaving behind their maal-o-mataa. Key Muslim fighters at mount Uhud went against Muhammad's order and left their posts to loot the booty! - and no wonder they lost.

We Muslims are corrupt from the days of our infancy. Jo qaum apne saamne khare rasool ka lihaz na ker saki - us se aur kiya umeed ki jaa sakti hai!

Love, InshAllah

 It took me a month to finish 25 true stories of Muslim women who spoke about their romantic and sexual side. It was not only an interesting read but an important one. Being a man of Muslim immigrant heritage who is raising a daughter, it was simultaneously heartwarming as well as disturbing to learn about the passion as well as pressure on Muslim women in western society. These stories range from traditional matchmaking at one extreme to graphic detail of a lovemaking act to an other extreme! It talk about rape, coming out of lesbian closet, infatuation, heartbreaks, polygamy and as well as it talk about marriage proposals for Green Card. It also talk about Istikhara, prayers and divine intervention via dreams. It talk about inter-racial marriages, 3 marriages, successful marriage with a man carrying 5 kids from previous, and about gori getting married to a brown boy! Also, it talk about racism against 'blacks' from their own religious community. It describes a girl attached to a Muslim rock band and punks!

Some stories are just cute (can't find better word than this) like of both Ayeshas, Leena, Nura, Nour Gamal and Huda. Zahra Noorbakhsh's take was extremely funny (I got the Hole). Yasmin Khan talk about blog, chat and facebook. Story of going back to first love from Safiyyah is very interesting. Leila Khan story will break your heart as like wait of Chinyere Obimba!

Men in stories will equally leave mark on you like Javed (loved him), Matthew, Marcelo, Mika'l, Mike and Mohamed of Egypt.

Stories are divided into 5 sections. 1) Allah Alim: its about girls meeting their first love 2) Alif: it mostly talk about their first sexual encounter 3) International Habibti: It talks about affair overseas 4) Third Time's the Naseeb: It talked about relationship after 2 previous failed marriages 5) Ayat: Relationship via cyber world.

Bad-Dua!

 Aik din Khala Sultana kehne lagi: "Mere bachhe! Aik dar (fear) aesa hai, jo Allah ke dar se bhi barh ker hai"


Main ne kaha: "Ye ajeeb baat kahi khala! bhala Allah se darne se ziyada kiya cheez hogi is saari duniya main?"


Khala ne jawab diya: "Dekho mere laal! Allah to phir bhi muaaf ker deta hai. Bara man-chala hai! Jabbar hai to Gaffar bhi hai. Magar, insaan ke peeche kisi ki 'bad-dua' lag jaaye na! - to us ko kahin ka nahi rehne deti. Barbaad ker ke dum leti hai. Is kaale jadoo ka koi toR nahi mere bachhe!"