Dr. Garcia

Dr. Garcia was a trauma surgeon in the hospital where I did my residency/fellowship. I had few professional interactions with him while in training, but I often saw him smoking a cigarette outside the trauma ER while awaiting trauma to arrive. He sat down with his tray in the cafeteria with us a few times, and it was apparent he loved hot dogs and all junk food. He was known for his aggressive style, high clinical acumen-ship, sense of humor, and above all, his handsome personality. He was tall, fully bearded, and well built. Three years passed by, I finished my training and moved on with my life.

Five years later, I had to go back to my hospital to get some papers done. From the parking lot, I had to take a walkway bypassing rehab. and long-term nursing facility. I was shocked to see Dr. Garcia sitting in a wheelchair watching traffic from a glass of walkway. He was completely disheveled. His hair was all gray. He had lost half of his weight, and apparently, most muscle mass was gone. His face and eyes were drooped to one side, telling me he had a significant stroke.

As I finished my work, I met Pradeep, who was from Bombay, was my junior resident and now was a senior fellow. I asked Pradeep: "Ye Dr. Gracia ko kiya huwa?"

Pradeep in his classic Bombay style, told me: "Mar gaya tha sala, ER ke bahir collapse ho gaya. Aadha ghanta CPR chala. 'hypothermia protocol' se bach to gaya magar stroke ho gaya hai. Kesa handsome hero aadmi tha, aik dum finish ho gaya yaar".

"Bad habits?"

"Are bad habits to bahana hai.....Biwi se bohat piyar kerta tha. 20 saal se married tha. Piyar biwi se kerta tha aur poora din rehta hospital main tha....ER ke bahir khara tha jab divorce ke papers mile. Wahin collapse ho gaya. .... Meri aik baar is ke saath rotation thi, to mere ko bolta tha..'Biwi achhi honi chayye. Biwi achhi ho, piyar kerne wali ho to aadmi saari dunya se lar sakta hai'....... Sale ki battery biwi main thi, aur biwi bhag gayi.."

I didn't know what to say to Pradeep. I cut short my trip and took my rent-a-car to Ohare to fly back home!

Chorna (leaving)

Kisi bhi rishte main is se ziyada taklif deh baat aur koi nahi hoti jab baar baar  aap kisi se ye kehte hain ke: 
"Main tumhe chor ke chala jaunga ya chali jaungi"

(Jana hai to chale jao, roz roz kisi ko yun 'mental torture' to na do)

On "quick aging"

(1)

"WOW! Is that you? You look so pretty! How old is that pic?"
"About 2 years"
"So what happened in just 2 years?"
"This what happens when your husband stop yielding (paying attention) at you".
_________________________________________________

(2)

"So what happened to your father, he looks so old. I just saw him a year ago and he looked so young."
"Since my brother and his only son died, my father aged very quickly"!

Podey (Plants)

Kiya ye sach hai ke - jab gharoN main rishte murda ho jaayeN to gharoN ke podey bhi murjha jaate hain?

A rare gem of Urdu literature

Following verse of Urdu is from a Gora poet know as Isfaan - which may have come from Stephen or Stevens. His Parents were English but he was born in Dilli and lived all his life there. He was described as french by Ram Babu Saksena in his book  'A History of Urdu Literature' (here). What is intriguing is that he lived in 18th century and died in 1802. It is hard to comprehend that a gora in that period having such closeness with budding language of Urdu. There is no formal collection of his work but this sher is described.

     خط کا یہ جواب آیا کہ لکھا جو کبھی پھر خط

     کر ڈالوں گا اک  دم میں تیری آن کے پرزے

                             اسفان                

On Sherlock Holmes, Women and Ibne Safi

While growing and have been addicted to books (call me nerd), no other author shaped my personality more than Ibne Safi. Over period of my lifetime, I bought and simultaneously lost hundreds of books. But, still in my library I have full (and I mean full) collection of Ibne Safi. Layman Pakistanis may remember Ibne Safi only as a mystery writer, but his vivid readers know him as a man of deep thought who sprinkles intricacies of life in simple words - sentence after sentence. To them, story and plot were just a veil to his unique perception to life.

So, my son asked me - what he should read beside his school books. I advised him to start his readings from Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes, knowing he can't read Urdu. Let me give you a glimpse of his writing. In one case, Sherlock Holmes get beaten by a woman. As she gives wild goose chase to him and finally get away deceiving him, she wrote to Sherlock Holmes: ".......your client may rest in peace. I love and am loved by a better man than he....." And, at end Arthur Conan Doyle adds: "...and (that's) how the best plans of Mr. Sherlock Holmes were beaten by a woman's wit. He used to make merry over the cleverness of women, but I have not heard him do it of late. And when he speaks of Irene Adler, or when he refers to her photograph, it is always under the honorable title of the woman."

On "MuR ke Dekhna"

"Aaj bare udas lag rahe ho?"

"Yaar us ne jaate jaate muR ke dekha tak nahi"

"Aesa is liye bhi to ho sakta hai ke - usey tum se dubara milne ka bohat hi yaqeen ho".

Devil's Advocate

It was a one snowy night of 1999. I had to take refuge in a small motel of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. I had a chance to have a one-night-stand with one gorgeous woman. I passed it. Same night, while lying in bed, flipping TV channels- I saw this movie. I am not sure - was it just a co-incidence or a teaching for me? It was a milestone moment for my inner growth as a human.

Devil's advocate is one of the finest movie, made to portray the inner fight of good and evil inside any human. Following clip is one of the best argument portrayed from evil. Al Pacino at his best in this "morality thriller" - A must watch

"I only just set the stage, you pull your own string"

Link: http://youtu.be/7DMDscGOUpg

Quotes of Friedrich Nietzsche

“When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory.”

“I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you” 

 “There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.” 

"The most common lie is that which one lies to himself; lying to others is relatively an exception."

"We love life, not because we are used to living but because we are used to loving."

"It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages."

"Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent."

 "The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently."

 "The best weapon against an enemy is another enemy."

 "The demand to be loved is the greatest of all arrogant presumptions."

"Fear is the mother of morality."

"It is the most sensual men who need to flee women and torment their bodies."

Life!

Nothing major! Just cycling of life. I had a barrage of bad news in the last few days, one after another. It reminded me of an old sentence of my one friend:

"Life is like a group sex where whoever gets chance f*** the other person."

After a long time, I can't stop saying this verse of Faiz

Halqa kiye bethe raho is shamaa ko yaaro!

Kuch roshni baqi to hai, har chand  ke kum hai

One news was the killing of my friend Dr. Raza Haider (pic below) in Karachi here. 2 weeks earlier one of my seniors Dr. Shaukat Nayani was killed here. Another very close friend get diagnosed with lymphoma....and .... the most unusual.... was a suicide attempt by one of my friends whom I always admired for his courage. There were other few bad events that can't be shared on the blog.

Bulke shayed  -  Gul karo shamaiN, barha do mai-o-meena-ayyagh

Akmal's anger

"Dekho Akmal, mere dostoN ki aik lambi qatar hai - magar jitni takleef mujeh tumhe dekh ke hoti hai, kisi aur ko dekh ke nahi hoti. Tum aik achhe aur sachhe insaan ho, parhe likhe ho, professor level ke aadmi ho - magar zindagi se tum itne naraz ho! itne angry ho! kiya wajah hai?"

"I was not like that. I was born into a very loving family in Pakistan. I moved to the USA after finishing my master's in Pakistan. I have six very loving siblings in Pakistan. I worked hard in this country. I did Ph.D. I joined an academic institution. I start earning good money. I built a dream house. I always loved gardening. I put the best plants in my garden area. First time in my life, I drove a car. I start paying off my student loans. I brought my parents to the USA. I was a pleased man - an American success story. Then I got married. It was an arranged marriage within the community here. But I got married to the wrong person. She was a perpetual cheater. I caught her red-handed in my bedroom not once but three times. We divorced when my son was two years old. I lost my house and most of my savings. And that was OK. I accepted it as a part of life. But then things start moving south. I lost my job. I had to move to the east coast for a job that pays half of the previous one but many extra hours. My ex saw this as an opportunity. I lost joint custody. I was given only 2 Sundays a month to see my kid. I was sued again in court by her. My child support and alimony went through the roof. She found a younger gora boyfriend and made him move into that house. She destroyed my garden and built a gym area for her boyfriend in the backyard. Every time I go there, I barely get allowed to see my child for a few hours as she tries to keep the child away from me as much as she can. I don't have money to return to court and hire an attorney. I lost my father as he died of stress. My mother became a great support. She started catering from home to keep the household running, as it costs a lot of money to fly coast to coast and rent a car and hotel every other weekend. But nothing hurts me more than this: my son has been taught to call that gora boyfriend daddy, and I have been given the name purane abbu! I barely have $50 in my account. I can't even find another woman to marry because I neither have time nor money. Yes, I am angry because I feel the system is not fair, and despite hard work and sincerity, I am at the receiving end. It hurts a lot, yaar. I die every second inside without my son."

(silence on both side for a long moment)

"Akmal, I am not gonna say to you - what I usually say to everyone: Life is a bitch. Stop complaining. Suck it up. Get up and move on - but - yahi keh sakta hun ke -  agar ye sab sach hai, to khuda kare - kahin koi hisab zaroor hota ho."