Chandu ki Cycle

(Udan was a one low budget Indian art movie, said to be based on a true story of Bollywood fame Anurag Kashyap, with theme of an abusive father and on child abuse at home. Movie didn't do well at box office but ran away with many awards and was screened at 2010 Cannes Film Festival. There was a poem in the movie which floated around for a while, and now 'Chandu ki cycle' is a well known slang in India).


chandu ki cycle bilkul chandu jaisi thi, 
chalti thi to chandu jaise chun chun karti rahti thi,

handle uska chandu ke hatho jaisa hi halka tha,
paidal uske chandu ke pairo jaise hi patle the
seat uski chandu ke pichwade jaisi chawdi thi, 
carrier uska chandu ke carrier jaisa hi chhota tha,

par chandu ki dost vahi thi, vahi uske saath rahti thi,
chandu ke bhari vazan ko bahut hi asani se sahati thi ,
lekin aisa din aaya jab cycle uski toot gai,
aata dekh saand aage se - chandu se vo chhoot gai ,

theek nahi kar paya jab monti mechanic bhi usko,
chandu ke daddy ne use bech diya kabaadi ko,
chandu sab kuchh bhool kitabo mein doob gya aise ,
jaise kisi purani khwaish ko sachcha karna tha use,

phir jab chandu bada hua, to apani first kamai se nai cycle lekar aaya,
apni nai mili chaturai se ,
lekin....nai cycle bhi bilkul chandu jaisi thi ,
kitini bhi koshish kar lo chun chun karti rahti thi,

seat uski chandu ke pichwade jaisi chawdi thi, 
carrier uska chandu ke carrier jaisa hi chhota tha.


Movie link: http://youtu.be/6Tc7m8RZHcY

Shyam Benegal's "Well Done Abba"

Shyam Benegal is well known to cinema fans as a serious movie maker. In last 50 years, despite rising glamor, sex and commercialization - he was able to continue to use Cinema as an effective tool for brutal criticism on society. (Remember Ankur, Nishant, Bhumika, Mandi?)

His movie "Well Done Abba" (2009) was on my list to watch for 3 years, and finally I watched it - and thoroughly enjoyed it. It is a political satire with commentary on our system's chain of corruption at everyday level. Comedy and dialogues are so well proportioned that movie does not go loud, vulgar or boring at any stage. Boman Irani has handled whole movie so well in Hyderabadi accent that I continue to smile for 2 hours. Even songs are paced, with good poetry and sensible situation.

{Movie was created with combination of 3 short literary stories: Narsaiyyan Ki Bavdi (Jeelani Bano), Phulwa Ka Pul (Sanjeev) and Still Waters (Jayant Kripalani). It won the 2009 National Film Award for Best Film on Social Issues.}

It is available on youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jeZRNt7iXes

"The Forty Rules of Love"

I was recommended "The Forty Rules of Love" by Elif Shafak few months ago as a mystical novel. Novel has made good waves, positive reviews and has been on best seller lists. Personally, I was not very impressed with novel's content as it may be a novelty for western audience but most of the mystic/sufi stories/lessons/hikayaat are well known to any student raised in eastern, specially Islamic society. For me it was more of a romantic novel (lonely housewife falling in love over internet - yawn - )!

Said that, I have to acknowledge that novel was crafted very skillfully and blended beautifully with famous story of Shams and Rumi. It was a delight despite all its fault and speaks of maturity of author as a novel writer. Characters of Ella and Aziz are very human - and the way Rumi and Shams were erected in novel, was commendable. I felt like roaming on the streets of Konya in 13th century!

Central core and theme of novel is human love and as an extension, divine love. It reminded me a lesson of sufism, I heard years ago: "Ishqe Haqiqi main kaamyabi ki kaleed Ishqe Majazi main na-kaami ka bunyadi tajarba hai". Or in simple words: "Road to divine love goes through agony of human love".

On Resilience of Human Soul

Charles Dickens on resilience of human soul, and his sarcasm on human care at birth of Oliver Twist

"The fact is, that there was considerable difficulty in inducing Oliver to take upon himself the office of respiration, -- a troublesome practice, but one which custom has rendered necessary to our easy existence; and for some time he lay gasping on a little flock mattress, rather unequally poised between this world and the next: the balance being decidedly in favour of the latter. Now, if, during this brief period, Oliver had been surrounded by careful grandmothers, anxious aunts, experienced nurses, and doctors of profound wisdom, he would most inevitably and indubitably have been killed in no time."

On "End of Life Comfort"

Dr. K works as a consultant for Palliative care in our hospital. Once he told me that he used to be a private GP in community but one day he decided to switch and became an end of life or palliative care physician. I asked him what makes him to switch his sub-speciality. He said: "Being a GP, I was a horrible clinician. I used to make many misdiagnoses. In outpatient setting, it was not a big deal but I had to go through guilt trip every time I misread a clinical sign. One day, it dawned to me that if I cannot provide a good comfort to people who are alive and active, at least I can be a good provider to make people at deathbed to die with dignity and comfort. Dignity and comfort at death is something which is often missing in today's medicine. And, I am happy I made a right choice".

Inna lillahi wa inna ilahi rajeun

(I heard this many centuries ago, but recently get reminded on the death of a loved one. Its not necesaary to agree on this but I always found fascination and element of thought in this statement).

"Tum jaante ho Islam is qadar 'addictive' mazhab kiun hai? Kiunke - Maut ka bara khauf hota hai. Har mazhab isi khauf ka ilaj chahta hai - magar saare mazahib main sirf Islam hi tha - jo kisi bhi maut pe 'closure' ki aik aesi kefiiat paida ker deta hai - ke uske manne wale khud ko apne parwadegar ke asal main wasil samjhne lagte hain - Aik 'Monorealism' ki si kaifiat".

(Personally, I believe these 2 ayats should be read in conjunction with each other (2:155 and 2:156 - but I guess that's another topic)

Na-shukri

Jab meri shadi hui to mujeh bara shoq tha ke foran se bachhe ho jaain, magar mere shohar ne kaha: "abhi hamare ye halat nahi ke diaper ke karch bardasht ker sakain, aur agar kambakht ne breast-feeding main tang kiya to dabbe ke doodh ka kharch alag". ...Ye baat mere dil pe aese teer ki tarah lagi, ke main ne zikar hi chor diya.

Saat baras baad mere shohar ne faisla kiya ke ab aulad ki koshish kerni chahiye - magar aaj 28 baras guzarne ke baad bhi hum la-aulad hain.

Magar mere shohar ki na-shukri ka bojh main kiun utha rahi hun?

On "wife's cheating"

"Bhai! BarsoN ho gaye apne aap se ye jang larte. 15 saal purani baat hai, magar us raat ki har baat mujeh yaad hai. Saare shawahid (situations) is baat ki gawahii dete the ke meri biwi us raat kisi gair-mard ke saath thi, magar chunke main ne apni aankhoN se nahi dekha tha to main ne us ke 'excuse ko accept' ker liya. Itne barsoN main ye faisla nahi ker paya ke main kamzor tha ya apne kirdar ki parvarish ker raha tha! Magar bhai! Aese kirdar aur sachhaii ka koi kiya kare jo aadmi ko andar hi andar har roz apne na-mard hone ka aehsas dilati rahe".

Sach aur Wafa

(Written as heard. Not necessary to agree)

"Mard saari zindagi sachhaii ka chasma dhundhta rehta hai aur Aurat wafa ke darya se piyas bujhane ki sa'ii kerti rehti hai. Us bhaRwe ko pata hi nahi chalta ke aurat sach ke bagair to jii sakti hai magar wafa ke bagair kumla jaati hai".

Acknowledgement aur Yajooj Majooj ki Deewar

"Tum jaante ho aurat mard ko chor ker apne mayike kiun chali jaati hai?"
"Tum batao"

"Woh acknowledgement chahti hai. Apne wajood ki tasdeeq chahti hai. Woh apna muafza (price) aese hi wasool kerti hai. Attention hi uski meeras hai. Aik dafa uska shohar use lene aa jaye to kachhe dhage se bandhi chali aati hai. Magar aksar is khel main, rishte toot jaate hain. Aurat jaan hi nahi paati ke mard ki anaa'  yajooj majooj ki woh deewar hai, jeese saari umar chaatte raho magar woh har subah usi shaan se phir khari ho jaati hai".

A Quote

“Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers”.  – Voltaire

A Daughter's letter to Dad on Pornography

(I am not sure, if this letter is just crafted or real - I received  in a forwaded mail and found worth sharing)

Dear Dad,

I want to let you know first of all that I love you and forgive you for what this has done in my life. I also wanted to let you know exactly what your porn use has done to my life. You may think that this effects only you, or even your and mom’s relationships. But it has had a profound impact on me and all of my siblings as well.

I found your porn on the computer somewhere around the age of 12 or so, just when I was starting to become a young woman. First of all, it seemed very hypocritical to me that you were trying to teach me the value of what to let into my mind in terms of movies, yet here you were entertaining your mind with this junk on a regular basis. Your talks to me about being careful with what I watched meant virtually nothing.

Because of pornography, I was aware that mom was not the only woman you were looking at. I became acutely aware of your wandering eye when we were out and about. This taught me that all men have a wandering eye and can’t be trusted. I learned to distrust and even dislike men for the way they perceived women in this way.

As far as modesty goes, you tried to talk with me about how my dress affects those around me and how I should value myself for what I am on the inside. Your actions however told me that I would only ever truly be beautiful and accepted if I looked like the women on magazine covers or in porn. Your talks with me meant nothing and in fact, just made me angry.

As I grew older, I only had this message reinforced by the culture we live in. That beauty is something that can only be achieved if you look like “them”. I also learned to trust you less and less as what you told me didn’t line up with what you did. I wondered more and more if I would ever find a man who would accept me and love me for me and not just a pretty face.

When I had friends over, I wondered how you perceived them. Did you see them as my friends, or did you see them as a pretty face in one of your fantasies? No girl should ever have to wonder that about the man who is supposed to be protecting her and other women in her life.

I did meet a man. One of the first things I asked him about was his struggle with pornography. I’m thankful to God that it is something that hasn’t had a grip on his life. We still have had struggles because of the deep-rooted distrust in my heart for men. Yes, your porn watching has affected my relationship with my husband years later.

If I could tell you one thing, it would be this: Porn didn’t just affect your life; it affected everyone around you in ways I don’t think you can ever realize. It still affects me to this day as I realize the hold that it has on our society. I dread the day when I have to talk with my sweet little boy about pornography and its far-reaching greedy hands. When I tell him about how pornography, like most sins, affects far more than just us.

Like, I said, I have forgiven you. I am so thankful for the work that God has done in my life in this area. It is an area that I still struggle with from time to time, but I am thankful for God’s grace and also my husband’s. I do pray that you are past this and that the many men who struggle with this will have their eyes opened.

Love, Your Daughter

Story of a Kite

Father is flying a kite. His son is watching him carefully. After some time son says " Dad. Because of the string the kite is not able to go any further higher. ‎" Hearing this, the father smiles and breaks the string. 

The kite goes higher after breaking of the thread and then shortly after that it comes and falls on the ground. The child is very dejected and sad. The father sits next to him and calmly expalains:

" Son, in life we reach a certain level of prosperity and then we feel that there are certain things in our life that are not letting us grow any further like Home, ‎Family, Culture Friendship etc. We feel we want to be free from those strings which we believe are stopping us from going higher. But, remember son. Going higher is easier than staying at the higher level. And family and culture etc are the things that will help us stay stable at the high heights that we have achieved. If we try to break away from those strings our condition will be similar to the kite."

Happy New Year