Saturday, December 16, 2017

Beyond 'Cheeni Kum' - 2

(When a blog is written over the years, it is interesting that many stories come back to haunt. About 3-4 years ago, I blogged an account of my one classmate from the UK who married a man 30 years older. Last week, I was in London and learned the second part of her ordeal. You may read the previous post here ).

"2 weeks ago, he died!

And now I realize how rude and nasty my attitude was to him as he struggled to keep himself together. Looking back, I fall in love with him as he was a remarkably accomplished and handsome man - a deadly combination. He was an extraordinarily literate and an educated man. I fall for his intelligence. But we lived two generations apart.

A woman's tragedy is that she wants a mature man like her father but boyish like her brother. And, if she cannot soothe her two poles apart from extreme desires - she suffers a lifelong agony. Trust me, doc! Most women suffer this agony. Some women are just good at hiding it - and some cheat - and some are good at manipulating mens' around. And, I cried in my bedroom. I wish the law prohibits older men from marrying a younger woman - for their own sake!

Now, as he is gone - and I go over his colossal collection of books, his records and fondness of classical Indian music and his writings, letters of his students, plaques, accolades, awards, and awards - I am afraid to think that I expedite his death. A man needs a woman to take care of him from childhood to old age, and she puts price tags on it for her desires. I was so veiled by my desires that I failed him. I was not even home when he died that evening. My soul shudders even to think that he died helplessly. We don't even know what killed him? a low blood sugar or a heart attack.

 Doc! A woman is a complicated creature, and even the most intelligent ones - like him - cannot vibrate with her. A woman with intense emotions is the most lethal one. I advise you to have a relatively simple one!"

*

2 comments:

bsc said...

Like you made your comment before, each husband/wife relationship is unique Only they both know what is good and what is bad Others cannot understand She judges "woman"totally from her own experience but she is limiting it too much and generalizing too far or too wide.
That said the"reminder of the "wows"of the Western marriages seem very compelling Most couples wont understand what it means or would mean
ïn sickness and in health
I would like such reminders in all weddings though at the time of Nikah everything is considered inclusive and understood but spelling it out loud has its own place (I personally have performed around 30 or 40 nikahs in my life in USA)

mystic-soul said...

I agree uncle "vows of marriage", in any religion or culture carries heavy weight (only if people understands)