Sunday, May 13, 2018

Marriage - Husband, Wife and their Demons

I have a lot of unique friends. One of my friends seldom talk but once he has his ounce of wine, he can go for hours and hours. As chacha said

phir dekhiye andaaz-e-gul-afshaaniye-guftaar 
 rakh de koi paimaana-e-sahbaa mere aage

On our last 'baithak' he said something sensible. 

"Marriage is not an easy thing. Once a honeymoon period is over and many times even before or during it, demons start coming out of husband and wife. Apparently reasonable human beings turned into mean souls. One lead to another and both start treating each other unfairly. Hope is that eventually they will understand their demons and will put them under the cage. And, this is the reason marriage eventually makes you a better human being as you come to know your own faults better than anyone. But there are many who get perished in this journey".

3 comments:

Beyond said...

I think it is a very complicated relationship. It goes through phases. There is no right or wrong way to handle marriage. One has to adhere to few basic moralities but beyond that, one cannot say what can work or cannot work. In my case, I have settled in my routine of being with this person. I have built a life around him. Any change to that set pattern would deeply disturb me. Have I caged my demons, I don't know. What I do know is that one compromises on many occassions and moves on. This is how lfe works generally.

Books and Stilettos said...

I think Marriage becomes easy the more you know about yourself as a man or a woman . Jordan Peterson says " You can't have proper respect for yourself until you know that you are a monster...Because you won't act carefully enough"

When I am able to tame that monster inside me I am able to tolerate anyone ... this goes for a good marriage , raising a child , developing good relationships in every walk of life actually ...But it all starts with NOT caging a demon , Rather taming the monster inside you so one can start acting carefully ! on the other hand , If I just tried to cage something outcome is not going to be pretty in the long run ... Nothing "caged" is ever happy or is it ? Everything caged is always trying to come out ...somehow~ .. somewhere ~ while once tamed and domesticated you can enjoy it forever !

My motto in life ...work smart not hard ;)

mystic-soul said...

Beyond: You have an extremely pragmatic approach. I agree (BTW: Where have you been?)

BooksnS: Very well said. Actually, indeed I learned something. Thank you.