Woman, Man and Dog house

"How come your husband loves you so much and never even eye another woman? You may not like it but he is a very handsome as well as a successful man and many women may be looking for him"

"Because I always treat him like my prince. Ever heard: Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse".

Picture abhi baqi hai mere dost

Over the weekend, I was in Dallas and was sitting with a friend - talking depressingly about few events from life. Though this may not be true but I liked it when he imitated these dialogues of Shahrukh Khan from the movie 'Om Shanti Om'. I kept smiling all my way back.

"Ladies and Gentleman. Kehtey hain, agar kisi cheez ko dil se chaho to poori kaainaat use tum se milane ki koshish main lag jaati hai........aaj is baat ka bhi yaqeen ho gaya ke hamari filmoN ki tarah, hamari zindagi main bhi 'End' tuk, sab kuch theek hi ho jaata hai - Happys Ending - aur agar theek na ho to woh 'The End' nahi. Picture abhi baqi hai mere dost. Picture abhi baqi hai ...."

Try to say this line in your bad patch - "Picture abhi baqi hai mere dost" - it may help.


You can see both versions, (funny) and (serious) at youtube.

The Catcher In The Rye

The Catcher In The Rye, written by J.D.Salinger, was first published in 1951 and has since remained an all-time favorite American literature novel (so far sold 65 million copies). The novel's title, The Catcher In The Rye, is words taken from Robert Burns's poem 'If a Body Catches a Body Comin' Through the Rye.'

The plot is straightforward. It's the story of a teenager who is confused, angry, and lost. He has been kicked out of many well-known schools. This time, he is axed from an elite school called "Pencey." He worries the news will reach his home by Tuesday, so he wants to land there on Wednesday to avoid his parent's anger. He leaves Pencey on Saturday night and spends the next two days in New York City, and describes the hypocrisy of the world around him (phony people, as he says).

Beneath the plot, the central theme is "If little kids are playing in a rye field near the edge of some crazy cliff, and if they fall from the cliff, a catcher may appear from somewhere, catch and save them." Often, young blood feels lost, but if someone is there to help and guide them - it becomes the real catcher in the rye."

Holden Caulfield decides to escape from the phony world but stays against his wish to save his ten-year-old baby sister Phoebe.

If you like dry humor and sarcasm and appreciate the follies of life, you must read this novel. It helped me to understand my teenage psychological confusion and the new generation growing in front of me.

You can read the whole novel here

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What black?

8 baras pehle main Newyork ke airport pe apne aik cousin ke phone # ke aasre pe utri. December ki sardiyaN zoro pe thi. Main immigration se bahir aai to sham ke 4 baj rahe the. Main ne public phone se use phone kiya to usne kaha: "Ye Christmas ka time hai....You have to wait till I come."

Mere paas koi chara nahi tha. Main wahin thand main beth gai...9 baje, 10 baje, 11 baje, 12 baje magar mera cousin nahi aaya. Ab to lagta tha airport bhi band hone laga hai. Ab mera cousin phone bhi nahi utha raha tha. Itne main aik bohat hi lamba aur itna kaala ke main ne zindagi main pehle nahi dekha tha, aik Habshi (black guy) mere paas aaya aur kaha: "I am seeing for last many hours, you are sitting here. I work here at airport. I am going home but its too cold and I am not sure, you may need help".

Meri to angrezi bhi tooti phooti thi. Main ne jese tese bataya ke meri bag ke andar address hai. Habshi ne kaha: "let me take you to this address and in case if it turns out to be a fake address, I will drop you to any hotel". Main akeli 25 saal ki Pakistani larki wese hi dari hui thi. Kuch samjah nahi aaya aur najane kiun us kaale pe bharosa ker liya. Woh mujeh address tuk le gaya. Woh building ke neeche wait kerta raha (note: he could have run away with my bags). Raat ke 2 baj rahe the. Shukar hai woh mere cousin ka hi address tha. Habshi ne mere cousin ko khub bura bhala kaha ke "How dare you left her alone at airport" ....

....Woh waqt guzar gaya....But in 8 years, I could not figure out why we desis always speak negative of blacks....... jubke mere liye to aik kala habshi hi Allah ka farishta ban ker nazil huwa...

....Aur main Pakistan tuk khandan main aaj bhi badnaam hun ke "Is ne to aate hi pehle din se kalle se chakkar chalana shuru ker diya tha"....

Ilm-o-Hunr

When we were in school, there was a chapter in Urdu text book of grade 5 or 6 with title, ilm-o-hunr (Knowledge vs Skill). I think, that was an important chapter but none of the teachers knew, what it was all about. Knowledge and Skill are 2 different sets of Education and serve 2 complete different purposes in life!

Knowledge is something, you contantly learn to earn your values and character - till death. Skill is something you learn over a given time period to earn your livelihood to run everyday life - making it better with experience.

You may have seen a simple plumber or a gardener or an auto-machanic, true to his value of not charging a single extra dime beside his worth of work but you may have seen many doctors, PHDs, harvard gone politicians or even teachers who are full morons.

In this new era of professional and corporate world, I am afraid - we have lost that distinction of earning knowledge and learning skills. 

The Catcher in the Rye

Nowadays, I am reading the famous novel The Catcher in the Rye" (hopefully, I will write a post once finished). Still, it constantly reminded me of one of my class-fellow who had immense dry humor, sarcasm, psychological dyslexia, "cheeni kum," but was simultaneously extremely funny. I miss you, man !! 

His famous Quote: "Meri aadhi batoN ka koi matlab nahi hota, magar un aadhi batoN ko - jin ka matlab hota hai - ko samjhane ke liye - un batoN ka janna zaroori hai - jin ka koi matlab nahi hota - Isliye zaroori hai - tum meri har bakwas pe dhiyan do"! 

My friend Arif Iqbal - now as a physician, I am sure you turned out to be one heck of a Catcher in the Rye!

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Khush-naseeb insaan

Mujeh Hazrat Ali ke is qol ki gheraii ko samjhne main aadhi umar lag gai:

"Khush-naseeb hai woh shaks jo poora din mehnat kerne ke baad, raat ko apni biwi se ham-bistar ho kar kharratte (snore) le kar so jaata hai"

(Fortunate is a man, who after daylong hard work, sleeps snoring with his wife)

Meri aik Nazam GAZA ke naam

Gaza main jo bapi hai aaj qayamate sugra
kaanp gayi dharti, aasmaan sarak gaya

"Qatle Hussain asal main hai marge yazeed"
Islam phir zinda hoga ke hua phir karbala

Ye to taalim-e-torah ho nahi sakti kisi tarah
beh'ta khun, jalti aag, har taraf badal siyaa(h)

Ibne-maryam ko dhund ke lao kahin se yaaro
ke insaanoN ko bachaye, woh suli ka meseeha

Mujrim woh hai jo zulm dha raha hai, magar
Khamosh jo haakim hain, banao unka katehra

"sabbath' ke roz maut, khauf aur khun ki holi ?
"das aehkam" ye to na the, ke manao aashura

Barood se qaumaiN mitti nahin, batao nadaN ko
werna aaj bhi hota arz pe namrood ka basera

Duaa kerte raho dil main apne, agar majboor ho
yaqeen rakho ke raat ke baad aata hai sawera

On age 50

"You're just the romantic age, Fifty. Twenty-five is too worldly-wise; thirty is apt to be pale from overwork; forty is the age of long stories that take a whole cigar to tell; sixty is - oh, sixty is too near seventy; but fifty is the mellow age. I love fifty."

Pretty Hildegarde to Benjamin Button thinking he is 50 years old - Chapter 5, `The Curious Case of Benjamin Button' by F. Scott Fitzgerald, first published in 1922

P.S: No, I am not fifty ! , neither F. Scott Fitzgerald was. He died young.

Afraid of failure?

Princess and the Monster-2

"I bumped your blog by accident and read your post 'Princess and the Monster'. This is very true. At
least I had monsters in my castle. I was born in Lahore. I was princess of my daddy (abbu) too. I was molested many times by my elder brother's friend at age 7 and than again by another friend at age 8. My parents move to UK when I was 11. There, I was molested by my brother-in-law who was 20 years older than me. At age 14, I was lured to bed by another guy, nothing but to loose my virginity.

When I was 15, one day my other brother-in-law asked me to meet him outside school. He threatened me, that if I will not sleep with him - he will divorce my sister. I was confuse. To save my sister, I slept with him. When I got married - I told my husband about my past. He found it a good justification to beat me for 20 years as a 'slut woman'.

I am now 45, sitting here, reading your blog. My dad is 80 years old and on wheelchair. I am still her princess but I want to tell him: "You don't know daddy. There are always monsters hiding inside princess castle".

Kaun bikta nahi zamane main - 2 (update)

Is blog pe main ne, Karachi main, apne us waqiye ka zikar kiya tha - jub hum gulshan-e-iqbal ke ilaqe main 'gana' sunne jaya kerte the - aur wahan aik larki mujh pe aashiq ho gayi thi (here). Us larki ka naam Gul-Shireen tha magar hum use Gul bulate the.

Main koi saal pehle Karachi gaya to Gul ko phir dhundhne 'bazare-husn' ke chakkar kaate magar woh nahi mili. Kuch dinoN pehle mera aik dost Karachi se wapas aaya to kisi tarah Gul ki khabar laya.....Gul khubsurat to thi hi, so wahin 'bangle' pe aane wale kisi shaks ne aashiq ho ker gul se shadi ker li. Ab uske do bachhe hain aur woh aik sharifana zindagi basar ker rahi hai.

Mujhe Gul ka 'mobile #' bhi mila. Main kafi dinoN is makhmase (confusion) main raha ke mujhe Gul ko phone kerna chahiye ya nahi? Mujhe ye dar tha ke kahin mere phone se uski bani banai zindagi main koi talatum (storm) paida na ho jaaye - magar aakhri mulaqat ka 'ghao' itna ghera tha ke main ne majboor ho ker Gul ko phone ker hi diya.

Mere phone dial kerne pe jub Gul ne hello kaha to mujhe koi aur baat nahi sujhi aur main ne kaha: "is waqt baat ker sakti ho?"

"Tum !! ....15 baras baad meri yaad kese aa gai"

"Hairat hai! itne saaloN baad bhi tum ne foran meri awaz pehchan li"

"Tumhari awaz to main lakhon main pehchan leti"

(Is ke baad bus rasmi 2/4 batain hi huiN thi- ke uska beta school se wapas aa gaya)

Koi kisi se itni mohabbat kese ker sakta hai. Koi kisi ko itna kese yaad rakh sakta hai. Gul jis 'profession' main thi, wahan aik se aik turram khan haazir hota tha. Main to bohat hi average sa, patla dubla lurka tha. Magar na jaane woh kiun aur kese, yun dil de bethi ke aaj tuk mujhe bhula na paai. Kaash main ne phone nahi kiya hota - Woh mujh per pehli mulaqat se bhi gehra ghao chor gai....

Ye dil saala bara harami hai !!


Addendum: I should have added this in post above but realized after reading uncle saugoree's comment. "...I think, more than loving me, she remembered me because 15 years ago my comment hurted her very much.....Zaban ka ghao talwar se ghera hota hai......"

Pussy Generation

I am posting this quote from my very favourite Clint Eastwood (Dirty Harry) latest interview -without comments:

"My father had a couple of kids at the beginning of the Depression. There was not much employment. Not much welfare. People barely got by. People were tougher then.We live in more of a pussy generation now, where everybody's become used to saying, "Well, how do we handle it psychologically?" In those days, you just punched the bully back and duked it out. Even if the guy was older and could push you around, at least you were respected for fighting back, and you'd be left alone from then on........I don't know if I can tell you exactly when the pussy generation started. Maybe when people started asking about the meaning of life......You wonder sometimes. What will we do if something really big happens?

I remember going to a huge waterfall on a glacier in Iceland. People were there on a rock-platform overlook to see it. They had their kids. There was a place that wasn't sealed off, but it had a cable that stopped anybody from going past a certain point. I said to myself, You know, in the States they'd have that hurricane-fenced off, because they're afraid somebody's gonna fall and some lawyer's going to appear! ......

You can't stop everything from happening. But we've gotten to a point where we're certainly trying. If a car doesn't have four hundred air bags in it, then it's no good.

My father died very suddenly at sixty-three. Just dropped dead. For a long time afterward, I'd ask myself, Why didn't I ask him to play golf more? Why didn't I spend more time with him? But when you're off trying to get the brass ring, you forget and overlook those little things. It gives you a certain amount of regret later on, but there's nothing you can do about it. So you just forge on.

Smaller details are less important. Let's get on with the important stuff."


Full interview here