lost

Tum mujh se poochte ho na ke main shadi kiun nahi kerti to sun lo - meri kahani sirf aik 'line' ki hai.

"Main aath(8) baras ki thi. Aik din mere abbu kaam se ghar wapas nahi aaye. Us din se mujeh rishtoN ki sabati pe aitabar nahi raha!"

The Thorn Birds

Few novels have changed my perception or understanding of the intrigue of human relationships and life. "The Thorn Birds" is one of them. It took a while to finish this book as I was simultaneously watching a TV serial made out of it (said to be the most popular TV serial after 'Roots').

The plot revolves around a life of a girl called Meggie who falls in love with a much older person who is a handsome priest and is not allowed to marry a woman. The basic theme of the novel revolves around human's constant fight with God and the pain of losing loved ones and trying to figure out - Why me? Is God merciful? It is a story of human integrity, ambitions, the power of religion, love, lust, triangles of relationships, realizations, and accepting life as it is. It is a tale of how a woman never forgets her first love and sometimes suffers forever, how a boy cannot accept a stepfather, and how a mother loves one child more than another and creates a rebellious teen. And, How a man's ambitions can't see eye to eye with a woman's desire.

Just putting two quotes here:

1) Ralph de Bricassart (Priest): [telling the legend of the thorn bird to Meggie] There's a story... a legend, about a bird that sings just once in its life. From the moment it leaves its nest, it searches for a thorn tree... and never rests until it's found one. And then it sings... more sweetly than any other creature on the face of the earth. And singing, it impales itself on the longest, sharpest thorn. But, as it dies, it rises above its own agony, to outsing the lark and the nightingale. The thorn bird pays its life for just one song, but the whole world stills listen, and God in his heaven smiles.

Young Meggie Cleary: What does it mean, Father?

Ralph de Bricassart: That the best... is bought only at the cost of great pain.

2) After the big fire at Drogheda, which kills Maggie's father and brother

Grown-up Meggie Cleary: That dear and gentle God who has taken from me everyone that I've loved most in the world. One by one. Frank, and Hal... and Stuie... and my father. And you, of course. Always you. If God is merciful... left me no one else to grieve.

Ralph de Bricassart: He is merciful, I know you can't see that now, but he is. He spared the rose. He sent the rain.

Meggie Cleary: (Sarcasm) Oh Ralph... who sent the fire?

Wikipedia link

*

7 sisters, A bhai and Greek mythology - 2

"Will you believe if I tell you I am pregnant despite being on birth control. I believe I am getting my brother back"!

Tu Shia Main Sunni

(one true incident from a life of a person)

"...I may never forget the incident while I was a kid...... an eleven or twelve years old. We were trapped in a relatives house when violence erupted in one part of the Karachi..We were total 7 kids(I was the eldest one) & five ladies inside the house...the youngest one was only few months old.The smoke from the teargas shell was all over the place & all of us had wet towels in our hands. Then suddenly we heard people climbing on the rooftopย yelling " Shia ka gher hay aag laga do".

They did not even realized that victims were few innocent children & women. They started throwing stones inside the house. Our mom, grandmother & aunt put their hands on the mouth of all the children. Our eyes were burning & we were like dead corpse.... nobody was crying; not even my infant brother. There was pin drop silence, then we heard someone saying "lagta hay ghar ke under koi nahee hay, aag lagana beykaar hay".

They stayed on the roof for sometime.....then we heard a police van & some firing in the air & all of them vanished. We remained inside the house for many hours & then police helped us to get out of the affected area.."

7 sisters, A bhai and Greek mythology

(An email reply I received after a 29 year old brother of my colleague died in a car accident. He was youngest of seven sisters).

"I am a very christian person. I go and take my kids to church every Sunday. I asked, cried and protested to God without any answer. They say Greeks have a word for everything, and there is no human situation the Greeks didn't describe.The Greeks say it's a sin against the Gods to love something beyond all reason. Our love killed him. We are seven sisters and he was our only brother. And when someone is loved so, the Gods become jealous, and strike the object down in the very fullness of its flower. There's a lesson in it. Its profane to love too much..."

Lower Middle Class

Zindagi main kum hi baap apni aulad ka haat tham ke rote honge or maafi mangte honge. Hum Karachi ke aik neechle mutawassat (lower middle class) ilaqe main reehaish-pazeer hain. Abbu ki bank main aik naukri hai. Hum 4 bhai-bahen hain - sub parhte hain. Bari mushkil se sufed-poshi ka bharam qaaim hai. Abbu hum logon ko rozana choti choti khushioN ke liye tarasta dekhte hain. Aik sham hamari sab se choti laadli ne pizza hut jaane ki zid ki.. Hum sab 'living room' main bethe the. Abbu ka dil bhar aaya. Abbu bilak bilak ke rone lage. Abbu ne mera haat thama aur kehne lage:

"Aesa nahi ke mujeh tum logoN ki khushioN ka aehsas nahi.. Jaanta hun tum sab ka bhi dil kerta hai ke mobile phone hoN. Naye computer hoN. Pizza hut, McDonald jao. Baqi logoN ki tarah achhe kupre pehno. Meri betiyoN ko rozana subah bus stop pe jin nazroN ka samna kerna parta hai uska bhi aehsas hai magar kiya karun. Woh himmat kahan se laaun jis se log haram ka paisa kama lete hain. Mere bachhon mujeh maaf ker do ke main is mehngai aur zaalim zamane main tum logon ke liye kuch nahi ker sakta...."

Aik choti se prem kahani

(Shared by an old friend. We met after many years and spend hours catching up)

"Main pakistan se F1 visa pe aya. Student life ka zamana bahut mushkil tha. Aik waqt woh bhi tha jub bread ke saath ketchup sandwich bananae ke liye ketchup McDonald se free uthaya kerta. Pehli baar jub meri biwi ko main khana khilane le gaya (before marriage) to - I told her: 'Look! I have only 5 dollars so we need to be selective in menu'.

Shadi ki 15th anniversary pe main ne apni biwi ko 50,000 dollars ki ring gift ki. Yes I have made tons of money later in real estate business. Main ne apni biwi se poocha" 'Lunch pe kahan chalo gi?' She said: 'Usi jagah jahan pehli dafa 5 dollars ki date ki thi'!

Spiritual teaching and life

Yaad nahi parta ke is blog pe ye baat kubhi likhi ya nahi magar jawani main jub apne daheriye (atheist) khayalat ke baad main sufism ki taraf maail hua (kher ab to us ka bhi shaibaa kum ho chuka) - to aik baat sikhi aur zindagi ke kai mor pe woh baat sach saabit hui ke:

"Zindagi main pehle ilm naazil hota hai, phir tajarba warid hota hai aur phir dubara ilm aata hai us ki toseeh kerne"

"In Spriritual teaching of life first knowledge gets revealed to a man, than comes experience from events and than comes knowledge again to attest it"

(Spooky..weird..confusing..??)

Kupre

Daro us mard se jise kupre pahenne ka aur us aurat se jise kupre utarne ka shoq lug jaaye!

MohabbatoN ka safar

"Jitni muhabbat ma baap aulad se kerte hain, utni mohabbat aulad kubhi bhi ma baap se nahi ker sakti. Aesa kiun hota hai?"

"Kiun ke qudrat ke kaarkhane main har cheez aage chalti hai. Afaq ki is kaar-gahe sheesha-gari main jahan chand, taare, suraj, sayyare sab aik hisab se hain wahin insaani rishtoN main jazbaat ki tapish ko bhi aik khas andaze se gondha gaya hai! Waaldain ka aehtraam aur burhape main unka khayal laazim hai magar mohabbat ki aag agar ulti chal parti to shayed is kaainaat main kun faya kun ki jo saadain aa rahi hain woh tham si jaatiN. Ooper wale ke har amal main koi hikmat pinha hai aur us ke kaam bare nirale hain".

What a happy man!

Somebody posted this desi video on youtube. There is something magical about this video. This old man has a simple bicycle somewhere (or nowhere) in the fields of India or Pakistan. But he sounds so content without money singing this classic old Indian song.

Saima ke Sawal

Saima hum se poochti hai ke use kiya kerna chahiye? - koi batlaye ke ham batlaiN kiya?

Saima ke sawal mukhtasar zaroor hain magar mushkil hain. Saima jub America aai to sirf 5 baras ki thi. Yahin ke ma'hol main rach bas gai. Jub 17 baras ki thi to uski zindagi main aik chota sa waqiya huwa. Aik 'saturday night' night club ke baad woh aik Pakistani ke ghar ther gai aur ha'amila (pregnant) ho gai. 

- It was a one night stand which turned into a nightmare. 

Us ne 'abortion' kerwane se inkaar ker diya. Ghar walon ne us waqt ki choti si 'Pakistani community' main izzat bachane ke liye use LA se Florida bhej diya. Wahan aik hospital main aik khubsurat bachhi ko janam dene ke baad usne bachhi ko adoption main de diya. Jis OB/Gyn ne use treat kiya usi ne bachhi ko adopt ker liya. Bachhi ke behtar mustaqbil ki khatir us ne ye karwa ghunt pi liya - and she moved on with her life. Is baat ko 22 baras guzar gaye.

Now she has a prosperous life with a loving husband and 2 nice kids. She has a beautiful house in the suburb with Lexus RX 470 and Audi 6 in driveway.

Saima mujh se 2 sawal poochti hai. Pehle sawal ka jawab to mere paas hai magar dusre ka nahi. Pehla sawal ye hai ke kiya ab use apni beti se 'contact' kerna chahiye? Saima beti ke qahar se darti hai magar mera khayal hai ke use phir bhi apni bachhi se zaroor 'contact' kerna chahiye.

Dusre sawal ka jawab mere paas nahi hai. Woh ab bhi us shaks ko jaanti hai jis ke nutfe se uski beti ne janam liya. Kiya use us shaks ko batana chahiye ke uski koi aik beti bhi hai. Us shaks ki apni aik aasuda zindagi hai. Aesa kerne se 2 abad khandan barbad ho sakte haiN. Saima kehti hai mera shohar mujh se bohat mohabbat kerta hai magar ander se woh bhi tumhari tarah aik kamina Pakistani mard hai!

kisi ki aankh agar jo num nahi hai
ye na samjho ke usko gum nahi hai

Dollar vs Rupee

Jub main naya naya America aaya to NY main aik hyderabadi Indian family ke saath PG (Paying Guest) rehta tha. Bare nafees aur piyar kerne waale log the. Mujh main us zanmane main "Pakistaniat" kut kut ke bhari hui thi. Aap use "black Patriotism" keh sakte hain. Basheer Bhai Indra Gandhi ke fan the. Hamari khub bahes hoti magar un ke piyar main zara farq na aata. Hamare saath aik aur hyderabadi larka - Ashok rehta tha. Har raat sone se pehle apne bache kuche paise (change) khirki ke paas chor deta - jo ya to basheer bhai ki beti school jaate le jati ya phir dinoN wahin pare rehte. Main Pakistan se naya naya aaya tha - aur din main jub ghar pe koi nahi hota - un paisoN ko gin ker sochta - Pakistani rupoN main kitne banaiN ge? Aur hairat se sochta: "Itne paise aese kiun chor dena?"

Aik din main ne Ashok se kaha: "Tum agar ye paise jor ke rakho to India/Pakistan ke mahine ke koi 1000/2000 rupe ho jaayain".

Meri baat sun ke Ashok zor zor se hasne laga. Kehne laga: "Yaar paisoN se, aur woh bhi khulle paison se itna piyar nahi kerte. Tum barsoN is mulk main raho ge. Meri aadat daal lo, zindagi asan ho jaaye gi".

Main ne Poocha: "Kesi adat?"

Kehne laga: "Dollar ko dollar ki jagah rupe bolte raho. Kharch kerna asan ho jaaye ga. Aur Nuqsan se takleef bhi kum ho gi"

Yaqeen kijye - woh din aur aaj ka din - main ab bhi dollar ko rupe/paise keh ker bulata hun. Aur mere liye zindagi kafi sahel ho gai hai. Main ab 2.99 aur 3.99 ka ziyada hisab nahi kerta! Aur 499 ka iPad khareed ke ziyada takleef nahi hoti!

3 AdalataiN

Is Duniya main 3 tarah ki adalatain hoti hain.

Aik to woh jahan court kacheriaN sajti hain. WakeeloN ki bahes hoti hai. Jhoote sachhe gawah pesh hote haiN. Kubhi begunah ko phansi bhi lag jaati hai. Jahan "sood-o-ziaN" ka karobar hota hai.

Dusri adalat woh hai jo kehte hain ooper wale ki hai. Mujh jese daheriye ke liye to pata nahi hoti bhi ya nahi - ya kubhi hogi bhi ke nahi. Aese faisloN ka koi kiya kare jub chirya chuk gai khet. Allah mian bhi naa....

Magar aik adalat aesi hai jo hum insaanoN ke beech hoti hai. Jahan darguzar ka qanoon chalta hai. Jahan jeetne ki khuwahish nahi hoti. Jahan kamine dil ka raj chalta hai. Jahan baqol faiz: "Jese bimar ko bewajah qarar aa jaye" ki mantiq chalti hai. Is adalat main nuqsan paane se ziyada kisi aur ko nuqsan na paunchaane ka andesah khayye jaata hai.....

Rub hi jaane - insaani rishtoN ki is khencha taani main kaun si adalat hum jese insaaon ke naqsh ki shokhiye tehreer hai!

Humeesha

Some people continue to amaze you. I know Suroor for about 4 years now as a prolific English writer but when she send me following in Urdu 'rasmul-khat' I was amazed. Unfortunately I was unable to get Urdu fonts. Interestingly, she can write with similar flow in Arabic. I guess! few people are just God gifted!


Humeesha

Zindagi ke dhool paRhe kuch panne palaTte huay
Kal ek jagah par meri ungliyaan thum si gaeen

Ek waqt se peeley huay panne par
Tumhara naam kabhi naKHoon se khooda hua tha

Kab, Kiyoon, kahaan? Yeh to yaad nahin
Aur yaad karne ki ab ijazat bhi nahin

Bohat bar chahaa ke tanhai ke andheroon mein
Main apne he nakhoonoon se tumhare naam ko khurach Daloon

Magar phir Khoon se bhare naKHoon goud mein rakh kar
Main rukh jaya karti hoon

Kiya yehi meri Kismat hai, keh tum humeesha
Meri zindagi ka ek dard or khoon se bhara hissa bane raho ge?

2 tarah ke insaan

Duniya main 2 tarah ke inssan hote hain. Aik woh jinhe is baat main 'interest' hota hai ke woh logoN se kiya le sakte hain. Dusre woh - jinhe is baat main 'interest' hota hai ke woh logoN ko kiya de sakte hain.

Meri Dua hai - tum dusri tarah ke insaan bano!

Shagoon

Kiya tum "shagoon" (omens) ko maante ho?

Hame to yaqeen nahi aata tha magar ab lagta hai - jub hamare buzurgh kehte the ke "Naik shagoon ya bud-shagoon" (Good or bad omen) to woh sirf purane ya daqyanusi khayalat nahi hote the magar un main kuch na kuch haqeeqat zaroor hoti thi.

Fariya

"Tum kitne kutte ho na" !

Jub woh mujh se ye jumla kehti thi to us ke laboN main dabi dabi muskurahat bari piyari lagti thi aur mujeh bhi hasi aa jati thi. Fariya se meri mulaqat pehli baar 'MD Anderson' main hui thi. Main Residency ka elective kerne Chicago se Houston gaya tha. Fariya wahan ke coffee shop main kaam kerti thi. Woh India se aai thi. Main 2 mahine wahan raha. Fariya se roz mulaqat hoti. Roz main use chehrne ke liye kehta - 'Aaj bhi coffee main taste nahi hai' aur woh mujh se kehti: "tum kitne kutte ho na"! Aur hum dono has dete..

Fariya ki kahani bari mukhtasar thi. Use America aane ka shoq tha. India se aik din bhag ke yahan aa gai. Ghar walo ne rishta tor liya. Yahan rishtedaroN ne mun mor liya. Ab akeli thi. Womens' hostel main rehti thi aur akele akele job kerti thi. Kehti thi paise jama ker rahi hun. Kuch paise ho jaain to college jaun gi. Magar mujeh us ki kahani main koi interest na tha. Aesi kahanian un dinoN roz hi America main sunne milti thi. Mujeh to us ki bus muskurahat bari piyari lagti thi. Jis chahat se coffee banati aur jis piyar se woh logoN ko 'serve' kerti - cancer ke dardnak marz main mubtla mareezoN ko jese nai zindagi de deti.

2 mahine baad main Chicago aa gaya. Us zamane main cell phone to hote nahi the. Chicago se nikalte huwe apni land line main ne disconnect kerwa di thi. Main ne Fariya ko apne hospital ka pager # de diya tha. Is baat ko koi saal guzar gaya aur phir 'from nowhere' Fariya ne mujeh page kiya. Fariya ki awaz bari kamzor thi. Fariya ko renal cell carcinoma ho gaya tha aur usi MD Anderson main ilaj kerwa rahi thi. Kehne lagi: 'Agar zinda na rahun to meri aik amanat kisi ko paunchani hai'. Pehli baar usne apne womens' hostel ka room # mujeh bataya. Meri ICU ki rotation chal rahi thi. Mujeh Houston jaane main mahina lag giya.

Main womens' hostel pauncha to pata chala Fariya hospital main admit hai. Us ne mazeed ilaj kerwane se inkar ker diya tha aur hospice main admit thi. Sir ke baal utar chuke the. Gaalon ki hadiyan bahir nikal aayi thi. Jub main ne use pehli baar dekha to mera dimag sun ho gaya. Ye woh Fariya nahi thi jise main chor ke gaya tha. Saath kursi pe betha to usne apni bag se aik khat nikala. Kehne lagi: "ye khat meri maut ke baad mere parents ko mail ker dena. Andar kuch nahi, muaafi ke do lafz hain". Us ne mujh se poocha: "Main har sunday tumhe phone karungi. Jis sunday mera phone na aaye, samjh lena main ab nahi rahi. Mera ye kaam karoge na?" Main ne kaha: "Nahi". Kehne lagi: "Tum kitne kutte ho na"!

Main ne chalte huwe use bataye bagair nursing station pe apna contact chor diya. Mere Chicago aane ke aik mahine baad Fariya is jahane Fani se kuch ker gai. Main family emergency ka bahana ker ke Houston aaya. Hospice walon ne khud hi funeral ka bandobast ker liya. Paise 'pay' huwe ya nahi maalum nahi - magar Fariya ke funeral main main wahid aadmi tha. Usne kisi rishtedar ya dost ka koi contact nahi chora tha. Shayed woh to sirf muskurahat bantna janti thi dukh nahi. Jub Fariya ko qabar main utar rahe the to mujeh laga uski muskurahat wapas aa gai ho aur mujh se keh rahi ho: "Tum kitne kutte hona. Yahan bhi aa gaye"!

Main ne Fariya ka khat aik choti si tehreer ke saath India mail ker diya. Aaj Fariya ki 15th death anniversary hai. Fariya ki kahani kahin nahi likhi jaaye gi magar jo muskurahat woh logoN ko baantti thi uski khusbu hamesah logoN ke diloN ko mehkati rahe gi.

Yes Fariya I miss you sometimes and yes I do miss your coffee!

Sex and Marriage

If sex is good, marriage is 10% good. If sex is bad 90% of marriage is ruined.

(Read somewhere)

Time - Linear or circular?

Jub hum barwihN jamat (grade 12) main the to hamara aik mazmoon huwa kerta tha - 'Modern physics'. Hamare Physics ke ustad kehte the:

"Hum sochte hain ke 'waqt' sirf aage chalta hai magar is qaainat main 'waqt' dusri tawaniyoN ki tarah har taraf pehla huwa hai. 'Waqt' ka aik daira hai jo 'infinite' hai. Hum sab is 'waqt' main beh rahe hain. Hum aik hi saath - guzri sadioN main bhi rehte hain aur mustaqbil main bhi. Hame is ka aehsas nahi hota magar waqt ke is dhare main - na to hum aage hain aur na hi peeche!"

??