Aulad se mohabbat - aik sawal

Kiya ye sach hai ke - insaan 'adopted kids' se woh mohabbat kubhi bhi nahi ker sakta jo use apne batan se paida hone wali aulad se hoti hai?

(Mujeh to aesa nahi lagta magar log yahi kehte hain)

Bura Waqt

Har insaan ki zindagi main achhe bure dinoN ka 'roller coaster' chalta rehta hai. Achha waqt to asani se kut jaata hai magar bure waqt ka aik aik lamha giraN hota hai - Magar jis bure waqt ki tapish se insaan main sach bolne ki quwwat na aaye woh waqt siwaye bojh dhaane aur mazdoori ke kuch nahi!

Ajeeb apni ye zindagi hai!

I am putting this song on this blog as it coincides with theme of this blog. It is sung by a relatively new artist from Karachi named Javeria (for a TV serial I guess) but I think poetry, music and her voice impressed me (and its not easy to impress me!)

Ajeeb apni ye zindagi hai -
sameto jitna, bikhar rahi hai
hum aik pal ko bhi jee na paye
(aur) ye lamha lamha guzar rahi hai

Predictably Irrational

I wanted to write this post for a while. I was lucky to get introduced to this book: "Predictably Irrational" by Dan Ariely. This is one of the most interesting books I have read so far and finished almost in one sitting.

This book talks about how psychology plays part in carving human economy, not only at personal level but at corporate as well as global level. How everything including emotions are relative to each other. How advertisements fool our brian. Why its easty to buy $3000 TV but hard to pay $2 on item at store! What's wrong with whole idea of demand and supply. One interesting chapter is all about power of "zero". How human brain get deceive by concept of free. Why people get intimidate by hard cash.

How social relationships get screwed when money finds it way into it. He says: we like to believe and behave like social but caring animals but how our inside animal comes out when things go on sale! How our decision power changes when we are 'high'! Why 'procrastination' soothes human mind. How we value our belongings more than it deserve in market ("Virtual Ownership") and play havoc with us!

Why keeping options open is not a great idea. How it hurts when we don't decide and let life take with us. It talks about power of expectations and price. Why restaurants price one dish so expensive knowing nobody gonna order it (because people will order second most expensive with psychology of having best but not wanting to pay too much...lol)

It tells us how corruption at individual level effects whole system. Why we feel comfortable getting free stuff from work. How it hurts when people return stuff in departmental store unethically. It teaches us trust, power of distrust and honesty.

I granted Dan Ariely the rutba of babaji!

Cash!

Cash is the most popular religion. (annonymous)

Sufi Baba Warren Buffett's says

Babaji Warren Buffett says:

The power of unconditional love. I mean, there is no power on earth like unconditional love. And I think that if you offered that to your child, I mean you’re 90 percent of the way home. There may be days when you don’t feel like it, it’s not uncritical love, that’s a different animal, but to know you can always come back, that is huge in life. That takes you a long, long way. And I would say that every parent out there that can extend that to their child at an early age, it’s going to make for a better human being.

Read full story here

lost

Tum mujh se poochte ho na ke main shadi kiun nahi kerti to sun lo - meri kahani sirf aik 'line' ki hai.

"Main aath(8) baras ki thi. Aik din mere abbu kaam se ghar wapas nahi aaye. Us din se mujeh rishtoN ki sabati pe aitabar nahi raha!"

The Thorn Birds

Few novels have changed my perception or understanding of the intrigue of human relationships and life. "The Thorn Birds" is one of them. It took a while to finish this book as I was simultaneously watching a TV serial made out of it (said to be the most popular TV serial after 'Roots').

The plot revolves around a life of a girl called Meggie who falls in love with a much older person who is a handsome priest and is not allowed to marry a woman. The basic theme of the novel revolves around human's constant fight with God and the pain of losing loved ones and trying to figure out - Why me? Is God merciful? It is a story of human integrity, ambitions, the power of religion, love, lust, triangles of relationships, realizations, and accepting life as it is. It is a tale of how a woman never forgets her first love and sometimes suffers forever, how a boy cannot accept a stepfather, and how a mother loves one child more than another and creates a rebellious teen. And, How a man's ambitions can't see eye to eye with a woman's desire.

Just putting two quotes here:

1) Ralph de Bricassart (Priest): [telling the legend of the thorn bird to Meggie] There's a story... a legend, about a bird that sings just once in its life. From the moment it leaves its nest, it searches for a thorn tree... and never rests until it's found one. And then it sings... more sweetly than any other creature on the face of the earth. And singing, it impales itself on the longest, sharpest thorn. But, as it dies, it rises above its own agony, to outsing the lark and the nightingale. The thorn bird pays its life for just one song, but the whole world stills listen, and God in his heaven smiles.

Young Meggie Cleary: What does it mean, Father?

Ralph de Bricassart: That the best... is bought only at the cost of great pain.

2) After the big fire at Drogheda, which kills Maggie's father and brother

Grown-up Meggie Cleary: That dear and gentle God who has taken from me everyone that I've loved most in the world. One by one. Frank, and Hal... and Stuie... and my father. And you, of course. Always you. If God is merciful... left me no one else to grieve.

Ralph de Bricassart: He is merciful, I know you can't see that now, but he is. He spared the rose. He sent the rain.

Meggie Cleary: (Sarcasm) Oh Ralph... who sent the fire?

Wikipedia link

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7 sisters, A bhai and Greek mythology - 2

"Will you believe if I tell you I am pregnant despite being on birth control. I believe I am getting my brother back"!

Tu Shia Main Sunni

(one true incident from a life of a person)

"...I may never forget the incident while I was a kid...... an eleven or twelve years old. We were trapped in a relatives house when violence erupted in one part of the Karachi..We were total 7 kids(I was the eldest one) & five ladies inside the house...the youngest one was only few months old.The smoke from the teargas shell was all over the place & all of us had wet towels in our hands. Then suddenly we heard people climbing on the rooftopย yelling " Shia ka gher hay aag laga do".

They did not even realized that victims were few innocent children & women. They started throwing stones inside the house. Our mom, grandmother & aunt put their hands on the mouth of all the children. Our eyes were burning & we were like dead corpse.... nobody was crying; not even my infant brother. There was pin drop silence, then we heard someone saying "lagta hay ghar ke under koi nahee hay, aag lagana beykaar hay".

They stayed on the roof for sometime.....then we heard a police van & some firing in the air & all of them vanished. We remained inside the house for many hours & then police helped us to get out of the affected area.."

7 sisters, A bhai and Greek mythology

(An email reply I received after a 29 year old brother of my colleague died in a car accident. He was youngest of seven sisters).

"I am a very christian person. I go and take my kids to church every Sunday. I asked, cried and protested to God without any answer. They say Greeks have a word for everything, and there is no human situation the Greeks didn't describe.The Greeks say it's a sin against the Gods to love something beyond all reason. Our love killed him. We are seven sisters and he was our only brother. And when someone is loved so, the Gods become jealous, and strike the object down in the very fullness of its flower. There's a lesson in it. Its profane to love too much..."

Lower Middle Class

Zindagi main kum hi baap apni aulad ka haat tham ke rote honge or maafi mangte honge. Hum Karachi ke aik neechle mutawassat (lower middle class) ilaqe main reehaish-pazeer hain. Abbu ki bank main aik naukri hai. Hum 4 bhai-bahen hain - sub parhte hain. Bari mushkil se sufed-poshi ka bharam qaaim hai. Abbu hum logon ko rozana choti choti khushioN ke liye tarasta dekhte hain. Aik sham hamari sab se choti laadli ne pizza hut jaane ki zid ki.. Hum sab 'living room' main bethe the. Abbu ka dil bhar aaya. Abbu bilak bilak ke rone lage. Abbu ne mera haat thama aur kehne lage:

"Aesa nahi ke mujeh tum logoN ki khushioN ka aehsas nahi.. Jaanta hun tum sab ka bhi dil kerta hai ke mobile phone hoN. Naye computer hoN. Pizza hut, McDonald jao. Baqi logoN ki tarah achhe kupre pehno. Meri betiyoN ko rozana subah bus stop pe jin nazroN ka samna kerna parta hai uska bhi aehsas hai magar kiya karun. Woh himmat kahan se laaun jis se log haram ka paisa kama lete hain. Mere bachhon mujeh maaf ker do ke main is mehngai aur zaalim zamane main tum logon ke liye kuch nahi ker sakta...."

Aik choti se prem kahani

(Shared by an old friend. We met after many years and spend hours catching up)

"Main pakistan se F1 visa pe aya. Student life ka zamana bahut mushkil tha. Aik waqt woh bhi tha jub bread ke saath ketchup sandwich bananae ke liye ketchup McDonald se free uthaya kerta. Pehli baar jub meri biwi ko main khana khilane le gaya (before marriage) to - I told her: 'Look! I have only 5 dollars so we need to be selective in menu'.

Shadi ki 15th anniversary pe main ne apni biwi ko 50,000 dollars ki ring gift ki. Yes I have made tons of money later in real estate business. Main ne apni biwi se poocha" 'Lunch pe kahan chalo gi?' She said: 'Usi jagah jahan pehli dafa 5 dollars ki date ki thi'!

Spiritual teaching and life

Yaad nahi parta ke is blog pe ye baat kubhi likhi ya nahi magar jawani main jub apne daheriye (atheist) khayalat ke baad main sufism ki taraf maail hua (kher ab to us ka bhi shaibaa kum ho chuka) - to aik baat sikhi aur zindagi ke kai mor pe woh baat sach saabit hui ke:

"Zindagi main pehle ilm naazil hota hai, phir tajarba warid hota hai aur phir dubara ilm aata hai us ki toseeh kerne"

"In Spriritual teaching of life first knowledge gets revealed to a man, than comes experience from events and than comes knowledge again to attest it"

(Spooky..weird..confusing..??)

Kupre

Daro us mard se jise kupre pahenne ka aur us aurat se jise kupre utarne ka shoq lug jaaye!

MohabbatoN ka safar

"Jitni muhabbat ma baap aulad se kerte hain, utni mohabbat aulad kubhi bhi ma baap se nahi ker sakti. Aesa kiun hota hai?"

"Kiun ke qudrat ke kaarkhane main har cheez aage chalti hai. Afaq ki is kaar-gahe sheesha-gari main jahan chand, taare, suraj, sayyare sab aik hisab se hain wahin insaani rishtoN main jazbaat ki tapish ko bhi aik khas andaze se gondha gaya hai! Waaldain ka aehtraam aur burhape main unka khayal laazim hai magar mohabbat ki aag agar ulti chal parti to shayed is kaainaat main kun faya kun ki jo saadain aa rahi hain woh tham si jaatiN. Ooper wale ke har amal main koi hikmat pinha hai aur us ke kaam bare nirale hain".

What a happy man!

Somebody posted this desi video on youtube. There is something magical about this video. This old man has a simple bicycle somewhere (or nowhere) in the fields of India or Pakistan. But he sounds so content without money singing this classic old Indian song.

Saima ke Sawal

Saima hum se poochti hai ke use kiya kerna chahiye? - koi batlaye ke ham batlaiN kiya?

Saima ke sawal mukhtasar zaroor hain magar mushkil hain. Saima jub America aai to sirf 5 baras ki thi. Yahin ke ma'hol main rach bas gai. Jub 17 baras ki thi to uski zindagi main aik chota sa waqiya huwa. Aik 'saturday night' night club ke baad woh aik Pakistani ke ghar ther gai aur ha'amila (pregnant) ho gai. 

- It was a one night stand which turned into a nightmare. 

Us ne 'abortion' kerwane se inkaar ker diya. Ghar walon ne us waqt ki choti si 'Pakistani community' main izzat bachane ke liye use LA se Florida bhej diya. Wahan aik hospital main aik khubsurat bachhi ko janam dene ke baad usne bachhi ko adoption main de diya. Jis OB/Gyn ne use treat kiya usi ne bachhi ko adopt ker liya. Bachhi ke behtar mustaqbil ki khatir us ne ye karwa ghunt pi liya - and she moved on with her life. Is baat ko 22 baras guzar gaye.

Now she has a prosperous life with a loving husband and 2 nice kids. She has a beautiful house in the suburb with Lexus RX 470 and Audi 6 in driveway.

Saima mujh se 2 sawal poochti hai. Pehle sawal ka jawab to mere paas hai magar dusre ka nahi. Pehla sawal ye hai ke kiya ab use apni beti se 'contact' kerna chahiye? Saima beti ke qahar se darti hai magar mera khayal hai ke use phir bhi apni bachhi se zaroor 'contact' kerna chahiye.

Dusre sawal ka jawab mere paas nahi hai. Woh ab bhi us shaks ko jaanti hai jis ke nutfe se uski beti ne janam liya. Kiya use us shaks ko batana chahiye ke uski koi aik beti bhi hai. Us shaks ki apni aik aasuda zindagi hai. Aesa kerne se 2 abad khandan barbad ho sakte haiN. Saima kehti hai mera shohar mujh se bohat mohabbat kerta hai magar ander se woh bhi tumhari tarah aik kamina Pakistani mard hai!

kisi ki aankh agar jo num nahi hai
ye na samjho ke usko gum nahi hai

Dollar vs Rupee

Jub main naya naya America aaya to NY main aik hyderabadi Indian family ke saath PG (Paying Guest) rehta tha. Bare nafees aur piyar kerne waale log the. Mujh main us zanmane main "Pakistaniat" kut kut ke bhari hui thi. Aap use "black Patriotism" keh sakte hain. Basheer Bhai Indra Gandhi ke fan the. Hamari khub bahes hoti magar un ke piyar main zara farq na aata. Hamare saath aik aur hyderabadi larka - Ashok rehta tha. Har raat sone se pehle apne bache kuche paise (change) khirki ke paas chor deta - jo ya to basheer bhai ki beti school jaate le jati ya phir dinoN wahin pare rehte. Main Pakistan se naya naya aaya tha - aur din main jub ghar pe koi nahi hota - un paisoN ko gin ker sochta - Pakistani rupoN main kitne banaiN ge? Aur hairat se sochta: "Itne paise aese kiun chor dena?"

Aik din main ne Ashok se kaha: "Tum agar ye paise jor ke rakho to India/Pakistan ke mahine ke koi 1000/2000 rupe ho jaayain".

Meri baat sun ke Ashok zor zor se hasne laga. Kehne laga: "Yaar paisoN se, aur woh bhi khulle paison se itna piyar nahi kerte. Tum barsoN is mulk main raho ge. Meri aadat daal lo, zindagi asan ho jaaye gi".

Main ne Poocha: "Kesi adat?"

Kehne laga: "Dollar ko dollar ki jagah rupe bolte raho. Kharch kerna asan ho jaaye ga. Aur Nuqsan se takleef bhi kum ho gi"

Yaqeen kijye - woh din aur aaj ka din - main ab bhi dollar ko rupe/paise keh ker bulata hun. Aur mere liye zindagi kafi sahel ho gai hai. Main ab 2.99 aur 3.99 ka ziyada hisab nahi kerta! Aur 499 ka iPad khareed ke ziyada takleef nahi hoti!

3 AdalataiN

Is Duniya main 3 tarah ki adalatain hoti hain.

Aik to woh jahan court kacheriaN sajti hain. WakeeloN ki bahes hoti hai. Jhoote sachhe gawah pesh hote haiN. Kubhi begunah ko phansi bhi lag jaati hai. Jahan "sood-o-ziaN" ka karobar hota hai.

Dusri adalat woh hai jo kehte hain ooper wale ki hai. Mujh jese daheriye ke liye to pata nahi hoti bhi ya nahi - ya kubhi hogi bhi ke nahi. Aese faisloN ka koi kiya kare jub chirya chuk gai khet. Allah mian bhi naa....

Magar aik adalat aesi hai jo hum insaanoN ke beech hoti hai. Jahan darguzar ka qanoon chalta hai. Jahan jeetne ki khuwahish nahi hoti. Jahan kamine dil ka raj chalta hai. Jahan baqol faiz: "Jese bimar ko bewajah qarar aa jaye" ki mantiq chalti hai. Is adalat main nuqsan paane se ziyada kisi aur ko nuqsan na paunchaane ka andesah khayye jaata hai.....

Rub hi jaane - insaani rishtoN ki is khencha taani main kaun si adalat hum jese insaaon ke naqsh ki shokhiye tehreer hai!