Your love language?

Lately I was very busy working and travelling. One friend complaint that I am not answering his calls, texts and emails - and I am not that old friend as before! It reminded me of famous book by Gary Chapman "The five love languages". Every human eventually fall into one category

1. receiving gifts, - You feel loved by getting gifts
2. quality time, - you feel loved if someone spend time with you
3. words of affirmation, - you like to get acknowledgement 
4. acts of service,  - you feel loved if someone do stuff for you 
5. physical touch - you feel loved by hugs and cuddling

My love language is 'words of affirmation'. My friend's love language is probably 'quality time'. You can check your love language here or here

Breakfast

(A story came in a forward email)

It was a busy Morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an Appointment at 9:00 am. I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, Knowing it would be over an hour before someone would be able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.

On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the Doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound. While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry.

The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I inquired as to her health He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's disease. As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.

 I was surprised, and asked him, 'And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?'

 He smiled as he patted my hand and said, 'She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is.'

 I had to hold back myself as he left, I had goose bumps on my arms.

Aurat

On 'Trusting'

Kan Kun (Miner)

Dr. Shariq Ali practices surgery and lives in England. He loves doing audio pod casts on various subjects. He has beautiful voice. He is one heck of a gem person. He is a man of deep emotional thoughts and has a deep literary sense. He writes poetry, short stories and essays. Recently, he published seven of his essays in Urdu. I thoroughly enjoyed reading each of them, along listening to them. Though he call it short stories - they are more of inshaiyas.

I would advise any reader of this blog  to at least hear his following pod cast. It is a pure delight and gives you an unique look on any simple human life - Kan kun (Miner)

http://valueversity.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/kankun-by-shariq-ali-awazay-urdu-short-story.mp3

You can hear and read all his work at his website http://www.valueversity.com/

A quote on life

Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out. 

- Anton Chekhov (master of short stories)

Life is a ....

"Life is a bitch"
"No Sir! You are wrong. Life is a whore. She f*** everyone"!

.

A quote

Today someone said following naked truth of life on my face - and I agreed. 

 He who pays the piper calls the tunes.

On "Adjectives"

Gusse ki Aankh

I read horrible news of a desi family in Houston - where parents got killed in Suicide-cum-Homicide and kids are under 'Child Protective Services' (here). Whatever triggered one parent to pull trigger on whole family, reminded me of my Dadi - who use to remind my father during his usual spells of anger.

"Gusse ki aankh nahi hoti"

(Gussa aag ki ruhani shakal hai - jo qaboo main rahe to tuaam ka intazam kerti hai, be-qaboo ho jaaye to ghar jala deti hai - Anger is the spiritual form of Fire. If it remains in line, it creates food, but if gets out of control, it burns the house).

Sherlock Holmes - 2

2 weeks ago when I blogged a musing about Sherlock Holmes (link), he was on my mind for a while. As I spoke to a colleague at work, he told me one very interesting quote from his adventures which makes a lot of depth and sense. I asked him to find me a link. I waited and finally reminded him - and here it is 

“There is nothing in which deduction is so necessary as in religion,” said he, leaning with his back against the shutters. “It can be built up as an exact science by the reasoner. Our highest assurance of the goodness of Providence seems to me to rest in the flowers. All other things, our powers our desires, our food, are all really necessary for our existence in the first instance. But this rose is an extra. Its smell and its color are an embellishment of life, not a condition of it. It is only goodness which gives extras, and so I say again that we have much to hope from the flowers.” (Sherlock Holmes in 'The Naval Treaty' - Part 1)

Dr. Garcia

Dr. Garcia was a trauma surgeon in the hospital where I did my residency/fellowship. I had few professional interactions with him while in training, but I often saw him smoking a cigarette outside the trauma ER while awaiting trauma to arrive. He sat down with his tray in the cafeteria with us a few times, and it was apparent he loved hot dogs and all junk food. He was known for his aggressive style, high clinical acumen-ship, sense of humor, and above all, his handsome personality. He was tall, fully bearded, and well built. Three years passed by, I finished my training and moved on with my life.

Five years later, I had to go back to my hospital to get some papers done. From the parking lot, I had to take a walkway bypassing rehab. and long-term nursing facility. I was shocked to see Dr. Garcia sitting in a wheelchair watching traffic from a glass of walkway. He was completely disheveled. His hair was all gray. He had lost half of his weight, and apparently, most muscle mass was gone. His face and eyes were drooped to one side, telling me he had a significant stroke.

As I finished my work, I met Pradeep, who was from Bombay, was my junior resident and now was a senior fellow. I asked Pradeep: "Ye Dr. Gracia ko kiya huwa?"

Pradeep in his classic Bombay style, told me: "Mar gaya tha sala, ER ke bahir collapse ho gaya. Aadha ghanta CPR chala. 'hypothermia protocol' se bach to gaya magar stroke ho gaya hai. Kesa handsome hero aadmi tha, aik dum finish ho gaya yaar".

"Bad habits?"

"Are bad habits to bahana hai.....Biwi se bohat piyar kerta tha. 20 saal se married tha. Piyar biwi se kerta tha aur poora din rehta hospital main tha....ER ke bahir khara tha jab divorce ke papers mile. Wahin collapse ho gaya. .... Meri aik baar is ke saath rotation thi, to mere ko bolta tha..'Biwi achhi honi chayye. Biwi achhi ho, piyar kerne wali ho to aadmi saari dunya se lar sakta hai'....... Sale ki battery biwi main thi, aur biwi bhag gayi.."

I didn't know what to say to Pradeep. I cut short my trip and took my rent-a-car to Ohare to fly back home!

Chorna (leaving)

Kisi bhi rishte main is se ziyada taklif deh baat aur koi nahi hoti jab baar baar  aap kisi se ye kehte hain ke: 
"Main tumhe chor ke chala jaunga ya chali jaungi"

(Jana hai to chale jao, roz roz kisi ko yun 'mental torture' to na do)

On "quick aging"

(1)

"WOW! Is that you? You look so pretty! How old is that pic?"
"About 2 years"
"So what happened in just 2 years?"
"This what happens when your husband stop yielding (paying attention) at you".
_________________________________________________

(2)

"So what happened to your father, he looks so old. I just saw him a year ago and he looked so young."
"Since my brother and his only son died, my father aged very quickly"!

Podey (Plants)

Kiya ye sach hai ke - jab gharoN main rishte murda ho jaayeN to gharoN ke podey bhi murjha jaate hain?

A rare gem of Urdu literature

Following verse of Urdu is from a Gora poet know as Isfaan - which may have come from Stephen or Stevens. His Parents were English but he was born in Dilli and lived all his life there. He was described as french by Ram Babu Saksena in his book  'A History of Urdu Literature' (here). What is intriguing is that he lived in 18th century and died in 1802. It is hard to comprehend that a gora in that period having such closeness with budding language of Urdu. There is no formal collection of his work but this sher is described.

     خط کا یہ جواب آیا کہ لکھا جو کبھی پھر خط

     کر ڈالوں گا اک  دم میں تیری آن کے پرزے

                             اسفان                

On Sherlock Holmes, Women and Ibne Safi

While growing and have been addicted to books (call me nerd), no other author shaped my personality more than Ibne Safi. Over period of my lifetime, I bought and simultaneously lost hundreds of books. But, still in my library I have full (and I mean full) collection of Ibne Safi. Layman Pakistanis may remember Ibne Safi only as a mystery writer, but his vivid readers know him as a man of deep thought who sprinkles intricacies of life in simple words - sentence after sentence. To them, story and plot were just a veil to his unique perception to life.

So, my son asked me - what he should read beside his school books. I advised him to start his readings from Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes, knowing he can't read Urdu. Let me give you a glimpse of his writing. In one case, Sherlock Holmes get beaten by a woman. As she gives wild goose chase to him and finally get away deceiving him, she wrote to Sherlock Holmes: ".......your client may rest in peace. I love and am loved by a better man than he....." And, at end Arthur Conan Doyle adds: "...and (that's) how the best plans of Mr. Sherlock Holmes were beaten by a woman's wit. He used to make merry over the cleverness of women, but I have not heard him do it of late. And when he speaks of Irene Adler, or when he refers to her photograph, it is always under the honorable title of the woman."

On "MuR ke Dekhna"

"Aaj bare udas lag rahe ho?"

"Yaar us ne jaate jaate muR ke dekha tak nahi"

"Aesa is liye bhi to ho sakta hai ke - usey tum se dubara milne ka bohat hi yaqeen ho".

Devil's Advocate

It was a one snowy night of 1999. I had to take refuge in a small motel of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. I had a chance to have a one-night-stand with one gorgeous woman. I passed it. Same night, while lying in bed, flipping TV channels- I saw this movie. I am not sure - was it just a co-incidence or a teaching for me? It was a milestone moment for my inner growth as a human.

Devil's advocate is one of the finest movie, made to portray the inner fight of good and evil inside any human. Following clip is one of the best argument portrayed from evil. Al Pacino at his best in this "morality thriller" - A must watch

"I only just set the stage, you pull your own string"

Link: http://youtu.be/7DMDscGOUpg

Quotes of Friedrich Nietzsche

“When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory.”

“I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you” 

 “There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.” 

"The most common lie is that which one lies to himself; lying to others is relatively an exception."

"We love life, not because we are used to living but because we are used to loving."

"It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages."

"Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent."

 "The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently."

 "The best weapon against an enemy is another enemy."

 "The demand to be loved is the greatest of all arrogant presumptions."

"Fear is the mother of morality."

"It is the most sensual men who need to flee women and torment their bodies."