Mere aik dur ke chachha the. Hum unhe Shaban Chachha kehte the. Wese intihai be-zarr se aadmi the magar Allah jhut na bulwaye, thore se sust (lazy) bhi the. Saari zindagi idhar udhar choti moti naukrian kerte rahe. Aur agar kubhi karobar main haat daala bhi to woh unki sustravi aur ziyada sote rehne ki adat ki badolt beth gaya…
Akhri baar unho ne ‘north nazimabad’ ke ilaqe main aik choti si bakery kholi. Main jub kubhi us ilaqe se guzarta to abba ki nasihat ke baais unki bakery pe salam kerne ruk jaata. Ab ki baar bhi karobar ka wahi haal tha aur who phir bakery band kerne ka soch rahe the. Pore din main bakery ba-mushkil koi 40-50 rupe ki ‘bikri’ (sale) kerti.
Koi 6/8 mahine baad amma ne bataya ke Shaban chachha ki bakery khub chal pari hai. Mujhe bari hairat hui. Ab ki baar unki bakery gaya to customers ka aik jame gafir tha. Faraq sirf itna tha ke ab bakery chalane main Gulshan chahhi ne unki help kerna shuru ker di thi. Main ne Shaban Chahha se poocha: “aakhir aesa kiya majra huwa ke bakery aik dum se yun chal pari”.
Chachha ne jawab diya: “Tum to jaante ho ke ye saara residential area hai. Ziyada tar gharelu log ya khawateen hi hamari customers hain. Tumhari gulshan chachhi ne logon ki dukh dard ki kahani sunna shuru ker di (I knew her from before, she is a very good listener). Customers ko is bakery se cheezon ke saath dukh dard ka madava bhi milna shuru ho gaya. Phir who aros paros ke logon ke liye kubhi ghar se pakore to kubhi gulab jaman paka ke laane lagiN. Dusri taraf Bakery ki bhi halat durust ki. In sab ke baais peechele 8 mahine main tumhe ye sun ker hairat hogi ke meri roz ki sale 5000 rupe ho gayi hai aur bare dinoN pe to ye 9/10 hazar tuk ho jaati hai”.
Kiya ye sach hoga ke: Women due to their ability of creating 'human touch’ are better sales person than men?
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
Confabulation
Few days ago, while I was traveling in an airplane, I noticed my co-passenger had a traveling magazine which I didn’t have in front pocket of my seat. I asked to have it for few minutes as I am always intrigued with natural lakes of USA. I looked at the relevant article but instead of giving back, I put magazine in my front pocket without realizing that it was not airlines’ but his magazine. He asked for his magazine back and I embarrassedly returned it.
Bachpun main bhi aksar aesa huwa ke, main ne zid pakar li ke ye khilona ya flaN flaN kitab meri hai. Amma ne ya bhai ne samjhaya tub kahin samjh aaya ke ye meri cheez nahi.
Zindagi main bohat si cheezon ke baare main hame ye aehtmal rehta hai ke woh cheez hamari hai magar ziyada tur cheezain bus kuch der ke liye hi hamare paas mustaa’r (on lease) hoti hain. Is aehsas ko – jis main ke ye tameez kerna mushkil ho jaaye – ke kaunsi cheez hamari hai aur kaunsi nahi – ya jis main ‘reality’ aur ‘fantasy’ – khalat malat ho jaaye- ko confabulation kehte hain.
Confabulation is defined as the confusion of imagination with memory.
Khalil Jibran apni kitab “The Prophet” main likhta hai ke asal main aulad bhi hamari nahi hoti. Hamare bachhe hamare nahi, waqt ke bachhe hote hain.
Abhi kuch hi dinon pehle main ne Nazeer Akbarabadi pe aik post likhi thi. Zaalim kiya sach likh gaya hai:
Sab thaT para reh jaawe ga jub laad chalega banjara
Bachpun main bhi aksar aesa huwa ke, main ne zid pakar li ke ye khilona ya flaN flaN kitab meri hai. Amma ne ya bhai ne samjhaya tub kahin samjh aaya ke ye meri cheez nahi.
Zindagi main bohat si cheezon ke baare main hame ye aehtmal rehta hai ke woh cheez hamari hai magar ziyada tur cheezain bus kuch der ke liye hi hamare paas mustaa’r (on lease) hoti hain. Is aehsas ko – jis main ke ye tameez kerna mushkil ho jaaye – ke kaunsi cheez hamari hai aur kaunsi nahi – ya jis main ‘reality’ aur ‘fantasy’ – khalat malat ho jaaye- ko confabulation kehte hain.
Confabulation is defined as the confusion of imagination with memory.
Khalil Jibran apni kitab “The Prophet” main likhta hai ke asal main aulad bhi hamari nahi hoti. Hamare bachhe hamare nahi, waqt ke bachhe hote hain.
Abhi kuch hi dinon pehle main ne Nazeer Akbarabadi pe aik post likhi thi. Zaalim kiya sach likh gaya hai:
Sab thaT para reh jaawe ga jub laad chalega banjara
Monday, October 20, 2008
A quote
"A man could lose all his decency faster than any other thing he possessed: money, health, love"
(From Moazzam Sheikh's short story 'Monsoon Rains', when central character Masud walked to his naukrani basti in pouring rain whom he used as sex slave).
(From Moazzam Sheikh's short story 'Monsoon Rains', when central character Masud walked to his naukrani basti in pouring rain whom he used as sex slave).
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Kaifi Aazmi
What a ghazal from Kaifi Aazmi !
Woh bhi sarahney lagey, arbaab e fun kay baad
Daad e sukhan mili mujhey, tarkay sukhan kay baad
Deewana'waar chaand say aagey nikal gaye
Thehera na dil kahiN bhi, teri anjuman kay baad
HontoN ko see kay dekhiye, puchtaiiye ga aap
Hungamey jaag uThte haiN, aksar ghutan kay baad
Ghurbat ki thandi chaa'oN meiN, yaad aayi uski dhoop
Qadr e watan hui humeiN, tark e watan kay baad
Elaan e haq meiN khatra e daaro rasan to hai
Lekin sawaal yeh hai kay, daaro rasan kay baad?
Woh bhi sarahney lagey, arbaab e fun kay baad
Daad e sukhan mili mujhey, tarkay sukhan kay baad
Deewana'waar chaand say aagey nikal gaye
Thehera na dil kahiN bhi, teri anjuman kay baad
HontoN ko see kay dekhiye, puchtaiiye ga aap
Hungamey jaag uThte haiN, aksar ghutan kay baad
Ghurbat ki thandi chaa'oN meiN, yaad aayi uski dhoop
Qadr e watan hui humeiN, tark e watan kay baad
Elaan e haq meiN khatra e daaro rasan to hai
Lekin sawaal yeh hai kay, daaro rasan kay baad?
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Human emotions - healed or numbed?
A cross-posting of a paragraph from Aisha's recent post. It tells a lot about humans reactions to overwhelming emotions
"A group across from me drink cocktails engaged in casual conversation. Politics, I think until I hear them. A meeting of those with missing family. One lady with a page boy cut and blue jeans talks about her father. He went to Nepal and never returned. The other, a son in Iraq. "Do you think we'll ever know what happened?" Ms. Page asks as she takes a sip. A lady with coke bottle glasses shrugs as she looks at her nails. I'm amazed by how neutral they seem. They could be discussing the weather for all the emotion revealed. Maybe time heals? Maybe it numbs".
You may read whole post here
"A group across from me drink cocktails engaged in casual conversation. Politics, I think until I hear them. A meeting of those with missing family. One lady with a page boy cut and blue jeans talks about her father. He went to Nepal and never returned. The other, a son in Iraq. "Do you think we'll ever know what happened?" Ms. Page asks as she takes a sip. A lady with coke bottle glasses shrugs as she looks at her nails. I'm amazed by how neutral they seem. They could be discussing the weather for all the emotion revealed. Maybe time heals? Maybe it numbs".
You may read whole post here
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Nazeer Akbarabadi
Nazeer Akbarabadi was an unique urdu poet. In 18th century era, when everybody was writing difficult classic urdu, mostly 'ishq related' ghazals, Nazeer wrote for and in simple common man language. In that time period, poetry in small 'bahar' (like of Mir Taqi Mir) were valued but Nazeer wrote in long 'bahar'. First time when I read his "sab thath para reh jawe ga, jub laaad chale ga bangera" in 10th grade, I loved his 'laffazi'. Ye woh umer hoti hai jub lafzon ka khel dil ko bohat bhata hai. Than, there was a point, I thought - what a big deal writing in such long lines? But when I gained more sense of world (did I?), I realized that his "laffazi" and long "bahar" make sense, as it send a strong message of core meaning. I doubt, he ever wanted to be famous. It is said that, 98% of his work was never found.
For any literature/writer/poetry we all go through 3 phases 1) enjoying its obvious flavour 2) criticizing it 3) understanding its core and value
For any literature/writer/poetry we all go through 3 phases 1) enjoying its obvious flavour 2) criticizing it 3) understanding its core and value
Sunday, October 12, 2008
A quote on life
"sometimes there is no such thing as right decision, we have to do what we got to do, as long we accept the responsiblities of the choices and stand by them...it always works"
(From a single working mother of two teenagers)
(From a single working mother of two teenagers)
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Mani ki Kahani
(I am cross-posting few parts from Baraka's recent post with permission. She left me speechless for many minutes in front of computer screen).
"...........Before my cousin Mani committed suicide in May, he was homeless for one period, in jail for another. He was the last person you’d expect either of, with two masters’ degrees from reputable Bay Area universities, a job at Sony, and a devoted wife and adoring son - all the stuff that is supposed to signal success and protect you from becoming one of the unwashed crazies on the street. But when his first mania struck at the age of 32, within weeks he had lost everything. As his mind boiled with fantasies and conspiracies, he spent his savings, lost his job and apartment, and then left his family, reputation, and sense of self-worth behind, never to be recovered. Two years later at the age of 34, after great suffering and consistently refusing to accept his condition or seek treatment, he shot himself in the head while his sick and aging parents slept in the next room............
I locked his memory away without allowing myself to grieve in May, too busy tending to a houseful of distraught women, including his wife, and to a frantic child, his son. Five months later it is still too painful to imagine his agony and isolation before he died, believing that we didn’t love him, that we were all against him. I still have all of his e-mails and the replies I sent him, unbearably harsh now in retrospect, because I didn’t understand that it was the disease speaking for him............His tragic death - and my role in contributing to it - showed me how serious a medical condition bipolar is; how imperative psychotherapy, medications and empathy are; and how deadly the consequences of not informing ourselves of the lethality of the disease proved to be. Lithium is as necessary as prayer.
For the first time since May, I find myself mentioning Mani in detail, here, and to her, because I hope that by speaking of his death, she - and others - might live.........I hope that he knows that I love him. But my mind recoils imagining that he does not know, and at someday having to answer his now five-year-old son when he asks me how and why his father was killed."
Read full post The Slippery Slope
Related previous post: Saving a person
"...........Before my cousin Mani committed suicide in May, he was homeless for one period, in jail for another. He was the last person you’d expect either of, with two masters’ degrees from reputable Bay Area universities, a job at Sony, and a devoted wife and adoring son - all the stuff that is supposed to signal success and protect you from becoming one of the unwashed crazies on the street. But when his first mania struck at the age of 32, within weeks he had lost everything. As his mind boiled with fantasies and conspiracies, he spent his savings, lost his job and apartment, and then left his family, reputation, and sense of self-worth behind, never to be recovered. Two years later at the age of 34, after great suffering and consistently refusing to accept his condition or seek treatment, he shot himself in the head while his sick and aging parents slept in the next room............
I locked his memory away without allowing myself to grieve in May, too busy tending to a houseful of distraught women, including his wife, and to a frantic child, his son. Five months later it is still too painful to imagine his agony and isolation before he died, believing that we didn’t love him, that we were all against him. I still have all of his e-mails and the replies I sent him, unbearably harsh now in retrospect, because I didn’t understand that it was the disease speaking for him............His tragic death - and my role in contributing to it - showed me how serious a medical condition bipolar is; how imperative psychotherapy, medications and empathy are; and how deadly the consequences of not informing ourselves of the lethality of the disease proved to be. Lithium is as necessary as prayer.
For the first time since May, I find myself mentioning Mani in detail, here, and to her, because I hope that by speaking of his death, she - and others - might live.........I hope that he knows that I love him. But my mind recoils imagining that he does not know, and at someday having to answer his now five-year-old son when he asks me how and why his father was killed."
Read full post The Slippery Slope
Related previous post: Saving a person
Friday, October 10, 2008
The Professor
As commented for previous post - cross post from Uncle Saugoree blog
"He was not a university type professor but he was master of Ulum-e-Nujoom wa Qiyafah. He knew my chief and many other chiefs he knew as he had "tiched" them and had a testimonial from all big shots of Pakistan some professors, some High court Judges or Lawyers and such well-known officials and politicians (Pakistan and India- I am talking about 1958 experience).
One day he proceeded to demonstrate his "powers". He gave us a slate on which we wrote something after we had gone into other room and came back to him and to our surprise he was able to write it down exactly what we had written. So what is this "tiching". He would catch hold of a finger, mostly little finger just for a moment and then will tell you about what will happen to the person. This process was called by him as, "tich kerna". I was tiched also (no charge) and most of what he said turned out to be true such as when I would go out (of country) hwereas at that time I had not thought of leaving Pakistan".
Read full post here
"He was not a university type professor but he was master of Ulum-e-Nujoom wa Qiyafah. He knew my chief and many other chiefs he knew as he had "tiched" them and had a testimonial from all big shots of Pakistan some professors, some High court Judges or Lawyers and such well-known officials and politicians (Pakistan and India- I am talking about 1958 experience).
One day he proceeded to demonstrate his "powers". He gave us a slate on which we wrote something after we had gone into other room and came back to him and to our surprise he was able to write it down exactly what we had written. So what is this "tiching". He would catch hold of a finger, mostly little finger just for a moment and then will tell you about what will happen to the person. This process was called by him as, "tich kerna". I was tiched also (no charge) and most of what he said turned out to be true such as when I would go out (of country) hwereas at that time I had not thought of leaving Pakistan".
Read full post here
Monday, October 06, 2008
Kala Jaadu - Syed Ali aur Zubi - 2
Syed Ali aur Zubi ka jo qissa pehle likh gaya hun (here), usi ke parton main ye aik ajeeb saniha hai.
Jesa ke main ne likha tha ke Syed Ali aur Zubi ki shadi ke liye shart ye lag gai ke pehle Syed Ali ki bahen ki shadi ho, jo ke ho ker hi nahi deti thi. Zubi ke andar jalti aag aahista aahista jalan aur phir adawat main tabdeel ho gai. Gurbat, Mohabbat aur dhalti umer ne mil ker 'frustration' itni barha di ke Zubi ne taaweez, gandon, babon, sadqon bulke kaale jadoo tuk ka sahara lena shuru ker diya.
Aik din Zubi ki ma use Karachi ke ilaqe 'teen hatti' pe kisi aamil ke paas le gai jis ne shaadi kerwane ki 'gaaranti' le li. Kuch ajeeb ajeeb amal bataye aur kaha; ye amal parh ke har raat Syed Ali ki bahen ki tasweer pe phoonkh do, tumhara kaam ho jaaye ga. Zubi ko ab in 'totkon' pe koi khas yaqeen to nahi raha tha magar ye soch ker ke kiya jata hai, amal ker diya.
Koi do teen mahine baad ye khabar aai ke Syed Ali ki bahen "Yarqan" (Hepatitis A) ki waba main faut ho gai. Maut bhi aesi ki jism ke har hisse se khun band hi nahi hota tha (coagulopathy due to liver failure).
Jub Zubi ne pehli baar mujhe ye qissa sunaya to rote rote uski hichki bandh gai. Mujh se kehne lagi, maiN ne kubhi aesa nahi chaha tha. Poochne lagi qayamat ke roz mera kiya hoga? Ab is zindagi main is nadani se ho jaane wale gunah ka kaffara kese ada karun? MaiN khud gunahgar.........siwaye tifal tassaliyon ke kiya jawab deta?
Allah hum sab ko is 'shar' (evil) se bachaye!
MaiN jub Amma se milne Canada jata hun aur raat ke peechle pahar, Amma ye samjh ker ke maiN so raha hun, mujh per 'surah falaq' parh ker phoonkti hain aur sir pe haat pehrti hain to pehle mujhe khub hasi aati thi magar ab nahi aati - bulke achha lagta hai !
(Below is a forward from regular mails I get)
Jesa ke main ne likha tha ke Syed Ali aur Zubi ki shadi ke liye shart ye lag gai ke pehle Syed Ali ki bahen ki shadi ho, jo ke ho ker hi nahi deti thi. Zubi ke andar jalti aag aahista aahista jalan aur phir adawat main tabdeel ho gai. Gurbat, Mohabbat aur dhalti umer ne mil ker 'frustration' itni barha di ke Zubi ne taaweez, gandon, babon, sadqon bulke kaale jadoo tuk ka sahara lena shuru ker diya.
Aik din Zubi ki ma use Karachi ke ilaqe 'teen hatti' pe kisi aamil ke paas le gai jis ne shaadi kerwane ki 'gaaranti' le li. Kuch ajeeb ajeeb amal bataye aur kaha; ye amal parh ke har raat Syed Ali ki bahen ki tasweer pe phoonkh do, tumhara kaam ho jaaye ga. Zubi ko ab in 'totkon' pe koi khas yaqeen to nahi raha tha magar ye soch ker ke kiya jata hai, amal ker diya.
Koi do teen mahine baad ye khabar aai ke Syed Ali ki bahen "Yarqan" (Hepatitis A) ki waba main faut ho gai. Maut bhi aesi ki jism ke har hisse se khun band hi nahi hota tha (coagulopathy due to liver failure).
Jub Zubi ne pehli baar mujhe ye qissa sunaya to rote rote uski hichki bandh gai. Mujh se kehne lagi, maiN ne kubhi aesa nahi chaha tha. Poochne lagi qayamat ke roz mera kiya hoga? Ab is zindagi main is nadani se ho jaane wale gunah ka kaffara kese ada karun? MaiN khud gunahgar.........siwaye tifal tassaliyon ke kiya jawab deta?
Allah hum sab ko is 'shar' (evil) se bachaye!
MaiN jub Amma se milne Canada jata hun aur raat ke peechle pahar, Amma ye samjh ker ke maiN so raha hun, mujh per 'surah falaq' parh ker phoonkti hain aur sir pe haat pehrti hain to pehle mujhe khub hasi aati thi magar ab nahi aati - bulke achha lagta hai !
(Below is a forward from regular mails I get)
Sunday, October 05, 2008
Achhi Aulad
Main internet per Eid ke programmes 'browse' ker raha tha ke Pakistani comedian Umer Shariff ka show dekhne beth gaya. Usme usne aik bari achhi baat kahi:
"Duniya main is se bara sadqae jaariya (continuous charity) koi nahi ke aap aik achhi aulad chor jaayain"
"Duniya main is se bara sadqae jaariya (continuous charity) koi nahi ke aap aik achhi aulad chor jaayain"
Saturday, October 04, 2008
A quote
I think, following quote best describe parents and kids relationship. (anybody knows author?)
"To the world you might be one person,
but to one person you just might be the world".
"To the world you might be one person,
but to one person you just might be the world".
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
Tumhe mere Allah ne bheja hai
(written on Eid day)
Zaroori to nahi ke Zindagi main insaan ko har kisi ki baat ka yaqeen aa jaaye magar phir bhi aksar kuch baatain dil main reh jaati hai.
Pakistan ki aik trip ke dauraN mujhe ye khayal aaya ke aaj bus se safar kerna chahiye. Karachi main ‘prince cinema’ se zara aage ‘tibet center’ ka bus stop hai. Jumme ka din tha aur dophar ka waqt huwa hoga. Main bus ke intazar main khara ho gaya magar bus thi ke aakar hi nahi deti thi. Mere sabar ka paimana labrez huwa aur main ne aas paas nazar doraii to aik khali rikshaw khara nazar aaya magar us khali rickshaw ka driver nazar nahi aaya. Main ne wahan khare aik shaks se poocha: ‘is rickshaw ka driver kahan hai?’ to usne door khare aik bachhe ko awaz di: ‘Munne jao chacha se kaho, sawari aai hai’. Munna saamne dukan pe bethe aik chache ko bula laya. Chache ne mujh se kaha: ‘Aap to kub se wahan bus stop pe khare the, kiya irada badal diya?’. Mai ne jawab diya: ‘Bus chacha! Dhoop se behaal ho raha hun’. Chacha ji ke chehre pe aik muskurahat aai aur bole:
“Mere Allah hi ne tumhare dil main ye khayal dala ke aaj bus ka safar karo, phir tumhe dhoop se behaal kiya aur mere rickshaw ke paas bheja. Aaj mera kaam kafi thandda tha aur main soch raha tha ke – aaj ka kharch kese poora hoga? Kiya mujhe aaj phir mithaii wale ka aata goondhna pare ga? Magar mere Allah ne tumhe mera rizq bana ker bhej diya. Tumhe mere Allah ne bheja hai”
Mujhe unki baat ka yaqeen to na aaya magar main ne sir hila diya. Chachaji to bari asani se eeqan ki rassi thame apni mushkil se guzar rahe hain. Sochta hun, bure waqt main hum jese munkir, iman ki woh taqat kahan se laayain ge !!
Zaroori to nahi ke Zindagi main insaan ko har kisi ki baat ka yaqeen aa jaaye magar phir bhi aksar kuch baatain dil main reh jaati hai.
Pakistan ki aik trip ke dauraN mujhe ye khayal aaya ke aaj bus se safar kerna chahiye. Karachi main ‘prince cinema’ se zara aage ‘tibet center’ ka bus stop hai. Jumme ka din tha aur dophar ka waqt huwa hoga. Main bus ke intazar main khara ho gaya magar bus thi ke aakar hi nahi deti thi. Mere sabar ka paimana labrez huwa aur main ne aas paas nazar doraii to aik khali rikshaw khara nazar aaya magar us khali rickshaw ka driver nazar nahi aaya. Main ne wahan khare aik shaks se poocha: ‘is rickshaw ka driver kahan hai?’ to usne door khare aik bachhe ko awaz di: ‘Munne jao chacha se kaho, sawari aai hai’. Munna saamne dukan pe bethe aik chache ko bula laya. Chache ne mujh se kaha: ‘Aap to kub se wahan bus stop pe khare the, kiya irada badal diya?’. Mai ne jawab diya: ‘Bus chacha! Dhoop se behaal ho raha hun’. Chacha ji ke chehre pe aik muskurahat aai aur bole:
“Mere Allah hi ne tumhare dil main ye khayal dala ke aaj bus ka safar karo, phir tumhe dhoop se behaal kiya aur mere rickshaw ke paas bheja. Aaj mera kaam kafi thandda tha aur main soch raha tha ke – aaj ka kharch kese poora hoga? Kiya mujhe aaj phir mithaii wale ka aata goondhna pare ga? Magar mere Allah ne tumhe mera rizq bana ker bhej diya. Tumhe mere Allah ne bheja hai”
Mujhe unki baat ka yaqeen to na aaya magar main ne sir hila diya. Chachaji to bari asani se eeqan ki rassi thame apni mushkil se guzar rahe hain. Sochta hun, bure waqt main hum jese munkir, iman ki woh taqat kahan se laayain ge !!
Peechle eid ki posts: Bhoot and Eid in west
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