Silsila

Jab main USA main residency dhoondh raha tha - aik waqt aesa aaya ke mujhe dostoN se udhar lene paR gaye. Aik dost ne 300 dollars diye. 

Main ne kaha: "Residency milte hi lauta dun ga".
Us ne kaha: "Jis ke hain us ko de dena"
Main ne kaha: "Kiya matlab? ye paise tumhare nahi? to phir kis ke hain?"

Us ne zor ka qehqaha lagaya aur kaha: "Pata nahi aage kis ke hain".
Main ne kaha: "Yaar pehli na bujhao. Seedhi tarah batao".

Us ne kaha: "Bhai! main jab USA aaya to kisi se qarz liya tha. Us ne kaha tha. Aage lauta dena, matlab jab kisi ko zaroorat ho to aage help ker dena. Tum bhi yahi kerna. Jab residency mil jaaye to aage kisi aur ko ye 300 dollars de dena."

Ye baat mujhe hamesha yaad rahi. Mera jawab bhi aksar yahi hota hai: "Aage lauta dena"!

Beyond 'Cheeni Kum' - 2

(When a blog is written over the years, it is interesting that many stories come back to haunt. About 3-4 years ago, I blogged an account of my one classmate from the UK who married a man 30 years older. Last week, I was in London and learned the second part of her ordeal. You may read the previous post here ).

"2 weeks ago, he died!

And now I realize how rude and nasty my attitude was to him as he struggled to keep himself together. Looking back, I fall in love with him as he was a remarkably accomplished and handsome man - a deadly combination. He was an extraordinarily literate and an educated man. I fall for his intelligence. But we lived two generations apart.

A woman's tragedy is that she wants a mature man like her father but boyish like her brother. And, if she cannot soothe her two poles apart from extreme desires - she suffers a lifelong agony. Trust me, doc! Most women suffer this agony. Some women are just good at hiding it - and some cheat - and some are good at manipulating mens' around. And, I cried in my bedroom. I wish the law prohibits older men from marrying a younger woman - for their own sake!

Now, as he is gone - and I go over his colossal collection of books, his records and fondness of classical Indian music and his writings, letters of his students, plaques, accolades, awards, and awards - I am afraid to think that I expedite his death. A man needs a woman to take care of him from childhood to old age, and she puts price tags on it for her desires. I was so veiled by my desires that I failed him. I was not even home when he died that evening. My soul shudders even to think that he died helplessly. We don't even know what killed him? a low blood sugar or a heart attack.

 Doc! A woman is a complicated creature, and even the most intelligent ones - like him - cannot vibrate with her. A woman with intense emotions is the most lethal one. I advise you to have a relatively simple one!"

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Bystander Effect

I was preparing for FLEX (Federal Licensing Exam) during my residency. In the library, I found other residents preparing for the same exam. We used to go to nearby 'Seattle's Best Coffee" to take our break from tedious medical subjects. We had one brilliant resident from Argentina, full of nationalism and Argentinian pride. I admired his strong association with his culture and country.

One day, we were discussing the best definition of "humanity." We all had our ideas. My Argentinian friend had the most unique definition. He said: "If you can defy the bystander effect and jump to the gun to help another human being, you have a humanitarian trait. Delay due to bystander effect takes away the soul of humanity".

We all looked at his face with the same question: "What is the bystander effect?"

He explained: "When a person, group, community or a whole country is in crisis, and you delay to initiate your part of help - in the hope/anticipation that someone else will do it - you are having a bystander effect."

It is now almost 20 years since the above conversation. Today, when I read newspapers and learn about the miseries of people worldwide every day, I question myself - Am I in bystander effect? - What is my responsibility irrespective of what others do?

Not an easy world to live in unless you have a callous apathy toward others.

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Boondi ke laddu

"Tumhari mithai agar gulab jamun hai, to meri boondi ke laddu".

"Boondi ke laddu - naaaa!!  - Boondi ke laddu? seriously?"

" Bhai! hum lyallpur main rehte the. Mere abbu aik mill mazdoor the. Har mahine ki pehli taarikh ko jab abbu ko paise milte to woh aate hue boondi ke laddu le aate. BarsoN ye silsila chalta raha. Hamari zindagioN main boondi ke laddu aur pehli taarikh lazim-o-malzoom ho gaye.

.........Mere liye boondi ke laddu sirf laddu nahi, bulke aik poora maazi hai, khubsurat rishte naatoN ka aur  piyar ka aik silsila hai, baap ki shafqat ki akkasi  hai.

.......Kisi bhi insaan ki aik aam si aadat ke peeche barsoN ka yaadoN ka rela chupa hota hai. 

Doctor! tum itni jaldi judgemental na ho jaaya karo!"

On Bhagavad Gita and Sufism

Received the following email on one of our previous posts On sufism  (here)

"Aap ka blog kabhi kabhi parhta hun. I am not very religious and like to read about various religions. Ultimately, they all have the same messages and, indeed, the same message of divine light. When I read your post on Sufism, I recalled our Hindu religion's sacred book 'Bhagavad Gita,' which is a chronicle of teaching, conversation, and spiritual experiences of Arjun and his master lord Krishna. He slowly learns to connect our worldly affairs with divinity and elevate his soul via various meditations and yogas like karma-yoga and dhyana-yoga. 

Bhagavad Gita is divided into eighteen chapters, and the eleventh chapter is dedicated to Arjun's experience of divine light, which you described as happening in 'nanoseconds.'

And the final chapter may shock you as it asks for total submission to the divine. I found the same message in Islam, to submit to the will of God. I think sajda in all prayers of Islam attest to the same philosophy, And as much as I have read, the whole of Sufism revolves around submission (correct me if I am wrong).

Keep writing.

A****"

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