Faiz on Prison, Burqa and Confinement

I see this now applied to whole Pakistan's present day society.

".....I think I have written before that prison life does accentuate petty selfishness. I have never understood that psychology of purdah women as well as I do now. It is the normal psychology of a prisoner. I understand the pettinesses, the preoccupation with small grievances that seem to occupy the whole universe, the oblivion to larger impersonal issues, the selfishness and the self-pity, the spitefulness and the temper, the silliness and the servility, spells of paralysis and feverish activity - all this is the usual concomitant of suppressed and confined living and not very easy for free people to understand......"

(In a letter -dated March 7, 1952 - to his wife during his prison of famous 'Rawalpindi sazish case' published  in Pakistan recently by his daughter Salima Hashmi. You can read full letter here)

Ifti!

(Few days ago Pakistani poet Iftikhar Naseem passed away. I heard this news while away from town. It took a while to absorb his death).

Ifti se meri pehli mulaqat Chicago ki 'clark street' ke aik restaurant main ittafaqan hui. Main Pakistan se naya naya  wareed huwa tha aur Chicago main residency ker raha tha. Aik din main yunhi 'Lincoln park' aur 'Clark Street' pe gasht ker raha tha. America ka 'euphoria' tha magar jeb main paise nahi the! Main aik resturant ke bahir khare ho ker yunhi menu parh raha tha ke mujhe andar se kisi desi shaks ne ishara ker ke andar aane ko kaha. Ye Ifti tha!

Ifti ne yunhi rasman do char baataiN ki aur phir aik dum se poocha: 'Peeche kis kis ko chor aaye ho?' Main ne jawab diya: 'Amma Abba ko'. Ifti ne wahiN napkin pe aik sher likh diya

Taaq per juzdan main lipti DuaiN reh Gain
chal diye bete safar per, ghar main MaaiN reh gain

Ye to mujeh barsoN baad pata laga ke ye khud Ifti ka sher tha. Ab bhi Ifti ki likhai mere saamne dhari hai. Main jub tuk Chicago main raha, Ifti ke naye naye chehre saamne aate gaye. Ifti ailania 'Gay' tha. Kai log Ifti se meri dosti ka sunte to mujeh kehte kiun badnaami kerwate ho magar Ifti ne mujeh kubhi kisi tarah se kahin bhi 'seduce' kerne ki koi koshish nahi ki.

Ifti ke hawale se meri zindagi main kai haseen yaadaiN hain. Ifti ke hawale se hi meri Kaifi Aazmi, Shabana Aazmi, Jawed Akthar aur kai aur logon  se mulaqat hui. Woh raat main kese bhool sakta hun jun hum ne Michigan lake pe waqye Ifti ke Condo pe Ahmad Faraz se unhi ki zabani kai nazmain ghazalaiN suni. Faraz sahab bhi us din saroor main the. Raat gaaye ye silsila chalta raha. Us pe Ifti ke latife! Ajeeb hans mukh aadmi tha bulke saala poora comedian tha. Apne hi latifoN per apni tond hila hila ke sab se ziyada hasta! Zindagi ka kitna hi gambhir masala ho, ifti ko us main mizah ka pehlu dikh jata. Bala ka hazir jawab tha. (Read Dr. Azra Raza's article on him "Mr. Wrong"!).

Magar Ifti dil ka bara naram tha. Jub uske ghar jao koi naya aadmi sir chupaye betha hai aur Ifti us ke liye kaam dhundh raha hai. Ifti ne aik billi paal rakhi thi. Mujeh billioN se dar lagta tha. Main uske haan jata to Ifti billi ko apne paas hi rakhta. Ifti shuru se hi 'bagi' tha. Pakistan chorne se pehle us ne ayub khan ke khilaf chalne wali tehreek main goli khai, jail gaya. Allah! jaane kitne logon ko is baat ka ilm hai. Isi 'bagawat' ke confusion main woh 'Gay' bun gaya! Hum use koi bhi naam dain magar woh khud ko 'juggler' kehta! ke raat din ko balance kerne main hi mera waqt kut jaata hai.

Ifti se meri do dafa laraii hui. Pehli baar Shaifqur-Rehman ke hawale se kahin koi baat ho rahi thi. Ifti ne kaha woh Urdu ke sab se bare 'satirist' hain. Main ne kaha main nahi maanta. Mere khayal main Shafiqur Rehman ne mizah zaroor likha magar bunyaadi tor pe woh aik rumanwi likhari the. Ifti ko bara bura laga. Dusri baar, kahin koi punjabi mushaira ho raha tha. Main ne ifti se kaha, Pakistan ke jo halat hain wahan aik Urdu ghazal bhi parh do. Ifti biphar gaya. Kehne laga kisi ko punjabi se takleef hai to apne paas rakhe.

Ifti se mujeh do shikayataiN hain. Aik to ye ke us ne bohat ziyada likha! Jo uske zahan main aata kagaz pe likh deta aur chaap bhi deta. Is se kai jagah bharti ka saman jamah ho gaya. Dusri ye ke us ne  shayeri pe to khub dhiyan diya magar uska kamal afsana-nigari tha. JinhoN ne us ki 'short stories' parhi hain woh jaante hain ke Ifti kis qadar kamal ka afsana-nigar tha. magar saari duniya use shayeri ke hawale se jaanti hai. Aik baar main ne Ifti ko apne do afsane "Hasbe-Aarzoo" aur "Jinu Abraham" diye. Usne zaban theek ker ke kaha lao chaap dun! Main ne kaha nahi bhai mujeh nahi chapwane - ye sirf apni 'psychotherapy' ke liye likhe hain. Kehne laga mujeh de do. Barson uske paas pare rahe magar meri baat ka lihaz kerte huwe na chaape.

Hassas aadmi tha is liye 'brain hemorrhage' se mar gaya! Baqol Ghalib

Haq Magfirat kare, ajab azad mard tha!


You can hear above post below

Resham Apa

Resham Apa se main koi 20 baras baad mila. Ab to unki umar 65 ke lagh bagh ho chali ho gi. Hamilton (Toronto) main kisi ghar main aaya (maid/nanny) ka kaam kerti hain.

Resham Apa ki kahani na to koi afsana nigar likhe ga - aur na hi kisi ko us se dilchaspi ho gi -  magar dukh ki aik kasak kahin hawaoN maiN terti rahe gi.

Resham apa jawani se hi bari khubsurat thi. Mohallae ke larkoN se tang aa ker un ke amma abba ne 16 baras ki umar main hi biha diya. Shadi ke baad aik baad ooper neeche 5 bachhe paida ho gaye. 1971 ki jang main balwaioN (miscreants) ne unke shohar ko maar diya. Luti lutai Resham apa Karachi aain. RishtedaroN ne thori bohat madad ker ke - landhi ya korangi ke ilaqe main aik chota sa makan kiraye pe kerwa diya. Resham apa ne gharoN main maasi ka kaam kerna shuru ker diya. Bachhe sarkari school jaane lage!

Resham apa jawan thiN, khubsurat thin aur akeli thin. Jis ghar pe woh khana pakati thiN wahan ki maalkan ke beta un pe aashiq ho gaya. Usne Resham apa ko bachhe chor ke bhagne ki targeeb di. Resham apa uske behkawe main aa gain. Lurke ne dono ka passport banwaya, America ka visa lagwaya (was easy in 70s). Aik raat unhoN ne bachhoN ko bhai ke ghar chora aur lurke ke saath airport nikal gain. ......Magar airport paunchi to bachhon ki shaqlaiN saamne aa gain aur woh airport se wapas laut aain. ......

Resham apa ne  maasi ka kaam phir se shuru ker diya aur Zindagi ka phayya ghumta raha. Resham Apa ki tarah un ki 3 betiaN bhi khubsurat thiN. Achhi jagah biha gain. Aik lurka accident main faut ho gaya. Dusre lurke ne MBA ker liya aur Canada aa gaya. Usne apni ma ko sponsor ker ke Canada bula liya magar shaadi ke baad bahu ne saas ko ghar main rakhne se inkaar ker diya. Suna he beta Vancouver chala gaya hai aur ab Maa se la-taaluq hai.

Reshma apa ne masi bun ke 5 bachhe bare kiye, zindagi guzari, apni khawishoN ka gala ghota - magar ab bhi maasi ka kaam ker rahi hain. Main un se mila to mera beta mere saath tha. Use dekh ke unki aankhoN main aansu aa gaye. Shayed unhe apna beta yaad aa gaya.......Us aik aansu ki bund main 65 baras ka dukh dhalak gaya...

Main ne aap se kaha tha na ke: Resham Apa ki kahani na to koi afsana nigar likhe ga - aur na hi kisi ko us se dilchaspi ho gi - magar dukh ki aik kasak kahin hawaoN maiN terti rahe gi.

EI and Ethics!

In last 15 years one term became very popular called "Emotional Intelligence" (EI). I believe I have talked about it before on this blog here. Personally, I was shocked when few years ago I was tested during my interview at one of the huge health care chain.

Couple of weeks ago while in travel I picked one magazine and encountered an interesting article. Author was an Ottawa based freelance journalist Jennifer Campbell. She argued about the dark side of EI with references of some credible studies. Allegedly people with high EI can be very manipulative and can harm or use people around to fulfill their own needs and gain benefits. Keeping ethics aside, they are worried only about their social climb. In nutshell, people with EI are only valuable if they come with values of honesty, loyalty and trustworthiness.

(I tried but was unable to find electronic version of her article but here is similar article click).

Past!

During my move 2 years ago, I lost my few precious diaries which counted golden years of my medical school and later residency. It made me upset but than I recalled Mirza Ghalib. Large part of his work was destroyed during 1857 war. When his publisher told him about this, rather than getting upset he replied: "Galat-kaariaN jal gai jawani ki, Acha hi huwa. Bhool jao Meer sahab"!

Duboya mujh ko hone ne, na hota main to kiya hota

A Quote!

‎"I don't want to believe, I want to know". - Carl Sagan

10 tips from a dying man!

Khushwant Singh is known to every person who has a little bit of interest in Urdu literature. He is almost 96 years old. One of his articles has become very popular where he parted 10 pearls of wisdom about how to live (and die) worthily and pragmatically.

Read his full article https://meditativemind.org/how-to-live-die-by-late-khushwant-singh/

*

Soul and body

And it amazed me the most when a 25 year old asked me this question:

"Sir! What you think? Its a soul which get designate first to get born and awarded a partciular race, gender and body or is it after an ovum concepts a sperm and later soul is awarded to it?"

I doubt anybody knows the real answer but the level of curiosity at this age was 'hairankun".

And while he was dying...

Kuch mohbattain insaan ki khud apni maut se bhi bari hoti hain


'Please check on my son. My son was up there by himself.'

Read the true full incident   here

Life is a B****

Overheard in Walmart (in Urdu): "Beta! School khulne ka waqt aane do hum sab kuch khareedain ge. Abhi ammi abbu ke paas bilkul bhi paise nahi hain".  - It hurts!

Thoughts on cupped hands

Aisha is probably one of the oldest and certainly the 'finest' blog writer in desi blog world. Its very easy to blog pictures, uselessinfo.com, political opinions, videos, summer trips etc. but to write a meaningful, balanced, smooth and flawless post is another thing. She sits at top of my blog roll. As this blog is all about 'Zindagi", here is one of her recent post which I enjoyed thoroughly. On side note, she is one of the most voracious reader I ever know - which explains a lot!

It's a silly story but true. In fifth grade walking to school I thought about prayer and faith and felt slightly doubtful. God, I prayed as I walked, if you exist, for real-you will make my teacher absent for a whole week. I felt fairly confident this would not happen as my teacher reminded us at every opportunity about her perfect attendance record, how she had only taken two days off in ten years. I went to class, sat at my desk, and then, my teacher cleared her throat and told us she was taking the next week off. She told us why but I don't remember the reasons, I just remember sitting at my desk, my mouth parted in shock as everyone high fived and grinned at one another. A miracle, I thought. God, you really answered my prayer. Yes, it sounds silly, but for so many years that moment buoyed me when the waters were rocky, did my prayer cause it? Did I get inspired to pray for a thing that would happen anyways? I didn't know but the fact that it happened before my eyes gave me certainty in a being greater than us, and of prayers, that they are answered. I loved the feeling of inner peace and certainty I had- someone was listening, someone was answering, a big warm hug from above."

You can read full post here

"I AM"

"I AM" is a new Indian movie which is completely off beat. Certainly this is not a movie you can watch with family (due to profanity and mature theme involved) but it makes a lot of sense.

"I AM" is actually a collection of 4 characters who behaved or appeared completely out of whack for the society but that's what movie is all about - to explain that - there are always reasons for people to behave "weird"! We get judgemental very quickly without knowing people's life and background. Director was smart to show us that even these 4 characters were judgemental about each other without realizing that how weird they appear to others.

1. Afia (Nandita Das) wants to get her "own baby" and goes to sperm bank. Later we realizes that she wanted it normally via normal marriage but her husband leaves her for other woman leaving her completely shattered!

2. Megha (Juhi Chawla) hells from Kashmir but is a strong women and full of venom against Kashmiri Muslims. Later we learn that actually she is reacting against her family's forced evacuation and assassination. She tries to bury softness of her heart but her heart never gives up to the plight of local Muslims there despite so muchof her own sufferings.

3. Abhimanyu is an extremely manipulative guy who equally manipulate men and women for his own sake. He is a slick talker and an A**H***. But at the end of his story we feel like hugging him after knowing that how he was sexually abused by his step father all along, changing his personality for ever!

4. Omar (Rahul Bose) is a completely unconfidant spineless gay man who is trying to hide his weak personality by growing moustache! His story is the most shocking and really ends movie in climax. Director was able to shock the viewer up to bone. Omar, just few months ago, despite been gay, was a playful, confident and outgoing successful professional who gets trapped into a scam by corrupt police and forcibly robbed not of money but as well of his dignity!

Message is - Don't be judgemental.

Firaun aur Hum!

Saari duniya firaun (pharaoh) ko bura kehti hai magar main nahi kehta!

Firaun poora din khudaii ka dawa ker ke raat apne Allah ke huzur hazir hota, girgira ke muaafi maangta aur naadim ho ker so jaata.

Hum to aur bhi gaye guzre hain...Subah Allah ka naam le ker uthte hain, din bhar khudaii ke fa'el (acts) kerte hain aur raat apne zameer pe koi bhi bojh mehsoos kiye bagair khawabe-khargosh main kho jaate hain!

Mystery of Lucky Penny

I believe in fortune cookie. My daughter strongly believe in lucky Penny. She make sure I keep her given lucky penny. I found it strange that you seldom find dime, nickle or quarter but you will frequently find penny at unusual places at unusual times. I am sure people don't throw them for purpose. Explain this to me.

Tsunami

Is blog pe "Dreams" (khawab) pe kai post hain. You can call it my own psychotherapy. Urdu ke aik bare adeeb 'Mumtaz Mufti' apne bistar ke sarhane kitab pencil rakha kerte the aur apne saare khawab - is se pehle ke bhool jaayain - likh liya kerte the. Unka kehna tha: "Khawab kuch batain na batain, kam az kam andar ki zaat ka pata to dete hain". 


Kuch khawab is qadar 'personal' aur 'intense' hain ke bayan nahi kiye jaa sakte (aur kerne bhi nahi chahiye) - magar dusre kuch khawab yahan blog pr naqal ker leta hun. 'Interestingly' kuch khawab (jo us waqt to samjh na aaye magar) aage chal ker zindagi ke waaqiyat ka waze ishara ya tambih (warning) sabit huwe. Aese hi aik khawab ki roodad likhta hun.


Main kisi 'school' ya kisi 'community activity' ka aik 'teacher' hun. Hum sab kuch bachhon ko aik darya kinare picnic manane le jaate hain. Wahan har 'teacher' ko bachoon ka aik aik 'group' milta hai. Mere 'group' main chaar bachhe hain jin ki shaqlain to mujhe waze tor per yaad hain magar meri asal zindagi se unka koi taaluq nahi. Hum sab saahil kinare aik dari (carpet) daal ke beth jaate hain. Us roz bachhe apne saath aik aik khilona le ker aaye hain. Main bachho se kehta hun ke aaj sab aik dusre ka khilona adal badal kar khelain ge - taake zindagi 'share' ker ke guzarne ka sabaq haasil ho... Aas paas dusre groups apni 'activities' main masroof hain................


.........Aur phir meri nazar aasman ki taraf utthti hai to 300/400 feet unchi aik 'Tsunami' wave saamne nazar aati hai. Is se pehle ke main sab ko khabardar kerta - woh laher hum per aa guzarti hai. Main aik 'pipe' ko pakrta hun. paani mujh pe guzar raha hai. main paani se bachnne ke liye saans rokta hun. Mujeh bachhoN ka bhi khayal aa raha hai. Us guzarte azab ka aik aik lamha mujhe mehsoos hota hai. Saans rokne se mera dum ghoot raha hai ......


..........aur phir us dum ghutne ke aehsaas se meri aankh khul jaati hai.

Aik qayamat hui bedaar, khuda kher kare

Haram ki kamaii!

It is said that vulture is one of the most intelligent bird since birth but her genes have been designed to feed only corpses (as a measure to keep ecosystem healthy by all mighty). Despite its all intelligence he cant get away from his induced nature.

Similarly I found that all creatures and particularly humans have some innate nature, induced deep down in their DNA - which never changed despite their level of knowledge, social status or environment. The right word is called "khaslat" in Urdu. In this regard I always recall Qudratullah Shahab's "Shahab-nama" in which he describes the darknesses of contemporary international political leaders.

As Ataul Haq Qasmi once brilliantly said: "Tumhare bachhe bare aadmi bane na bane - magar bus ye koshish zaroor karo ke woh achhe aadmi banaiN".

Bare hone main aur achhe hone main aik umar ka fasla hai. Mera ye Iman hai ke agar aap haram ki kamaii khate ho to aap ki aulad ki genes bhi haram ki ho jaati hai.

I strongly advise my friends and students to read 'Raja Gidh' from Banu Qudsia.

Salute to Dollywood!

As summer vacation kicked in, last weekend I took my kids to theme park in Tennessee named Dollywood. Its a pretty descent park with good rides. But what really impressed me at this park - which was different from all other national theme parks was - most of their employees were senior citizens. Park was running as efficiently as any other theme park. Rather they were more courteous to people than many young people at other theme parks. (and I have been to plenty of theme parks in USA).

I always bragged to friends about respect and care for elderly people in our eastern culture but over time I am seeing reverse phenomenon. My hats off to this thought from Dollywood to keep senior citizens in work force (if they want to), providing self respect, self esteem and be productive members of society. It was worth mentioning - at least for me. 

Ranj Se khugar huwa insaaN....

Few time ago, I was at Lake Lure in North Carolina. It is an interesting and a very beautiful place. While boating at lake our guide told us few interesting things like it is 'cross' shaped and there is a church and cemetery buried below the lake and local people said to hear church bells at night etc. but another interesting thing is that lake is only one and half feet for a while from beach/shore but later suddenly first dropped to 55 feet and than to 135 feet. He said: 'It scares people as we go further towards the middle of lake but I fail to understand as there is no difference after you are drowned more than 10 feet"!

So true! It reminded me of Mirza Ghalib: Mushkilain mujh per pari itni ke asaN ho gain.

All mighty has created human or rather all creatures' mind and soul unique in the sense that after a while pain and suffering gets plateau - or may be even bell-shapped. It has no linear relationship afterwards.

The Great Gatsby

It took me a while to absorb the beauty of F. Scott Fitzgerald's "The Great Gatsby" - and to understand that why it became a milestone novel in American literature. (It took Americans themselves many years to appreciate this work after his death). While I was finishing last pages of novel - tears floated in my eyes and I had to close the book to understand the emotional life and psych of its central character Gatsby. What amaze me more than anything is that he wrote this legendary novel at the tender age of only 29. He died at age of 44. No wonder many very sensitive and good people die early like Nasir Kazmi, Parveen Shakeer, Mustafa Zaidi and others.

There is so much written about this novel (you can google), I will just write my perspective shortly in Urdu as I felt this story is not based in America of 1925 but its a tale of India or Pakistan in year 2011.

'Gatsby' aik aesa kirdar hai - jise duniya ne kuch nahi diya magar usne sirf mohabbatain hi baanti. Ye kahani hamare ikhlaqi iqdaar ke us zawal ki hai- jisme aik saada dil shkas jeeta hai. 'Gatsby' zindagi ko bagair kisi muzahayemat (resistence) ke wese hi accept ker leta hai jese woh use milti hai - magar woh phir bhi halat ko behtar banane ki koshish kerta hai. Us ka dil mohabbat se pur hai. Woh badalti duniya ke saath chalne ki koshish kerta hai - magar uske chaaroN taraf daulat, anaa, be-wafaai, jhoot, aur munafiqat ki kaali chadar hai. Us main aurat se mohabbat kerne ka jazba to hai magar aurat ki be-wafaai ko samjhne ki 'chip' hi nahi. Use to dhang se jhoot bolna bhi nahi aata. Woh yunhi logon pe bharosa ker leta hai.

Gatsby un logon ka kirdar hai - jo hamare aas paas baste hain - hamari aankhon ke saamne - magar hamare 'blind spots' unhe dekh nahi paate. F. Scott Fitzgerald ka kamal yahi hai ke woh jhoot aur fareb ki dhund main - hame sache, meethe aur piyare logon ka chehra dikhata hai!

Achha writer novel ke shuru aur aakhir main poora 'theme' kuch lafzon main samo deta hai. I will put those 2 quotes:

"In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since. 'Whenever you feel like criticizing any one,' he told me, 'just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had.'..

"...They were careless people, Tom and Daisy — they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness, or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made. . . ."

You can read novel : https://www.planetebook.com/free-ebooks/the-great-gatsby.pdf

Ma ki Bad-Dua?

Posted as described

(Episode 1)

Us ne mujh se ye kaha...

"How can that even happen? I had no reason to lost my case. It was 'my hard earned' money. It was at least $ 300,000 and if you count legal interest on it, its about half million dollars. Even their attorney was sure, they will lost but jury went against and we lost. I could have paid my son's college. Its very depressing to see my own hard earned money to whisk away in front of me. I had best lawyers' firm in town and even its hard for them to comprehend why we lost..."

(Episode 2)

"Mujeh to yun lagta hai bete aur bahu pe bojh hun. Yahan 'basement' main pari rehti hun. Yahin pe kitchen, bathroom aur bistar hai. Din main aik dafa bhi ooper chali jaun to bahu ke tewar badal jaate hain. Abhi woh saare 'Disney' ghum aaye. Main 'maid' ke sahare pari rahi. Mujeh kaunsa 'Disney' jana tha magar main ne bete se kaha:-

"Neeche microwave kharab ho gaya hai. Naya lagwa do. Khana garam kerna parta hai".

Us ne jhirak ke mana ker diya: "amma aap ko microwave kiya kerna hai. Yunhi kha liya karain".

Yaqeen karo! gori naukrani apne ghar se purana microwave le aayi mere liye.

Main khud apni nazron main gir gai ke $100 ke microwave ke liye yun bete ke aage girgirana para.

Bus dua kerti hun jald mere Allah ka bulawa aa jaye".