Two contrasting views on work ethics

When we were growing up back home as well as while in residency here, it was strongly infused in us that loyalty to your work place is a remarkable work value. We were taught to grow up with institution, develop deep roots at work place, and it would be ideal to stay life long at one work place/institution.

But as lot of things are changing around us - as bookstores shutting down and e-books are taking their place, cabs have been taken over by an app (uber), hotels are threatened by Airbnb, and several other examples - I have seen a shift in work ethics and human behaviors too.

In the beginning I was taken aback, but I guess, I am accepting it as another opinion rather than an unethical value. Particularly, since tech industry has become main stream, staying at workplace for many many years is not seen as a virtue, rather a weakness. If you are staying more than 4/5 years at one company, you are a dinosaur who can't evolve! If you have worked in three companies over 7/8 years, you may be more valuable as you know how to cash your worth as well as your ability to work in changing/different environments. Company may see you as an adaptable and a courageous 'employee' (just another employee! Ha!!). You may be seen as a person who knows how to negotiate.

Don't feel shocked. I did! but I learned: Right or wrong - this is the reality of today's corporate world.

Pareshani, Beech raat aur Dua

Zindagi ke aik muqaam per main bohat pareshan tha. Ye meri har 'teenager' ki tarah confusion ke din the.

Aik din dadi ne poocha: "Beta! dekhti hun, tum aaj kal bohat pareshan rehte ho. Sab theek hai?"

Main ne kha: "Dadi! baRi pareshani hai, aadhi aadhi raat ko aankh khul jaati hai. Kiya karun?"

Dadi jahandida thiN. Unhon ne ye nahi poocha ke kiya pareshani hai, bulke kaha: "Dekho beta! agar pareshani se aadhi raat ke beech aankh khul jaaye to beshak pareshani sadiq hai. Aese main apne dil main dua maango -  qarar bhi aa jaaye ga - aur woh zaroor qabool bhi ho gi"

Dadi ka diya nuskha ba-asar tha. Beshak aadhi raat ko pareshani se aank khuli to - us halat main maangi dua se dil ko qarar aa gaya - aur shayed woh qabool bhi hui.

Ab umar ka aik hissa guzarne ke baad bhi koi aesi pareshani la-haq ho - jis pe mera iktiyaar na ho - aur raat ke peechle pahr meri aankh khul jaaye  - to dil main maangi dua se qarar sa aa jaata hai - aur shayed woh qabool bhi ho jaati hai

 - pata nahi ye us lamhe utarti comos waves ka karishma hai - ya dukhte,sachhe dil ki vibration!!

A Urdu writeup

From Shamshi Zia

وہ جب جب ملنے آتی تھی۔۔۔۔

کچھ نہ کچھ بھول کے جاتی تھی۔۔۔۔

میرا کمرا بھرا پڑا اسکی چھوٹی چھوٹی چیزوں سے۔۔۔۔::

یہ ہیئر پنز، بال بندھے تو سزا لگتا تھا اسے۔۔۔۔۔۔۔

یہ انگوٹھی، میں نے کہا تھا کہ۔۔۔۔۔

کیسی بھدی سی ہے، تو یہیں رکھ چھوڑی۔۔۔۔۔۔۔

یہ اوپر سے چبائی پنسل، بھوکی کہیں کی۔۔۔۔۔۔

یہ چھوٹی سی نوٹ بک، بڑے بڑے خواب لکھتی تھی اس میں۔۔۔۔۔۔

یہ ٹوٹی ہوئی چوڑیاں، مجھے مارنے کو اٹھی تھی اور دیوار میں جا لگی۔۔۔۔۔

کیسے بچوں کی طرح پھوٹ پھوٹ کے روئی تھی، توبہ۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔

یہ بانو قدسیہ کا ناول، آدھا پڑھا اور یہاں چھوڑ دیا۔۔۔۔۔۔

اور یہ برسوں پرانی جیکٹ، جانے کیا اچھا لگتا تھا اس میں اسے۔۔۔۔۔۔۔

سانس نہیں لیتی تھی اسکے بغیر۔۔۔۔

اب دیکھو پچھلی سردیوں سے یہیں دھری ہے۔۔۔۔۔۔

پھر یوں ہوا بہت مدت نہیں آئی وہ مجھ سے ملنے۔۔۔۔۔۔

کیسا سناٹا رہا کرتا تھا ان دنوں اس کمرے میں۔۔۔۔۔۔۔

آج آ رہی ہے ملنے مجھ سے، کہتی تھی۔۔۔۔۔

آخری الوداع ضروری ہے۔۔۔۔۔

میں نے بھی کہہ دیا اب کچھ بھول کے مت جانا۔۔۔۔۔۔۔

آئی، کچھ دیر رکی، نہ کوئی بات، نہ چیت۔۔۔۔۔۔۔

چپکے چپکے روتی رہی اور پھر چلی گئی۔۔۔۔۔۔۔

اور یہ دیکھو، پانی کے گلاس پہ چھوڑ دیئے نا اس نے لپ سٹک کے نشان۔۔۔۔۔۔۔

ارے پاگل، میری جان۔۔۔۔۔۔

تو جہاں کہیں بھی رہے لیکن

تھوڑی سی تُو۔۔۔۔۔۔۔

میرے کمرے میں رہتی ہے۔۔۔۔۔۔.

On men's 'an' years (?myth)

Growing up one of my uncle, used to narrate this myth often
- and interestingly he died in his "an" age too.

(kiya hamari maut ki bazgasht hamari paidaish ke saath hi hamari genes mein likh di jaati hai?)

In certain parts of India, there is a myth that for Men, eight years of "an" are the hardest on him like ikkawan(51), bawan(52), treppan(53), chawwan(54), pachpan(55), chappan(56), sattawan(57) and atthawan(58) - and many can't survive those eight years.

Being a physician, I spoke to many elderly people, and most confess that indeed these were the most stressful time for them. I believe this is due to the fact that men tends to be very egoist.

(mard ki anaa hi us ka sab se mazboot hathyaar, aur us ka sab se kamzor pehlu hai)

It is very hard on men as he travels towards oldhood, and psychologically can't accept himself getting weak and frail, and this is probably one of the reason of his hard hit mid life crisis, popularly known as andropause.

 I guess at some extent it is true for women also with her menopause, but I guess women are more accepting and tend to find solace in people around her.

Shayed?

Ninth Path (A letter)

I need to confess that I have read many letters in urdu and english literature including master of "Khatoot Nawisi', Mirza Ghalib. But, this one letter literally took my breath away.

Lately, I am more than usual busy in work but thanks to some of my friends who continue to send me literary pieces to keep my soul alive.

Following letter was written by Hunter S. Thompson at the mere age of 20 years. (link to full letter is below the post)


"Dear Hume,

You ask advice: ah, what a very human and very dangerous thing to do! For to give advice to a man who asks what to do with his life implies something very close to egomania. To presume to point a man to the right and ultimate goal—to point with a trembling finger in the RIGHT direction is something only a fool would take upon himself.

I am not a fool, but I respect your sincerity in asking my advice. I ask you though, in listening to what I say, to remember that all advice can only be a product of the man who gives it. What is truth to one may be disaster to another. I do not see life through your eyes, nor you through mine. If I were to attempt to give you specific advice, it would be too much like the blind leading the blind.

"To be, or not to be: that is the question: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles... " 
(Shakespeare)

And indeed, that IS the question: whether to float with the tide, or to swim for a goal. It is a choice we must all make consciously or unconsciously at one time in our lives. So few people understand this! Think of any decision you've ever made which had a bearing on your future: I may be wrong, but I don't see how it could have been anything but a choice however indirect—between the two things I've mentioned: the floating or the swimming.

But why not float if you have no goal? That is another question. It is unquestionably better to enjoy the floating than to swim in uncertainty. So how does a man find a goal? Not a castle in the stars, but a real and tangible thing. How can a man be sure he's not after the "big rock candy mountain," the enticing sugar-candy goal that has little taste and no substance? 

The answer—and, in a sense, the tragedy of life—is that we seek to understand the goal and not the man. We set up a goal which demands of us certain things: and we do these things. We adjust to the demands of a concept which CANNOT be valid. When you were young, let us say that you wanted to be a fireman. I feel reasonably safe in saying that you no longer want to be a fireman. Why? Because your perspective has changed. It's not the fireman who has changed, but you. Every man is the sum total of his reactions to experience. As your experiences differ and multiply, you become a different man, and hence your perspective changes. This goes on and on. Every reaction is a learning process; every significant experience alters your perspective.

So it would seem foolish, would it not, to adjust our lives to the demands of a goal we see from a different angle every day? How could we ever hope to accomplish anything other than galloping neurosis? 
...........

But don't misunderstand me. I don't mean that we can't BE firemen, bankers, or doctors—but that we must make the goal conform to the individual, rather than make the individual conform to the goal. In every man, heredity and environment have combined to produce a creature of certain abilities and desires—including a deeply ingrained need to function in such a way that his life will be MEANINGFUL. A man has to BE something; he has to matter.
...................

Let's assume that you think you have a choice of eight paths to follow (all pre-defined paths, of course). And let's assume that you can't see any real purpose in any of the eight. THEN—and here is the essence of all I've said—you MUST FIND A NINTH PATH.

Naturally, it isn't as easy as it sounds. You've lived a relatively narrow life, a vertical rather than a horizontal existence. So it isn't any too difficult to understand why you seem to feel the way you do. But a man who procrastinates in his CHOOSING will inevitably have his choice made for him by circumstance. 

So if you now number yourself among the disenchanted, then you have no choice but to accept things as they are, or to seriously seek something else. But beware of looking for goals: look for a way of life. Decide how you want to live and then see what you can do to make a living WITHIN that way of life. But you say, "I don't know where to look; I don't know what to look for."

And there's the crux. Is it worth giving up what I have to look for something better? I don't know—is it? Who can make that decision but you? But even by DECIDING TO LOOK, you go a long way toward making the choice.
........

And that's it for now. Until I hear from you again, I remain,

your friend ...

Hunter

Link here

http://www.lettersofnote.com/2016/07/your-type-is-dime-dozen.html?utm_content=bufferbb38e&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer&m=1

A quote

You act like mortals in all that you fear, and like immortals in all that you desire. 

—as said by great roman Seneca

Wapas na aane wale naraz log

(aik conversation)

"Agar koi zindagi se naraz ho kar chala jaaye, aur wapas na aye  - kabhi mulaqat na ho - to kaise pata chale ke woh ab bhi naraz hai ya nahi?"

"Jab ruthne wale khud nahi mil sakte to - kabhi kahin saloN ya mahino main - khawab main aa ker - apni muskurahat bikhar jaate hain. Aisa ho to samjho ab woh naraz nahi".

"sach?"

"bilkul sach"!

Aik sufi hikayat

Maulana Jalaluddin Rumi once got a visitor. Maulana asked: "How's life going?" Guest said, "If I get I be thankful, and if I don't I preserve patience". Maulana said: "So do dogs of Baghdad too" So guest said: "How are you going?" Rumi replied: "If I get I do charity, and if not I stay grateful" .

ایک دفعہ مولانا جلال الدین رومی کے پاس ایک مرید آیا

 "مولانا نے پوچھا "کیسی گزر رہی ہے ؟ 

"مرید بولا، "مل جائے تو شکر کرتے ہیں، نہ ملے تو صبر 

"مولانا نے فرمایا "ایسا تو بغداد کے کتے بھی کرتے ہیں 

"مرید بولا، "آپ کی کیسے گزر رہی ہے؟ 

"آپ نے فرمایا، "مل جائے تو صدقہ کرتے ہیں، نہ ملے تو شکر

On 'human tendency to take loved ones granted'

I am sharing below two pictures. First one is a painting, and was very emotionally steering for me. It titled, “Room in New York” (1932). Artist is Edward Hopper (here). Second one, is a photograph. I don't know its origin.

It tells me that humans, though a social animal, tend to take other humans, particularly loved ones as granted. I don't see any change when I see people glued to their smartphones in gatherings.

On 'losing stuff'

"Cheezain khoti nahi hain, bus woh hamari zindagi se chali jaati hain"!

Rabindranath Tagore's 'Unending Love'

(What a beautiful narration. As Faiz said

gar aaj tujh se juda hain to kal baham honge 

ye raat  bhar ki judaaii  to  koi baat nahin )

I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times…
In life after life, in age after age, forever.
My spellbound heart has made and remade the necklace of songs,
That you take as a gift, wear round your neck in your many forms,
In life after life, in age after age, forever.

 Whenever I hear old chronicles of love, its age-old pain,
Its ancient tale of being apart or together.
As I stare on and on into the past, in the end you emerge,
Clad in the light of a pole-star piercing the darkness of time:
You become an image of what is remembered forever.

 You and I have floated here on the stream that brings from the fount.
At the heart of time, love of one for another.
We have played along side millions of lovers, shared in the same
Shy sweetness of meeting, the same distressful tears of farewell-
Old love but in shapes that renew and renew forever.

 Today it is heaped at your feet, it has found its end in you
The love of all man’s days both past and forever:
Universal joy, universal sorrow, universal life.
The memories of all loves merging with this one love of ours –
And the songs of every poet past and forever.

On "raising grandkids"

Unfortunate or fortunate, it is a norm in the western world for young immigrant couples to bring their parents here to help them in child care of their kids, as childcare is costly in western countries. Generally, it is stereotyped as a bad thing that older grandparents are getting abused.

But everyone does not have the same view. One Grandma (Dadi) made the following comment to me: "I know, my son and daughter-in-law view me as a money saver, but for me, this is a chance to raise my grandkids with important values. Also, they are learning their cultural language. Child care services don't raise kids; they babysit them on an hourly basis. I feel honored, privileged, and happy to raise my grandchildren properly. There is a difference between babysitting a child and raising a child."

*

Aashura: The Jewish Connection!

(link to full article at the end)

"...........

The story goes as follows: When the Prophet arrived in Yasreb ( present day Madina), he saw Jewish people observing fast on the tenth of the month. He inquired and was told that Jews observed that day for the deliverance of their people from Pharaoh by fasting for one day. Prophet declared that as Muslims were closer to Moses then the then-day Jews, Muslims would observe fasting for two days. So the tradition of fasting for those two days started. In the second year of Hijri, the Ramzan fasting became obligatory and thus the Aashura fasting became optional. ....

Here is what I could gather. The Jewish tradition of celebrating the freedom from Pharaoh is Passover, and that is in the month of Nisan, the first month the ecclesiastical year and the seventh month or eighth of the civil year. The Passover is celebrated on the 15th and not on the 10th of that month. They eat unleavened bread and there is celebration with wine, four cups to be precise. There is no fasting except for the first born, as they may have been dead in Pharaoh's Egypt.

 The tradition which coincides with fasting is Yum Kippur. It is on the tenth day of Tishrei, the first month of the civil year. Jews observe fast on that day, 25 hours to be precise. But it does not coincide with the deliverance from Pharaoh's terror. It is a day to repent sins and relates to the expulsion of Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden. However the day is the same day when Moses received the second of his tablets of Ten Commandments.

 I tried to get old calendar dates. Muslim sources claim that Prophet entered Madina on July 16th, 622. This was the beginning of a new month, perhaps a month or two after Muharram. That is how the Hijri calendar was started ; backdated to that day during the time of the second caliph Umar. This date coincides with the first of Av, the fifth month of the Hebrew year 4382. The day of Yum Kippur came two months later in September or so.

...............the most likely Jewish holiday Prophet Muhammad noticed was Yum Kippur and not Passover. The story fits nicely with Yum Kippur: fasting, solemn affair, the tenth day of the first month of the year. Perhaps it was not Passover, where there is celebration and is on the fifteenth of the month. Moreover Passover is always in the Spring, and not in the month of July or soon after. ............. A day to reflect and reconcile."

Link :::: http://ghareebkhana.blogspot.com/2017/10/aashura-jewish-connection.html?m=1

On 'purpose of literature'

A Cute definition of Love

While browsing through everyday newspapers, I went through the following article, which is not very significant (as put by one of my friend - article is nothing but CV of two chefs), the groom gave an interesting definition of love.

“I love you, not for what you are, but what I am when I am with you.”

If desired, click at They Have No Reservations (About Each Other)


It remind of chacha Ghalib: (as if mashooq says)

mat pooch ke kya haal hai mera tere peeche  
tu  dekh ke   kya   rang  hai tera   mere aage