Principles of High Value Men

(Not necessarily agreeing with all)

 

The dark side of Emotional Intelligence

The dark side of Emotional Intelligence

 

An Advice

You may not need to agree, but I heard this at an Iftar party. 

 "In this country, sometimes it is tough to give all the religious values to our children. But if you ask me to pick only one value, I will teach them to say Bismillah (in the name of God) at the start of any meal and shukar-alhamdulliah (thank God) at the end of any meal. I believe this will put a lot of things in line. It is easy to teach from an early age by practicing ourselves and asking them to follow."

On "raising grandkids"

Unfortunate or fortunate, it is a norm in the western world for young immigrant couples to bring their parents here to help them in child care of their kids, as childcare is costly in western countries. Generally, it is stereotyped as a bad thing that older grandparents are getting abused.

But everyone does not have the same view. One Grandma (Dadi) made the following comment to me: "I know, my son and daughter-in-law view me as a money saver, but for me, this is a chance to raise my grandkids with important values. Also, they are learning their cultural language. Child care services don't raise kids; they babysit them on an hourly basis. I feel honored, privileged, and happy to raise my grandchildren properly. There is a difference between babysitting a child and raising a child."

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On "Faith and Ethics"

Some people are so firm in their Iman (and their ethics) that it astonish me. I was asked by a parent of one of my student. Following is a very brief conversation which will tell you the whole story.

"Beta! Tum poora din hospital main residency kerti ho. Phir ghar jaati ho ya jumma parhne masjid. Baqi waqt kitaboN main juti rehti ho. Aese to tumhe koi rishta nahi mile ga. Apne parents ke saath dawatoN, shadioN wagera pe chali jaya karo. Un ka bhi dil reh jaaye ga".

"Sir! Woh chahye ga to saathi bhi likh dega, jis ne mere liye izzat ka kaam aur rizqe-halal ki naimat likh di hai, magar main apni in zimmedarioN se bewafaii to nahi ker sakti"

The Book Thief

Book Thief is an interesting movie and a must see for 2013 list. It is a story narrated by (angel of) death!

Story revolves around a pre-teen girl who goes through extreme hardship in Germany during World War 2. As she loses one after another of her loved ones, she questions the meaning of hope, life, help, promise, words, books and love. As angel of death says in the end - that - people think death haunts the life but in actuality its life which haunts the death that how hard and incredible to live through the process of life.

Movie has been done remarkably well with pace, photography, filming war and bombing, and showing era of 1940s. Trailer here

= Movie Homefront is a typical Sylvester stallone "All American One Man Hero" type movie. You will not regret $10 and will not get bored. Trailer here

Changing values?

I was talking to one of my senior colleague about how life, values and societies have changed. How everything including relationships have become 'drive-thru' and 'disposable'. He sent me following email and asked, what you think - this would happen today? 

 "It was back in 1984 when I was doing my house job at Civil hospital Karachi. I left my home with my friend on motorcycle for the hospital. On my way I dropped the small bag with my ID card and my home telephone number, but the most important possession was my original Litman stethoscope ( avery prized possession in those days ). Well, two young boys found it and took it to my home where they found that I am at the hospital. They did not leave the stethoscope at home and drove to my work. They probably spent good 3-4 hours in this ordeal. They never asked for any prize or even gas money and left after I thanked them, like it was their obligation".

Stuck in 'P' word!

In last few weeks, I am having an interesting interaction with my kids. If I end up saying 'Promise' to anything, no matter what, I have to fulfill it. It ranges from stupid promise of shaving first thing in the morning (as they found my beard ticklish) to taking them to Disney before year's end.

In the beginning I didn't take it seriously but later I realized its value. I maintained steady flow of promises and making sure they get fulfilled (like you get the window seat next time on flying, will take you to dollar store first thing in the morning, will buy Cane's Chicken for you before midnight, Or our next car would be of white color etc etc). My kids will jump in joy if they hear "Promise" with any sentence. They say: "You are now stuck with P word"

I think, I achieved my objective of teaching them lesson that:  "LafzoN ki bari hurmat hoti hai"

On Yusuf!

People think Yusuf has a place in history because he was the most handsome man ever existed on this planet. This is a very shallow approach to that Qasas (story). Lust and seduction of Zuleikha for a handsome man happened millions of time in human history and would continue to do till  estrogen (and testosterone) is flowing!

So what exalted Yusuf in human history? It was not his beauty! Actually it was his strong commitment to his core value of 'not to cheat'. Yusuf was brought from Egypt's Bazaar as a slave but treated like a son by his Master. Master's wife Zuleikha seduced him and offered to sleep with him. Yusuf found it inappropriate to sleep with wife of his father like master. In revenge, Zuleikha was able to put him in prison for long time but Yusuf remained steadfast for what he believed! It was the strength of character. Despite having mind blowing grace to get any woman in a blink - he refused to succumb to seduction, lust and basic fatal instinct.

Respect

"Is Respect a right or a privilege?"
"Once you lose it, it becomes a privilege".