On 'Quest of Love'

Much has been written on this topic, but it was best described in the renowned French novel "Madame Bovary." Whether talking of unhappiness in one's relationship - or polygamous relationships - or leaving relationships one after another in quest of perfect/ideal relationship  - one thing needs to be understood:

"Extramarital relationships, polygamous affairs, quickies, one night stands, serial dating - is not a sign of freedom and may sound very exotic on the outside but may turn a soul into as pathetic, possessive and banal as monogamous relationship or marriage itself. In actuality, this so-called sign of freedom may become a bigger psychological, social, and psychological storm...."

There is no perfect answer! As our Gulzar  Sahab said on relationships....

KaantoN ki taaraiN haiN, Pathar ke darwaze!

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On walk from place of worship!

Meri baat aap ko bohat purani aur daqyanusi lage gi!


Mandir ho, masjid ho, kaleesa ho ke kaaba ho. Kisi bhi insaan ko is baat se bohat khushi haasil hoti hai ke - woh apni 'place of worship' se paidal chal ker apne ghar tak aaye! ...........................Agar aap ne zindagi main aesa nahi kiya to ker ke dekhiye - aik achha sakoon milta hai. 


Wajah aap dhundiye, mujeh sirf 'statement' dene dijye.

Man and Woman...

(Both brains work differently)

Give Respect to a Man, and in return he will love you....
Give Love to a Woman, and in return she will respect you......

Diya!

Hamare shehr main aik mandir hai. 


Baqol Faiz:
koi ujra huwa, be-noor purana mandir 
dhundhta hai jo kharabi ke bahane kab se 
Chaak har baam, har ik dum ka dum-e-akhir hai 


Us mandir main kisi shab main ne bhi tumhara naam ka aik diya jalaya hai

A fine line between You and Me

Another beautiful post from Aisha - an highly emotional tale from real life.


"I realize we are all someone's child. And I realize that if I let my heart crack open and bleed like it does right now over moments like this that I will not be able to function in this world full of heartache and sadness as much as its filled with sunflowers and daffodils-- but there are some moments like watching tears of gratitude from a man old enough to be your grandfather because you plugged in a cord-- that make your heart hurt."


Read full Post: On power cords and the fine line between You and Me

At Deathbed - 2

On my previous post, Aasem Bakhshi has views contrary to mine. He prefer to be alone at deathbed due to reason that he does not want loved ones to suffer due to his own death. Actually, his views coincide with Great Leo Tolstoy (who in real life, before death walked out of house but collapsed at nearby train station). Let me quote a paragraph from last page of his story "The Death of Ivan Ilyich".


"At that very moment Ivan Ilych fell through and caught sight of the light, and it was revealed to him that though his life had not been what it should have been, this could still be rectified. He asked himself, "What *is* the right thing?" and grew still, listening. Then he felt that someone was kissing his hand. He opened his eyes, looked at his son, and felt sorry for him. His wife camp up to him and he glanced at her. She was gazing at him open-mouthed, with undried tears on her nose and cheek and a despairing look on her face. He felt sorry for her too.


"Yes, I am making them wretched," he thought. "They are sorry, but it will be better for them when I die." He wished to say this but had not the strength to utter it. "Besides, why speak? I must act," he thought. with a look at his wife he indicated his son and said: "Take him away...sorry for him...sorry for you too...." He tried to add, "Forgive me," but said "Forego" and waved his hand, knowing that He whose understanding mattered would understand.


And suddenly it grew clear to him that what had been oppressing him and would not leave his was all dropping away at once from two sides, from ten sides, and from all sides. He was sorry for them, he must act so as not to hurt them: release them and free himself from these sufferings. "How good and how simple!" he thought. "And the pain?" he asked himself. "What has become of it? Where are you, pain?" He turned his attention to it.

At Deathbed!

 "Who would you like to be with when you are dying"?

I am very good in answering instantly to this type of questions but this took a while for me. Actually, I pondered for a day! I imagined myself dying on deathbed and thought about my siblings, close friends, cousins, relatives, even parents and my kids whom I thought I love most in my life - but I came to a very different answer!

I would not like to have many people around my deathbed while dying. I would like to have only one person whom I love from my heart and have full trust, to be there. Nothing can be more peaceful than that!!

As Ustaq Zauq said:

Kum honge is bisat pe hum jese badqimar

Jo chal hum chale, so nihaye't buri chale

Kirnain -2

Main ne pehle bhi is blog pe likha hai (here): "One of the most 'finest' love story in Urdu is writtten by Shaifqur Rehman called KirnaiN". Zindagi main aksar aese mor aaye hain jub main ne almari se nikal ker is afsane ko phir parha hai. Aaj bhi aesa hi aik din tha......


"Shaffu bhayya ka dil kesa tha? jo na gamoN se jhuka, na aaftoN ne is per koi asar kiya. MaayusioN ke kese toofan aaye lekin use na hila sake.......


"Aur ab! - Ab bhi un ki wahi tanha zindagi hogi, be-kaif zindagi! lekin un ka chehra ab bhi roshan hoga. Shikayat ka aik lafz bhi un ke laboN per na aata hoga. MareezoN ka aadha dukh to woh apni meethi baatoN se dur ker dete hon ge. Rang ba-rang phooloN ka ab bhi shoq hoga. Baag main ab bhi subah subah seetiaN bajate hon ge"


"......Tab main ne socha ke ye ranj-o-gum sab waqti cheezaiN hain. Bilkul naa'paidaar! - Na to khushi hi dair tak rehti hai aur na udasi. Bulke aesi mehboob hastioN ki yaad hamesha ke liye dil maiN mehfooz rehti hai - aur aese masroor lamhoN ki yaad bhi - jo kabhi muskurahatoN main basar huwe the. Yahi zindagi ki weeranioN main rafiq banti hai. Sab kuch ujar jaane per bhi zindagi ki taarikiaN inhi kirnoN se jagmaga uththi haiN. Ye jhilmil jhilmil kerti hui piyari piyari kirnaiN"

Barhwan Khilari (The Twelfth Man)

(One of my all time favorite poem - from Iftikhar Arif)


barhwan khilari bhi 
 kiya ajab khilari hai 
 khel hota rehta hai 
 shor machta rehta hai 
 daad parti rehti hai
 aur woh alag sab se
 intezar karta hai 
 aik aisi sa'at ka
 aik aisay lamhey ka 
 jis main saniha ho jaaye 
 Phir woh khailne niklay 
 taaliyon ke jhurmat main 
 aik jumla-e-khush kun
 aik naara-e-tehseen 
 us kay naam ho ja'aye 
 Sab khilariyon kay saath 
 woh bhi moutabar ho ja'aye 


 tum bhi Iftikhar Arif 
 barhwain khilari ho
 intezar kartey ho
 aik aisay lamhey ka 
 aik aisi saa'at ka 
 jis main hadisa ho ja'aye 
 jis main saniha ho jaye

Meals Ready!

 Worth watching - a short film! - A short tale of love!

Good news? Bad news?

 Over the years - I have learned that a small personality test determines a person's personality. (Biased, obviously).

If you ask a person - Do you want the good news first? Or bad news first?

A person who asks for the good news first is usually more social, let it go, kind of careless, unplanned, happy, lucky go, usually broke but simultaneously optimist and a good friend - and a person who asks for the bad news first is generally cautious, less confident, perfectionist, controlling but simultaneously hard-working, intelligent, no non-sense and frugal people.

It's just two different flavors of people you live with. Nothing major!

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Kiya tamasha hai! Kabse jaari hai?

At times, life can be a real bitch.... but still its so lovely!
What a beautiful gem in Sajjad Ali's 'pakka' voice.

Saath kaati hai? ya guzari hai?

From "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"

One of the most classic scenes ever written in the history of Hollywood


 

"Way, The"

Martin Sheen's new but not very advertised movie, "The Way," is more of an independent film. It revolves around four characters who join the pilgrimage to the Spanish city of Santiago de Compostela for their own various reasons under the folklore that said pilgrimage helps spiritual salvation.

 Martin Sheen is carrying the burden and ashes of his dead son. He is first joined by a Dutch man who loves food but fights his weight as his wife stops sleeping with him. Later, they found an angry Canadian woman who is a victim of domestic violence and is trying to give up her addiction to smoking. Actually, she is inside carrying the guilt of an abortion. Lastly, they found an Irish writer suffering from writer's block, but he hates his commercial job of writing for a travelers' magazine.

 As the movie evolves, the pilgrimage progresses, and their interaction intensifies. As they fight their psychological issues and try to find meaning in their journey and life, they realize that it is not important to fight a particular thing in life. What makes it worthwhile is sharing each other's burdens and joys in life.

See trailer here

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Windows (Aik Hikayat)

A young couple moves into a new neighborhood. The next morning while they are eating breakfast, The young woman sees her neighbor hanging the Wash outside. "That laundry is not very clean", she said. "She doesn't know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap."

 Her husband looked on, but remained silent. Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, The young woman would make the same comments.

 About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a Nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband: "Look, she has learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this."

 The husband said, "I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows".

Poverty and Human Bonding!

One Awesome Art! (Beggar-Brothers) depicting human bonding in poverty. 

I googled but could not find the original artist!

Mere Baba ke das (10) Baras!

Main mere Baba ki jaan thi - jise log "Daddy's Girl" kehte hain. Meri umar 6 baras thi. Mera School ke "Class 1" ka pehla din tha - jub mere Baba ko heart attack huwa. Baba Bombay ki lilawati hospital ke ICU main the. Heart attack itna shadeed tha ke doctors ne saaf keh diya mere Baba nahi bacheN ge. Mere Chacha, hum dono bhai bahen ko jaldi jaldi tayyar ker ke hospital le gaye. Yun to bachhoN ko ICU main jaane ki ijazat nahi thi magar doctors kehte the Baba ki aaj aakhri raat hai. Hum dono ko Baba ke bistar ke paas jaane ki ijazat mil gai...

Main choti si bachhi thi. Pata nahi chal raha tha kiya ho raha hai. Bus itna maalum tha Baba marne wale hain. Mama kehti thi log marte nahi hain bus ooper chale jaate hain! main ne apni choti choti unglion se Baba ka haat thama to mujhe aesa laga mere Baba ne aankhain kholi ho aur mujhe mehsoos kiya ho - aur phir hum ko ICU se bahir le gaye.

Magar woh raat Baba ki aakhri raat nahi thi. Baba theek hone lage aur sahetyaab hoke ghar aa gaye. Aik din unhon ne meri Mama ko bataya: "Jub meri beti ki unglian mujeh mere haaton pe mehsoos hui to main ne apne Khuda se sirf ye dua maangi - ke aye Khuda - ye bacchi mere bagair nahi ji paaye gi. Mujeh sirf das baras aur de de ke ye zara samjhdar ho jaaye..Lagta hai Khuda ne meri sun li"

Tum jaante ho theek 10 baras baad jub meri college ke first year ka pehla din tha - mere Baba neend se baidar nahi huwe. Woh intiqal ker gaye.

Age 40

About 6 years ago I wrote a one line post titled: 40 years. "Ye koi ittifaq to nahi ke Islam ke Muhammad ko nabuwwat 40 baras ki umer main mili". I did pick this post after conventional wisdom absorbed from world literature that a human attain intellectual maturity at age 40.

Beauty of Internet is that you meet smarter people than yourself! On my last post (On Belief) 2 such people commented. One was Adnan, an extremely talented kid from Toronto. Other was Aasem Bakhshi. Aasem mentioned on his blog the reference of Qurani ayat for the significance of age 40. Let me put his words here;

"According to Al-Quran 46:15, man attains strength at the age of 40. A few might take it literally but it is an age when the perceptual experience of reality has to be expressed by humans".

On Belief

Interesting quote found on internet (Author ?)

 "It takes more faith to believe there is no God than the believe there is a God".

On Human side of people!

Steve Jobs died. Most of the people were sad, including me. But this is a free country. It was shocking to see a lot of negative comments about his life and personality on the internet. I think it was very mean! But beyond that, one thing should be understood: After all, we are humans, and we all carry chips on our shoulders.

History is full of it. Gandhi slept naked with naked young girls under his psychological pursuit to attain purity. Saadat Hasan Minto was an an alcoholic. Allama Iqbal was said to kill a prostitute and was able to get away with it! Einstein fathered an illegitimate child and is also rumored to be a womanizer. One of the most intelligent American presidents, Bill Clinton, had sexual relationships with other women while married. Same with Abraham Lincoln....and the list goes on! 

This is just to read as it's essential to understand great personalities as humans. It does not decrease the stature of their work!