A quote on 'Life'

Taken from following article at NY Times

"The Small, Happy Life" (David Brooks) (link)

Hans Pitsch wrote: “At age 85, the question of meaning in my life is urgent. The question of the purpose of my life is another matter. World War II and life in general have taught me that outcomes from our actions or inactions are often totally unpredictable and random. I am thankful to be alive. I have a responsibility to myself and those around me to give meaning to my life from day to day. I enjoy my family (not all of them) and the shrinking number of old friends. You use the term ‘organizing frame’ in one’s life. I am not sure if I want to be framed by an organizing principle, but if there is one thing that keeps me focused, it’s the garden. Lots of plants died during the harsh winter, but, amazingly, the clematises and the roses are back, and lettuce, spinach and tomatoes are thriving in the new greenhouse. The weeping cherry tree in front of the house succumbed to old age. I still have to plant a new tree this year.”

Quote

Oscar Wilde always impress me with his unique way of looking things in life. 

What he said, is so true of any man's (mard) psychology.

Correction of a common literary mistake - 3

                       شب بلا ہے تو روز آفت ہے

                       زندگی ہجر میں مصیبت ہے

                       تنگ دستی اگر نہ ہو سالک

                       تندرستی  ہزار  نعمت  ہے

                   (قربان علی سالک)

  یہ قطعہ غلط طور پر غالب سے منسوب ہے ۔   

   نام : مرزا قربان علی بیگ ۔ تخلص : سالک ۔ پہلا تخلص قربان تھا۔ 

  ولادت : ۱۸۲۴ء حیدرآباد دکن ۔ وطن ؛ دہلی ۔ تلمذ : مومن اور غالب۔

  وفات : جون ۱۸۸۰ء حیدرآباد دکن۔ 

  

__._,_.___

__._,_.___

__._,_.___

__._,_.___

A quote on Father and Son

When a father gives to his son, both laugh; when a son gives to his father, both cry.

~ William Shakespeare

On Blogging

On Wars

In last few days I watched 3 movies

1. Indian Movie Haider  
2. Russel Crowe's The Water Diviner
3. Clint Eastwood's American Sniper

Billions of words have been written and spoken on the miseries and sorrows of war - and whatever I will write here would be redundant. Human history is nothing but a catalogue of war and destruction.

All these 3 movies slowly sunk into me. Irrespective of their technical loose sides, these movies made me sad and taught me only one lesson: "Patriotism, Revolution, Nationalism, Religion, Loyalty, Honor and so called many other values which instigate one human to kill another human, and to destroy peaceful lives and settlements should not be taught in schools with so much vigor."

 I think it was  Khalil Jibran who said: "Kiya jo Khanjar main ne tere seeney main utara, ye wahi khanjar nahi? jo mere dil ke aar paar ho raha hai" (Isn't it the same dagger which I put through your chest, is going through my heart?)

(BTW: If you want to see real mature acting - don't miss Russel Crowe in Water Diviner)

Haider here
THe Water Diviner here
American Sniper here

Mark Twain on Travel

Best quotation on, why travel is essential in life

Lucky Penny

Main zindagi main jab bhi udas huwa, main ne apne aap se aik hi sawal kiya - aur - mujhey hamesah aik hi jawab mila - Magar Us din kuch thoRa alag huwa

Us din kisii baat pe dil baRa udas tha, to main ne apne aap se wahi swal kiya ke: "Mujhey ab aage kiya kerna chahiyey?" to hamesah ki tarah wahi jawab mila ke: Mujehy imandar hona chahiey".

Magar us din junhi mere dil ne ye jawab diya - train station se bahir aate - merey saamney zameen pe paRi, aik (lucky) penny jajmaga rahi thi

- meri udasi, aik muskurahat main badal gai

A Quote

Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become A monster.
~ Friedrich Nietzsche

'Written in the Stars' by Ayesha Saeed

What one thing I would have done different! I would have killed Saif and Naila.

I am sure author would have pondered about killing them while writing the manuscript but at last she decided to make it a happily ever after ending. In real world, family would have killed both of them in Land of Pure. Irrespective of ending, its a beautiful novel. Its a simple and a straightforward story but a very powerful one. I had to close the book and take a deep breath when Amin forcefully consummate his marriage with Naila (marital rape).

'Written in the Stars' is a novel about 'kidnapped brides' from western countries to back home for the sake of family's false value of honor! Its about a very very common and under reported problem encountered by desi girls in USA and Europe. Environment in Pakistan was described with so much authenticity that I was wondering, if author travelled to rural Pakistan while writing novel?

What I really liked about this novel is the description of the role of parents and elders of family played in 'kidnapped brides'. Author didn't go any diplomatic and she is telling the truth on the face!

At the end of the novel, links/resources are provided for girls if they fell prey to such circumstances.

(I wish Imran - brother - had larger character in novel)

(link http://www.aishasaeed.com/p/main-page.html )

Kelly

ShahroN pe aesi bijliaN tab hi gira kerti hain aur aese toofan tab hi aaya kerte hain jab kisi ka dil reza reza huwa kerta hai.

Washington State main baarish aur toofan to roz hi aaya kerte the magar us raat toofan is qadar shadeed tha ke Ocean City ke makan main har lamha mera dil dharkta raha ke kahin koi deewar hi na gir paaRe. Poori raat bijlian kaRkti rahin, badal garjte rahe aur khiRkian khaRkti rahin......

Mujhe yaad hai us raat moom-batti ki roshni main, apni diary main ne tehreer kiya tha ke: "Kiya ye wahi toofan nahi hai jo is raat 'Kelly' ke dil-o-dimag se guzar raha hai"?

Kelly mere clinic main part time social health worker thi. Use apne shohar Jim se janoon ki had tak muhabbat thi. Jim ki Ma unke saath raha kerti thi magar har roz saas aur bahu main laRaai rehti thi. Kelly apni Mother-in-Law ko nafrat se Monster-in-Law  kaha kerti thi. Is se uski apni saas se nafrat ka andaza ho sakta hai....

.........Aur un dono ki laRaaii ke beech Jim chup chaap pees raha tha. Jim se main kai baar mil chuka tha. Intihaii shareefun-nafs aur khamosh tabiyat ka insaan tha. Woh is laRaaii  ke zaher ko andar hi andar peeta raha.

Aur phir aik din khabar aaii ke Jim ko brain tumor ho gaya hai aur aik dam se kuch dinoN main Jim is dunya se chala gaya. Kelly ko mehsoos hone laga ke Jim ko brain tumor uski wajah se huwa hai.

Jis din hum Jim ke funeral se wapas aaye, Kelly bohat roti rahi aur us raat bohat gazab ka toofan hamare shahr se guzra! Aesa toofan ke aaj tak us ki haibat mere dil per bethi hai.

Kal phir poori raat mere Shahr pe aik aesa hi toofan garajta raha! Aur andhere main apne bister pe lete lete main sochta raha - lagta hai aaj phir kisi Kelly ka dil reza reza huwa hai.

(Hear this post below)

"Jab...."

Jese hi hum apne jumle ka agaaz aese kerte hain: 

"Jab main wahan tha......",
"Jab main ne ye kiya tha ....",
"Jab mere paas woh tha..."

WahiN se aap ki baat ki tauqeer khatam ho jaati hai, sunne wale ka 'interest' khatam ho jata - aur wahin se aap ki Anaa' ki nafi shuru ho jaati hai

Khili khili

"Kiya baat hai Ashu? Shadi ke baad bari  khili khili, khush khush aur nikhri nikhri nazar aane lagi ho?"

"Jab ye pata ho ke ghar jaane per koi sofe pe TV dekhte, channel badalte - aap ka intazar ker raha hoga - to khush rehne ke liye yahi aehsas bohat hai."

A quote

(It took me decades to understand the depth of the following quote of Tolstoy)

Kohni (elbow)

Main shayed Medical College ke 3rd ya 4th year main tha. Main 'Sadar' se ghar jaane ke liye Mini-Bus main betha. Meri aage wali seat pe 70/80 baras ke aik baa-resh buzurg apne 9/10 saal ke pote ke saath bethe the. Mini-Bus main rush tha, Hamari seat ke saath aik 15/16 saal ka laRka, Mini-Bus ka danda pakRe khaRa tha. Mini jo tezi se bhagna shuru hui to us laRke ka haat Dande se 2/3 baar chooT gaya, aur un Buzurg ko uski kohni lag gai. Buzurg jalal main aa gaye. Gaalion main laRke ke khandan ki patloon tak utar li. LaRka shariff sa tha, chup raha...baat yahan tak hoti to theek thi ke Karachi ki basoN main ye roz ka maamool tha.....magar buzurg laRke ke saath, apne pote seemat us ke 'stop' pe utar gaye.... (Mujeh kahaniaN dhundne ka aur Sherlock Holmes banne ka shoq tha - main bhi utar gaya ke dekhun kiya hota hai)....Buzurk ne us laRke ke kaan pakre aur us ke ghar ki taraf saath chal diye....woh gareeb , 'che piddi che piddi ka shorba', buzurg ko saRak se 8/10 galian choR ke apne ghar ke darwaze tuk le gaya (main wahan se wapas muR gaya). ........Ye chota sa, bulke bohat chota sa waqiyaa tha, magar ye waqiya barsoN mujeh yaad raha aur main sochta raha..Buzurg ki Ana aur kadoorat ne na sirf unka apna aur larke ka waqt barbaad kiya bulke larke aur uske ghar walon ko bhi kis zehni azziyat se guzara ho gaa, bulke sabse baRh ker apne potey ke dimag pe kiya asar daala hoga ----  ...aur phir ye waqiyaa aahista aahista dimag se mahev ho gaya....

Is baat ke koi 22 baras baad, meri Ottawa ki flight thi, aur Toronto se connection tha. Mujeh andaza nahi tha ke Canadian immigration Toronto se hoga aur Ottawa ke liye mujeh 'Terminal change' aur phir se 'domestic security' se guzarna ho ga....Main jab 'domestic security' pe pauncha to saamne aik lambi qataar thi aur meri flight ne '30 minutes' main 'depart' hona tha. Main har kisi se kehta: "I have flight in 30 minutes, may I go ahead?" aur har koi mujeh aapne aage jaane deta.....security se zara pehle aik 80/85 baras ke baRe mian ne kaha: "No you can't. Be in line. And I don't care if you miss your flight"... Kiya kerta.....I stayed in line. (After security I ran as hard as I can, holding my belt and shoes in one hand and bag in other and made to flight). .... Us din mujeh pehla wala waqiyaa aik dum se yaad aa gaya.

(I hope, I don't get that jhakki in my oldhood)

Zindagi main mujeh ye baat seekhne main bohat waqt laga ke: "Har baat main, sahi hona zaroori nahi, magar maherbaan hona zaroori hai" (Its more important in life to be kind than always be right).

Sadiq Bhai ki Princess

 Sadiq bhai was my neighbor 12 years ago. We had a very good rapo and shared many evenings together in our neighborhood coffee shop. Later we both moved on with our lives. Neither of us made any effort ever to contact each other. We were like 2 passengers who were at platform for few hours for trains going in opposite directions. Sadiq bhai was 5 years older than me. He was an average Pakistani immigrant who came to this country empty handed but with honesty and hard work found true America as a land of opportunity. He worked as a handyman and a car mechanic and over years became an owner of cab company owning almost 100 cabs. Money brought more money and in true sense he became a multimillionaire, but always remained grounded to earth. (I learned some part of his story later). When last time, I met him 12 years ago he was a regular lean thin average Joe type person. Accidentally, few weeks ago we bumped each other in a desi restaurant. His body habitus was changed. He has become a very muscular man and was obvious that he is a body-builder. I asked: "Kiya Sadiq Bhai! Aik dam Salman Khan lag rahe ho? bari jaan-shaan banaa li. Ye body-building ke chakkar main kese par gaye?"

 As we caught 12 years of our lives, he told me: "I finally married a very nice American  white woman. We fall in love and remained in love till today. We quickly conceived a child. Unfortunately my daughter who is 10 now, was born with a very rare genetic problem, called lissencephaly, which made her physically and mentally challenged. Every night when she goes to sleep, I don't know if she will ever wake up to see the sun rise. She is the love of my life and if I have do it all over again I will have her the same exact way. Her life span is may be eighteen or nineteen years of age. It doesn't matter because, I live one day at a time with her and enjoy it. If she lived to be 18 or 19, I want to give her the best 19 years. In a way its a blessing that her life span is short, because I would like to take care of her in my life time. I wouldn't want to die with a burden of who is going to take care of my girl. And to stay healthy for her, I eat healthy, I exercise regularly and I try to keep myself fit. She is my princess and anything for her." As he showed picture of his princess to me on his wallet, instead of tears I saw a beautiful smile in his eyes. 

Aur main sochta raha: "Allah ki sari aazmaishaiN sirf us ke sachhe aur khare bandoN ke liye kiun hoti hai?"

Bagi Lounge

One of my most mind-blowing, notorious, and out-of-the-norm experiences in life was "Bagi Lounge."

A few years back, I was introduced to a group of mature Pakistani people who were highly professional, widely read, and successful. These were unsatisfied souls with their inner selves due to conflicting religious beliefs or were exhausted from their responsibilities. They were not sure about the whole 'gorakh dhandha' of this 'chutiya fucking life' (as said by my favorite, Dr. Rehman and founder of the club). Either they were burned from failed relationships or were unhappy in their present relationships. They were too liberal to move into the conservative Pakistani community. The idea was from the famous novel, "The DaVinci Code." They have rented a huge furnished house in one of the quiet suburbs of the town.

Each member has a key to the house. They contributed more or less equal money to run the club regularly. Whoever and whenever one feels down can relax at the house named "Bagi Lounge." They were one of the most nonjudgmental people I have ever come across. At that time, there were about 25 people, including men and women. Sometimes, you will find no one there, and sometimes, there will be 10 to 12 people at one given time. They will sit, joke, or share their writings and frustrations. A lot of food, alcohol, cigarette, dirty jokes, and porn was the norm. You can say whatever you want. You can cry or laugh as you desire or hang out just doing nothing. Sometimes, I drove there at 2 in the morning. I regularly found Dr. Aseer alone with a glass of whisky and reading his poetry (BTW, no one was allowed to drive under the influence). At noon, I found Nomana (A Real Estate tycoon in the city) dancing to the song "Raqs zanjeer pahen ker bhi Kiya jata hai." Arguments broke out on the political ground a couple of times, and a couple of people left, but overall, it was a smooth affair. They never did anything ever illegal or even unethical. My biggest surprise was meeting a clergyperson from a mosque who was unhappy with his childhood religious beliefs. There was one brother and sister and one husband and wife. One interesting character was a professional athlete who always talked about building muscles and its direct relationship to the man-woman relationship's durability. Due to the high level of addictive intellectual conversations and sarcastic touches, I developed profound friendships with many people there, particularly with one married woman, nicknamed Uzzi, who had a Master's in English literature but was now a housewife. We almost slept together, but at the last moment, we were saved by her emergency move to another city for family reasons.

After a few months, as I was getting tired of the group and thinking of leaving, we learned that Professor (in education) Noorani had a massive traffic accident. She has just gone through a very dirty divorce and was left responsible for raising three daughters. She was in the hospital (and later in Rehab.) and was devastated by the loss of income and support. I was amazed that everyone pulled together and helped her in every way to get back to everyday life. Later on, one day, I expressed to Dr. Aseer my appreciation of the group for whatever everybody did for Dr. Noorani. He said: "Agar tum ne Victor Hugo ka novel 'HunchBack of Notre DaM' parha hota, to jaante ke, asal rishte khoon ke nahi magar woh hote hain jo diloN se bante hain." It took a long time for me to learn that lesson.

After a few months, I quietly left the key to the house on the table and left the lounge. I never inquired back; no one told me anything, as talking publicly about the lounge was forbidden.

I sometimes miss and crave my beautiful time at "Bagi Lounge."

*

Aik Sentiment

Mu'aafi

"Bhai! Main ne faisla ker liya tha ke zindagi bhar us aurat ko mu'aaf nahi karun ga! 
Us ne mere ghar ko ujara tha, meri aulad ko darbadar ker diya tha...

Shuru shuru main to beech raat dukh se meri aankh khul jaya kerti aur mere dil se teer ki tarah bad-duain nikla kerti. Waqt ke saath saath karb kuch kam to huwa magar main ne usey kabhi mu'aaf nahi kiya..

Meri bad-dua us ko kiya lagi, aik ke baad aik us ki paanch auladon pe museebatoN ke pahaaR toot pare. Bari beti ki aulad aphaj ho gai, aik bete ko cancer ho gaya, dusra beta ma baap ko chor gaya, aik beti ki talaq ho gai aur manjhli beti ke ghar yake baad degre 2 auladain ho ker faut ho gai....

Bhai bad-dua main dua se ziyada asar hota hai!

Log mujhe batate ke woh tum se mu'aafi mangna chachti hai..
magar mere dil main us ke liye siwaye bud-duaon ke kuch nahi tha!

Aur phir kuch ajeeb huwa !!

Mujhe raat ki taarikioN main uski siskian sunaii deti.. 
waqt ke saath saath ye siskian barhti gai - 
aur phir aik raat mere kamre main uski aah-o-buka-o-faryad-o-giryazaari ka woh matam bapa huwa ke mere ausan khata ho gaye. 
Us ki been kerti awaz se mera dil dhal gaya..

Main ne 2 rakaa't namaz parhi aur us aurat ko mu'aaf ker diya !!!!


Hear this blogpost here

Locket

Ameeran - Anwar Bengali (here) ki choti bahen thi.

Meri umar 7 baras ho gi shayed. 

GarmioN ki chalchalati aik dopher thi. Lu (Humidity) is qadar shadeed thi ke Karachi ki saari saRkain weeraan thi. Main school se aa kar bister main dupka betha tha. Itne main, mujhe bahir Khilone bechney wale ki awaz sunaii di. Main Amma se chup ke gali main khisak aaya. Khilone waale ki ghanti sun ke Ameeran bhi gali main aa gaii. Hum tajassus se chote chote khilone dekhne lage - woh bhi aik ajeeb umar thi - har cheez se ziyada qiimti the woh 2 aane ke khiloney. Mujeh aik laal rang ki choti gaari achhi lagi magar chaar aane (quarter) sun ker hi main chup ho raha. Ameeran ko aik 'locket' pasand aaya - woh 10 paise (10 cents) ka tha. Ameeran ne mujh se kaha: "Mere paas to sirf 5 paise hain: Main ne kaha: "Tum mere 5 paise le lo". Aur, Ameeran ne hamare paise mila ke woh 'locket' khareed liya. 

Phir Anwar Bengali aur Ameeran Bengali hamara mohalla choR gaye.

BarsoN beet gaye. Jub main Residency kerne Chicago gaya to Phir sab se mulaqat hui - koi 25 baras guzar gaye the. Ameeran ki shadi ho gai thi aur 3 bachhe the. Aik din Ameeran aur us ka shohar mujhe apne ghar le gaye. Hum bohat saari batain kerte rahe. Woh mujhe apne khandan, shadi aur bachhon ki tasveerain dikhate rahe. 

Phir mujeh Ameeran ne woh 'locket' dikhaya, jo us garmi wali dopher hum ne paise mila ke kharida tha. Hum bohat hasey. Us ne ab tak woh sambhaal ke rakha tha! Mujh se Ameeran ne kaha: "Bachpan ka aik atooT lamha main ne is locket main lock ker liya hai". Pata nahi kiun, bohat dinoN tak main un khilono aur khilone bachne wale ke baare main sochta raha ....

- aur itne barsoN baad - woh baat phir mujeh yaad aa gayi jab meri beti iPad chor ker der tak apni chuRion se khelti rahi !!