(One fine evening at 'Seattle's Best Coffee,' this story was shared by an American girl born and raised in Indiana farms. After so many years, I still remember a lot of words precisely as came out of her mouth, describing her odyssey towards an understanding of love)
"My father was a stupid man. No! Let me rephrase it; my father was a soulless man. The only thing I knew about my father is that he used to go to work every morning. It was a small town of 600 people. My father used to work as a salesman in a gun shop, and I always wondered about it. Or might be, it made sense! He was a heavy man who had a lot of fat on his neck and body. After coming from work, he sat on the sofa idyll for 2/3 hours until my mom prepared supper for the night. He never went out. He had no friends. He had no hobby. He never fixed the house or did anything else. He never yelled either. I had one sister who was a nerd with heavy glasses, always occupied in her room reading books. After supper, every night, we heard heavy snoring from my father's room. But since I get puberty, I recognize another sound every night before his heavy snoring, grunting noise. He used to 'fuck’ my mother every night. There was no break even if I see dirty pads for 4/5 days in our yard's dustbin. I never heard my mother's sound. It was only his grunting noise! I don't know then why I never got more siblings, unlike other families in town.
Now I can tell why my mother was an unhappy woman! Can you blame her? This was her's life. Unlike other children, we never heard any story about how our parents got married or what they did before born. I doubt they even did anything! Sitting on the porch before my father comes from work, my mother told unending stories of her life before moving to Indiana. We never visited our grandparents. We always talked to them over the phone. I never met any of my cousins ever! My mother had two lives while my father is at work and home.
Sunday was the only day when we went out as a family to church. I doubt my father was ever interested in church, Jesus, or God. He went to church as a required social obligation. One Sunday afternoon, while my sister stayed in church's library, I went to my friend's place. There I got nature's call. I was a shy girl. I never used anyone else's bathroom. As I entered the house, I heard the same grunting sounds, very audible, although the door was closed. I realized what's going on. I peeked from a side window. My mother was half sitting on the sofa, with her dress half up. Standing, my father was busy mounting her with his shirts on but pants half down. His back was towards me, and I could see my mother's face. That one moment, I learned why my mother was an unhappy woman. She had no expressions on her face. Only her legs were dutifully spread. I don't know, she saw me or not, and I doubt she even cared about it! That expression taught me another thing - the meaning of love - as you learn from another extreme.
"Fuck” is an act done in a given time under carnal instinct and often does not require respect or even the presence of another person! But "lovemaking" is a continuous and mutual feeling of each other's company. It's the art of making another person comfortable and happy. Physical love falls naturally somewhere in between. And "orgasm" is not a wave of physical pleasure in a given moment of given time that overcomes your body but is an endless and continuous sense of bliss that occupies and overcomes one's mind!
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