On Character!

(Read on internet)

What you do, when people are watching you, is your personality.
What you do, when no one is watching you, is your character.

Aik khubsurat sher!

zindgani ki kaj-adaii  per, tabsray sab fazool hotay hein 
apni apni bisat hey sab ki, apnay apnay asool hotay hein 

 Mohsin Naqvi

On intricacies of life, useless are all explanations
each has own game, each has own postulations

Woman's Vagina

I am a stupid, rather an idiot!! It took me half of my life to learn that woman's vagina is attached to her brain. Nothing is more painful than realization that you slept with a woman who really didn't want you!

Us aurat se ziyada to woh mard bad-qismat hai, jis ke saath aurat sirf kisi zaroorat ke tahet so jaaye!

Waqt ki Qadar

When I was a kid, I was in 'Cub Scouts'. I was 11 years old. One day I was late for a meeting by a minute. My teacher holded my shoulder and said: "If you have to be here at 9.45 AM, remember 9.46 AM is considered late".

Than he said in Urdu 'Beta Waqt ki qadar nahi karo ge to waqt tumhari qadar nahi kare ga'.

Woh din aur aaj ka din - main kabhi late nahi huwa. ...

If I am late, it bothers me. But above all, it always paid me off  in life with earning respect!

(And, I guess this is the best thing I thought to my kids)

Correction of one common literary mistake!

Mir Taqi Mir famous sher

Ibtidaye-ishq hai  rota  hai  kiya 
aage aage dekhiye hota hai kiya

It is wrong. Actual sher is

Rahe-daure-ishq main rota hai kiya 
aage  aage dekhiye  hota  hai  kiya   

 Most people read first misrah as Ibtidaye-ishq hai rota hai kiya  wrong

 (per Kuliyaate-Mir by Zille Abbas Abbasi, from Fort William College original reference)                                

Challenge in Marriage

(I have an interesting profession. I meet various people from all across the world with amazing life experiences. A piece of advice from one old grandpa)

"Greatest challenge you will find in marriage is hanging with your spouse. You will always encounter people smarter, more handsome, more attractive, and even more seductive than your spouse. There would be a huge temptation, lust, and even frustration due to this with your spouse. You will feel like, with the wrong person. But once - and only once - you stray away; it is a slippery slope going into a deep ditch. If you have a spouse who is a good person, hang with them. Nothing beats that".

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On Death of 1 year old!

Sima Hui was a famous Chinese hermit (alike behlol deeewana in our folklore) . His most famous characteristic is to always say; "Good"! ( 'achha ho gaya' ya 'kher hui')

Once, a one year old baby of a family died. He said: "Very Good"! His wife chided him for that, saying, "Everyone sees you as a wise person, so they're willing to tell you their problems. Why do you say very good when someone tells you that his son had died?" Sima replied, "It's also good to hear what you've just said." Than he went on explaining: "Think of the sorrow if son would have grown as a man and died afterwards".

On 'Law of Nature!'

(One conversation after watching the movie Cloud Atlas')

"What do you mean we are not important to Nature as an individual?"

"We are mere numbers. One generation comes, give birth to another, and passes away. Like it or not! We all get old, frail, and die. No one is special to Nature. Deal with it and suck it up! Live your life to best, and when Nature calls, move your a** out of here."

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Cloud Atlas

"Cloud Atlas" is an excellent conceptual movie, though 3 hours long.

After 'Forrest Gump,' this is Tom Hank's finest performance!

The movie simultaneously carries multiple stories from multiple eras of human living, showing that we all are interconnected. Each act is interconnected. Our unfinished letters, half-read books, our unexplained dreams, etc. We all are living in a massive ball of Time. Past, present, and future are illusions. Irrespective of the time we are living and regardless of our level of civilization - what matters is human love, bonding, our heart to help each other, overcoming our inner fear - And above all, our ability to stand up for truth.

The most exciting part of the movie was the portrayal of different versions of human slavery - from classic black slavery to old age people restraints in nursing homes! - or like - emotional blackmailing as shown of one gay person by his boss. The outcomes of our endeavors may not be positive and may fail (suicide, execution, etc.) - but what matters is to keep fighting the evil with strong sustained human bondings!

A touch of science fiction was inevitable, like human cloning, etc. - but the amusing was that people in one far past era had no surprise when a ship from the future and another planet visited them!

It's an interesting watch.

Trailer here

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Litmus test

(From a lady friend who has been in the dating world for the last 20 years)

"How do you know that guy is sincere or just playing with you?"

"Over 20 years, I learned one litmus test. If a guy is willing to meet you with his family - he is sincere. If he avoids bringing families in between, he is a player. "

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explaining "Khalad"

(The following post is just a rambling description of one event. No interference is intended about the right or wrong of any religion)

I always read Quran as a book of literature! But in the process had a few interesting experiences. Let me share one! - call it my psychological manifestation!!!

A few years ago, I could not accept how some Quranic verses said you might go to hell or heaven forever! (like 2: 81-82) - Most translations for the word "khalidun" were forever. It didn't make sense to me. If heaven or hell is a reward or punishment - it should have some form of closure/end. Otherwise, the whole spiritual journey seems like trash to me. Just F**** heaven or hell can't be a logical end to a massive design of divinity? - it should be way bigger than that.

I spend many years trying to find the answer to this question. No explanation from any sage provided me with any satisfactory answer. One night - I put Quran on my bedside and went to bed - very tired.

In the middle of the night, I dreamed that snakes and deadly bugs surrounded me. My heart was pounding with fear, and I felt that this fear would never go away. I woke up sweating and thought I had a nightmare - but then I was surrounded by this feeling that my query was answered. Heaven or hell is nothing but a feeling (which seems like forever) in our heart - maybe - to continue purifying us via good deeds or to keep us away from evil deeds. Even today, when I think of that dream, fear occupies my heart like everything.

In the next few years - I learned that most translations were wrong. Khalidun originated from the word 'khalad,'' never getting old.' Rewards or punishments end, but their lesson/feeling stays young forever - and we move from one axis to another in pursuit of a bigger end. Hell or heaven is just medium of knowledge. Books/Sufism are full of this talk of the spiritual journey. Google it!

Hum  ko malum  hai  jannat  ki   haqeeqat,   lekin
Dil ke khush rakhne ko Ghlib ye khayal achha hai

DuaoN ka saaiban

Aik woh waqt tha jab Mirza Ghalib 'Dilli' ki khak chana kerte the magar darbar tak rasaai ki koi sabeel nahi ban aati thi - aur har taraf Ustad Zauq ka tooti bolta tha.

Kehte hain, Dilli ki aik gaane wali tawaif 'Nawab Jan' ko Mirza Ghalib ki ghazal pasand aa gai. Jab use Mirza ki halat ka ilm huwa to us ne Mirza se kaha: "Mere Aulia (Hazrat Nizamuddin) ne meri har Dua qabool ki hai. Hum Dua kerte hain - aik din Aap dilli ke sab se bare shayer khelain" - Dekh lijye, Ghalib se bara koi shayer paida nahi huwa.

Wese bhi kehte hain - tawaif ki dua main bara asar hota hai!!

Mujeh ye kehne main ko aar nahi ke - mujh per bhi aesi kai duaoN ka saaiban hai! - werna hamara Allah jaanta hai - hum to kab ke mar gaye hote!!


Related: Amma ki Dua

One professional advise!

When I came to this country, Dr. Vikas was my mentor in residency. He was a brotherly figure - understanding my handicaps as a foreign physician in an american system. One of his advise always guided me:

"Everyday go to your work like its your first day as well as last day simultaneously. First day - like you have to impress everyone around with your dedication and hard work. And, last day - like you don't want any chip on your shoulder and want to keep your record straight with same hard work and dedication".

(Also here, here, here, here , here, here, here, here)

$2 Bill

"Unconditional" is a low budget 'bible belt type' movie based on a true story of a Tennessee man with renal failure who devoted his life for betterment of kids in projects! (youtube trailer here)

It is a regular movie which conveys the message of love and I doubt it deserves any review but one theme was very touchy as well as amusing in that movie - rather was the most glossy face of the movie!

"Love is like a $2 Bill - you seldom see it. Though it is rare but it is there. Tragedy is that, when we find it we don't value it and let it go. Next time when you find $2 bill - keep it and gift it to someone you love. It will make a mark".

(Personally, since I saw this movie I am still looking for it but haven't found it. Damn! these credit cards!!)

Aik kutba (anokha sa)!

Huwe mar ke hum jo ruswa, huwe kyon na garq-e-dariya 

Na   kabhi   janaaza    uthta,   na   kahin   mazaar   hota

(click to enlarge)

On 'Nafse-Lawwama' (human consciousness)

Years ago - when it was a liberal Pakistan, I was once given an unique lesson by a pure bearded Mualvi. It was Baqr Eid and I had to accompany a friend in a very low socio-economic area of Karachi. I had never heard of that area before called ramswami. At my friend's relative house we met a pure bearded mullah. He was young though, in his 30s. At that time I was pure agnostic and was highly allergic to religious people. But what he said, amazed me and I never forgot his lesson. I was a medical student and he kept calling me Sir!

"Sir! Qayamat ke din hisab is baat se nahi hoga ke aapne kitne bakre kaate, kitni qurbani ki.  Sir! hisab is baat se bhi nahi hoga ke aapne kitni namazain parhi, kitne roze rakhe, kitne Haj kiye ya kitni kheraat ki. Sir! ye sab to 'Supplements' hain! In sab ka sawab added ho ga, - Magar Sir! aap ko pata hai hisab ki kasoti kiya hogi?" - "Sir! hisab is baat se hoga ke aap ne apni zameer ki awaz pe kitna dhiyan dhara!!...Sir! Quran ki aik surah hai 'Surah Qayamat'. Us main khuda Qayamat ke saath saath insaan ke 'nafse-lawwama' ki qasam khata hai. Aap ko pata hai 'nafse-lawwama' kiya hai? Sir! 'Nafse-Lawwama' insan ke zameer ko kehte hain. ...Na to khuda ne 'Nafse-Ammara' ki qasam khai aur na hi 'Nafse-Mutmainna' ki.....Ye dekhain Sir! (us ne mujeh Quran ki 75:1-2 ayat khol ke dikhai)...Sir! mujeh to yahi samjh aata hai ke jab Khuda Qayamat ke saath Insaan ke Zameer ki qasam khata hai to  sab se bari azmaish khud isaan ka zameer hai....Sir! aap samjh rahe hain na, main kiya keh raha hun"?

Aik purani kahawat!

I have unique interest in old sayings (kahawat) - as I believe they tell realities (or should I say brutalities) of life in one line.

Hamari Dadi ki pasandeeda kahawat thi: "Ghar ghar matti ke chuleh hain"*

Matlab ye tha - ke har ghar main koi na koi an-baab, nagawaar cheez ya laraai - hoti rehti hai. Apne ghar ki - ya kisi aur ghar ki - burai kerna koi aqalmandi nahi. 


* (every house has fragile stove).