That 'Sweet Pakistani Muslim Virgin Boy"

(A tale from past - just a nostalgia)

Jab pehli dafa America ke liye rawana huwa to Amma ne woh thoons thoons ke suit case bhara ke use band kerne ke liye char aadmioN ki zaroorat par gai!

'Gulf Airline' ki flight jab ghumte ghumte finally London paunchi to saare PakistanioN ko alag ker diya gaya aur kaha gaya ke phir se 'immigration, check-in aur boarding' hoga --- marta kiya na kerta  ---- Bhari bharkam bag ghasseete ghassette counter pe pauncha. Kaandhe pe woh saman alag tha jo chalte waqt logon ne apne piyaroN ke liya laad diya tha.

On other side of the counter was sitting a purely refined fully British accent white woman of mid-30s. And on this side of the counter I was - a Urdu medium, hungry, sleep deprived and confused Pakistani!

Usne pehle to kuch 'regular questions' pooche, passport ulta sidha ker ke dekha aur phir poocha: "Who packed your bag?". Main ne jawab diya: "My mother".....Uske chehre pe aik muskurahat aayi aur usne poocha: "Do you know what did she pack?". Main ne apni desi angrezi main jawab diya to uski muskurahat aur barh gai, aur boli: "So are you that sweet Pakistani Muslim virgin kind of boy?". Meri samjah main kuch nahi aaya. Main ne poocha, bag kholun? ... Meri baat sun ker usne zor ka qehqaha lagaya aur boli: "Why? Your mom packed some bangles for me?" .....Angrezi main itna 'sense of humor' nahi tha..... Main hunnaqoN ki tarah uska muN dekhta raha. Woh phir boli: "No its Ok, wish you good luck. I hope you stay sweet virgin boy."

Woh "'Sweet Pakistani Muslim virgin boy", jo NY main apni pehli raat chat (roof) ko ghoorte soch raha tha ke - woh ghar walon ke bagair - America ki is haibatnaak duniya main kese 'survive' karega - bilakhir kahiN gumnaam maut maara gaya!

Sochta hun kiya 'internet' aur 'globalization' ki is duniya main is waqt, is ghari bhi koi ' "Sweet Pakistani Muslim Virgin Boy" Heathrow Airport pe confuse, aane wali nai zindagi se khaufzada betha hoga! (do such boys still exist?) - aur baar baar apna bazoo tatolta hoga ke - chalte waqt Amma ne kaha tha ke - dar lage to imam zamin ko haat laga lena!


You may hear this post below:

Movie 43

I have never seen such an abnormal movie! You don't need heart, you need balls to see this movie!

Movie 43 is a highly out of norm, extremely sarcastic and at some points nauseating movie - which make you gag on the realities of life! If you get it - you will thoroughly enjoy it - otherwise you may walk out in the middle of the movie. Its that abnormal. It is a collection of 12 small short stories poking fun on harsh realities of life.

• If you have money - nobody cares even if your balls are literary hanging in your neck!
• How much we destroy our children by raising them protective as hovering parents, trying to teach them harsh realities of life inside house.
• How everything is about money when fairy angel says: 'I suck d*** for gold coins'!
• In 'dating mode' people do any truth or dare thing to impress other - just to make themselves more ugly!
• How this whole 'Apple" generation is screwed by commercialization of gadgets.
• How words make difference  - Shit is bad but Poop is acceptable!
• When a young girl goes through the most crucial phase of her life, men do not care - they are only worried about their own farts!
• Its not about Teamwork! - Its all about  "Whites and Blacks" (Commentary on racial bias in society).
• Someone may come up to screw your life and your relationship. You rightly get angry but at the end its you who bear all the blames and become a loser!
• How we abuse machines - though machines are just like kids!

It has long cast including Richard Gere, Kate Winslet, Emma Stone, Halle Berry etc.

Wapas!

"Tum ne mujhe itne dher saare paise de diye, aur kabhi wapas bhi nahi maange?"

"Hum Yahya Basri* ke manne wale log hain, hum aik dafa jo cheez de dain woh wapas nahi liya kerte"


*A sufi of 13th century whose tale is now hard to find in historical books.

Joota (shoes) - from Minto

Another 4 liner masterpiece of Saadat Hasan Minto.

On "Rejecting sex in Marriage"

(Listened at one self-help lecture)

"As marriage gets old, sex becomes very secondary. Kids, careers, chores, bills, in-laws, house, kitchen, etc.! Sex takes the last spot. This sense that a spouse's physical body is there is enough to satisfy libido! A dangerous situation arises when your spouse makes a move to have intimate moments, but you feel run down. Rejecting their sexual advance right out creates negative feedback, trauma to ego, and a sense of rejection. And over time, marriage becomes asexual. About 20% or more marriages of healthy people in the USA have become asexual. So what to do if your spouse wants sex but you don't? Best to stay with them, hug and hold hands. Be honest and share your reason not to have intimacy. Nothing is more dangerous than walking away or going to the other edge of the bed............Trust me, they know you don't have a headache."

*

On 'Fatherhood'

(When I became a father for first time, one of my mentor said a beautiful thing)

"I am 65. My father died years ago. On other side my kids are grown and gone. There is only one thing which matters for a man, at the end. If your children remember you as a 'one good man' who lived an honorable and honest life, they will cherish and respect your fatherhood, despite any of your flaw they know".

Zindagi - aik Pied Piper

(Was thinking about 'Pied Piper' since read Aisha's post: 'Neighbors, newborns, and the prospect of letting go' (here)

Bachpan se bohat khaniyaN suni hain, magar aaj bhi aik kahani yaad aati hai to dar sa jaata hun..soch main par jaata hun!

Agar aap ne 'Pied Piper' ki khahani nahi parhi to zaroor parhiye.......Kahani yun to lambi hai magar mukhtasar ye ke..........

Inglistan ke kisi qasbe main aik dafa aik 'Piped Piper' aata hai. Woh aesi meethi dhun bajata hai ke - sab bacche us dhun ke peeche chal parte hain. Yahan kahani khatam ho jaati hai.....Na to 'Pied Piper' ki dhun phir sunai deti hai aur na kabhi bachhe phir laut ke aate hain.... Kehte hain 'Piped Piper' gaun gaun yunhi phirta hai!

Zindagi bhi aik 'Pied Piper' hai. Hum samjhete hain ye bachhe hamare hain - magar hamare piyar se ziyada meethi us 'Pied Piper' ki dhun hai jo unhe aik din saath le jaati hai

Trolling in relationship!

(A friend shared her grief/story)

What destroyed my marriage was Trolling. We never got divorce. We were separated for a while, been together again but things are not same as before.

Should I blame Facebook? I start trolling friends on my husband's Facebook account, which led to start trolling his cell phone bill. While he was asleep in bedroom, I start trolling his texts. One suspicion leads to more trolling and more suspicions. I discovered, my husband has an email account which I was not aware. I installed spy software on computer and discovered he has a private bank account, which led to more distrust. I start noting his car mileage and start checking his briefcase, GPS etc. etc. We start having fights. He became more insecure and start hiding more. His private email was to receive dirty jokes from friends, which  he was just uncomfortable to share with me after once I scolded him for no reason in first week of marriage. His bank account was to send money to his married sister whom I disliked.

Don't troll. It does not help! My advise? Don't touch other's computer, phone or draws....

People don't change, they just change modus operandi. They will do what they want to do.

RIP Irfan Khudi Ali

Irfan died in bomb blast while rescuing injured from first blast in Quetta which killed more than 100 Hazara Shias. Irfan was not only a key board warrior like tons of fake people on facebook, twitter etc. but he had courage to go out and raise voice.  - Hum jo tareek rahoN main maare gaye. If tomorrow - (if) - Pakistan sees a better future, there should be a statue of Irfan's name somewhere.

Silver Linings Playbook

During this Christmas and new year, there were so many good new movies. One movie which went relatively unnoticed but had an unusual theme was 'Silver Linings Playbook'. This is a story of apparently 2 psychologically unbalanced individuals who on first glance seems crazy - pure nuts. But as movie unfolds we come to know that they had significant relationship trauma which threw them off the cliff.

 Pat (played by handsome Bradley Cooper - what an actor) has bipolar disease as a baseline who thrives and survives on love of his wife - but one day he catches his wife in shower having sex on his favorite  wedding song. He ends up in mental institution.

 Tiffany (played by Jennifer Lawrence) - a very smart girl, who also loved her husband very much but still not ready to get pregnant. One day as her husband driving back from 'Victoria Secrets' with sexy lingerie so he can make out with his wife, gets hit by another car, and dies. She get so paranoid about avoiding love making with her husband now, that she go on rampage by having sex with every one at her place of work. She not only looses her job but also her credibility in small town, where everybody knows everybody.

 This movie is all about how cruelty of life can threw people off the hook. You never know! Mind is a fragile thing with a single red line!

 Robert De Niro is awesome and finding Anupam Kher in a Hollywood flick is a pleasant surprise.

 Trailer here

P;S: Amir Khan again proved his self in his new flick 'Talash'!

On 'Power of Giving"

If you knew what I know about the power of giving, you would not let a single meal pass without sharing it in some way. -  Buddha

On 'Day to Day Living'

Sometime life can be a real B**** (with upper case/capital letter!). Found this interesting quote from a book I recently read. Dr.Brene' Brown's, 'The Gifts of Imperfection'

"Today, I am going to believe that showing up is enough"! 

On 'Hymenoplasty' / 'Erectile Dysfuntion'

On my previous post "Hymenoplaty" (here), Received following comment from TT.

".... Let me give you the flip side. I met a boy through family connection. We get married after few outings (dates?). First 3 months were fine. Than I discovered kit hidden in closet with Testosterone shots and packets of Cialis. I was heartbroken, not because of his sexual problem but because he didn't tell me. I googled and found that Testosterone may decrease the chances of fertility. I confronted him. He was only 32. It hurted his manly ego. He went defensive. Unfortunately, things quickly went out of hand. He divorced me. In counseling, I was told - this problem is common in men even in young's.  I could have bear it, if he would have trusted me. I would have gone to doctors with him. I saw your other posts on 'jhoot', lies and relationship.

Can't agree more with the girl who said: "Jhoot pe palne wale rishte se behtar hai woh rishta, jo toot jaaye".

Correction to common literary mistake - 2

99% of people think that following sher belongs to Allama Iqbal

Tundiye-baad-mukhalif se na ghabra aye uqab
Ye to   chalti   hai  tujhe  ooncha urane ke liye

This sher in actuality belongs to a relatively unknown poet - Syed Sadiq Hussain Shah Qazmi. This is from his collection "barg-e-sabz". This sher is written on his kutba. He died on May 4, 1989. He said this sher early in his career and due to mention of uqab, people connect it with Iqbal.