From the position of F*** You

 

Deceiving people

 

Cross!

"، ڈاکٹر داؤد رہبر نے پچاس کی دہائی میں قیام انقرہ کے دوران بپتسمہ لے لیا تھا ۔ ن م راشد صاحب نے کسی موقع پر ان سے کہا کہ باتوں اور خیالات سے تم ہم جیسے ہو، پھر یہ مسیحیت کا کیا پاکھنڈ بنا رکھا ہے ۔ رہبر صاحب نے دل چسپ جواب دیا جو کچھ یوں تھا کہ میں بطور انسان اندر سے بہت کم زور ہوں اور مجھے مایوسی کی انتہا پر پہنچ کر پاگل ہونے یا خود کشی سے بچنے کے لیے ایک نفسیاتی سہارا درکار ہوتا ہے۔ میں نے مارکیٹ میں دست یاب خدا کے جملہ ماڈلز پر نظر ڈالی تو سب سے زیادہ مجھے اس خدا نے اپنی جانب کھینچا جو میری نجات کی خاطر بے قصور سولی پر چڑھ گیا ، سو ۔۔" 

A letter to women - What makes men fall in love

 darlin'... I've talked about this, but I'll try to really bring it home

Most men aren’t sitting around with a scoreboard rating sexual techniques.

What we remember, what floors us, is the connection we feel with the woman we’re with.

Mind-blowing sex isn’t a trick. It’s not a move.

It’s the experience of being wanted, respected, and safe enough to let our guard down.

We guys don’t talk about this out loud, but here’s the real answer:

The best sex a man ever has is with a woman who actually likes him. Not performs for him. Not competes with ghosts.

Likes him. 

... that's it. No 'hacks', no internet 'tricks.'

A lot of women think they have to “do more” to keep a man’s interest. But what men crave more than technique is presence, someone who’s not treating intimacy like an audition.

If you really want to blow his mind?

Be confident in your own desire.

Nothing is sexier than a woman who knows she wants him and isn’t performing.

It's sooo true... 

Be responsive.

Men want to feel the effect they’re having on you. That’s what gets in our head forever.

.. we may be less emotionally intelligent... 

Communicate.

A simple “that feels good,” or “I love when you…” does more than any secret move in a magazine.

Match his pace, not porn’s. Men can sense when a woman is doing what she thinks she’s supposed to do rather than what she wants.

Let it be fun, not perfect.

Men remember laughter, comfort, chemistry.... not technique. 

A man doesn’t stay because the sex is the best he’s ever had.

He stays because the connection is the best he’s ever had.

If he’s into you, even simple sex is phenomenal.

If he’s not, even “mind-blowing” sex won’t make him stay.

So give him presence.

Give him honesty.

Give him the version of you that isn’t trying to compete with imaginary women.

 — not a trick, not a move, but you.

I wish more women understood this about a man

On psychology of addiction

 A gambler who loses repeatedly yet continues to play even when the game is clearly against them. It is not that they misunderstand the odds; instead, the very proximity to ruin, the tension of almost‑winning, and the ritual of play are all sites of jouissance. The drive is scopic and invocatory here—the visual scene of cards and machines, the sounds of the casino—sustaining a circuit that does not want to conclude

- Lacan

A lesson from Imran Khan Captaincy

Saleem Malik on a TV interview.

 “In one of the Tests, the wickets were falling all around me but I was the only one batting very well. I was the top scorer. After I was dismissed, everyone applauded my innings, except for the captain, Imran Khan. He, in fact, was very mad with me. I was surprised and asked him why he was upset with me. He said, ‘all of us were having difficulty batting on that pitch but you were the only one who was reading the pitch very well, and playing confidently; then why did you play such a bad shot to get out. You had lots of responsibility on your shoulders, but you failed to deliver. Had you continued to bat, we would have saved the Test. You cost us the match.”

When you are in a privileged position, it brings a great deal of responsibility.

What all matters - is Dream

 

Belong....

 

Raymond - The parking attendent

 "My name's Raymond. I'm 73. I work the parking lot at St. Joseph's Hospital. Minimum wage, an orange vest, and a whistle I barely use. Most people don't even look at me. I'm just the old man waving cars into spaces.

But I see everything.

Like the black sedan that circled the lot every morning at 6 a.m. for three weeks, a young man driving, grandmother in the passenger seat. Chemotherapy, I figured. He'd drop her at the entrance, then spend 20 minutes hunting for parking, missing her appointments.

One morning, I stopped him. "What time tomorrow?"

"6:15," he said, confused.

"Space A-7 will be empty. I'll save it."

He blinked. "You... you can do that?"

"I can now," I said.

The next morning, I stood in A-7, holding my ground as cars circled angrily. When his sedan pulled up, I moved. He rolled down his window, speechless. "Why?"

"Because she needs you in there with her," I said. "Not out here stressing."

He cried. Right there in the parking lot.

Word spread quietly. A father with a sick baby asked if I could help. A woman visiting her dying husband. I started arriving at 5 a.m., notebook in hand, tracking who needed what. Saved spots became sacred. People stopped honking. They waited. Because they knew someone else was fighting something bigger than traffic.

But here's what changed everything: A businessman in a Mercedes screamed at me one morning. "I'm not sick! I need that spot for a meeting!"

"Then walk," I said calmly. "That space is for someone whose hands are shaking too hard to grip a steering wheel."

He sped off, furious. But a woman behind him got out of her car and hugged me. "My son has leukemia," she sobbed. "Thank you for seeing us."

The hospital tried to stop me. "Liability issues," they said. But then families started writing letters. Dozens. "Raymond made the worst days bearable." "He gave us one less thing to break over."

Last month, they made it official. "Reserved Parking for Families in Crisis." Ten spots, marked with blue signs. And they asked me to manage it.

But the best part? A man I'd helped two years ago, whose mother survived, came back. He's a carpenter. Built a small wooden box and mounted it in the reserved spaces. Inside? Prayer cards, tissues, breath mints, and a note,

"Take what you need. You're not alone. -Raymond & Friends"

People leave things now. Granola bars. Phone chargers. Yesterday, someone left a hand-knit blanket.

I'm 73. I direct traffic in a hospital parking lot. But I've learned this: Healing doesn't just happen in operating rooms. Sometimes it starts in a parking space. When someone says, "I see your crisis. Let me carry this one small piece."

So pay attention. At the grocery checkout, the coffee line, wherever you are. Someone's drowning in the little things while fighting the big ones.

Hold a door. Save a spot. Carry the weight no one else sees.

It's not glamorous. But it's everything." 

Dark side of the Colosseum

People go to Rome to see the Colosseum - very touristy -, but it has nothing but a dark side in its basement - prisoners and women from the streets.

 - From the Old Colosseum, 1888. painting by Danish artist Valdemar Irminger

 

Achhe log

کہتے ہیں، سب سے اچھی دعا یہ ہے کہ 

تمہیں زندگی میں اچھے لوگ ملیں

 

Otrovert

 A new term is up in the personality world: "otrovert."

Coined by psychiatrist Dr. Rami Kaminski, it describes people who feel like perpetual outsiders, not quite introverts, not quite extroverts, but something entirely different.

Unlike introverts (who recharge alone) or extroverts (who recharge with people), otroverts energize themselves by thinking their own thoughts. They don’t feel tied to any group, trend, or social expectation. They’re observers, free thinkers, and deeply independent.

They’re often warm, kind, funny, and great conversationalists, but usually connect deeply with only a few people. They’re not interested in what “everyone” is doing, don’t need validation, and typically prefer meaningful one-on-one conversations over group activities.

Some people discover they’re otroverts later in life. Others only realize it when a partner, friend, or article finally gives them a name for what they've always felt.

If this resonates, you might be an otrovert… or you might know someone who is.

Life's 80/20 Principle

 

Each day!

 

So well said!

 

Life is Purposeless!!

 

Turtle Theory

 

Lessons of life - Surah Yousuf

 

Helping while people are alive

 

Reflection on the Psychology of C***old Fantasy

 The following post is highly rated - You are free to ignore it.

It has been a long time since I stopped hanging out with friends at bars for happy hours. Last weekend, I was for a 'boys night out'. As Saadat Hasan Manto said:

Our conversation moved to sexual kinks, adventures, and fantasies. We were all shocked when one of the friends acknowledged his cuckold fantasy. He is a huge 6'2 guy with heavy muscles, and we have heard of a long list of girls having a crush on him. That's how he explained:

I’ve spent a long time trying to understand why the cuckold dynamic pulls at me the way it does, and what it’s actually trying to resolve inside me. It’s easy for people to write it off as humiliation or insecurity, but that’s surface-level thinking. The reality is more layered, more personal, and honestly, more revealing than anyone wants to admit.

For me, the core of it isn’t about another man at all.

It’s about confronting the parts of myself I don’t show openly — desire, vulnerability, jealousy, ego, devotion, fear, trust — all in one place. Strangely, the fantasy becomes a mirror. It reflects back things I’ve pushed down, ignored, or never had the space to acknowledge. Part of me wants to feel undone a little, like I’m peeling away the performance of masculinity I’ve worn for years. Another part wants to test myself, to stand in the middle of emotions most people won’t even let themselves name. The jealousy, the surrender, the intensity of wanting someone so much that I’m willing to feel uncomfortable — that says more about me than the fantasy itself.

And there’s the truth nobody talks about: It makes me confront my values. Not in a way that diminishes me, but in a way that forces me to separate worth from control. It pushes me to ask:

Do I love for possession or for connection?
Is my desire rooted in ego or in vulnerability?
Can I handle seeing my partner fully chosen by someone else, even if just in my mind?
What happens to me emotionally when I’m no longer the center?

There’s a strange kind of honesty in facing those questions. A peculiar kind of freedom, too. And deep down, I think the fantasy attempts to resolve one central tension inside me: I want to love without holding on so tightly that I crush the thing I’m trying to keep. It’s not about watching. It’s about facing who I am when I’m stripped of control, ego, and assumption. That’s the part that hits hardest. That’s the part the fetish is trying to reach. And maybe… resolve.

Wow! Loved this!

 

True Friends

 

Human psychology on life and death

 

Blessings!

 

Carl Sagan on Government's responsibilities and societies

 

Rekha and her Urdu

 

Theaters

 Netflix didn't kill movie theaters. $25 popcorn did, and $12 soda did. (Read on Facebook)

I used to be a movie junkie. Get tired of their manipulations..

Plague

I love the videos from this talented man, named Varun Grover

 

Why do I blog

 In 2006, an English teacher asked her high school students to write letters to famous authors. Only one replied: Kurt Vonnegut, then 84 years old.

He could have just thanked them politely. Instead, he gave them one of the most powerful lessons of his life:

“Practice any art… no matter how well or badly. Not to get money or fame, but to experience becoming, to find out what’s inside you, to make your soul grow.”

He urged them to dance, sing, draw, make faces in mashed potatoes—anything that brought life alive. Then he gave them an assignment: write a six-line poem, make it as good as possible, and then tear it up. The reward, he explained, was not in showing it to anyone, but in having created it at all.

Vonnegut died the following year, but his message remains timeless: the value of art is not in recognition, but in the simple, joyful act of making something—for your soul.

An alternate view on health and wealth

(A text from a friend: though not entirely agree, but makes sense up to a certain level)

I believe that the old saying "health is wealth" exists mainly to keep the less fortunate content with their circumstances. I argue the opposite, that wealth is health. With wealth comes the means to live a longer, more fulfilling life, which is why people in North America, Europe, Japan, Denmark, and Australia enjoy greater longevity and well-being.

An African Proverb

 If you see a rat dancing in front of a cat, know that there's a hole nearby.

African proverb

Darde Dil

“عبادت فرشتہ تو بنا سکتی ہے، لیکن انسان نہیں بنا سکتی۔انسان تو درد سے بنتا ہے

”۔واصف علی واصف 

Dog's love

 Having a dog as a pet has been universal among humans for ages. This is probably due to the unconditional love dogs show.

Last week, one of my colleagues' dogs died. Someone offered an interesting console.

"It is said that 7 years of a human life is equivalent to one year of a dog's life. This is because dogs have 7 times as much love in their hearts as humans. Humans need seven times as many dogs as a pet to understand one dog's love! If your dog has died, let's get another dog so you continue to appreciate the beauty of love; dogs are trying to teach us."

One marker of raising good kids

 I think this is an interesting perspective on raising good children, particularly in the Western world.

"If your child calls, texts, or reaches out to his grandparents - without your advice - to convey happy birthday or congratulations or any other sentiments - be assured you have raised a good kid."

One Sane Advice

اچھی سگریٹ پیئں، خاموشی کو اپنائیں، مولویوں کے باتوں میں نہ آئیں۔ اچھا سا میوزک سنئیے، لوگوں کو سنجیدگی سے نہ لیں،

 اپنے جذبات کو بڑھا چڑھا کر پیش نہ کریں، پرسکون رہیں۔

اگر کسی کا کوا سفید ہے تو اسے سفید ہی رہنے دیں کالا ثابت کرنے کی کوشش نہ کریں، اگر کوئی یہ تسلیم کرچکا ھے کہ ہاتھی درخت پر بیٹھا ہے تو اس کے ہاتھی کو نیچے اتارنے میں اپنا وقت، جذبات اور اپنے الفاظ ضائع نہ کریں۔

اپنی مرضی کے خلاف کسی کو خوش نہ کریں، آپ کی ایک ہی زندگی ہے جو بہت قیمتی ہے اسے سستے لوگوں کے لیے ضائع نہ کریں۔

اپنے آپ کو خوش رکھیں، اپنا خیال رکھیں، آپ خود کے لیے بہت ضروری ہیں، اپنے آپ کے لیے خود کو بہت اہم رکھیں، اپنی پہلی ترجیح اپنا آپ رکھیں اور آزادانہ زندگی گزاریں۔ 

A beautiful Shyr

مجھے رکھ گرفت فریب میں

تیرا جھوٹ بھی مجھے راس ہے

'Disappointing’ those closest to us

Charlie Sheen is getting candid about the turning point that led to his sobriety and the moment he knew he had to change. The actor, once known for his heavy drug and alcohol use, has been sober nearly eight years. After years of addiction and public turmoil, Sheen said he got sober after realizing the impact his lifestyle was having on both his health and those around him. 

In recent years, he’s spoken about the shame he associates with those years of his life and about turning his life around since getting sober in 2017. A large part of that, he said, was rebuilding relationships with those closest to him. 

 "I didn’t feel that I was available to the people that count on me the most and available in a way that they came to rely on, but then had to make adjustments based on my choices," he said.

Full Link:

https://www.foxnews.com/media/charlie-sheen-gets-brutally-honest-about-moment-he-got-sober-after-disappointing-those-closest-him 

The death of Art!

 

I agree on that..

Many may not agree, but usually, once in a relationship, if there is a breakup, it is wise to move on..

 

 

Value of Consistency