hat lady

I am blogging now almost for 6 years and I consistently follow very few blogs. Out of all bloggers - I found 2 boys very distinct in their outlook and perspective on life. Very intelligent chaps. One is Nabeel (I think he is in Chicago) and other is Adnan (I guess he is in Canada).

Adnan has rare quality of expressing things in few words. He is a master of one liner. He can see things which we can't! With his permission I am putting his latest post here.

"The wind caught the tip of her hat. The hat danced on her head for a mere second before flying off with the wind. The distance grew further and further between the hat and her outstretched arms. The look on her face was as if a part of her had died. We are still not sure which part."

Stuff! - A note from life

I lost couple of my bags and about 10 boxes during move about 15 months ago. Somehow they came back. Interestingly though I was very attached to them I realized I never needed them (at all)! And actually I threw half of the stuff in trash........HAHAHAHA. We all are collection masters and we carry stuff around...jese gadhe ki peeth pe bojh.

Sab thath para reh jawe ga jub laad chale ga banjara

Guilt!

(A true instance from my early days in USA)

I was on 15 hours bus ride on Grayhound going from Detroit to NY. I had 5 bucks left in my pocket. I didn't know what I would do if a person in Manhattan refuse to give me space. I had to save my bucks for subway rides in NY. It was Youngstown, Ohio where I could not take my hunger anymore and decide to spend  2 dollars to get a sandwich from a vending machine. As bus departs - I was shocked to see - by mistake I got Ham sandwich. Tears rolled over my eyes. I struggled for next 2/3 hours to debate should I eat pork. Finally I could not take it anymore and ate sandwich but that guilt haunted me for years till I develop intellectual strength to see I was right that day.

Andekhi quwatoN ke ghere main
InsaaN phir bhi kathere maiN

Births

"Do you think woman who gives natural birth to a child loves her kid more than the woman who goes through C-section because she never experienced that pain and climax of pregnancy?"

Gussa

Apni residency ke baad main ne yahan blog pe apni pehli job ke 2/3 'interesting' logoN ka zikar kiya hai (Rick Osman, Velona, Behroz etc.) Unhi dinoN meri mulaqat aik Indian sahab Mr. Anil se hui. Naam bhi Anil tha aur shakal bhi Anil kapoor jesi thi. Umer koi 50-55 ke aas paas hogi.

Anil sahab apni mun boli beti ko hospital se pick aur drop kerne aate the. Woh hamare hospital main clinical rotation ker rahi thi. Unki kahani unki zabani suniye:

"America aa ke jub kuch paise jama huwe to main ne aik chota sa 'steak house' restaurant kharida. Meri biwi ne mera poora saath diya. Hamara restaurant khub chalne laga. Main kafi khushal zindagi guzarne laga. Rupe paisoN ko koi kami na rahi. Meri do betiyaN thi. Mera bara shoq tha ke dono betiyon ko doctor banauN. Meri betiyan parhai main kamzor thiN is liye yahan US main admission nahi mil raha tha. Kisi ke mashware pe main ne un dono ko caribbean ke aik medical school main daakhil kerwa diya. Yun to main america main rehta tha magar 'indian values' ke muamle main bohat 'conservative' the. Aik saal ke baad jub meri aik beti ki birthday thi to hum ne unhe 'surprise' dene ka faisla kiya. Apni beti ke ghar ki aik chaabi (key) main ne 'as a precaution' apne paas rakh li thi. Jub wahan paunche to - "I was shattered to see my one daughter sleeping with a black guy (kala meri beti ke saath soye - yahi mere liye kaafi tha). I also found drugs on table. I crossed red line in my head.....Main gusse main wehshi aur junooni ho gaya. Jo haat main aaya us se beti ko peetna shuru ker diya. Police aa gai....I was thrown in jail....But the sadest part is that my daughter died after few days in hospital. I was jailed for 10 years. Making long story short my other daughter came back to USA. I, my wife and my other daughter went through extensive psychotherapy. Jo nuqsan hona tha woh to ho gaya magar main ne faisla kiya jub tuk mere paas daulat hai - har saal aik indian larki jo khud doctor banna chahe ko doctor banuN ga - shayed meri mari hui beti mujeh muaf ker sake."

Is kahani ke kai pehlu hain - zabardasti apni marzi aulad pe thopna, caribbean medical schools itself (?), reacting to teenagers mistake, racism toward blacks........

Gussa bari bhyanak shey hai. Jitni kahaniyaN likho kum hai.

ilme-riyazi ke sawalon ki tarah tha

Beauty of internet is that you meet people with talents all the time! I recently bumped Rida's poetry on blogs. I found following very interesting.

خوابوں کی طرح تھا نہ خیالوں کی طرح تھا

وہ علمِ ریاضی کے سوالوں کی طرح تھا

اُلجھا ہوا اتنا کہ کبھی کُھل نہیں پایا

سُلجھا ہوا ایسا کہ مثالوں کی طرح تھا

(He was neither like dreams nor like thoughts
He was like equations of maths
complicated as so - hard to solve
complete as so - ideal to cite)
 
You can read her blog here

127 hours (and others)

On this blog, I frequently comment on "zara hat ke" movies (off beat/art movies) as I believe they truly portray Zindagi Ki Diary!

I went to see new Hollywood flick "127 hours". It is a true story (book = Between a Rock and a Hard Place) of an avid but little careless (la-ubali) hiker. The incident happened in April 2003 in mountains of Utah when his right arm gets stuck/crush between 2 rocks. In the next 127 hours while fighting to save his life with one packet of snack and only 400 ml of water he re-examines his life. Near death his biggest regret is ignoring his loved ones on small matters like not returning his mom phone calls, not telling anyone where he is going, fighting with his girlfriend, escaping his sister's wedding. Also, he cherishes small moments he spent with his family and friends. It gives us a message that - in the end, nothing matters except moments spend with loved ones! On a side note, this movie is produced by famous British director Donny Boyle of Slumdog Millionaire fame. And so music is by AR Rehman.  

OTHERS:

1. If you are still young (in the heart) and like a light romantic comedy - don't miss "love and other drugs". Full paisa wasool film. (Caution - huge sexual content/nudity). 

2. Another comedy "Due Date" is also great! Just fun! Robert Downey Jr. is probably the sexiest actor in Hollywood right now! 

3. Bollywood's "Guzarish" is a little off beat movie - but famous director Sanjay Leela Bhansali failed to create a climax and emotional drama associated with the issue of euthanasia. Hirthik Roshan is a bad pick for this movie. He failed miserably. Shah Rukh would have done much better. But Ashwariya Rai is prettier than before and did awesome acting. She looks so graceful and its worth to spend money because of her. 

Najmul Hasan

Najmul Hasan mere paros ki 'building' main rehta tha. Uska taaluq Bangladesh se tha. Main ne Chicago main pehli dafa gaari kharidi to jese mujhe par lag gaye. Main har sham 'Michigan Lake' ki drive pe nikalta. Koi saath aaye na aaye Najmul Hasan mere saath ho leta. Dhimi tabiyat ka aadmi tha. Hum kehte - ya saala jawani main hi buddha ho gaya hai. Jub Najmul Hasan ne bhi gaari kharidi to sab ne sir pakar liye. Hum kehte - dekhna! ise kisi din slow driving kerne pe ticket mile gi. Mere jub 2/4 accident huwe to mujhe samjhata ke - tezraftari se tumhari hi nahi bulke dusroN ki jaanoN ko bhi khatra hota hai. Gaari ahtiyat se chalaya karo...main uski suni ansuni ker deta.

Chicago chorne ke kuch arse baad aik roz - New York ki parhioN main - aik 'turn' lete huwe meri gaari ulat gai. Gaari ka haal dekh ker koi ye nahi keh sakta tha ke jaan bachi ho gi. Magar Allah ki qasam - aik kharash tuk na aai. Us din Najmul Hasan bohat yaad aaya jo hur 'turn' pe apne makhsoos bengali lehje main kehta - 'seeloww'!

Zindagi chalti rahi. Sab dost idhar udhar ho gaye. Kuch saalon pehle pata chala Najmul Hasan Arkansas ke kisi bohat hi chote town main reh raha hai. Hum ne kaha - wahin theek hai!

Peechle hafte mujh pe ye khabar kisi bijli se kum na thi ke - saal pehle Najmul Hasan ka aik chote se signal pe accident ho gaya. Magar aesa bhayanak accident ke Najmul Hasan ki aik taang kaatni pari. "Severe intracranial bleed" ki wajah se mahinoN hospital aur Rehab main raha. Uski biwi use phir Bangladesh le gai hai jahan physical therapy hoti hai magar saari zindagi kaam kaaj kerne se maazoor ho gaya hai.

Ye Zindagi saali bari harami hai. Jo is ki toqeer kare, aksar use hi zillat ka tauq pehna deti hai.

P Power!

(From one woman)

If woman knows how to hang between man's leg - man will give-up 'anything' for her - kids, career, wife, family, hobby - you name it!

Insaan bara kamina hai!

Insaan bara kamina hai!

Main poora din par ke sota raha. Shaam 'eid milan' party main khush-gupiaN kerta raha aur raat ko mehfil-musiqi main saroor ke maze lotta raha.

'Aankh tub khuli' jub Amma ne dusre din poocha: "Beta! kul tumhare Abbu ki barsi thi - umeed hai tum ne sadqa de ker nafal ki do namzain parh li hongi"!

Mere baap ko mare abhi 7 baras bhi nahi huwe magar unki yaad duniya-daari ke meloN aur jameloN main kahiN aese mehv ho ker reh gai ke main unhe bhool hi gaya. Insaan bara kamina hai. Apne baap ko bhi bhul jaata hai!

(I regret it more than anything as I failed to convey an important lesson of relationship to my own kids).

Parenthood

People who experience parenthood are different than who never experienced it. It change a person forever and I think it is one of the most essential experience to attain in life.

Why Amitabh become an Indian icon

Following is not my observation. I read it somewhere (I wish I had remembered). I think this is a very important observation about the pivot role of cinema in modern societies.

After 2 wars with Pakistan India was passing through a very rough state of affairs in the early and mid-1970s. Poverty was at a peak, the population was exploding, people were literally living on streets, alcoholism and prostitution were at rampage, basic necessities of life were counted as luxury and corruption was a way of life. For poor men cinema was the only cheap entertainment but it was all glossy with romance. Amitabh came on screen as a rebellious young angry man who defies all norms of society and fights against injustice. His movies Zanjeer, Sholay, Deewar, Don etc were prime examples. Indian society instantly identified its hidden frustration on the cinema screen. They found Amitabh as a reflection of their fantasies. His long stature, deep voice and expressive angry face were in perfect coordination with inner desires of people.

Mid-life crisis

What destroyed our marriage was a mid-life crisis. Exactly the day he turned 48, he bought a new BMW. A few days later, he purchased a red sofa in the house. He went for a hair transplant. But I didn't expect that he would divorce me! We were raising four kids together like the Brady bunch. He found a young girlfriend and became a sugar daddy. He started dressing more like Elvis, and it was apparent that he was working hard to enjoy life. I was devastated. He stuck around for a couple of years visiting kids but then vanished completely. I went into depression, hit with a couple of bad accidents under the influence of all crazy anti-psychotics. It was a hard time. Eventually, kids grew out and moved on with their life. I learned to live my life by finding hobbies of dancing and knitting. I tried to date 2/3 times but found the same shade in those men. Sixteen years passed by. I didn't see my ex ever in those years.

And yesterday, suddenly, we bumped into one community fair. I didn't recognize at first glance. My ex was bald again and appeared very old. Tons of wrinkles on the face. He was walking with a cane. I guess he developed a terrible hip. I called his name. He looked at me. Tears came to his eyes. He put his hands on my shoulder. He tried to say something but then walked off without words. He looks pretty alone. I wish he would have talked to me. I wanted to tell him that I still value our ten years of marriage more than anything, but words have lost meaning. I came back to a lonely house.

So watch yourself! And don't let any young chick at the strip club or Craiglist plunge you into a deep ditch of a mid-life crisis. It kills people and their loved ones from the inside.

*

15 baras

Main 'Markham' main rehti thi. Woh 'Brampton' main rehta tha. Main 2 jobs kerne ke baad TTC main dhakke kha ker us ke ghar jaati. Uske bartan dhoti, us ke kupre saaf kerti, khana banati. Meri saari zindagi us ke gird ghumti. Main us ke 'bills' bhi 'pay' ker deti - bulke uski 'fees' pay kerne ke liye amma ke diye kai zewar bhi bech diye. Amma ne lakh samjahaya. Abbu ne bhi kaha: "beta! tum dono ka mazhab alag hai, tum dono ki shadi bohat aage nahi jaaye gi". Magar main ishq main gum satwain aasman pe thi. Sab galat the - bus meri mohabbat theek thi.

Aur phir aik din woh aik dum se gaaib ho gaya. Zameen nigal gayi ya asmaan kha gaya. Khuch dinoN baad pata laga us ne Pakistan ja ker apni cousin se shaadi racha li. Main baawli si ho gi. Aik roz backpack le ker ghar se nikal gai. VIA Rail main beth gai. Train chalti rahi. Vancouver paunch gai magar dil wahiN Toronto main reh gaya.

15 baras ho gaye magar ab tuk us 'shock' se bahir nahi aayi. Ab bhi Toronto ka naam sun ker dar jaati hun. Tum jaante ho 15 baras aik aik pal kisi ki yaad se bhagna kiya hota hai. Tum mard ho. Tum kiya jaano tum mardoN ki bewafaii kese aurat ko botal main jin ki tarah band ker deti hai.

15 saal! uf khudaya! ab to aaine main apna chehra dekhne se bhi dar lagta hai....aik aik shikan pe uska naam likha hai.

Lambi Judai - Reshma

I love flute in this song. What a classic of Reshma!

Tute zamaane tere haat nigore

jin se dilon ke tu ne sheeshe tore


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-PiLICADb0

Love and Hate!

Golf and Cricket!

So you need to know the difference between Cricket and Golf!

"In Cricket you try to hit ball as hard as you can but in Golf you need to hit it only right! Are you following me?"

Do the dead greet the dying?

Following article caught my eye as I wondered about same phenomenon for years. When my father (here) died he provided the similar vision of his mother (my dadi).

"Throughout my years of working with the dying and the bereaved, I have noticed commonly shared experiences that remain beyond our ability to explain and fully understand. The first are visions.

As the dying see less of this world, some people appear to begin looking into the world to come. It’s not unusual for the dying to have visions, often of someone who has already passed on. Your loved one may tell you that his deceased father visited him last night, or your loved one might speak to his mom as if she were there in the room at that time..."

Read full article of David Kessler here.  (David Kessler is a leading and well-known expert on dying process after Elisabeth Kübler-Ross)

Aik zillat ka qissa

(One of my friend just returned from Pakistan's flood relief work)

There is a flood relief camp set up at Sohrab Goth near Karachi for people displaced from interior Sindh. That day they were distributing food cans in line. There was a girl of about 24 years age standing in line to get food for her small kid in lap. Policeman who was distributing food - without any shame - first played with her breasts and than hand over food. She walked away quietly with food!

Desires

(Shared by a fellow passenger when flight was cancelled and we were stuck at airport for 8 hours)

I am from Nigeria. My parents divorced when I was 18 or 19. That divorce did not only teach me that how men and women are different but also taught me that human relationships, desires and emotions are so complex that its not easy to blame one person.

My father was a hard working man. We were a middle class people living in a one bedroom apartment. My mother was way younger than my dad. She was an attractive woman with long silky black hair. She always thought that she is married to a wrong person. She thought herself of a princess. Her desires were forever. She craved for big house, servants, good clothings and of luxuries. She never cheated on my father. She took care of all household but she was not happy. On the other hand my father was a pragmatic man burned by harsh realities of life. Romance was dead in his heart and he had lost his softer and touchy inner self. He was unable to see woman's heart!

At one time my father was out of town for 3 weeks. I was away to college. One of our old neighbors had a big ancestral house little away at beach. My mom went there for 18 days. She felt like princess there in a big house with servants and furniture full castle. She came back. When my father returned and he came to know of her adventure - they had a huge fight. My father divorced her.

Life moved on but even now when I look back - I don't know whom to blame?