Baal!

"Tum apne itne lambe baaloN ko 'maintain' kese kerti ho?" 
"Amma kehti haiN! Aurat ke baal jitne khubsurat aur haat jitne sugghar hon (cooking) - mard usse utni hi ziyada mohabbat kerta hai!" 

 (being a man I can testify above as true - but can't speak from women's perspective)

No! He didn't have affair!

Life seemed nearly perfect for Catherine and John Graves, who married in 2001 and lovingly merged two families that included six children. The couple also joined forces in a masonry business in Phoenix and looked forward to a bright economic and emotional future. But just a few years into their new marriage, John Graves showed signs of having an affair. He seemed to lose interest in his wife, squandered company money and disappeared for hours at night. Catherine Graves, now 45, even hired a private detective. 

But it wasn't another woman who was the problem -- it was an aggressive and fatal brain tumor that had slowly caused personality changes and eventually killed her husband of only five years ...............................................

"First of all, we had a year of a really horrible marriage -- he went from loving me more than anything in the world to seeming like he didn't care about me at all," Graves said.

When the private detective turned up nothing nefarious, the couple sought counseling and John was diagnosed with depression. But after he suffered a seizure while in residential treatment, counselors sent him off to a hospital emergency room where a brain scan revealed a virulent glioblastoma, commonly called a glioma.

John Graves' tumor was located in the frontal lobe, which controls personality and emotion -- "the things that make you who you are," according to his wife. His short-term memory had started to fail and "he honestly didn't know where he was and how to get home," she said. "He'd be on the phone and not know who he was talking to. "I thought maybe he was doing drugs and drinking or he was depressed and gambling," she said. Her husband underwent surgery to remove the tumor, but, like a lobotomy, it rendered him emotionless. The steroid medication made him irritable and angry. He suffered repeated seizures.
Graves was sent home to care for him, not knowing when he would die...........

(Source: ABC News via Yahoo here)

Shukar..

(overheard)

"Baji! aap ke bhayya har chutti wale din, poora poora din bethe video games kehlte rehte hain....unko koi baat hi samjh nahi aati"

"Are bibi shukar karo! ghar pe tumhari aankhoN ke saamne hote hain....Mere Mian ki tarah poori poori raat strip club main nahi pare rehte"

Brainwashing...

Out of many, one thing which I found very intriguing that how easily human mind(s) can be manipulated. At personal level it happens all the time in any given human relationship. But how media, political leaders and just a wave of stereotyping can sway millions of mind is extremely disturbing. It may sound crude - but I call it F****ing with brains. Alarmingly, there are very few fortunate who can see out of box in middle of any given crisis.

(On same note but at different frequency other posts were psychological dyslexia and dusra sawal)

Noticer

 "Noticer" - one of the finest book I read in recent memory, written by Andy Andrews. In one way this book is just a story but in actuality it explores different situations of life where just looking things from different 'perspective' - makes the whole difference. It discusses situation of a young teenager plunged into depression, a couple near divorce, a middle age hard working professional who is just not sure why thing are falling apart despite sincere hard work, young college graduates confused about picking right life partners, a person who is trying to reach success by short cuts, an old lonely lady who now feels worthless.....and many others.

My favorite line from book:  "Logic warned him to keep quiet, but something more powerful gave him a sense of well-being, of trust."

Fetal Heartbeat!

Nothing is more mesmerizing, amazing, mystifying and miraculous than watching the fast beating heart of fetus in mother's womb!

A Physician's Diary!

Last week while driving on highway, I had acute abdominal pain, I felt dizzy and I forcefully puked on windscreen. I was barely able to take exit and parked in a parking lot. As I felt better, I drove myself to  hospital (a stupid thing to do instead of calling 911).

Since my arrival to ER, sitting on wheelchair, going through triage, watching staff working under pressure, other emergencies arriving, going through the registration process while puking, a new nurse desperately trying to put IV on me, getting medications, watching physicians, paramedics, loved ones waiting in lobby, other patients, one violent psych patient lying next to me, a CNA trying to give comfort while putting extra blanket on me, going through various tests, watching technicians, transporters and other staff calmly taking frustration of patients. Dealing with first year confused intern, resident, surgeon.....And above all while lying there as a patient......

I realized, how privileged and blessed I am, to put my white coat every morning and go to work. Nothing could be more rewarding. That explained to me one unanswered query of my life that why over centuries - sages, saints, sufis and other religious men have so much interest in medicine as nothing could be more nobler than bringing comfort to an human's misery.....

Ibne maryam huwa kare koi
mere dukh ki dawa kare koi

I had nothing but to say thank you in my heart!!

Goodbye

 A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it. (Helen Rowland)

Mom reunites with daughter 77 years later

For most of her 100 years, Minka Disbrow tried to find out what became of the precious baby girl she gave up for adoption after being raped as a teen.

One amazing story of human relationship. click here

Frienemies

 Kuch arsa pehle aik dost ne bari khubsurat baat sunai ke: "MiaN biwi ka rishta bara hasad ka rishta hota hai". Baat kafi had tak sahi hai. Aksar 'marriages' main partners main - aik tarah ki 'unconscious power struggle' shuru ho jaati hai...


Aaj phir kisi ne kaha ke mian biwi aik dusre ke 'Frienemies' hote hain - to woh baat phir yaad aa gai!!

(Frienemies or Frenemies = Friend and Enemy simultaneously)

On Near Death Experience

A Texas teenager, Ben Breedlove, who cheated death three times despite a dangerous heart condition died on Christmas night from a heart attack, but not before posting a two-part video on YouTube telling his story and describing a series of powerful visions.

Story here,    Youtube videos  Part 1 Part 2

Ghalib!

I think it was 1996. I was very new in USA. I was invited to a private dinner by Ifti (Click). I was sitting next to Javed Akhtar. (Ye woh zamana tha jab log Shabana Azmi ko Javed Akhtar se ziyada jaante the!). Javed Akhtar asked me about my work, Pakistan, my background etc. Than he asked me: "Beta kuch shayeri wayeri bhi parhte ho?" I replied Yes and I added that I love Ghalib! Javed Akhtar smiled and said: "Sahi kehto ho! shayer to sirf Ghalib hai - baqi sab shayer ghaliban hain" (The only poet is Ghalib - all others can be said as probable poets!)...Ghalib ki is se achhi taa'rif main ne aaj tak nahi suni!


Somebody send this interesting article on Ghalib and I think its worth sharing. Mirza Ghalib: Peshawari Turban and Humor (click)

The Descendants

In Holidays' all glamorous movies - George Clooney's independent/art movie "The Descendants" didn't catch much media attention, but it was an awesome work - not only because Clooney did a great piece of acting but the way the whole movie came all together with plot, photography, dialogues, etc.

George Clooney is a busy attorney whose wife become vegetative after a boat accident. While caring for her, he knows she was cheating on him. First, he goes nuts, but as the movie progresses, he deals with his anger. Simultaneously, he has to deal with his 2 spoiled, dysfunctional daughters and his other obligation as trustee of an expensive family fortune.

The theme is that in the end, you must let go of all bitter feelings and carry on with your responsibilities as best as possible.

Trailer here

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Death in Sleep!

Kiya log chale jaane ke baad hame aalme-bala main yaad kerte hain? ya neend main hum sab alame-baala main hote hain?

 .............Aaj main aik aese kawab se bedaar huwa jis main aik bohat purana dost jo ab ja chuka - mere paas betha batain kerta raha. Us ke jaane se pehle hamari laraii hui thi, baat cheet band ho gai thi, taaluqat aese tute ke phir kabhi baat na hui...and we became friends again in my dream! 

 Uth ker kuch der main kafi pareshani ke alam main raha. Yun mehsoos hota tha woh khawab nahi, haqeeqat tha! Main ne Quran khola to ye ayat parhne ko mili: "Woh wahi hai jo raat main tumhae wafat deta hai aur janta hai jo kuch din main kamao, phir tumhe din main uthata hai ke theraii hui mee'ad puri ho - phir usi ki taraf phirna hai - phir woh bata dega jo kuch tum kerte the' (6:60) 

A Quote

 Being happy doesn't result from solving the world's problems, it is a state of mind with which you confront the world's problem. (Dr. Timothy J. Sharp in 100 Ways to Happiness)

Aik kamra - Aur us main ruka waqt!

(There is no exaggeration in following post. Everything is written as found)

Is kamre main lagta hai waqt 'March 2003' pe  aa ker tham gaya hai.
Peechle aath (8) baras main is kamre main kuch nahi badla!

Bister pe rakhe khubsurat 'pillows' ki teh der teh......Bister kinare  'carousel horse' ka woh lamp......Study table pe khuli woh note book. Us note book pe woh pencil aath (8) baras se yunhi pari hai.......Woh compUSA ka kids computer....Bookshelf main khubsurti se saji woh kahanioN ki kitabain........Deewar pe laga woh marker board, jis pe peechle aath (8) baras se us bachhi ke likhe alfaz - "Dance is my life" aaj bhi yunhi tehreer hai....Bathroom main pare woh 'towels'......Sink pe woh 'princess' ka tooth brush.......Calendar pe "March 2003" ka mahina.....

Is kamre main ghari ki sui ruk si gai hai.

Dr. Farhat ki biwi aath (8) baras pehle ghar chor ker chali gai. Jaate jaate beti ko bhi le gai. Us din se Dr. Farhat ke - darkhton (woods) main ghire  - is million dollar mension - ke is kamre main kuch nahi badla. 'Maid' ko sakht hidayat hai ke - safaii zaroor ho - magar koi cheez jagah se na hile.

Is kamre ko main ne pehle bhi dekha hai magar ab ke baras to - mujeh is kamre se khauf aane laga hai jis main yaadoN ke kai bhoot pareet band ho gaye hain!!

Aik Sher!

I am not sure is this sher belongs to Mohsin Bhopali or Mohsin Naqvi, as both used same takhallus - (or some other Mohsin) - but its worth sharing..

Over centuries history changed as bit Mohsin
Than age was stoned, now people are stoned!

Matti Pao!

Is blog pe main ne apne aik dost Barkatullah ka zikar kiya tha (here). 'Positive Attitude' rakhne wale aese log zindagi main bohat kum milte haiN. Barkatullah se main ne zindagi main do (2) 'Magical Words' sikhe! aur woh mujeh zindagi main bohat kaam aaye.


Jub kabhi mohalle main hamara kisi se jhagra ho jaata, hum Cricket ka koi match haar jaate, koi nuqsan ho jaata, koi picnic kharab ho jaati, koi dost dhoka de jaata....Aur jub hum sab dost beth ker - uska afsos kerna shuru kerte - ya gussa utarna shuru kerte ...to Barkatullah apni patloon jharta huwa khara hota aur kehta "Matti Pao" - aur phir kehta "chalo chai piyaiN" ya "chalo film dekhaiN" ya "chalo clifton chalaiN" ya "chalo nihari khate haiN" .....aur hum sab bhi "Haan Haan Matti Pao" keh ker saath chal parte - aur sab kuch bhool jaate!


Zindagi main aksar aese mauqe aaye.....jab main 'frustrate' huwa, jab main udas huwa, pareshan huwa, gussa ayya, nuqsan huwa, koi anhoni ya napasandeedah  baat ho gai...Main dil main kehta hun - "Matti Pao" - aur moveon ho jaata hun...


Bachpan ki kai baatain zindagi bhar saath nahi chortiN

Saima-2

 Somebody send me a personal email asking for a follow up on one story I did on Saima (or here). Here is the follow up.

Saima finally told her husband about her previous illegitimate child from her teenage life and it resulted in following domino effect. I will put everything as factually happened so probably no literary 'chashni'.

1. Saima's husband divorced her and kicked her out of the house!
2. Saima  found her daughter and she accepted her, and actually that's the only good part of this story. They both keep in touch with each other.
3. Saima's husband after divorce lost all his business and Child Support dropped down only to $300 per month which brought Saima literally on street. Though she finds odd job on and off but they pay very minimal money (without any skill).
4. Saima's one son dropped out from college and moved on with his life. He is angry on his mother whom he thinks of as slut now (some brainwashing from dad)!
5. To save second son from dropping out from college she found an old Pakistani married sugar daddy who helps her out financially but naturally she has to pay in some other way! (I will not get judgmental here)
6. Due to above all, she lost all respect in conservative desi community and she is now rarely seen in public.
7. Saima took truth to end by informing the guy who fathered her daughter years ago but he didn't show any interest! (let say didn't give S***)

Sachhai ki bohat bhari qeemat ada ki hai Saima ne

Last time I heard from her about 6 months ago (since she changed her #), when I texted her just to find out how she is doing and she text me back the following song!

On 'Quest of Love'

Much has been written on this topic, but it was best described in the renowned French novel "Madame Bovary." Whether talking of unhappiness in one's relationship - or polygamous relationships - or leaving relationships one after another in quest of perfect/ideal relationship  - one thing needs to be understood:

"Extramarital relationships, polygamous affairs, quickies, one night stands, serial dating - is not a sign of freedom and may sound very exotic on the outside but may turn a soul into as pathetic, possessive and banal as monogamous relationship or marriage itself. In actuality, this so-called sign of freedom may become a bigger psychological, social, and psychological storm...."

There is no perfect answer! As our Gulzar  Sahab said on relationships....

KaantoN ki taaraiN haiN, Pathar ke darwaze!

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