Happy New Year

Pardesi aur Purani Kahani

"Kiya huwa tum Pakistan nahi gaye? 6 mahine se shor machaya huwa tha, 10 baras baad Pakistan jaane ka!"

"Bhai! wahi purani kahani ho gai! Socha tha ghar walon ko surprise dunga jaane se 2 din pehle bata ke. Amma ko bataya to kehne lagiN: Choti ki shadi ki tayyari kerni hai, Abba ne kaha: ooper ki manzil banwani hai - aur ghar ke har fard ki farmaishain thi.... kisi ko iphone chahiye tha to kisi ko iPad aur kisi ko Nike ke joote... 10 hazar dollar bachane ke liye phir Pakistan jane ka program late ker diya. Inshallah agle baras...shayed....."

Shah Vazeer

Shah Vazeer aik nahi do naam hain. Shah aur Vazeer. 
Ye dono dost hain. Aur ab bhi Karachi main kahin rehte hain.

Jab main medical school jaane ki tayyari main tha to aik tuition center main parhta bhi tha aur parhata bhi tha. Wahin meri mulaqat Shah aur Vazeer se hui thi. Ye dono aik dusre ke bachpan ke dost the. Bachpan se aik hi school gaye. Aik hi mohalle main rahe. Itne saath rahe ke naam hi 'Shah Vazeer' par gaya!

Un dono ko medical college jaane ka koi shoq nahi tha. Ghar waloN ke zor per intermediate repeat ker rahe the. Magar poora din Tuition Center ke bahir bethe rehte. Cigarette phoonkte rehte. Larkion ko dekhte aur class ka time khatam hota to bus main char ker ghar chale jaate. Main un se poochta ke jab medical college nahi jaana to kiun waqt barbad kerte ho? to hanste rehte. Saal khatam ho gaya. Main medical school chala gaya. Unhon ne science chor ker B.Com main admission le liya. 

Kuch  dino pehle Shah Vazeer ke mohalle ka aik larka America main mil gaya. Main ne Shah Vazeer ka poocha to usne bataya: "Shah Vazeer ab bhi usi mohalle main, usi makan main rehte hain. Dono ke paas ab aik aik motorcycle hai. Dono ke 3-3 bachhe hain. Shah ki aik choti si kiryane ki dukan hai aur Vazeer apni motorcycle pe supply ka kaam kerta hai. Woh ab bhi yunhi haste hain, khush rehte hain - aur jab koi unse poochta hai: aage kiya irada hai? to woh haste rehte hain"!

Pata nahi kiun? Main bohat dinoN tak Shah Vazeer ke baare main sochta raha! 25-27 baras baad bhi mujeh andar se yun mehsoos hota raha jese Main ne Shah Vazeer ke saath Tutition Center ke bahir saath cigarette na phoonk ker koi galati ker di !!!!!!

And culture continues...

(Despite immigrants continue to move toward west, their values continue to haunt many of their new relationships. A simple story  - with my gulabi english translation below).

From uncle Saugoree Urdu blog 

میرے ایک عزیز دوست جگ بیتی او آپ بیتی  'کہانیاں' لکھتے ہیں   میں اکثر ان سے متاثّر ہوتا ہوں کبھی کبھی مجھے بھی ایسا لکھنے کا خیال آتا ہے

عرصہ ہوا میں اس وقت انگلستان میں کام کر رہا تھا اس وقت وہاں ہسپتالوں کی گروپینگ اور قسم کی تھی خیر ہمارے

 گرپ کے تمام ہندوستانی اور پاکستانی کسی اتوار کو اکٹّے ہو جاتے اور خوب محفل جمتی چنانچہ اس طرح ہم سب ایک دوسرے سے واقف ہوجاتے تھے اسی زمانے کا ذکر ہے ہمارے گروپ میں ایک نئ ہندوساتی ہائوس فزیشن آئ بڑی سیدھی سادی لڑکی تھی ہمارے سینئر لڑکوں میں ایک صاحب جو مسلمان تھے انھیں وہ لڑکی پسند آئ۔ وہ بھی سیدھے سادھے مسلمان پاکستانی تھے لڑکی کی ایک بات یاد ہے کہ اس کے وارڈ میں ایک سٹروک کا مریض داخل ہوا بچاری پریشان تھی کیا کرے کس طرح اس کی مدد کرے ساری رات اس کے سرہانے بیٹھی سوچتی رہی اور جو اس کی ضروریات تھی نرس کی طرح کرتی رہی  - اب ممکن ہے اس میں کچھ  'ذیب داستاں کے لئے کچھ بڑھا' بھی دیا گیا ہو مگر قارئین کو اس کی سادگی سمجھ آگئ ہو گی  ہوتے ہوتے ان دونوں میں - یعنی جن پاکستانی صاحب کا ذکر کیا ہے ان میں باقاعدہ محبت ہوگئ شادی کی بات چلی  دہلی میں اس کے گھر والے نہ مانے اور پاکستان میں ان کے گھر والے تیار نہ ہوئے اب یہ مجھے یاد نہیں کہ لڑکی نے ہندو سے مسلمان ہونے کا ذکر کیا تھا یا نہیں

 ممکن ہے اور بھی ایسے وقعات ہوتے رہتے ہیں ان میں کچھ اور اسباب ہوتے ہوں لیکن اکثر ایسا دیکھنے میں آتا ہے کہ محبت کو قربان کر دیا جاتا ہے میں یہ ان مغربی ممالک کی بات کر رہا ہوں اور پڑھے لکھے ہوشمند انسانوں کا لکھ رہا ہوں .

پاکستان میں جو کچھ ہوتا ہے اس کا ذکر نہیں کر رہا ہوں

One of my good friends writes autobiographies and other people's biographies. Many times I get impressed by him, and I think of writing biographies as well.

A long time ago, when I worked in England, we had different kind of groupings, and in our group, most of the people were either Indians or Pakistanis. We used to get together on Sundays, and have a good party. That's how we got to know each other better. Then, there comes a new girl from India, who was a house physician, and a very simple girl. One of our senior boys, who was Muslim, started to like that girl. The guy was also a very simple man. The girl was so simple that I remember once in her ward, there was a patient with stroke. She was new and was confused, and didn't know how to help that patient. All night, she stayed on the patient's bedside thinking, and helping the patient just like a nurse does. It's possible that, for storytelling, I may be exaggerating a little bit, but the reader should know, how simple that girl was. 

Over time, they both, meaning the Pakistani guy I described above, and the girl formally fell in love, and wanted to get married. Unfortunately, the girl's family in Delhi, India, and the boy's family in Pakistan, didn’t accept the relationship. I don't exactly remember whether the girl agreed to convert from Hinduism to Islam, but nevertheless, the marriage didn't happen. It's very much possible that these sort of events happen regularly. There may be other factors involved, but frequently we see that love gets sacrificed. And, I am talking about educated and intelligent people in the Western world, not people back home in Pakistan! 

 [And, that surprises me a lot.]

Nuqsan

Hazrat Ali ne kaha tha: "Duniya ka sab se chota nuqsan daulat ka hota hai"

Zindagi ka aik lamba arsa guzaarne ke baad mujhe samjh aaya ke kitna sach hai ke - asal nuqsan kisi dost ka kho jaana, kisi ka aitmad kho dena, apna waqar - apni izzat kho dena, apne kisi piyare ki judaii, apni sahet ka nuqsan, apne iradoN ka past ho jana aur apne khawaboN ka nabood ho jana hai.

Aik dafa phir se ye sab parhiye aur sochiye - kiya daulat in cheezoN ka madawa ker sakti hai?

A Quote

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship." ~ Sharon Stone

Dilip Kumar's Advice to Actors

I was reading Dilip sahab's newest interview. What he advised to new actors and actresses in one line, is itself the deepest philosophy and a book on acting in one line! - "Invest your emotions wisely"

You can read whole interview at

http://www.bollywoodhungama.com/celebrities/features/type/view/id/7622

A Quote

(I have a privilege to meet such few people in life)

On 'Hobby' and 'one labor of love'

One important lesson I have learned in life is that every person should have one hobby and one labor of love in their life aside from their usual responsibilities of family, children, friends, and career.

A hobby can be anything you thoroughly enjoy writing, reading, movies, playing golf, traveling, gardening, or knitting - to soothe and numb yourself. (No, Facebook and Twitter are not a hobby)

One labor of love is something that requires dedication, affection, time, and effort. It could be any project like volunteering at any homeless center, teaching at church/mosque, part of any fundraising for a good cause, going to a cancer hospital to act like a clown for kids, or any reason which is dear to your heart.

darde dil ke waaste paida kiya insaan ko

*

On "bare arms"

Someone asked me: "What attracts you most in a woman besides the usual busts and bums?"!

I replied: "I find sleeveless bare arms extremely attractive."

I got an interesting comment: "Did you know Homer in the Iliad refers to certain goddesses as white-armed? So, this was almost their identification. So you are not the only one who is a fan of bare arms. It happened a few thousand years ago:-)"

*

on "Vision"

A blind person asked a sage: "Can there be anything worse than losing one's eyesight?" 
He replied: "Yes, losing your vision!" 

.

Gran Torino

It was pluto who first said that: ""The purpose of Philosophy is to teach us how to die". Making extension of it, I believe, the purpose of life itself is to teach us how to die.

The best explanation of above statement can be view in Clint Eastwood's movie Gran Torino. I saw this movie some 5/6 years ago but message of movie was so powerful that it is still stuck to my mind. It is a story of a "man" who is trying to teach a growing teen how a "man" should live and eventually die! - when life presents to you nothing but odds.

Trailer here (youtube) or here  (IMDb)

Consumed!

In the last few years, Turkey has become a major vacation destination in the USA due to its affordability, direct flights, extremely tourist-friendly atmosphere, safety, rich history, and beauty. One of my friends just came back from Turkey. I asked him what did he like most about Turkey. He replied:

"I came back with the enlightenment of Rumi's words. 'The summary of my life is these three statements: I was immature; I became experienced; I was consumed.'  - baqi sab to bus khel tamasha tha".

*

On Domestic violence / A woman's perspective

(One email)

I came across your blog recently and realized you make fun of women and their influences on their men. Husbands and wives and their stories are all very amusing. You think love is there when the diamonds are bought and the trips are arranged and the money is being generous. But there is a flip side to it. When a man pushes and grabs a woman in his anger. 

When the woman tries to leave as she does not want to increase the tension, he stands in his way and grabs her throat. But when the woman says please do not touch me, he twists her fingers and grab her wrists and tell her that he can touch her when ever he wants to. When he drags her to 'talk' to her. Because he is angry. Because he is the man. Because he can take away to car keys and tell the woman to walk if she wants to go out because it is his car and he can have it and she will not have it. And the woman is thankful that he did not pull her hair out as it would be supremely painful and did not hit the blemish free face as it will leave a bruise and she will not be able to tell the world what happened.

This is where the other side of picture is obvious. A woman with kids and family, a woman who is so independent and well educated, a woman who is the most cherished one by many, that woman is just a commodity behind the close doors. Because that woman went to the gym in the morning and the man did not want to give breakfast to the kids. Where as normally, it would not be a problem, but what if the man is stressed because of work? And as a man, he can make his woman the victim of his wrath and treat her as a animal because he is a man and she is a woman.

One nostalgia

Meri zindagi main kai aesi 'funny' aur 'humorous' larkian aai hain, jin ki batain soch kar aksar bethe bethe ya drive karte huwe mere laboN pe hansi aa jaati hai.

(Sochta hun - bas insaan ke lafzon ki yaad dilon main reh jaati hai - Baqi sab maya hai)

Donor

When I married her, everybody thought I was an idiot. She did not bear a good reputation in our strong-knit Jewish community. My mom thought she was a gold digger. Please make no mistake; our marriage was not very smooth either. Sometimes, we thought of divorcing each other but stuck together for the sake of kids. And then, I was diagnosed with kidney failure. As my creatinine kept rising, I lost control over my life, my career, and myself. My nephrologist suggested I look for a donor - instead of waiting on the national registry. It may prevent the agony of dialysis and its complication. All of my siblings looked away, but she had no second thought about giving her one kidney to me. What she did, requires an immense depth in one's soul to be comfortable with donating a live organ. I was wrong all my life trying to judge my wife through people's eyes. Yes, I am an idiot!

*

The Judge

The Judge is one of the finest movies I have seen in recent months. Absolute Oscar performance by Robert Downey Jr. Movie revolves around the relationship between a conscientious father and a street-smart son, who are at odds with each other. And one turn of the event brought them face to face, igniting their hate and love relationship.

But at the core is the metamorphosis of a materialist and corrupt attorney to an honest human being by observing the strong commitment of his father to values in the weakest moments of life.

Trailer here 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBvK6ni97W8

*

Qaziye-shehar ka matha chumo

After a long time, I heard this poetry of Mustafa Zaidi when someone posted after gruesome killing of Pakistani Christian couple - Pakistan ke naam

meri palkon ko mat dekho 
inka uthna inka chapkna 
jism ka na-mehsoos amal hai 

meri ankhon ko mat dekho 
inki auT main shaam e gareebaN
inki aaR mai dashte azal hai 
meray chehray ko mat dekho 
iss mai koi wada e farda 
iss mai koi aaj na kal hai 

ab us darya tak mat aao 
jis ki lehrain toot chuki hain 
uss seenay sey lo na lagao
 jis ki nabzain choot chuki hain 

 ab meray qatil ko chaho
 mera qatil, marham marham darya darya sahil sahil 
Qaziye-shehar ka matha chumo 
jis ke qalam mai zehray hilahil, jis ke sukhan mai lehle salasil 

ab uss raqs ki dhun per nacho 
jis ki gat per lut gaya qazi 
ji ki ley per bik gaya qatil 
bik gaya qatil, bik gaya qatil

On Books and Women

"I treat my books the way I treat a woman I love. I read them so immaculately it is hard to tell they have been read."  ~ Mustansir Hussain Tarar aka chachaji

Der Ker Deta Hun Main

Karim 'Missile' - bus yahi naam uski Pehchan ban gaya tha. 
Shayed is liye ke Taxi bohat tez chalata tha.

Bachpan se hamari mohalle ki yaari thi. 

Kuch saath saath hi America aaye the. 

Kabhi yahan mil jaate, kabhi wahan mil jaate. 

Ajeeb yaaron ka yaar aadmi thi - Mehfilon ki jaan tha.

April main, main Chicago gaya to 'Devon' pe mil gaya. 

Kehne laga: "Chal yaar Nihari kha ker jaana".. 

Main ne kaha: "Nahi yaar! abhi to dusre dostoN ke saath hun, phir kabhi.. Main tumhe phone karun ga".. 

Usne kaha: "Zaroor kerna. Zamana ho gaya gup lagaye. Kaun jaane! kal ho na ho"

Main ne phone hi nahi kiya. Jab milta, apni biwi ka dhukRa rota rehta. Wapas aa ker apne kaam kaaj main lag gaya. Aik hafte pehle pata laga Karim Missile ne biwi ke jhagroN se taang aa ker khud-kushi ker li.......

aaj 8 din guzar jaane pe bhi us ke alfaz mere kaan main gunjte hain: "kal ho na ho"

Choti si baat thi - aik phone call ki - 

jis ka malal mujeh saari umar rahe ga. 

Shayed woh dil ke baat keh paata. 

Shayed us ke dukhoN ke 'venting' ho jaati. 

Shayed main use bacha paata